Also Known As:

The argument about cheating.

It’s making the rounds. Again.

Here’s the thing:

I’m not here to argue about whether cheating is ethical or moral, if it is good or bad. I’m here to say that it is a viable option in meeting your needs if your needs aren’t being met at home for whatever reason.

All my life, I have been told to “step up.” Put others needs before my own. Do the right thing. And I did exactly that for years. I ended up miserable and suicidal. Nobody asked me what I wanted. Nobody cared about what I wanted.

Sacrifice is your job. Up to and including sacrificing your life if necessary.

Men are expendable. Disposable even.

Nobody asked or cared about what I wanted, it didn’t matter. What mattered was what I could do for them.

And by “them,” I mean your family, children, spouse, and even society as a whole. “The Greater Good.”

The “Greater Good” comes at a cost, it has a price tag. That price tag is you and what you want and desire.

Since no one ever asked me what I wanted, I had to ask myself that question. Turns out I want a lot of things in life. Most of them are going to come into direct conflict with what other people want. This is where I realized that I had to be okay with being the villain. This is where I realized that no one was coming to save me. I am expendable and disposable, why would anyone come to save me?

It was my job to sacrifice myself upon the Altar of the Greater Good, why would anyone come to save me? It was my obligation to put other people and their needs before my own, why would they come to save me?

In fact, when I even bother mentioning my wants, needs, and desires, I get shouted at and shut down. How dare I have wants, needs, and desires?! What a selfish prick!

So I decided that I only have this one life, and it’s entirely my own.

And since doing the “right thing” only brought me pain and misery, I decided to do what I wanted instead.

Turns out that was the correct choice for me. Now mind you, doing what I want to do is still going to be seen as “degenerate,” selfish, “evil,” sexist, misogynistic, narcissistic, “satanic,” weak, soft, cowardly, low, vile, dishonourable, devious, deviant, and just plain old “bad” and “wrong.”

All of those words that I just mentioned I have been called before and I’m sure I’ll be called those things again.

It’s guilt and shame tactics, nothing more. It’s someone who is pissed that I’m not doing things their way for them.

It’s me not getting back on the plantation. It’s me not “manning up” and “stepping up.”

The thing is, I don’t care.

I’m not here on this planet for what time I have left ahead of me to have a popularity contest. I’m here for me and what I want.

“You need to be a leader! In your house and in your job!”

Don’t tell me what I need to be.

That’s just another euphemism to saddle me down and get me back on the plantation.

Yes, women may in fact need to be led, but it’s nothing more than an invitation from me.

Yes, I can lead, but if we aren’t dancing the same dance, or dancing to the same tune, I’m under no moral, ethical, or legal obligation to keep dancing.

I’m not Atlas. I’m not here to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

It’s not my responsibility.

Her actions are not my responsibility.

How I make her feel may be on me, to a very limited degree, insofar as is it getting me closer or further away from what I want, but even then, how someone feels based on what I say or do is still on them ultimately.

So a woman can accept my hand and my invitation and I will guide her in the Dance. Or she can step on my feet, dance to a different tune, and I’ll gracefully tell her adieu.

Her actions and behaviors are not my responsibility or obligation.

She either has agency or she doesn’t, and if she doesn’t, she’s not my problem to solve. I am not her chaperone and nor do I want to be. She gets to burn too.

I am not here to make her do anything. I am not here to lead her. I am not accountable for her. She can take my hand or not, nothing more. She either comes along willingly or she needs to be led.

There’s a difference.

And speaking of women and leadership, let’s tackle this one briefly:

To which I said, “There’s always another woman.”

If I need to game my wife/LTR to have sex with me, well I better learn some game. LOL

That’s scarcity mentality right there.

Here’s a little secret:

When you realize, truly realize that there are over 4 billion women on the planet, and you’ll never get through them all, why does any one particular woman matter so much that you’ll jump through hoops to have her?

Game is nothing more than social acumen. It’s the ability to read a room, “When in Rome, do as the Romans,” and the ability to have a conversation with the ability to escalate towards sex (flirting.) That’s it. Now, it’s simple, but not necessarily easy. If you can’t talk to guys, you’re not going to be able to talk to women.

So if she’s not “down to fuck,” whether she’s a woman that I just met, my long term girlfriend, or my wife, I guarantee you that there’s a woman out there who is. I actually said that outloud, a long time ago, to a girlfriend: “You don’t want to fuck me? That’s okay. I’ll just find someone who will.” It wasn’t a threat or even a promise. It was me simply stating a fact. And while I have had many short term relationships, several one night stands, a marriage, and 3 long term relationships (over a year minimum each,) and while it hurts to see them go, I know there is always another woman, and with today’s technology, they are closer than you think.

Something that Nuclear Caudillo (@CaudilloNuclear on Twitter) said the other night to Jack Napier and me:

“I am a bad man.”

He was referencing a show that he had gone on and the rest of the panel started to gang up on him. Instead of DEERing and getting defensive, he told them that he was a “bad man.” It took the wind out of their sails. He owned it and admitted to it. “Yes, I agree with you. Now what?”

Guys, I am a bad man, too.

I am not your guru. I am not a leader of men. I am not a father. I make a lousy husband. I make a shitty boyfriend. I have a wandering eye. I want to fuck all sorts of women because they are there and because I can and because I like “strange.” I am not a role model for you. If anything, I am a lesson. If you decide to do what I do or what I have done, caveat emptor. Your mileage will vary.

Then again, I couldn’t be happier and more content with what I have done and what I am doing. If I die tomorrow, I have no regrets (other than not fucking a few women that I knew I could have fucked.) I have lived a full life and while it took me a while to get there, I have lived my life on my terms. So yes, I am a bad man. I’m a Villain.

To quote Nuke once more, who was quoting Genghis Khan:

“I am God’s punishment.”

That’s me. That’s it.

I am the Tyranny of Evil Men:

I am the Devil, and I am here to do the Devil’s Work.

There is no “Brotherhood” coming to save me. Just more guys telling me to “man up” and do what they want. The only thing worse than having no “code” for yourself is living by another person’s code.

Cheating is a viable option, as I said earlier.

Many will argue, “Don’t cheat, just leave!” Yeah, there’s a code in there.

It’s more “honorable” to be honest and leave, than it is to cheat.

That way you’re not a lying, dirty cheater, you’re just a guy who lost his home, his kids, his income, and in many ways, his life.

All because your wife no longer wanted to fuck you for whatever reason, but you took the honorable route and sat on your hands, living a life of quiet desperation, sneaking in a bit of occasional porn when it got to be too much, and then you resented her and took it out on her and the kids.

Oh, and let’s add in a healthy dose of guilt and shame that your community and church instilled in you because you touched your dick while looking at internet hoes.

Now if you do decide to “handle your problem,” there’s something you need to keep in mind.

No one is coming to save you.

You are expendable. You are disposable.

If you figure out what it is and what you want, people will shout you down and demonize you for wanting it and going after it. People will disown you and hate you. People will call you every name under the sun and create new one’s that you’ve never heard before.

People will do everything in their power to get you “back in line.”

The question is, will you get back in line?

Go back to your life of quiet desperation?

Or will you do something else?

The choice has always been and will always be, yours.