Overanalyzing and TL;DR

chart close up data desk

One thing that I have encountered time and time again is guys overanalyzing things. I get it, hell I do it too. I used to be really bad at it in fact. I would go over things so many times and in all the painful detail that I possibly could, that it would end up paralyzing me into inaction. Hence the term, overanalysis leads to paralysis.

One of the things that I’ve learned watching and interacting with other men, is not only do they tend to overanalyze pretty much everything, they tend to put too much attention, meaning, and effort into things that don’t matter all that much. Basically they overanalyze the wrong things.

Instead of focusing on what you are going to say to someone, maybe focus on them and what they are saying?

Instead of noticing proximity, IOI’s, and little itty-bitty nuances in body language, how about you just approach instead?

How about instead of worrying about “leaning in,” you just put your arm around her and escalate?

Let me ask you guys this:

Are you genuinely interested in meeting people, women specifically, or are you just flexing for your buds on the internet? Are you doing any of what you are doing in order to facilitate a connection that hopefully leads to sex, or are you doing what you are doing to pad or inflate your ego?

There’s no wrong answer here, and I don’t care what your reasoning is, just that you have a reason. Just be honest with yourself. Is it validation you are seeking or a connection? Asking yourself that question and then being honest about the answer will get you further than anything else you have done so far.

During my time on Twitter specifically, and on the internet in general, I’ve encountered a couple of different groups of guys:

Group One is the group of guys who break everything down into the most granular level as possible. These are the guys who tend to overanalyze everything. They are also the biggest group when it comes to worrying about shit that doesn’t matter all that much. This is the “Don’t Lean In” crowd. This is the “You must be 6’4 to ride this ride” crowd. This is the “chiseled jawline” crowd. Guess what? If you lose weight, you too can have a chiseled jaw.

The point is, you can’t do jack shit about your height, so you might as well not worry about that. And the “don’t lean in” guys are missing the context which is far more important than the behavior of leaning in. They are overanalyzing and worrying about shit that doesn’t matter. Same goes for analyzing photos and drawing green lines on people in those photos. Talk about talking about shit that doesn’t matter. Same goes with the “that’s alpha, or that’s beta” crowd. You guys are missing the point entirely. Oh well, enjoy your jerkoff session because that’s all you are doing.

Guys, if you are going to overanalyze things, at least overanalyze the things that are useful.

Group Two is the Too Long Didn’t Read (TL;DR) crowd. I get this one too and I have been a part of it as well. These guys are interested in a topic, but not really. It’s a passing interest at best. Ask me how I know. I have realized that dealing with the guys who want the “Cliff’s Notes” version are a waste of time. Most of them can’t be bothered to do any of the work and want to be spoon-fed.

When I was younger, the internet either didn’t exist, or when it did, you needed to know where to look to find information on a subject. Now all you have to do is type something in your favorite search engine and the information is there for you. The problem today is an overload of information vs a scarcity of information and a lot of the information out there is worthless at best and detrimental at worst.

It’s on you to do the work and sift through the detritus to get to the nuggets of gold. There’s really no shortcut here, you have to do the work. Anything else is you telling me that either you want to be willfully ignorant or that you’re not really interested in a topic and just want to be spoon-fed. Either way you get to burn. I had to do the heavy lifting for myself, why should I deprive you of that experience? After all, first hand experience is the best teacher.

Besides, when you are really interested in a topic or subject, digging through the bullshit to get to the diamonds is part of the fun and the joy of the subject. Trust me, research isn’t one of my favorite things to do, but I’ll do it gladly when it comes to the things that I enjoy or things that I’m genuinely interested in learning about.

To wrap it up for today:

Get out of your head and get into your body.

If that doesn’t make sense to you, then you didn’t read anything that I said earlier.

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