Tag: men and women

Issues

Rob Says5 Comments

analog binder blank book

Issues. I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues. I’m not talking about things like diabetes, stage four cancer, heart disease, or even something like high blood pressure. Those are issues. Those are things that if you don’t handle them, they will eventually handle you.

I’m talking about “other” issues. I’m talking about your receding hair. I’m talking about your scars on your body. I’m talking about your crooked teeth. I’m talking about your lack of height. I’m talking about your body hair, or your lack of it. These are the issues I’m talking about.

Guys, here’s the deal:

It will only be an issue for her, if it’s an issue for you. It’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.

As Jack Napier has said many times on Red Evenings, “it’s Story Time With Rob…” So here we go.

A little while back I met a woman. She’s smart, she’s energetic, she’s vivacious. She has kept her body in great shape. She knows how to make an entrance when she walks into a room. Everybody notices her when she does it. That’s how I noticed her.

This woman and I got to bantering, teasing, shit talking each other. We were flirting. The conversation moves and flows like it does, and at some point she started talking about her scars on her body. “I look like I’ve been cut in half,” is what she said to me. That’s a direct quote. Well, that picqued my curiosity. I had to know what a woman who had been cut in half looked like. I had images in my mind that made her look atrocious. I told her I wanted to see her scars, I wanted to know what they looked like, what she looked like, and so she showed me. She lifted up her shirt to expose her flat belly, and pulled down slightly on her jeans. And there they were. The Scars.

She has had an emergency hysterectomy when she was younger. If she hadn’t had it, she might well have not lived. So here’s this scar. Sure, it’s noticable, it’s definitely there. But you know what? It wasn’t a big deal to me. She definitely didn’t look like she had been “cut in half.” I believe my words to her were, “Oh. Is that it? That’s the big show? That all you got? I’ll be honest, I’m a little disappointed, I was expecting more.”

It wasn’t a big deal to me. In fact, if I had seen it before she had ever mentioned it to me, I don’t honestly know if I would have “seen” it. Same with some scar she had on her arm from…whatever. It was barely there and if she hadn’t pointed it out, I wouldn’t have noticed it.

Then she brought up her “laugh lines and crow’s feet.” She wants to get botox injections to get rid of them because they make her look “old.” Now, if she has an actual issue with something, by all means, do something about it. But I didn’t even notice those lines around her eyes and mouth until she pointed them out to me. Personally, I don’t know what she’s going on about, she looked perfectly fine to me. Beautiful in her own way.

Guys, it’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.

I used to be hung up about my receding hair. It was an issue for me. Every time I talked to somebody, especially an attractive woman, I always thought, “they aren’t looking at me, they are looking at my receding hairline.” And they were! Because I made it an issue. So what did I do? I shaved my head. That receding hairline issue? Yeah it went away immediately. Nowadays, I know they are looking at my bald head. What else are they going to look at? My feet? Their feet? Of course I’m bald, if I was any more bald, you would be seeing my skull.

I used to make my height, or lack of it, an issue. And so it was. Everybody noticed that I was short. It was an issue because I made it an issue. Nothing I can do about it though, so I let it go, I gave it up. I stopped worrying about it and making it an issue. So did everybody else. It’s funny to me now, I mention my height and people are like, “You’re not that short! You have to be at least 5’8!” That’s how people see me now. I guess I “walk tall” and carry myself tall.

Same with my teeth. They aren’t the straightest teeth in the world. I used to let that bother me, not enough to go and get braces or orthodontic work done, but enough that I wouldn’t do a lot of open mouth smiles. I’ve learned to let that one go too and not worry about it too much. You know what I hear a lot of? “You have a beautiful smile.”

Stop making things an issue. If you are a little bit overweight, it will only show up if you make it show up. If you are grossly overweight or morbidly obese, that is an issue. That is your health on the line right there. Do something about that.

Do you have a lot of body hair like I do? Own it. Trim it up or wax it if you must, but otherwise just own it. The women that show up in my life absolutely love the fact that I’m hairy. It turns them on. They love rubbing their hands in it and playing with it. It gets them purring.

Don’t have a lot of body hair? It’s not an issue unless you make it one. The women that will show up for you will like you as you are as long as you are good with you, as long as you are comfortable in your own skin.

So you can be a short, bald, hairy guy like me and still get a lot of attention from women, because your issues aren’t issues, or you can have your issues and the women will have issues with your issues. Stop getting in your own way. Stop “stepping on your own dick.”

Here’s a little fun thing I’ve observed over time:

Every woman I’ve met, every single one of them, has their own issues. Whether it’s stretch marks, scars, cellulite, laugh lines, crows feet, crooked teeth, thinning hair, moles and freckles on their bodies, small breasts, flat ass, too big of breasts, saggy breasts, too big of an ass, or…You name it. I think I’ve heard it all. Younger women are intimidated by older women who have “more experience,” and older women are intimidated by younger women because they are “younger, hotter, tighter,” and that they’ll be replaced by that younger woman.

So if women have all all these insecurities and hang ups, and they do, why are you intimidated by them? What is there to be afraid of? They are just as, if not more, insecure than you. They have their own issues, just like you do. Their issues and insecurities aren’t flaws, it just brings out their humanity. Just like your issues and flaws bring out yours.

When you stop making your shit an issue, they’ll stop making it an issue too.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Not Fucking Is The New Kewl

Rob Says2 Comments
Polish_20191028_122758795
The New Virtue Signalling

Not fucking doesn’t make you cool. It just makes you inexperienced.

According to recent developments in my “corner” of the Twitterverse, abstaining (i.e. not fucking) is the new cool. Now it’s not about how much experience you have, but the experience of not having. The above screenshot was a reply to a thread that was started by a epiphany phase woman, here’s the original tweet that started it all:

Polish_20191028_122703493

“For the record, I find men that have restraint over their biological urges and deeper goals than “getting laid” as quite impressive.” Apparently, in order to be “a Real Man” these days, you shouldn’t be fucking. Your abstinence and restraint are what make you “a Real Man” in 2019. Who knew?

“I want a Man with very little experience!” – Said no woman ever.

Guys, if you are going to actually listen to this form of nonsense, you’ll just be chasing your tails. You get experience with women by doing things with women. Fucking is doing something with women. Fucking is experience. It may not be the be all, end all of experiences, but it’s up there. I’ve met plenty of women who I had very little in common with, other than sex, who kept coming back for more, than the other way around.

All of the women that I’ve had the pleasure to meet, whether I had sex with them or not, wanted or want, a Man with experience. And by experience, yes, they meant in the bedroom. Young women, older women, short women, tall women, thin women, fat women, it didn’t matter. All of them want or wanted a Man with experience.

I don’t know why, but the original post smacks of dishonesty and disingeniousness for me. It’s a bald-face lie as far as I’m concerned. And the reply that I posted above it is nothing but virtue signalling on another level.

“Don’t judge a man by the number of women he sleeps with but, rather, the number of women he decides not to sleep with, because he thinks it would be inappropriate, to do so.” Do you know what’s inappropriate? Turning down a woman who you are sexually turned on by, and she is turned on by you. Actually, maybe it’s not inappropriate, but it’s fucking stupid.

Here’s something to understand:

If a woman presents herself to you and wants to have sex with you, and you turn her down, you’ll never get another chance with her, and that’s okay if you don’t want to have sex with her. But if you do want to have sex with her, good luck salvaging that one.

“I can’t have sex with you, that would be inappropriate.” You have no idea how many times I had to hit backspace and type that one over again. I couldn’t keep a straight face and I couldn’t stop laughing. I kept misspelling it and fucking it up.

I’ve not met a woman to date that had or has an issue with my so-called “notch count.” They don’t care how I got my experience. They are glad that I have it.

Polish_20191028_122736280

This reply sounds like some guy who belongs to the “Club For Those Who Aren’t Fucking.” Newsflash: You’re not going to humble a woman by not sleeping with her. You’re going to piss her off. And she’ll just go and find someone who will fuck her. This guy is simply justifying his lack of sex. “She wouldn’t fuck me… Well, I didn’t want to fuck her anyways! That’ll show her!”

“The man expresses that he isn’t over-indulgent and also that he is a master, not a slave to his own body.” I think this guy is…I don’t even know where to begin or what to say honestly. I’m not a “slave” to my own body. Nature designed it for fucking, so I fuck when I want to. Being “over-indulgent” is nothing but a morality statement, and you can take your morality statement and shove it up your ass. I’d rather be fucking than not fucking. Indulgence isn’t compulsion. Compulsion is slavery, indulgence is choice. This guy is conflating the two.

How is it “better” for both men and women if the man shows self-restraint? I thought it was better to “scratch that itch,” have an orgasm, and enjoy each other? War is Peace. Slavery is Freedom. Abstinence is Sex. Restraint is Release. Jesus wept.

What a world we are now living in. For the longest time, it’s been “worship the woman and her holy vagina.” Now it’s evolving into “The worship of everything about women except their vagina.” – h/t to Rian Stone for this quote.

Men will always want to get laid, it’s hardwired into them. For those who don’t or can’t, I guess it’s turning into, “Well I didn’t want her pussy anyways! Look at me being abstinent and virtuous!” The more things change the more they stay the same really. Welcome to a “New Puritanical Age.”

Fuck it. You want to be a part of the “My Experience Is Not Having Experience Club,” knock yourself out. You get to burn.

Barring that, I guess you can always join a religion that promises virgins in the afterlife for you. Fucking ghosts may be the next “new thing.” Who knows?

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Which One Will You Feed?

Rob SaysLeave a comment
beige and gray wolf on the green grass
Which One Will You Feed?

Last week, I wrote a post about how there is No Spoon. I still stand by that post. I received a little flack for it, not nearly as much as I thought I was going to get, and overall, it seemed to be met with either indifference or with some acceptance. I want to further explore what I started out with in that post.

I said there is no gender war and I received plenty of links from other people claiming that there indeed was a gender war. Like I said before, sure the gender war is in the mainstream media and on social media, I have no doubts about that. There are plenty of articles, links, videos, and opinions claiming that there is a gender war. And I know from talking to people firsthand that they have been through the divorce machine/meat grinder. I too have been through divorce and fortunately for me, my divorce was a cake-walk compared to others. I know that in many states, locales, countries, etc that divorce, child support, alimony, etc is primarily geared towards women, and if by that definition you mean to say there is a gender war, you would be correct. I won’t argue with you there.

But the “gender war” is also in your minds. Just like mainstream media is telling you what to be aware of, and in many cases, what to be afraid of, social media is also doing the same thing. Do you want to live your life as an adversary to someone else simply because the laws and the courts are geared to favor them? I don’t advocate marriage for many of the same reasons that other’s don’t advocate marriage, it’s simply too big of a risk. At the same time, I’m not going to let a “gender war” stop me from enjoying the company of women. I’m not going to let a possible “#metoo” stop me from being around women, even in the workplace. Yes, I’ve wrote about #metoo in the past, and I still stand by what I’ve written. It’s mostly common sense knowledge, at least to me, so that you can avoid many of the pitfalls that can happen at your job.

I’m seeing a lot of Men on the internet throwing around a lot of information about how guys are getting fucked over by the courts, the laws, and even the government. I get it. I really do. I definitely went through an anger phase and even a bitter phase over it all when I first started unplugging. I think that’s a normal and natural part of the process. At some point though, you have to decide what you want to do after that initial shock, anger, bitterness, and even depression starts to wear off. Do you want to stay stuck in it? Do you want to keep reading and watching the outrage? Will that help you become the best version of you? Or do you want to do something else?

I’m all for awareness. It’s good to know what’s going on around you so that you can hopefully anticipate what’s coming up next. It’s good to know so that you can adapt and adjust as necessary. It’s good to know so that you don’t bury your head in the sand and think that “everything will be okay,” because sometimes everything won’t just be okay. But you also need to decide for yourselves when you’ve gotten what you needed from your awareness of what’s going on around you, and you decide to get on with life anyways, or in spite of it.

Is all the outrage putting you in a defensive position? Or is it helping you be the best version of you? You can live a life on the defense, or you can take chances and risks, and maybe you just might get something that well outweighs those risks.

This is what I mean by there is No Spoon. It’s a choice that you and I both make every day. Sure you can say there is a spoon, and there is. You can get locked up in it and immerse yourself in it. I did that for over a year. All it got me in the end was a lot of anger and misery, a lot of distrust towards people that I didn’t even know and hadn’t done anything to me except be people of another gender. I’m not going to hold women being women against them, the biggest reason is because I’m then denying myself the pleasure that they have to offer me. Sure they can go feral and cheat and manipulate, and all of that, I’m aware of it, I know the risks. But I’m going to go there and take chances anyways. Life is too short not to.

I think this is a great quote:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice:

“Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

My question to you is, which one do you feed?

Confirmation bias is a real thing. You will find whatever it is that you seek. You will not see what you don’t want to see. You will only see and hear what you want to see and hear.

Is there a spoon for you? Or is there no spoon?

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.