I wrote a post a little while back, it’s something that reiterates what Rian Stone wrote about in Fuccfiles.

A couple of days ago, I received a text from a phone number that I didn’t have in my phone, and that I didn’t recognize. The woman said hello and told me her name. Now, her name is actually pretty common, and that didn’t help me out a lot, so I decided to play along and started asking questions to either suss out who this person actually was, or to determine if “she” was a bullshit artist.

One of the questions that I asked was what was her dog’s name. She was able to answer it correctly and I knew that it was indeed “Velvet.” (For those of you wanting to know more of my backstory with “Velvet,” just go to the search bar on my blog and type in “Velvet,” and you’ll get everything that I have written about her and our time together.)

“Velvet” and I have a “vibe.” It’s not just the sex, it’s the conversations and the way we interact with each other. That’s why it was sad and disappointing for me when she called me on Labor Day Weekend of 2022 and had to tell me goodbye. She wanted monogamy and a boyfriend. She knew that’s not who I was and she was also smart enough or wise enough to know that she couldn’t or wouldn’t change me. So she had to go. I get it. It’s the price of admission for the lifestyle that I lead. I realized a long time ago that not everybody would want to date and relate the way that I do. I consider my love life to be a revolving door most of the time. Women show up, women leave. I’m still here.

When “Velvet” told me goodbye, I wasn’t surprised. I had felt a “disturbance in the Force” for a minute and knew something was up, and when she called me, she confirmed it. I have to admit though, out of all the goodbyes I have received from women over the years, her’s was the most humane, kind, thoughtful, and genuine.

I was sad to see her go, but that’s what happens.

6 months later and she’s texting me, which is when I thought about what Rian said in Fuccfiles. The great majority of women who decided to reach out to me didn’t want me, they just wanted to know that they could have me. Maybe they were bored. Maybe they were lonely. Who knows? Ultimately, who cares? All of them were time wasters, until now.

I have always been honest with the women I meet about who and what I am and what I’m looking for. There are plenty of guys on the internet who would disagree with what I say to the women I meet and how I say it. I don’t care. It works for me, and that is all that matters.

“Velvet” and I met up again in person this last Friday night. She looked amazing. We had shellfish and drinks. She also came back to my place and left late Saturday morning. We are planning to see each other again some time this upcoming week.

After our first session of sex on Friday night, I had to ask her something. My morbid curiosity was getting the better of me.

“Velvet, you know who and what I am, and what I’m looking for. It was ultimately why you had to tell me goodbye 6 months ago. So knowing that, knowing I haven’t changed and that I’m not going to change in the foreseeable future, why are you here?”

Why are you here?

Why are you here, Velvet? Why indeed?

I make a lousy husband and boyfriend, that’s just me being honest about me. I do make a great Lover, though. But why are you here if what you want and what I want are diametrically opposed?

She said:

“Rob, I know who and what you are. I also know that I want the “white picket fence.” I also know that is a fantasy. I realized that I want to live. I remember something you told me. You said, “It’s not the journey or the destination, but the company that you choose to keep.” I want that, and that’s why I’m here.”

So “Velvet” is back. For now. Time will tell and we will see. I have to admit though, the sex was pretty fucking hot and we picked up right where we left off as if no time had elapsed. Then again, I assumed that everything would work out the way that it did, and it did.

Sometimes they actually want you, not just knowing that they could have you. It’s rare. So rare that this is only the second time in my life that this has happened. The last time that happened I was 19, naive, stupid, and young.

Where will this go? I have no idea. I don’t think about those things too much. I’m not built that way. I don’t dwell on the past or the future too much. I just live in the present moment.

Will “Velvet” walk away again? Probably. When will that happen? I don’t know. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be 20 years from now. I have no idea. All I know is that there are no guarantees in life and you might as well live every moment as if it was your last.

I recently watched a movie called, The Brainwashing Of My Dad. The title caught my attention because I love anything and everything to do with “brainwashing.” I love persuasion, influence, coercion, “mind control,” cult tactics and behaviors. As someone said about me on a livestream a little while back, “It’s my wheelhouse.”

What is this film about?

It’s about a daughter, who is now middle-aged, doing a documentary on her father. About how when she was little, he was kind, and mellow, and laid-back. But then he found Rush Limbaugh. And over time, her father changed.

He became irritable and angry. He was so mad about the current events in the world. He truly changed. He became insufferable.

Granted, the film has a somewhat “left leaning slant,” but if that matters to you, then this post is for you.

It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you sit on. Left or right, conservative or progressive. They are nothing more than two sides of the same coin. Both are miserable, outraged, and angry. And most of the time, they have no idea why they are angry when you truly press them.

I went down the rabbit hole of outrage a few years ago. It was a major part of the demise of a great relationship that I had. I was so angry about feminism and the “left.” I was angry about women being women. I was angry about shit that I had no control over and shit that ultimately had little to no impact on my life. But that anger cost me a lot. In some ways, it cost me everything.

I have watched my Father watching TV. He doesn’t watch Fox, but he watches the local news, and he’s angry and parroting slogans that the TV talking heads have promoted. It has shocked me because the words that he is uttering aren’t part of his normal vocabulary. When I have questioned him about it, he doesn’t have an actual well thought out answer to give me. Only more jargon and slogans from the TV. My Father too, has been “brainwashed.”

But you and I are no different. Sure, we look down our noses and mock “mainstream media.” But you and I are both getting a steady diet of social media. You laugh, jest, mock, and sneer at the “left.” But that’s only because you have been gulping down a diet of “right wing” nonsense.

Are you angry? Are you incensed? Are you outraged? Welcome to the tactics of both the “left” and the “right.” Congratulations, you’ve been had. To quote the Last Psychiatrist, “If you’re reading or watching it, it’s for you.” You are the mark. You are the demographic. You are the target.

I remember 4 years ago, Rian Stone made a video about Gillette and Outrage. That video got me out of the outrage from feminism and the “left.” When I watched it, I literally had a moment where something inside my head just “popped.” Gillette wasn’t after me, I wasn’t the demographic. I felt a sense of relief when I realized that it wasn’t about me and ultimately there was nothing I could do about it. I found “peace.” I found quiet.

And that has carried on to this day, for the most part.

But over the last year I found myself getting annoyed and angry again. But now it’s not feminism and the “left.” It’s the “right.” Traditional Conservatives. It’s even guys that are “red pilled.” It’s Fox News, and conservatism, and it’s everywhere on social media, and most of the people I follow on social media are more “right leaning conservatives.” I see the checklists and the “listicles.” And when I watched “The Brainwashing Of My Dad,” another “bubble” popped:

Conservatives are just as fucked as liberals. You’re all poisoned. Both sides have drank all the Kool-Aid. I can’t abide that, it doesn’t work for me.

I made a tweet the other day:

“I’m seeing a lot of responding to outrage from you guys.

For supposedly being “red pilled” and “unplugged from the matrix,” and being your own “point of mental origin,” I’m seeing a lot of the opposite.

You’re outing yourselves.

I can’t stand it anymore.

And then there’s the classic comeback:

Amen, hallelujah. “It’s engagement, bro.”

So dance, monkey, dance.

Do it for the algorithm. Do it for the merchandise and to make a buck. Nothing wrong with that. Do it for the “likes” and the engagement. Do it for your own “personal brand of me.” But I’m unfollowing or muting you, because I don’t have the time, patience, or the energy to watch you do your nonsense. You’re manufacturing your own version of outrage, just like your “enemy” the “left.” Ultimately your actions and behaviors show me who you truly are, and honestly, I don’t know if I want you in my life. Sure, we can have a drink together, but I won’t be introducing you to my women or my Father any time soon.

What’s that line from Robocop?

“I’m cashing you out, Bob.”

Take your outrage, your left or right wing rhetoric, and your politics, and shove them up your ass.