Humor me for a bit if you would, I have a couple of scenarios for you. I want you to think about them and what you would do.
Let’s say, you had a job and while you were working that job, another job position became available. This position was internal only, meaning that the company would not be hiring someone from the outside. This position was a decent bump in pay, but there were a lot of requirements to be eligible to get the position.
Here are some of the requirements:
Must have been employed with the company for a minimum of one year.
Must be able to use Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. A minimum of two years of use.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds on a regular basis and up to 75 pounds when needed.
Must be able to give and receive direction from fellow co-workers.
Must be good with numbers. Must be able to check balance sheets and find discrepancies.
Must have a Class B CDL minimum. Class A preferred. 5 years driving experience minimum.
Must be willing to work weekends and holidays.
Will be on-call.
If you meet this requirements, please contact (so and so) to set up an interview.
And there was more to that laundry list, but it’s been long enough that I have forgotten what they were.
When I saw this position at my prior job open up, this was just some of the list of requirements. I only met three of them. I had the employment time with the company, I could lift 50 pounds and I was willing to work holidays and weekends. I contacted so and so and set up an interview.
About a week later I had my interview with so and so and 2 other guys. It was a short interview and I didn’t get the position.
Another year went by and the position became available again. Other than another year of experience with the company, I hadn’t done anything else. I contacted so and so again and got another interview. So and so and 2 other guys did that interview and this time, I got the position.
When they asked me about my experience with their list of requirements, I told them that basically I had none. I also told them that I could learn, would be willing to learn, and that I wouldn’t let them down.
I was told later that was why they gave me a shot. They liked my confidence and my willingness to try. I stayed in that position for another two years and then went on to become a manager in that department.
Here’s another scenario:
You see a girl. She’s hot. She presses all your buttons in a good way. You get the nerve to go and talk to her. You don’t fumble too much and you look decent (ie clean hair, teeth, clothes, and no odors coming off of you.) Things are going well so you ask for her number or some such and that’s when things tank.
She looks at you and says something to the effect of, “Ick. You are like my Dad’s age. That’s just gross and creepy.” And then she nervously looks around and darts away from you the moment you back up.
That’s a true story scenario by the way, not just a “what if.”
How could you handle it?
Well, you could get all self-conscious and take it personal and think to yourself “God, I must be creepy and younger women don’t like men my age.”
Or, you could realize that some younger women don’t like dating, fucking, or going out with guys their Dad’s age.
But some do.
You could decide that that girl was one of those who don’t like dating older men. And then move on from it. Or you can internalize it and make it about you. Both are valid answers to this scenario, but only one is useful.
Going back to the work scenario, I could have let that list of requirements stop me. The whole purpose of it was to get rid of the fence sitters and guys who weren’t serious about it. And it worked on everyone but me, especially the second time around.
Women are no different. They have their laundry lists of “must haves.” It’s all bullshit for the most part. And for the ones that are serious? We wouldn’t have worked out.
You can bitch and moan that you aren’t tall. You can bitch and moan that you aren’t wealthy. You can bitch and moan about whatever you like. But is it useful to you?
Or you can try anyways and see what happens. The worst thing that will happen is nothing will happen, but at least you will know. And then you can move on to the next thing, the next job, the next girl, the next whatever. You can try again.
Or you can bitch about it, which is the same thing as doing nothing because you’ll end up with nothing.
Which one is more useful to you?
If you want to nitpick my scenarios or whatever, I know which one is more useful to you. You can keep it, thanks.