Tag: relationships

Burnout.

Rob Says2 Comments
man reading burning newspaper
Every Time I Open Twitter.

The longer I stay on Twitter, the more I scroll, the more outrage I see. More and more, there is a “gender war.” Lately it’s coming from “our side.” It’s almost as bad as feminists when they go off about men.

If you haven’t noticed, especially here on my blog, I’m trying to steer clear of all of that. If you follow everything going on in the ‘Sphere and take it as gospel, then there’s no point in getting involved with women, because all they are going to do is cheat on you, take half or more of your assets, and “branch swing” on over to Chad Thundercock.

If you listen to a lot of the voices in the ‘Sphere, there’s a huge amount of women that are BPD, they are all gold-diggers, they will get knocked up by Chad and then try and pass that offspring off as yours.

And of course, every single one of these things will be your fault. Because you didn’t do the work, you didn’t lift, you didn’t eat meat, you didn’t wake up at 4 am and drink a pot of black coffee while taking a cold shower, and god forbid, you asked her a question and wanted her input about food or something; you just lost your frame. Since you don’t drive anything better than a lambo, you might as well fucking forget it.

It’s turning into fucked up guys screaming that you are a fucked up guy.

Sure the family court system is rigged against you. Sure, she could go feral, divorce rape you, take half your shit, and take your kids from you, leaving you to be nothing more than an ATM for her shopping trips. I know it happens.

Just because she could, doesn’t necessarily mean she will though. For every horrific divorce or break up that you hear about, you never hear about the divorces or break up’s where both parties parted amicably. You hardly hear about the relationships that are working out just fine, and no, these ain’t your gram’s and gramp’s relationships that have been going strong since the Stone Age. I’m talking about the 4 year relationships or the 9 year relationships. Relationships that have started during the rise of the internet or even after it.

Why is that? Because that shit doesn’t sell. That shit doesn’t get views or clicks.

“Hey Terry, how’s that relationship with Barbara working out?”

“Great Fred! We’ve been going strong now for about 6 years.”

“Well that’s just great Terry! Talk to you later.”

If guys approached each other in real life like they do online, it would look like inmates from the insane asylum had broken out.

“Billy! You know that girl you are seeing is a single mom right? She fucked up and got knocked up by Chad Thundercock and had his kid! She probably is looking for you to be her Beta Bucks! Be careful though man, those single mom’s will cheat on you with Chad’s brother Chet, and she’ll probably get knocked up by him and try to pass that bastard offspring off as yours!”

I thought the Red Pill was about understanding women’s natures, realizing that they are different than us. Different and complimentary. Not this hate shit I’m seeing all over the place.

When I filed for divorce from my ex-wife back in 2015, she could have fought me and been a bitter bitch about it. Guess what? She didn’t. She signed the papers and let me get on with my life.

When my ex-girlfriend decided she didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, she could have cleaned my house out and disappeared into the night. Guess what? She didn’t. We parted on good terms.

When either I or several of the women that I’ve been seeing over this last year realized that things weren’t working out the way that we wanted, guess what? We ended things like adults. No harm, no foul, no hard feelings. It just didn’t work is all. No drama, no threats, no bullshit. Either I called it quits or they did, but it was no big deal.

Same with many of the guys that I talk to and deal with on a regular basis in the real world. When their relationships ended for whatever reason, both parties took it on the chin and left like adults. It was so common and so un-spectacular, it was actually kind of boring.

But that’s not the majority of the talk in the ‘Sphere these days. These days it’s about the outliers becoming the average; becoming the norm. Not every woman you meet is going to be BPD. Not every woman you meet is going to be damaged goods just waiting for a paycheck, your paycheck. Not every woman has a 1000 Cock Stare. Not every woman is a complete irresponsible idiot.

It seems that with each passing day the ‘Sphere is becoming more and more polarized. It’s becoming more and more “Us vs Them.” Just like feminism. Only now it’s guys sulking and pouting and throwing their own temper tantrums and taking their ball and going home because “the game is rigged.”

I understand when a guy gets blown out of the water by a woman and his whole life gets turned upside down. I’ve been there. The hurt and the anger are real, and up to a point, they are justified. At some point you have to let that shit go and get on with your life though. Be angry for a minute for sure, but then move past it. Your hurt and anger are only a crossroads, not a final destination.

This is why I don’t get caught up in the outrage anymore, from either side. It’s not productive, at least for me. I’ve heard all the bullshit a hundred times over. Same shit, different guy. It doesn’t work for me anymore. I don’t care.

In a lot of ways, getting on to social media is no better or no different from watching the MSM. All gloom and doom. All blood and gore. All high drama and outrage. It’s all bullshit.

I saw a meme recently that said, “We used to use the internet as a way to escape the real world, now we are using the real world to escape the internet.” Something like that. It’s true though. I get on social media and see the latest outrage and then I go outside and see that there still is no spoon. Hell, I’m open-minded enough. I go looking for this outrage on the streets and wherever it is that people congregate, and I’m still not seeing it, no matter how hard I try.

Guys, stopping drinking the Kool-Aid and get off the internet for awhile, and get out of your homes for a few hours. Clear the shit from your heads.

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The Relationship That I Don’t Want

Rob SaysLeave a comment

photo of couple hugging during dawn

I’m not sure if I wrote about this particular topic or not, so I went back and revisited some of my old posts, mostly around the time that my Mother died. I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I’m going to go over it here. If you guys out there reading this have seen this before, my apologies for rehashing old news. (Oh, and if I did go over it, drop me a comment pointing me to where I talked about this, thanks in advance.)

Right after my Mother died, my Father and I had a real genuine, man-to-man talk about his and her relationship. He shed some light on it for me that was truly eye opening. I had imagined that they were together out of “true love.” Not that bullshit, blue-pill “The One Soul Mate” shit that’s part of well, everything, but that they genuinely really loved each other.

Turns out that wasn’t the case. My Mom divorced my Dad when I was around eight years old or so, and long story short, they got back together when I was eighteen and remarried each other when I was twenty or twenty one. They were by each other’s side until the day she died. That’s where I figured that they really loved one another. Don’t get me wrong, I know they loved each other, but as my Dad told me:

“There was no love lost between me and your Mother.”

“Why did you stay with her then?”

“Because it was cheaper to keep her.”

Those are exact quotes.

Because it was cheaper to keep her. My Dad was more concerned about his “stuff,” his possessions than truly living his life on his own terms. I don’t fault my Dad. He’s a baby boomer that has pretty much drank all of the Kool-Aid when it comes to life.

Those words keep ringing in my ears. It was cheaper to keep her.

My Dad now has another relationship with another woman, and she’s a good woman. They seem to get along pretty well and both seem content with one another. I’m happy for the both of them. And yet, what I’m seeing is my Dad recreating the same relationship that he had with my Mother. This woman is…Okay. I think my Dad has a scarcity mentality going on. Maybe it’s his age. Maybe it’s his generation, I don’t know.

All I do know is that I don’t want the relationship that he has and that he had. If that is what life is truly about, if that is what relationships are truly about, then I want nothing to do with them. I would rather be alone. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than live like that.

The thing is, I know that’s not how life is and that relationships have to be that way, they don’t have to be that way because I’m living it, I’m living proof that there is “another way.” He’s even met two of my girls. He has witnessed “how I roll.” And over the last year, I’ve tried to gently explain all of this to my Dad. Consider it me dropping little red-pill nuggets on him from time to time when the discussion of his or my dating life comes up. He doesn’t want to hear it though, and that’s the hard part. I get to watch him burn.

Who am I to tell him what to do and how to live his life though? He’s happy enough with how his life is and with what he has, so I just smile and nod and go with the flow and let it go.

He thinks what I’m doing when it comes to “spinning plates” is absolutely crazy. He thinks I should date women my own age. He thinks a lot of outdated things when it comes to women and relationships. That’s okay though. He can think whatever he likes and I don’t mind when he offers me dating advice, even if it is quaint, out of date, and honestly, at least for me, just plain wrong. He can do him and I’ll do me.

Oh Dad, if only you could see what I see. If only you could see through my eyes. You might change your mind about damn near everything. But you can’t see through my eyes. You can’t read my mind. And the few times I’ve tried, you’ve turned a blind eye and a deaf ear on what I have said. That’s okay though Dad, I don’t fault you or blame you, you just get to burn is all. You do you, Dad, and I love you anyway.

Dad, you are so smart and so wise when it comes to many, many things. I thoroughly enjoy sitting with you, at the kitchen table, in the back yard, down in the basement, and at the car shows, listening to you dispense your wisdom about vehicles, home repair, even fixing meals. But I have to draw the line with you. I have to draw the line when it comes to women. Dad, I know I’m no “expert” when it comes to women, far from it. But I do know that I have more experience with women than you have or will ever have. Even if I swear off women today, right now, and never deal with them again, I know more about them than you ever will.

I know for a fact that I do not want the relationships that you have created for yourself when it comes to women. I won’t settle. I won’t. There’s too many of them out there. There’s just too damn many of them and not enough time. I may choose to see women of all age groups, including women in my own age group, but that will be because that is what I choose. Not because that is what I “should” do, or “ought” to do. I’ll follow my own path when it comes to women. It’s okay if you don’t understand why I’m doing what I’m doing, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you don’t press the issue, even if you think I’m absolutely crazy. Because I’m not, Dad. I’m not crazy. I know what I’m doing. Thank you for trusting me on how I choose to live my life, even if you don’t agree with me. It’s totally okay that we can agree to disagree.

I firmly believe that we create or find the relationships that we grow up watching. I know I did that for many years. What I saw that my parents had, well, that’s what relationships are about. That’s how they just are. But that’s not the case though. Not to sound like some “New Age” bullshit artist, but you really can create the relationships you want. You just have to have the balls to do it. You just have to literally take it.

You want kinky, horny women in your life? All women are like that. They really are. You just have to “expect” it. It’s just a normal part of life, a normal part of your life. If you think it’s possible and normal, then it is. If you think it’s all bullshit and not possible, you’ll be right on that one too. If you think women are goofy, fun spazzes, they are. If you think they are cold-hearted and “out to get you,” they are that too. They are and will become whatever you see and think about them. They “reflect” back you. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

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Which One Will You Feed?

Rob SaysLeave a comment
beige and gray wolf on the green grass
Which One Will You Feed?

Last week, I wrote a post about how there is No Spoon. I still stand by that post. I received a little flack for it, not nearly as much as I thought I was going to get, and overall, it seemed to be met with either indifference or with some acceptance. I want to further explore what I started out with in that post.

I said there is no gender war and I received plenty of links from other people claiming that there indeed was a gender war. Like I said before, sure the gender war is in the mainstream media and on social media, I have no doubts about that. There are plenty of articles, links, videos, and opinions claiming that there is a gender war. And I know from talking to people firsthand that they have been through the divorce machine/meat grinder. I too have been through divorce and fortunately for me, my divorce was a cake-walk compared to others. I know that in many states, locales, countries, etc that divorce, child support, alimony, etc is primarily geared towards women, and if by that definition you mean to say there is a gender war, you would be correct. I won’t argue with you there.

But the “gender war” is also in your minds. Just like mainstream media is telling you what to be aware of, and in many cases, what to be afraid of, social media is also doing the same thing. Do you want to live your life as an adversary to someone else simply because the laws and the courts are geared to favor them? I don’t advocate marriage for many of the same reasons that other’s don’t advocate marriage, it’s simply too big of a risk. At the same time, I’m not going to let a “gender war” stop me from enjoying the company of women. I’m not going to let a possible “#metoo” stop me from being around women, even in the workplace. Yes, I’ve wrote about #metoo in the past, and I still stand by what I’ve written. It’s mostly common sense knowledge, at least to me, so that you can avoid many of the pitfalls that can happen at your job.

I’m seeing a lot of Men on the internet throwing around a lot of information about how guys are getting fucked over by the courts, the laws, and even the government. I get it. I really do. I definitely went through an anger phase and even a bitter phase over it all when I first started unplugging. I think that’s a normal and natural part of the process. At some point though, you have to decide what you want to do after that initial shock, anger, bitterness, and even depression starts to wear off. Do you want to stay stuck in it? Do you want to keep reading and watching the outrage? Will that help you become the best version of you? Or do you want to do something else?

I’m all for awareness. It’s good to know what’s going on around you so that you can hopefully anticipate what’s coming up next. It’s good to know so that you can adapt and adjust as necessary. It’s good to know so that you don’t bury your head in the sand and think that “everything will be okay,” because sometimes everything won’t just be okay. But you also need to decide for yourselves when you’ve gotten what you needed from your awareness of what’s going on around you, and you decide to get on with life anyways, or in spite of it.

Is all the outrage putting you in a defensive position? Or is it helping you be the best version of you? You can live a life on the defense, or you can take chances and risks, and maybe you just might get something that well outweighs those risks.

This is what I mean by there is No Spoon. It’s a choice that you and I both make every day. Sure you can say there is a spoon, and there is. You can get locked up in it and immerse yourself in it. I did that for over a year. All it got me in the end was a lot of anger and misery, a lot of distrust towards people that I didn’t even know and hadn’t done anything to me except be people of another gender. I’m not going to hold women being women against them, the biggest reason is because I’m then denying myself the pleasure that they have to offer me. Sure they can go feral and cheat and manipulate, and all of that, I’m aware of it, I know the risks. But I’m going to go there and take chances anyways. Life is too short not to.

I think this is a great quote:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice:

“Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

My question to you is, which one do you feed?

Confirmation bias is a real thing. You will find whatever it is that you seek. You will not see what you don’t want to see. You will only see and hear what you want to see and hear.

Is there a spoon for you? Or is there no spoon?

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