There is a scene in Beserk that stuck with me ever since I saw it.

No it’s not that one…

Of all the scene’s in the entire 1997 version of Beserk it’s the vision Griffith has just before one of the most horrifying moments ever put to the animated screen that I keep remembering.

It’s the scene where Griffith wonders ‘what if’.

What if he had just settled with Casca and had be happy with a ‘normal’ but peaceful life with her instead of chasing his dream of having his own kingdom?

What IF he hadn’t sacrificed all those lives for his ‘dream’ and saw what was right in front of him?

Would he have been happy, would he have been content, would he have peace and would he even have wondered ‘what if’?

If you’ve been playing the field I dare to say you’ve been there as well.

And I’ll dare to add to that you’ve had a couple of girls who were pleasant, enthusiastic, hot and willing but you didn’t pursue cause you ‘wanted to have more’.

A higher notch count.

More experience.

You wanted to earn your wings.

And then later on you look back.

What if you had settled with that girl who was nice, texted you, traveled towards you and was more than happy to bend over backwards to meet your needs? Literally.

You look back on the endless pile of nameless faces and wonder if all of it was required to get where you wanted to be.

Part II

The way is forward.

For stagnation is death.

I made this into a separate part because in our little band of brothers there are few but solid rules.

One of not telling a man what to think but how to think.

I can’t tell you if it was worth it for you or not.

I can’t tell you if you should have settled, if you missed your one shot at happiness or if that’s old order thinking that made you find this place or not.

I can only tell you my perspective on my situation and admit I have had these thoughts and then it might resonate with you.

But I can not give you answers.

Every now and then during a dry-spell I have episodes of reflecting on previous situations, how they ended and how and if they could have continued.

But the issue is that this happens during a dry-spell.

Instead of lingering in what used to be the focus should only be on what lessons I can get out of them to re-create and improve the situation.

Reflect and observe not regret and linger.

Not to replicate the exact same one only for it to end of the exact same way.

It is better to leave the trash where it stands otherwise everyone and their neighbor will see you take back the dirt inside.

If the situation really was that great, I would have stayed in it or she wouldn’t have ended it.

If I wanted to have stayed with someone I wouldn’t have felt the need to rack up the numbers.

I moved on for a reason.

I got wings.