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Overanalyzing and TL;DR

Rob Says3 Comments

chart close up data desk

One thing that I have encountered time and time again is guys overanalyzing things. I get it, hell I do it too. I used to be really bad at it in fact. I would go over things so many times and in all the painful detail that I possibly could, that it would end up paralyzing me into inaction. Hence the term, overanalysis leads to paralysis.

One of the things that I’ve learned watching and interacting with other men, is not only do they tend to overanalyze pretty much everything, they tend to put too much attention, meaning, and effort into things that don’t matter all that much. Basically they overanalyze the wrong things.

Instead of focusing on what you are going to say to someone, maybe focus on them and what they are saying?

Instead of noticing proximity, IOI’s, and little itty-bitty nuances in body language, how about you just approach instead?

How about instead of worrying about “leaning in,” you just put your arm around her and escalate?

Let me ask you guys this:

Are you genuinely interested in meeting people, women specifically, or are you just flexing for your buds on the internet? Are you doing any of what you are doing in order to facilitate a connection that hopefully leads to sex, or are you doing what you are doing to pad or inflate your ego?

There’s no wrong answer here, and I don’t care what your reasoning is, just that you have a reason. Just be honest with yourself. Is it validation you are seeking or a connection? Asking yourself that question and then being honest about the answer will get you further than anything else you have done so far.

During my time on Twitter specifically, and on the internet in general, I’ve encountered a couple of different groups of guys:

Group One is the group of guys who break everything down into the most granular level as possible. These are the guys who tend to overanalyze everything. They are also the biggest group when it comes to worrying about shit that doesn’t matter all that much. This is the “Don’t Lean In” crowd. This is the “You must be 6’4 to ride this ride” crowd. This is the “chiseled jawline” crowd. Guess what? If you lose weight, you too can have a chiseled jaw.

The point is, you can’t do jack shit about your height, so you might as well not worry about that. And the “don’t lean in” guys are missing the context which is far more important than the behavior of leaning in. They are overanalyzing and worrying about shit that doesn’t matter. Same goes for analyzing photos and drawing green lines on people in those photos. Talk about talking about shit that doesn’t matter. Same goes with the “that’s alpha, or that’s beta” crowd. You guys are missing the point entirely. Oh well, enjoy your jerkoff session because that’s all you are doing.

Guys, if you are going to overanalyze things, at least overanalyze the things that are useful.

Group Two is the Too Long Didn’t Read (TL;DR) crowd. I get this one too and I have been a part of it as well. These guys are interested in a topic, but not really. It’s a passing interest at best. Ask me how I know. I have realized that dealing with the guys who want the “Cliff’s Notes” version are a waste of time. Most of them can’t be bothered to do any of the work and want to be spoon-fed.

When I was younger, the internet either didn’t exist, or when it did, you needed to know where to look to find information on a subject. Now all you have to do is type something in your favorite search engine and the information is there for you. The problem today is an overload of information vs a scarcity of information and a lot of the information out there is worthless at best and detrimental at worst.

It’s on you to do the work and sift through the detritus to get to the nuggets of gold. There’s really no shortcut here, you have to do the work. Anything else is you telling me that either you want to be willfully ignorant or that you’re not really interested in a topic and just want to be spoon-fed. Either way you get to burn. I had to do the heavy lifting for myself, why should I deprive you of that experience? After all, first hand experience is the best teacher.

Besides, when you are really interested in a topic or subject, digging through the bullshit to get to the diamonds is part of the fun and the joy of the subject. Trust me, research isn’t one of my favorite things to do, but I’ll do it gladly when it comes to the things that I enjoy or things that I’m genuinely interested in learning about.

To wrap it up for today:

Get out of your head and get into your body.

If that doesn’t make sense to you, then you didn’t read anything that I said earlier.

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A Case For “Normalcy”

Rob SaysLeave a comment

man couple love laptop

Maybe it’s just been my experience, but one of the things that I have noticed for a while now on Twitter is that many of the guys in that space have “a little spot of the ’tism.” (h/t Rian Stone for that phrase.)

What do I mean by this? Most of the guys aren’t “normal.” Being normal has gotten a bad rap these days apparently. Being normal means that you are still plugged in, doing the blue pill fantasy, being a consumer, and watching and believing in mainstream media I guess.

But here’s my case for “normalcy.”:

“Normal” guys tend to have women in their lives. Whether it be a girlfriend, wife, or some sort of significant other, there’s women in the picture. At least that has been my experience with guys who are normal.

You can hang out with “normal” guys. This is a big one for me. I can have a conversation with a “normal” guy. Our conversations don’t only revolve around the red pill or politics, we can talk about music, cars, different places to eat and vacation, and a host of other topics.

“Normal” guys tend to have a variety of interests. They aren’t fixated on only one or two things. They might go to the gym, but that’s not all they do and they don’t live there. They enjoy the company of women, but chasing skirt isn’t their only goal. They like their video games, but they aren’t doing 48 hour marathons of World of Warcraft. They like their firearms but they aren’t obsessing over the “End Times.” They may have their religious convictions, but they aren’t forcing Jesus down my throat and trying to convert me to the cause. They love their kids (if they have them) but their kids aren’t the centers of their universes. They have plans and goals, but they don’t need to map out the next twenty years of their lives on a spreadsheet.

If you find yourself doing anything that I’ve mentioned above, you may have a little spot of the ’tism.

I’ve met plenty of guys online and I plan on continuing to do so. If we’ve met because you found my blog, my Twitter handle, or my YouTube channel, that’s awesome to me. I’ve achieved one of my personal goals. If we are ever to meet in real life though, please be normal. I talk enough about the red pill online that I would rather get to know you, not hear you rehash something I said or that someone else said. I don’t mind a mention about it here or there, but I don’t want that to be the only thing we talk about. I can talk to you about that online and keep it there.

I love women’s company about as much or maybe even more than the next guy, but I don’t want to spend all day talking about pussy. I had a roommate back in college who let his dick run his life. All day long all he wanted to do was talk about pussy. The pussy he got, the pussy he wanted to get, the pussy that I got, and the pussy that got away. I would try and change the topic after awhile and move on to something else, and he would end up bringing it back to pussy. It got old. I remember telling him that there was more to life than pussy. I remember moving out shortly after that conversation as well. Life is too short.

Carl from Black Label Logic made a great tweet the other day.

He said:

I find the best acid-test for allowing people into your life consists of 1 question, 4 contexts: Would I be comfortable:

1. bringing this person to thanksgiving dinner

2. a work function with my boss and all my co-workers

3. night out with the boys

4. dinner with so/gf/plate

This goes even beyond “The Beer Test.” I’m sure that I’ve mentioned it before on this blog, but I’ll be damned if I can find the post. Maybe I just talked about it on Twitter at some point, but it goes simply like this:

“Would I want to sit down and have a beer with this guy and shoot the shit?” If yes, then he’s probably okay. If not, then I have my answer.

Carl takes it another step, which I happen to like. It made me realize that while there are some guys out there that I would have a beer with, there are very few that I would invite to dinner with my women, work, or family or go hang out with the boys. That’s sad to me, but that’s the level of ’tism that is going on out there.

So the takeaway for today boys and girls, is this:

You want to be more successful with women? Try being a little more normal. You want to be liked in a social setting? Try being a little more normal. You want to have some guy friends, especially “red pilled” guy friends? Try being a little more normal. Dial the ’tism back a notch or two.

You don’t have to be the “Most Interesting Man In The World.” You just have to be interesting. And be normal for the love of god.

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Is It Useful…To You?

Rob Says1 Comment

man with hand on temple looking at laptop

Humor me for a bit if you would, I have a couple of scenarios for you. I want you to think about them and what you would do.

Let’s say, you had a job and while you were working that job, another job position became available. This position was internal only, meaning that the company would not be hiring someone from the outside. This position was a decent bump in pay, but there were a lot of requirements to be eligible to get the position.

Here are some of the requirements:

Must have been employed with the company for a minimum of one year.

Must be able to use Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. A minimum of two years of use.

Must be able to lift 50 pounds on a regular basis and up to 75 pounds when needed.

Must be able to give and receive direction from fellow co-workers.

Must be good with numbers. Must be able to check balance sheets and find discrepancies.

Must have a Class B CDL minimum. Class A preferred. 5 years driving experience minimum.

Must be willing to work weekends and holidays.

Will be on-call.

If you meet this requirements, please contact (so and so) to set up an interview.

And there was more to that laundry list, but it’s been long enough that I have forgotten what they were.

When I saw this position at my prior job open up, this was just some of the list of requirements. I only met three of them. I had the employment time with the company, I could lift 50 pounds and I was willing to work holidays and weekends. I contacted so and so and set up an interview.

About a week later I had my interview with so and so and 2 other guys. It was a short interview and I didn’t get the position.

Another year went by and the position became available again. Other than another year of experience with the company, I hadn’t done anything else. I contacted so and so again and got another interview. So and so and 2 other guys did that interview and this time, I got the position.

When they asked me about my experience with their list of requirements, I told them that basically I had none. I also told them that I could learn, would be willing to learn, and that I wouldn’t let them down.

I was told later that was why they gave me a shot. They liked my confidence and my willingness to try. I stayed in that position for another two years and then went on to become a manager in that department.

Here’s another scenario:

You see a girl. She’s hot. She presses all your buttons in a good way. You get the nerve to go and talk to her. You don’t fumble too much and you look decent (ie clean hair, teeth, clothes, and no odors coming off of you.) Things are going well so you ask for her number or some such and that’s when things tank.

She looks at you and says something to the effect of, “Ick. You are like my Dad’s age. That’s just gross and creepy.” And then she nervously looks around and darts away from you the moment you back up.

That’s a true story scenario by the way, not just a “what if.”

How could you handle it?

Well, you could get all self-conscious and take it personal and think to yourself “God, I must be creepy and younger women don’t like men my age.”

Or, you could realize that some younger women don’t like dating, fucking, or going out with guys their Dad’s age.

But some do.

You could decide that that girl was one of those who don’t like dating older men. And then move on from it. Or you can internalize it and make it about you. Both are valid answers to this scenario, but only one is useful.

Going back to the work scenario, I could have let that list of requirements stop me. The whole purpose of it was to get rid of the fence sitters and guys who weren’t serious about it. And it worked on everyone but me, especially the second time around.

Women are no different. They have their laundry lists of “must haves.” It’s all bullshit for the most part. And for the ones that are serious? We wouldn’t have worked out.

You can bitch and moan that you aren’t tall. You can bitch and moan that you aren’t wealthy. You can bitch and moan about whatever you like. But is it useful to you?

Or you can try anyways and see what happens. The worst thing that will happen is nothing will happen, but at least you will know. And then you can move on to the next thing, the next job, the next girl, the next whatever. You can try again.

Or you can bitch about it, which is the same thing as doing nothing because you’ll end up with nothing.

Which one is more useful to you?

If you want to nitpick my scenarios or whatever, I know which one is more useful to you. You can keep it, thanks.

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