It was that last Saturday of the month and some of my clients were graduating and so we took the time to step away from fitness for a moment and talk about out favorite past time event.

Girls.

The month of April was absolutely brutal for me.

Ghosting, rejection, being ignored and even downright insulted sometimes.

But of course I refuse to yield.

The guys and I were swapping notes about our experiences in April and 2 out of the 4 clients were in an LTR, one together with myself was single and one was considering an ltr with a favorable prospect.

And at a certain point we agreed the frustration rejection brings, but then I realized that with that rejection your approach can and probably will get worse if you’re not aware of it because of the frustration it brings.

Rejection leads to frustration leads to neediness leads to rejection.

You get rejected because you’re used to rejection.

Napier, the fuck you going on about?!

Hear me out.

Your approaches are influenced by your experience, whether these be good or bad and the more bad approaches you’ve had in the recent past the more negative your thought process will be.

This is WHY abundance mindset is so important.

When you come from that mental state of abundance and outcome independence your approach is more carefree, more flowing more ‘zen’ if you will.

You don’t NEED the win.

You WANT it, but are fine nonetheless.

“Smiling, Young Sparrow, always smiling” -Obi Rob Kenobi

There is a scene in Beserk that stuck with me ever since I saw it.

No it’s not that one…

Of all the scene’s in the entire 1997 version of Beserk it’s the vision Griffith has just before one of the most horrifying moments ever put to the animated screen that I keep remembering.

It’s the scene where Griffith wonders ‘what if’.

What if he had just settled with Casca and had be happy with a ‘normal’ but peaceful life with her instead of chasing his dream of having his own kingdom?

What IF he hadn’t sacrificed all those lives for his ‘dream’ and saw what was right in front of him?

Would he have been happy, would he have been content, would he have peace and would he even have wondered ‘what if’?

If you’ve been playing the field I dare to say you’ve been there as well.

And I’ll dare to add to that you’ve had a couple of girls who were pleasant, enthusiastic, hot and willing but you didn’t pursue cause you ‘wanted to have more’.

A higher notch count.

More experience.

You wanted to earn your wings.

And then later on you look back.

What if you had settled with that girl who was nice, texted you, traveled towards you and was more than happy to bend over backwards to meet your needs? Literally.

You look back on the endless pile of nameless faces and wonder if all of it was required to get where you wanted to be.

Part II

The way is forward.

For stagnation is death.

I made this into a separate part because in our little band of brothers there are few but solid rules.

One of not telling a man what to think but how to think.

I can’t tell you if it was worth it for you or not.

I can’t tell you if you should have settled, if you missed your one shot at happiness or if that’s old order thinking that made you find this place or not.

I can only tell you my perspective on my situation and admit I have had these thoughts and then it might resonate with you.

But I can not give you answers.

Every now and then during a dry-spell I have episodes of reflecting on previous situations, how they ended and how and if they could have continued.

But the issue is that this happens during a dry-spell.

Instead of lingering in what used to be the focus should only be on what lessons I can get out of them to re-create and improve the situation.

Reflect and observe not regret and linger.

Not to replicate the exact same one only for it to end of the exact same way.

It is better to leave the trash where it stands otherwise everyone and their neighbor will see you take back the dirt inside.

If the situation really was that great, I would have stayed in it or she wouldn’t have ended it.

If I wanted to have stayed with someone I wouldn’t have felt the need to rack up the numbers.

I moved on for a reason.

I got wings.

Let’s take a gander at a clip that is going around on the internet at the moment. Don’t worry, I cut it to the important part, the lesson for you, the watcher.

“Everything I told you in that pod..was real.”

When a woman tells me she loves me, I believe it. Why? Because at the time she is telling me that, she believes it. I know that I could hook her up to a polygraph machine and “no lie detected” would come out the other end. It’s because in that moment, at that time, it was the truth. “Her truth,” if you will.

That is why I added the screenshot at the beginning of this post. Nick August laughed and said, “I meant it when I said it.” And that is exactly what I’m writing about and it’s exactly what that video clip that I shortened up is about. You’ll notice I added my own two cents to Nick’s original tweet.

“For now.” “Right now.”

“I love you, Rob. (Right now.)”

“I want to spend time with you, Rob. (For now.)”

“You are the guy I have been looking for my entire life, Rob. (Right now and for now.)”

I have said it before in the past, there’s no permanency.

When you can internalize that the woman in front of you, telling you that she wants to marry you and that she wants to be with you for the rest of her life, is telling you the truth right in the moment, but that’s no guarantee of tomorrow, or the next day, let alone the rest of your life, and you can be okay with knowing that what she means is “right now,” then you’ll be fine.

You’ll really understand the phrase, “She’s Not Yours, It’s Just Your Turn.”

When I first encountered that phrase, it was a hard, bitter pill to swallow. That’s because I was still stuck on the idea of permanency. I also assumed incorrectly, that when a woman would tell me something, I took it at face value like a man does when speaking to another man. If I tell you something, I mean it, and I don’t just mean it for the moment that it came from my lips. If and when I give my “word,” it’s my bond. You can count on it and take it to the bank. Women don’t operate like that. It doesn’t mean that they are liars and are completely untrustworthy, it just means that you need to take what they say with a grain of salt most of the time.

When you figure out, “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn,” and you realize that there truly is no permanency, and you then realize that “there’s always another woman,” you get to do pretty much whatever you want. It’ll “set you free.” You won’t be angry about it, you won’t be bitter about it, and you’ll realize that none of it matters for the most part, and you’ll be able to enjoy yourself and the people around you, in that moment.