Guys, I’m going to say something that might be considered anathema and controversial, but here goes.

There is no gender war. The only gender war that I’m seeing is on social media and in various media outlets. If all you do is consume what’s on the internet and on the television, of course there’s a gender war. When I go out at night, when I’m out and about doing my job, when I’m out grocery shopping or running errands, I don’t see a gender war anywhere around me.

I went out the other night to a couple different nightspots. I saw a handful of dudes and a bunch of women at one, and I saw about a 50-50 ratio of men to women at the other location. No gender war in sight. All I saw was a bunch of people having a good time dancing and drinking and mingling with one another. No toxic masculinity, no SJW’s on parade bitching about being oppressed. Just men and women enjoying their evenings with one another.

Does the gender war actually exist? I’m sure it does. At least in theory or on paper. It’s psychological warfare meant to divide and conquer. If you are getting sucked into it, guess what? You are the target at that point. Whoever is putting out this message is trying to divide you from other’s. Recognize it for what it is. It’s Wag The Dog writ large and in real time. Can you actually do something about it? Can you change it? Is it actually useful to you?

As Rian Stone put it, “Be Attractive, Don’t Be Unattractive.” How is getting fired up about a gender war attractive? Is getting fired up about “toxic masculinity” attractive? Is getting pissed off about some hit piece on some obscure website, written by some unattractive, outraged woman attractive, or unattractive? Is it useful to you? Besides the dopamine hit and being able to simmer in your own juices, does it do anything for you?

I’m all for a man or a woman being able to feed off their own emotions, god knows, I’ve done a lot of that over the years, but is it attractive or unattractive? Does it get you to do something useful for you? Or is it a form of masturbation and release? Are you becoming more attractive, or just jerking off?

I keep looking for the gender war around me and I keep missing it I guess. I’m not finding it. I see a lot of confused people trying to figure themselves and each other out and how they fit together in our world, but that’s been going on since I can remember. Not much has changed there.

I actually feel sorry for women today. Most of the garbage that is out there, claiming there is a gender war going on, was written by women for women. They are poisoning their own well, and then drinking it to boot. The women who stumble across it are stopping and having a big old drink of it and fucking themselves up even more than before. God help them. Oh well, I’ve said it before, and here it is again, they have to burn.

I think we as Men are too much in our heads most of the time. We overthink things and make them way more complicated than they need to be.

“This woman slid up to me and is grinding on me…What do I do? What do I say? I need to play it cool. I need to be calm and think straight. What if I put my arms around her and pull her in? What if she doesn’t like that? What if she doesn’t want that? Oh god, I don’t want her to think…Wait…She’s leaving! Dammit! I should have….”

Get out of your heads my Brothers. Get out of your heads and back into your bodies. Don’t think, just act. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

There’s no gender war. At least not in the streets that I occupy. Not in the space that I inhabit. Just men and women doing their thing.  I guess that none of them got the memo that there is a gender war going on. And man, those women? They are friendly as hell and looking for a little company, even if it’s only for a few moments.

Drop a few kind words. Crack a joke. Tease her just a little bit. Smile at her. That’s attractive. Or stay locked in your gender war, getting pissed off over imaginary boogeymen that you can’t do anything about anyways. The choice as always, is yours. You get to burn. Don’t worry though, I’ll be watching, eating popcorn, and laughing my ass off. And once you put that fire out, I’ll ask you just one question:

“How’s that working out for ya, bud?”

There is no spoon. There is no gender war. There is just being attractive or being unattractive. Choose.

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