Women In The ‘Sphere.

It’s almost the end of 2022, and I’m very satisfied with how things are going in my life at the moment. I’m satisfied with my blog, I’m satisfied with my YouTube channel, I’m satisfied with my relationships with my women, and I’m satisfied with the malarkey that is Twitter.

I have also had a few people reach out to me from various sources, all of them asking me a similar question:

“Rob, what do you think about women in the ‘Sphere?”

Jack Napier wrote about it 6 months ago, almost to the day. That was his take, and personally, I almost think he said it better than I could, but then again, I’m being asked what my opinion is, so I’m going to give it as I have had time to think about it now.

So what do I think about women in the ‘Sphere?

When I was first asked this, I was a little shocked and puzzled. That’s because I literally don’t think about women in the ‘Sphere. They have always been there to one degree or another, and they are more like a television or stereo that is on, but the volume is low. They are basically “background noise” to me. Women in the ‘Sphere have zero impact on my life, so I could really care less if they are there or not.

I believe it was Roissy who coined the phrase, “When it comes to women you aren’t fucking, whatever they say or do is either amusing, interesting, or irrelevant. You don’t take them seriously.” Granted, I’m paraphrasing a bit here, and if I’m wrong about the source, I’m totally fine with someone coming and pointing out the error of my ways.

That’s how I look at women online and in real life. If I’m not fucking them, I don’t take them seriously. Even if I’m fucking them, I seldom take them seriously, until it’s time to be serious.

When someone asks me, “Rob, what’s your thoughts on women in the ‘Sphere?” I realize that it is important to them. Otherwise, why are they asking this question? Why are they asking me what my “take” is? Clearly it’s important to the questioner, but my question to them is, “Why is this important to you?” Why do you care if women are here or not?

Make no mistake: How you feel or how I feel about women in the ‘Sphere is totally irrelevant. They are already here and have been for some time. Some have been in this “space” longer than I have been. I have seen plenty of women come and go, and I have seen some stick around forever, for god knows why. The point is, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t “gate keep” them. If they want in, they will find a way. So why worry or care about it?

I guess you could create your own platform and bring on some people who want to be full-time gatekeepers and maybe that’ll keep the women out for a while, but I know I don’t want that job. I have shit to do, I have a life. I don’t have time to inspect every account that shows up to see if their “man card” is legit or not. So what are you going to do?

I see women in the ‘Sphere and most of the time, they are just wanting male attention. So they say inflammatory things, hyperbolic things just to get a reaction. And most of you guys fall for it every time. It says more about you than it does about them. They are literally being “bratty little sisters,” and you are reacting to some nonsense that they threw out there to see who would bite. Talk about “failing a shit test.” Talk about having “no frame.” And I promise you, it’s not a good look to them, and it’s not a good look for you.

If you are constantly annoyed or angry about something a woman said, you have some work to do. If you find yourself needing to “correct her,” or feeling the need to “hold her accountable,” you have some work to do. If you find yourself constantly replying to her, congratulations, you have work to do. You can’t be constantly reacting to something some random asshole on the internet said, without having some work to do.

I find your lack of self awareness disturbing.

So women are in the ‘Sphere, they have always been here, and honestly, there’s going to be more of them coming as the Red Pill becomes more mainstream and more popular. It’s a fact, so get used to it. You have a choice of whether you choose to engage them and react to them, or you can choose to find whatever they say or do, interesting, amusing, or irrelevant. You can always mute or block them. You can always just keep scrolling. That’s usually what I do, I just keep scrolling.

I don’t take anything they say or do personally because I’m not fucking any of them, they don’t know me, I don’t know them, and so why should I let them bother me? Like I said earlier, they have zero impact on my life. Why are you letting it bother you?

The Red Pill started out as “guys swapping notes” about intergender dynamics, A.K.A., getting laid. It was never meant to be a “boys club” where women were seen as the adversary or the enemy. It was never meant to be a “Brotherhood.” At least that’s my take on it. I found this “space” to see if there was things that I didn’t know that would help me do even better than I was already doing with women. And lo and behold, there was some things. So I tried them out. I kept what worked, discarded what didn’t, and fine-tuned some of the stuff that worked some of the time to make it work more often than not. That’s what this “space” is to me. I don’t care if women are here or not, because they are here anyways.

I can understand a guy who just barely found this “space” having reservations. Your whole life just got upended. Maybe your wife divorce raped you. Maybe you found out your girl of several years was cheating on you. I’m sorry if those things are the case. But you have been listening to women your whole life, from the time you was a little boy. I know, because I was there too. At some point though, you have to take accountability for your life and realize that at least some part of it is your fault. You got here because you listened to women tell you what to do and how to behave. Maybe listening to them and reacting to them isn’t the best course of action?

What’s that saying? “Don’t ask a fish to tell you how to fish? Ask a fisherman?” Talk to guys instead of listening to women until you get your life on the course that you want it to go.

Here’s my own personal silver lining though:

Women in the ‘Sphere are practice for me. Since I don’t take them seriously, I keep my interactions with them fun and light-hearted. I flirt and I banter with them. I tease them. Much like women that I meet in real life or through some online dating app, it keeps me sharp and it’s far more entertaining and amusing to me than listening to the latest “masculinity” account (which they are all interchangeable if you care to check) tell me I should be more like Marcus Aurelius or that I should take cold showers, drink black coffee, go into “Monk Mode,” or sun my balls. You want to dry up a woman’s vagina? Be a Stoic. Be a philosopher.

It’s far more fun and entertaining for me to be the Devil whispering in her ear than anything. And yes, this includes “Trad Women.” There’s no such thing as a “trad woman,” there’s just women.

So what are my thoughts about women in the ‘Sphere?

Bring them on, I don’t care.

This isn’t a “Brotherhood.” There is no “us versus them.” This isn’t a “united front.” And who is “we,” motherfucker?

It’s a far more interesting space with them than without them. We are “better together” than not. They are not the enemy or the adversary. And if you can’t see that? You have work to do.

Morality And The Red Pill

A few days ago, there was a small disturbance in the Gay Monastery (aka The Manosphere.) It had to do with the idea of having sex with married women. Paul, from Come On Man Podcast had one take, as well as some random bot account that had the same take. Rian Stone quoted the bot with, “Not our call to make.”

Paul then went on to add to my original tweet, and I had to follow it up with a question. Rian got involved in this part as well.

For the record: I am not trying to shit on Paul. I like Paul. I like what he is trying to do on the internet. I like most of his ideas, but in my opinion, his idea here wasn’t the best take, and it’s not because you should have sex with married women, it’s the fact that Paul is coming from a place of his own morality. There’s nothing helpful in his tweet. It’s the equivalent to the “Just Say No” campaign that was run by a certain Nancy Reagan back in the 1980’s for drug prevention.

We all know how well that turned out, right?

The Red Pill as I know it, and as anyone who has read or watched anything from Rollo Tomassi, will understand that it is a praxeology.

What is a praxeology? I’m glad you asked.

A praxeology is: the study of human action and conduct

Morality on the other hand is: of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior.

For the TL;DR crowd: The Red Pill is a set of tools and strategies to become more effective with mating and dating with the opposite sex.

The Red Pill is a tool, and nothing more. It is amoral. It is upon the person using the tools and their intent is when we step into the world of morality. Much like putting a scalpel into the hands of a surgeon or into the hands of a psychopath, one will save lives, the other will destroy lives. The scalpel is only a tool and is amoral, it’s the person wielding it with intent is where morality comes into play.

When the “discussion” about having sex with married women came up, guys got HOT.

Rian brought up a great point: Bringing morality into the question of having sex with married women keeps it taboo, untouched. It’s “sacred.” Why is that? My wanting to talk about it, isn’t me advocating for fucking married women. In fact, if you asked me, “Hey Rob, I’m thinking about fucking a married chick, what do you think?” I would probably respond with something like this:

“I think that’s probably a very bad idea, and here’s why:”

  1. You could get murdered for doing that
  2. You could get seriously injured for doing that
  3. You could go to prison for doing that
  4. You could be sued for doing that

Nowhere in there did I bring up morality, because your moral code and my moral code can and probably are, completely different from one another. “Just Say No” didn’t work for drug prevention, and it’s certainly not going to work for fidelity.

But why are guys “going off the deep end” when the conversation about having sex with a married woman comes up? Are you afraid that it might be YOUR wife fucking another man? Does that image make you uncomfortable? Is your ego really that fragile that you can’t even have a conversation about it and you have to shut it down? Like I said in the above tweet, most guys in the Gay Monastery don’t have girlfriends, let alone wives, so what’s the big deal fellas? Why you so mad about it? Why are you so uncomfortable?

Realize this:

Whether you are comfortable or not with having this particular conversation, infidelity is happening or is going to happen. Whether you like it or not, it’s going on around you, and yes, it could be your wife doing it. Burying your head in the sand won’t prevent it. Scolding and shaming won’t stop it. Preaching morality won’t slow it down in the slightest. People who want to cheat are going to cheat, so why not talk about it? Why not have a discussion? You might learn something from someone who has been there or knows someone who has been there and that information might help you prevent infidelity from happening to you, or it may help you from doing something stupid like committing a murder/suicide in the event that infidelity happens to you. But you’ll never know if all you want to do is yell, “Just Say No!” and then shut the conversation down.

All I see when I see someone mention “Never sleep with a married woman,” and they don’t follow it up with something practical and pragmatic, but they follow it up with morality, their morality, is a guy saying, “I don’t have sex with married women because I’m a good guy and my way is the right way and if you don’t do it my way, well, then you are a bad person and you’re doing it the wrong way.” That’s not very helpful to me.

At least I would tell a guy, “Hey man, you could get killed if you get caught. You sure you want to go there?”

“Trevor” And Single Mom’s

I wrote about “Trevor” awhile ago.

Well, he’s “back” and with more updates.

A little backstory though:

“Trevor” turned 29 this year and his blushing bride is 28. They got married on September 15th of this year as you can see in the photo above. She’s a bit on the “chunky” side. Oh and she already has a 3 year old son. And she wants more kids.

“Trevor” went out on route with me today, that’s how I know his and her age, that she was a single mom, that she wants more kids, oh and they are having “financial difficulties” already.

I’m not terribly surprised about the financial stuff. “Trevor” has made a series of mistakes when it comes to his finances and his purchases over the past four years that I have known him. Let’s just say that he’s up to his eyeballs in debt. I can only imagine what her financial situation is.

I do know, from the mouth of “Trevor,” that he makes significantly more than she does, and that they are drowning financially at the moment. They have barely been married a month and are already having disputes and arguments over money. He’s trying to pay the bills, she wants to spend money that they don’t have doing “something fun.”

“Trevor” told me while on route that he and his wife had an argument over money earlier this week and that she’s pissed at him. “I guess we’ll just never do anything fun.” This is what he told me that she said to him. I can only imagine the attitude and tonality that went with it.

“Trevor” has been married barely a month and he’s already starting to regret it. It took me at least a couple of years before I started doubting my marriage, and look what happened there. And yes, it was primarily over money.

“Trevor” isn’t a bad looking guy. Yes, he’s a “thin-skinned man,” like I said in my prior post about him, but I think he means well for the most part. The problem is, he doesn’t see that he has options. Why else would he marry an overweight single mother?

Why would any man marry a single mother unless they don’t think that they have any other options? I’m not attacking or shitting on single mothers, but I can’t think of any real reason why a man who has options would choose that option.

All of the guys that I know personally that chose to marry a single mother couldn’t see that they had any other options. And most of them still don’t see it. Some of them have gone so long that they don’t really have any other options at this point in their lives, and so begins or continues their lives of “quiet desperation.”

When I got married back in 2009, I was one of those guys. I didn’t think or see that I had any other options, and so I “did what everyone did because that’s what you do,” and I married a single mother. It was a slow, silent descent into my own personal hell that I had created for myself. I loved her for “what was on the inside, because looks fade.” “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” right?

Except, “what about what really, truly mattered to me?” What about my and our financial situation? What about what actually turned me on? What about my life and my own happiness? Those were questions at that time that I had never asked myself, and no one else ever bothered to ask me about them either.

The first couple of years of my marriage were good, and then just okay, and ultimately I wanted out, any way that I could, up to and including, death. So I got divorced instead of taking my own life because I knew that I had more living to do. The slow death of my life, one day at a time, wasn’t fast enough.

“Trevor” is going to go down that same road most likely. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. And he just got married a month ago. I guess the honeymoon is already over. Is he done fucking his life up yet? I don’t know, but I doubt it. I imagine that he and his blushing bride will have a child of their own in the near future, and then “Trevor” will be truly fucked, at least for a while.

I don’t have a problem with single moms as I have said on podcasts and livestreams. Some of the best sex of my life came from single moms. And let’s be honest shall we? Let’s look at the positive side of dating and fucking a single mother:

  1. They have fucked in the past and most likely enjoyed it. The proof of their “deed” is one or more bundles of joy that you may or may not have to interact with.
  2. They are busy and their time is limited. That means that they aren’t necessarily calling, texting, or taking up too much of your time as they are busy with raising their children, dealing with work, and have lives of their own.
  3. They seldom flake. At least that has been my experience. Since their time is limited, they tend not to squander it. But then again, your mileage may vary.

That all being said, and yes, it’s a rather short list now that I look at it, I would never marry or cohabitate with a single mother again. I would never commit to monogamy with one again. Been there, done that.

I have seen the “guys shitting on single mom’s” on the internet again. What is old is new. I guess I’m throwing my own two cents in on the matter and adding to the dogpile now. I don’t like the idea that I’m “shitting on them,” because I don’t think that I am.

I’m just being honest. I wouldn’t commit to, cohabitate, and I would definitely never marry a single mother again.

Will the single mother’s “out there” find someone that they can call their own? I’m sure that the great majority of them will. There’s always a man out there who doesn’t see his own worth and value that will happily take up the yoke of provisioning and providing. There’s always a “dutiful beta” waiting in the wings. Rest assured, single mothers’, you’ll be fine.

But I do wonder if he’ll end up being what it is that you are truly looking for? Or will the cycle just keep going for you? (AF/BB) It’s a rhetorical question that I’m asking, of course.

The honest and truthful answer is that the cycle will continue without end, amen.

What am I going to about “Trevor?” Absolutely nothing. He gets to burn. It’s his hole that he has dug for himself and he gets to dig himself out of it if he so desires. I simply told him, “Congratulations on your marriage, I wish you both the best.” And I meant it. I do wish both of them the best. I just don’t see that happening, but then again, stranger things have happened.

And when “Trevor” told me about their already strained disputes, all I could think of to say was, “I’m sorry to hear that man, that sucks.” And I meant that too. It does suck. But it’s not my problem.