A few days ago, there was a small disturbance in the Gay Monastery (aka The Manosphere.) It had to do with the idea of having sex with married women. Paul, from Come On Man Podcast had one take, as well as some random bot account that had the same take. Rian Stone quoted the bot with, “Not our call to make.”
Paul then went on to add to my original tweet, and I had to follow it up with a question. Rian got involved in this part as well.
For the record: I am not trying to shit on Paul. I like Paul. I like what he is trying to do on the internet. I like most of his ideas, but in my opinion, his idea here wasn’t the best take, and it’s not because you should have sex with married women, it’s the fact that Paul is coming from a place of his own morality. There’s nothing helpful in his tweet. It’s the equivalent to the “Just Say No” campaign that was run by a certain Nancy Reagan back in the 1980’s for drug prevention.
We all know how well that turned out, right?
The Red Pill as I know it, and as anyone who has read or watched anything from Rollo Tomassi, will understand that it is a praxeology.
What is a praxeology? I’m glad you asked.
A praxeology is: the study of human action and conduct
Morality on the other hand is: of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior.
For the TL;DR crowd: The Red Pill is a set of tools and strategies to become more effective with mating and dating with the opposite sex.
The Red Pill is a tool, and nothing more. It is amoral. It is upon the person using the tools and their intent is when we step into the world of morality. Much like putting a scalpel into the hands of a surgeon or into the hands of a psychopath, one will save lives, the other will destroy lives. The scalpel is only a tool and is amoral, it’s the person wielding it with intent is where morality comes into play.
When the “discussion” about having sex with married women came up, guys got HOT.
Rian brought up a great point: Bringing morality into the question of having sex with married women keeps it taboo, untouched. It’s “sacred.” Why is that? My wanting to talk about it, isn’t me advocating for fucking married women. In fact, if you asked me, “Hey Rob, I’m thinking about fucking a married chick, what do you think?” I would probably respond with something like this:
“I think that’s probably a very bad idea, and here’s why:”
- You could get murdered for doing that
- You could get seriously injured for doing that
- You could go to prison for doing that
- You could be sued for doing that
Nowhere in there did I bring up morality, because your moral code and my moral code can and probably are, completely different from one another. “Just Say No” didn’t work for drug prevention, and it’s certainly not going to work for fidelity.
But why are guys “going off the deep end” when the conversation about having sex with a married woman comes up? Are you afraid that it might be YOUR wife fucking another man? Does that image make you uncomfortable? Is your ego really that fragile that you can’t even have a conversation about it and you have to shut it down? Like I said in the above tweet, most guys in the Gay Monastery don’t have girlfriends, let alone wives, so what’s the big deal fellas? Why you so mad about it? Why are you so uncomfortable?
Whether you are comfortable or not with having this particular conversation, infidelity is happening or is going to happen. Whether you like it or not, it’s going on around you, and yes, it could be your wife doing it. Burying your head in the sand won’t prevent it. Scolding and shaming won’t stop it. Preaching morality won’t slow it down in the slightest. People who want to cheat are going to cheat, so why not talk about it? Why not have a discussion? You might learn something from someone who has been there or knows someone who has been there and that information might help you prevent infidelity from happening to you, or it may help you from doing something stupid like committing a murder/suicide in the event that infidelity happens to you. But you’ll never know if all you want to do is yell, “Just Say No!” and then shut the conversation down.
All I see when I see someone mention “Never sleep with a married woman,” and they don’t follow it up with something practical and pragmatic, but they follow it up with morality, their morality, is a guy saying, “I don’t have sex with married women because I’m a good guy and my way is the right way and if you don’t do it my way, well, then you are a bad person and you’re doing it the wrong way.” That’s not very helpful to me.
At least I would tell a guy, “Hey man, you could get killed if you get caught. You sure you want to go there?”