Men, Women, And Sex (Drive.)

What is all that highlighted text of a study saying?

Blah, blah, men have a higher sex drive than women do.

Like I said when I quoted this study on Twitter: “In other news, water is wet, and the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.”

Big deal Rob, no shit. What’s your point?

My point is that men and women are different.

Women typically do not have the same sex drive as men. They don’t think about sex as much or as often as we do. They don’t have the same desire for sex that we do. They can go longer without it than we can.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but “Kate” (@deadandsushi) on Twitter has a point and I happen to agree with her on this particular subject. Why? Because I have seen and heard this point of view from multiple women over the years. Here’s a gallery of tweets that “Kate” made on this particular subject:

One of the more recent times in my past when I heard a woman talking about going years, not days, not weeks, not months, but years without having sex, was when I first started seeing Kitten. When we met up in late 2019 and into early 2020, I remember when we first had sex, she told me that it had been five years since she had had sex.

It blew my mind.

Initially, I thought she was just fucking with me. She is, and was, a good looking woman. She’s in shape, she takes care of herself, she’s vibrant and energetic. How could she NOT be having sex? And not for the last five years?

But wait! There’s more!

When I met the Girl Who Likes Pain in 2021, she too confessed that she had not had sex in over two years. And she’s much younger than me. She was 33 when I met her.

Then there was the Irish Girl that met back in July and took her home after a couple of drinks. Sure, she ended up only being with me for one night, but she too, confessed that she hadn’t had sex in a couple of years.

A Mexican woman I had met in 2019 had said it had been over a year since she had sex.

Teriyaki had gone several months of not having sex before she met me.

And then there’s my belly dancer.

She had gone over two years before she met me.

Do you see a pattern here?

Are all of these women lying? If so, why? These were all confessions that were made to me early on. First meet ups, first time having sex, first conversations, you name it. I was a stranger to them at the time. I was nobody significant in their lives. These were confessions that I didn’t elicit. I didn’t ask them, “So…When’s the last time you had sex? (Before me?)” These confessions came up organically.

I can either assume that all of these women (and more) are lying to me, or that they are in fact, being honest.

If it’s “me against the world,” then maybe I’m the problem, not them.

Or if I choose to think that they are in fact, being honest, then sex isn’t as “big a deal” for women as it is for men.

Think about it:

Men like sex, and yes, women like sex too.

But we think about it way more often than most women do. We fantasize about it, we write songs, poetry, and literature about it. We even dedicate YouTube channels and videos and forums and books and paintings and pornography and literature to it.

Women typically don’t.

Why is that?

If women are “monkey branching,” and hiding their “slut status,” and their “body count” constantly, why aren’t there more of all of the above made by women and dedicated to women? Especially in today’s day and age? There’s always outliers, I get that. Put a woman on testosterone and jack it up to a man’s level and she becomes a “cock craven horny motherfucker.” Just like us.

But don’t do that, and….

I’ve heard of women getting testosterone for a variety of reasons and almost every single time, I hear them saying something to the effect of:

“Now I understand. (Or have a better understanding.) I don’t know how you guys (men) do it. Constantly thinking about sex, wanting to have sex. I don’t know how you get things done.”

Every time a woman confessed to me that she hadn’t had sex in (insert whatever time period here) it blew me away. Especially when it came to the years “category.” The longest I have ever gone without having sex is a little over a year, and that was back when I was in my early 20’s. Since that time, it’s been far less between partners for me. The last time I had a “drought,” was after my ex-girlfriend left. I took about 4 months “off” while I was dealing with my grief from the end of that relationship and the death of my mother. Since that time, I have had sex on a consistent basis, as in at least one or more partners a month, on average. There’s no way I could go over a year without having it, but that’s me.

What is my point with all of this? Why bother writing a post and showing screenshots?

It’s because it’s a reminder that men and women are different.

Yes, women by default, are going to have a “higher notch count” than you or me. Get over it. Get used to that. That’s because, “women use sex to find love,” and they are the “gatekeepers to sex.” And let’s be honest: we (men) are opportunists. We’ll fuck damn near anything.

This doesn’t mean that she’s “cock thirsty,” like you and I are “pussy thirsty.” The average woman doesn’t think about or desire sex like the average man does. She’s not constantly seeking out new cock. She’s not “racking up bodies by the billions” as some of you guys think. Just because we will fuck damn near anything and everything, doesn’t mean she will.

When you see a guy saying something on the internet about women and their “notch,” or their sexual behavior, pause for a moment and consider this:

He’s projecting.

He’s projecting his sex drive onto her. He’s projecting his fantasies and fears onto her.

Keep that in mind.

I’m not saying this “in defense of the wahmen.” I’m definitely not “White Knighting.”

I’m saying this to “keep it real.” She’s not out fucking nearly as often as you or I would or could, so don’t project your sex drive onto her. Don’t drive yourself nuts over what you would do if the “shoe was on the other foot.” Just because you would go out and fuck anything and everything that moves, and as far as I’m concerned, you should, doesn’t mean that she is out fucking anything and everything that moves.

One thought on “Men, Women, And Sex (Drive.)

  1. Neat mental model here.

    Lets suppose we are inherently solipsistic (since we don’t have the ability to read minds) and we are hammered with blank slate equalism all our lives. No wonder how men projecting their sex drive onto women became the standard.

    I can add a data point confirming this is the case. I often torture myself projecting my own needs into my ex.

    Liked by 1 person

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