A woman never belongs to you, it’s just your turn. – Donovan Sharpe
Does a man ever truly finish unplugging? Is there a final destination to this journey? I don’t know.
I do know that one of the hardest truths that I’ve had the hardest time with is the one that I quoted above. A woman never belongs to you, it’s just your turn. The old blue pill me bought the lie that I could somehow “own” or “possess” a woman. That she would be mine. Never mind the part about sliding into marital bliss and having the burden of performance removed. I’ve never bought into the bliss thing, and I don’t mind the burden of performance. As far as I’m concerned, the burden of performance isn’t really that big of a burden to me, since all the shit I do now is for me, not for someone else. The burden is on me, for me.
I understand now that men are the romantics and the idealists. We are the one’s who would sacrifice our everything for a woman, including our lives. It just sucks to know, really know, that she isn’t capable of doing that for us, or in this case, for me. The possibility that she will walk at a moment’s notice because she perceives that she has found “something better,” is a constant blip on my radar. It plays in the background with every interaction I have. It’s a constant reminder of when Hypergamy rears it’s ugly head, and of course, that there is no such thing as relational equity.
I admit, I’ve struggled with a lot that the red pill has offered me, but this one right now has been the hardest. Do you go all MGTOW and say fuck them all, I want nothing to do with them? I could. But I won’t.
Do I just spin plates for the rest of my life? That’s a possibility.
Do I get more seriously involved with just one, knowing that I’m not her first (for anything really) and that I definitely won’t be her last?
One thing I can say about this last one is this:
While you may go, beautiful woman, and it’ll probably hurt a lot when you go, I’ll enjoy watching your ass move as you walk away.
Thanks for the good times and the memories.