The Hamburger Meat Moment

I Don’t Know About You, But This Makes Me Hungry

Rian Stone posted a link on Twitter the other day, it was called, “The Hamburger Meat Moment.” It’s actually a pretty good read for a few reasons. One of the reasons is that it appears, and I say appears, because we all know that there’s no such thing as “women on the internet,” that it was written by a woman.

It’s not often that I see a woman have a “moment of clarity” and be able to take some accountability for her actions, but it appears that is exactly what happened here. The woman nags her husband over buying the “wrong” kind of hamburger meat and she gets on his ass and then watches him shut down over it. Then the realization hits her. She brought that response on. Her nagging on him was the reason that he shut down:

I saw his face gradually take on an expression that I’d seen on him a lot in recent years. It was a combination of resignation and demoralization. He looked eerily like our son does when he gets chastised. That’s when it hit me. “Why am I doing this? I’m not his mom.”

Like I said a moment ago, it’s not been often, at least in my experience, that women can recognize and realize that something they said or did was what caused their husbands or boyfriends to respond the way they do. I give kudos to her for realizing this.

That’s not exactly why I’m writing about this though. I’m writing about this article because of how much it reminds me of my past life. Reading it was like going back in time. Back to when I was married and my now ex-wife would get on my ass about one thing or another.

There was two incidents in particular that stick out to me:

I remember one time, when she first moved in with me, she opened the dishwasher and saw that I put the forks, knives, and spoons with the handles down and the sharp ends up. That wouldn’t do for her. Don’t get me wrong, she was “nice” about it, but she made a big deal about it, stating something along the lines of “being a klutz” and that she could see herself sticking her hand in there and jabbing herself with either a knife or the prongs of a fork or two. From then on, the forks and knives were placed in the dishwasher with the “pointy ends” down. It wasn’t a big deal to me then, nor is it a big deal to me to this day. It is something I remember though. It was the beginning of things to come.

One of the last things that I remember my ex-wife getting on me about was “not having an opinion.” You need to understand something about my ex-wife, and maybe some of you can relate, but my ex had an opinion on everything. I’m not exaggerating when I say this. She had an opinion on anything and everything from the weather, to whatever celebrity was doing whatever with whomever, to religion, politics, sex, and money.

If you have gotten to know me in real life you’ll realize or know that I don’t give a fuck about damn near anything. It’s not that I’m not aware of things going on around me, because I am, it’s just that I don’t care about the majority of things unless they have a direct immediate impact on my life. If they don’t have that impact, or especially if there is nothing that I can do about it, I don’t give a fuck about whatever it is. It’s easier that way for me and I can then focus on the things that do affect and impact me. There’s only so many fucks to give.

I remember her asking me my opinion about whatever it was at the time, and I told her that I didn’t have an opinion about whatever it was. I didn’t care. I was totally indifferent to the subject that she was discussing. It didn’t impact my life in the slightest, so fuck it. She was astounded that I didn’t have an opinion on it. It totally blew her away. I remember me saying something along the lines of, “it’s not a big deal,” and “it doesn’t affect me.” It turned that conversation into an argument of sorts for about 10 minutes or so.

What did I do at the time? I checked out. That’s what our relationship became towards the end. Her harping and me turning a deaf ear to what she was saying and me ultimately checking out altogether.

I’m not saying this like I think she was a bad person or that I was a victim because neither of those things are true. She’s not a bad person and I was certainly no victim. I allowed it to happen to me because I never spoke up until I got a “gut full” and it was too late because I had had enough.

“What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says “we don’t respect you. We don’t think you’re smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you’ll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation.” Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he’s confident with himself and who he is, he’ll come to resent you. If he’s at all unsure about himself, he’ll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.”

“If he’s confident with himself and who he is, he’ll come to resent you.” That is completely accurate. That’s what happened in the case of me and my ex-wife. I came to resent her. One thing that the author never mentions in her article though, is what the major consequences can be. Sure, the guy can avoid her or resent her or a bunch of other behaviors as well.

He can also leave when he has had enough. He can leave the relationship and go on to find another one where hopefully he learns his part in the play and he learns to set his own boundaries of what is acceptable and unacceptable and he’s able to call her out on it if and when that time comes.

I’m not advocating that leaving is the easiest and only option. Sometimes leaving isn’t feasible for a variety of reasons and I understand that. But it is an option, and sometimes it’s the only reasonable option.

I don’t know if “nagging” or women “correcting” behavior is a feature or a bug. Maybe it’s both, maybe it’s neither. Maybe it’s something else entirely. I do know that it does happen. It happened in my marriage and to a much lesser degree, my last long term relationship. Carl from Black Label Logic calls it “Death by 1000 Concessions,” and maybe that’s exactly what it is.

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Women, Relationships, And Onions

Women and Relationships

I saw something interesting the other day on Twatter. Some guys I follow happen to follow a different guy who decided to write a blog post about “Investing In Genuine Desire.” What got me interested in trying to read this particular post was some of the replies to the author, this one in particular:

I know I’ve wrote about this before, but I’ll be damned if I can find it at the moment, so I’m going to sum up the most salient points.

Why do women leave? For every woman, or man for that matter, that leaves, they will have a reason that is unique to them and to you. Maybe she left you because you were a fat piece of shit with nothing going on in your life. The next woman left because you lost weight and became a skinny piece of shit. Point is: both left for their own reasons.

The real truth of women leaving is twofold:

1. They left because they wanted to.

2. They left because they could.

End of story. Trying to find out “why” isn’t going to change anything and it isn’t going to prevent a future woman from leaving if she so desires. Trying to mitigate her leaving is putting yourself in her “frame” and it smacks of covert contracts on your part.

If anything, you should be so busy with things in your life that if she leaves, it’s not going to be the end of the world. Sure it will be disappointing, sure it will hurt. That’s normal. You’ll be too busy to be worrying too much about it if it happens though. You have a life right?

Women and relationships are kind of like onions. Sometimes they stink, sometimes they taste really good and add flavor to your life, and sometimes they will make you cry.

They are also like onions in the way that an onion doesn’t have a core. We guys have this fascination with trying to get the “root” or the “core” of the matter. This includes sex, relationships, and everything in between. Hell, I just tried to read an approximately 2000 word essay about “Investing in Genuine Desire.”

I say tried, because I couldn’t finish it. The author is way overthinking things.

“Women are made to be loved, not understood.” – Oscar Wilde

He had a lot of interesting labels and terminology, but when I finally tapped out and cried uncle, it was because he’s peeling back the onion only he’s going to find out that there is no “core.” There is no “truth” to the mystery that he’s created for himself and that he’s trying to unravel.

Keep digging at women to understand them and eventually you will, but you won’t be able to love them anymore. The beauty, the mystery, the chemistry, all of it will be gone. Same goes for relationships. Pick them apart long enough and there will be nothing left in your hands but wisps and ashes.

Ideally, your life should be so full of interesting things to do and to see that you won’t have time to ask questions like what the author was asking. The guy has too much time on his hands if he has time to write a 2000 word essay on “Investing in Genuine Desire.”

If you have the time to sit around and think, “It took her two hours to text me back, so I’ll wait four hours before I text her back.” You have too much time on your hands. I work all day, write blog posts, create and edit videos and do live streams as well as find time to have sex and date. I don’t have time to sit around and wonder why she did or didn’t text me back and why it did or didn’t take “x” amount of time. I’m too fucking busy to worry about that. My girl will text me when she wants and I’ll get back to her when I get the time and get a chance. I’m not worried or thinking about what she is or isn’t doing.

You want to get genuine desire from her? Have a life that is more interesting than hers. That’s it. You don’t have to be “The World’s Most Interesting Man,” you just need to have a life that is more interesting than hers. And have you seen most women today?

Sorry ladies, I’m not trying to shit on you, but most of you don’t have fuck all going on in your lives. Most of you are outright boring. So just be more interesting than she is. That’s it. There’s your “hypergamy switch” for you.

Instead of sitting around overthinking things like you usually do, why not keep it simple, stupid?

Like Oscar Wilde said, “Women are made to be loved, not understood.” So stop trying to understand them and just love them. Enjoy them because they are there. Have fun with them, be fun for them, fuck them, and enjoy your time with them because one day it will be over. It could be that she decides to leave, it could be that you decide to leave, it could be that one of you dies. There’s no guarantees in life that you will outlive or outlast the other.

Have a life that is interesting. If your life is more interesting than hers, she’ll stick around. At least for awhile. Remember, “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.” And your “turn” could last for 50+ years. Or it could be just one hour of one day.

Stop overthinking things and get a hobby. Ideally you should be too busy to be worrying about if she desires you or not. Your life should be so full that it’s great if she’s there, but it’s fine if she isn’t. Ideally you should be exhausted by the time you fall into bed.

Stop peeling back the layers of the onion because if you do, you’ll find the “truth” is that there is no “core,” no “center,” no “truth,” no “answer.” Just that it is, and now that you’ve peeled it back into oblivion, you’ll have nothing in your hand but shreds and shards of what was.

Stop trying to prevent her from leaving or losing her desire. Stop trying to control and manipulate. You can’t keep her around if she wants to go and if you do it’ll be considered kidnapping. Also, why would you want to be around someone who doesn’t want to be around you? Better to cut your losses and move on.

There’s always more women. Always.

For God’s sake, stop worrying about “investing in her desire and in the relationship and getting her to invest herself into you and into the relationship.” Invest in yourself. Invest in your life.

Stop trying to anticipate and to control and just Let. Go.

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Cracks Along The Edges

pink and teal painted surface

A lot of things have happened to me since I first started writing this blog back in October of 2016. For starts, I went from writing a handful of posts that year, to writing two posts per week for almost two years running. I had a live-in girlfriend at the beginning of this blog, to being single now as I write this.

You all got to read in more or less “real time” about my mother being diagnosed with ovarian cancer and her eventual death.

You got to learn about me, my “origin story” as it were, if you followed along with my twice weekly ramblings and rantings. My “story” is sprinkled all throughout my blog. You don’t want to take the time and read through everything I’ve written so far? That’s okay. I created a post for my patrons on Patreon that summarizes it all nicely. It will cost you money though. You want it, you get to pay for it like they did.

I created a newsletter and in the beginning I was writing individual emails every single day. It was great until it wasn’t. That caused me to burnout pretty bad, which is why I use my newsletter now mostly as a way to keep in touch with those that want to stay in touch with me in the event that I get deplatformed. What you are reading here you’ll end up seeing on the newsletter. So subscribe to that if you would like, or don’t. I won’t try and sell some shit from gumroad to you and I won’t sell your email address to spammers, scammers, or other nefarious sorts.

You have seen my beginnings with Masculine Geek here as well. I try and keep most of my stuff collected here as I’ve tried to keep what I do here and what I do there separate. Sometimes I have succeeded admirably in doing this, and in other cases I have failed spectacularly. There’s only so much time in the day and only so much creative juice flowing. I’m finding that out right now.

I’m spreading myself too thin. I’m burning out. There’s “cracks along the edges” in my life. So I’m going to take a break. I’m taking a break from the blog for the time being. I want to get through this whole stupid mess that we are calling “quarantine” before I’ll probably come back on here. My work life right now is demanding a huge amount of my attention and my energy and I’m struggling with coming up with new and witty things to say to you all.

I want to devote more of my time to making and editing videos and doing the “livestream thing.” So that’s what I’m going to do for the foreseeable future. At least until things settle down at work and sort of go back to “normal,” whatever that is.

What can I leave with you for right now?

I’ll leave you with this:

Women are great, but they are just women. They do stupid shit just like we do. They are not the be-all-end-all to life. They are just human beings. I know that may come as a shock for some of you, especially if you are going through a dry spell, or you’re fairly young and somewhat new to dating and relating in the 21st century, but I promise you, they “ain’t all that.”

Spend more of your time working on the things that you are interested in. Whether it’s health, wealth, or learning a new skill or hobby, do that instead of constantly chasing women around. Get a few of them under your belt if you haven’t, but you’ll figure out really quick that sex is like pizza. There’s no such thing as bad pizza, just some are better than others. Same can be said about women. Once you get to sex, it all feels the same pretty much. It only differs by degrees and those degrees are usually slight.

Your friends are more important than your woman. They will be there for you when you fall flat on your face or you get “zeroed out.” And you will get “zeroed out” eventually. Whether emotionally, financially, or otherwise, it will happen. If it doesn’t, you are either extremely lucky, or you haven’t ventured out into the world and taken any risks whatsoever. Don’t fuck up your friendships over a woman, ask me how I know.

Use your voice. I’ve said it before, several times in the past. Somebody has to come along to “carry the torch.” If I’m still here doing this when I’m 60 or older, than I have failed you and I have failed myself. There’s more to life than talking about game, women, and red pill topics. It’s called life itself. And it will blow by you in the blink of an eye. One day you will wake up and you will be 50 and you’ll wonder, “where did all of the time go?” Don’t let that happen to you. Get out and live. Go enjoy the sunshine. Go ride a motorcycle or something. Get off the internet and get out of your house.

I’ve heard some of the guys that I interact with in this particular sphere ask the question, “What happened to all the guys that were here before us? Most of them just disappeared.” That or they died. My take as well as many of the guys that I’ve talked with about this particular question is that our “forefathers” if you will, got what they needed from “this space,” and then went on with their lives. Maybe this is me wanting to get on with my life. I honestly don’t know at this moment.

Be authentic in whatever you do, especially on the internet. Don’t be one of these caricature asshole grifters. If “selling your soul” to make money is the route you go down like they are, I’m pretty sure you will end up broke and dead at the end of that road. And even if you don’t end up broke, you will still end up dead and nobody will have known who you really are. That sounds like a lonely existence to me.

Stop looking for somebody to “save you.” There is no messiah coming. The only one that is going to “save you” is yourself. You are your own messiah.

Stop bending the knee to women just so that you can get some ass. You won’t get it because she won’t respect you or be attracted or aroused by you, so knock it off. You’ll just end up being a simp and nobody wants to be around that, not even women.

I don’t know what it will take for you, because I’m not you, but have some self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself, nobody else will either. That includes women. Especially women. Be willing and able to walk away.

Last thing:

Let Them Burn.

If you don’t know what that means, either you are new, lazy, or just plain old dumb. Go read my blog, it’s in there and all over the place. Stop being a lazy fuck wanting someone to hold your hand and spoon-feed you like a baby bird. Stop looking for shortcuts and “hacks,” because in life there aren’t any shortcuts or “hacks.” You get to do this thing called life the hard way where everybody is keeping score, points matter, participation is mandatory, you’ll probably get less out of it than you put into it, and ultimately nobody gives a fuck whether you live or die. They have their own shit to worry about.

And if you think I’m being pessimistic and negative, all that tells me is that you don’t know me, and you probably never will.

At the end of the day, there’s two ways to look at life:


Talk to you all soon.