It’s Friday night and I’m sitting with the windows open, listening to the thunder and the rain as it falls. I’m letting the evening air circulate in my stuffy house, cooling everything down. As I’m writing this, I’m thinking of a few things.
I’m thinking about tonight’s Red Evening with Jack Napier. I have no idea what the topic will be. Not that we ever really have one. That’s what’s fun about doing the show with Jack. We don’t usually have an “agenda.” It’s more, “how was your week?” and then we just roll from there. I’m a little sad though. I’m sad because I don’t think Jack and I can be friends anymore. When you say that Lord of the Rings is better than Star Wars, dude…I just can’t even. The real shocker was seeing Vince from Masculine Geek pandering to Jack and siding with him. Vince, I thought we were Brothers, man. I’m finding out who my real friends are apparently.
I’m also texting with my Bosnian girl as I write this. She’s been burning the midnight oil recently with her work projects. She’s an architect and a damn good one from what I understand. She really enjoys her job.
My teacher/belly dancer is going camping this weekend. As far as I know, she’s up on the mountain as I type this. I hope she’s enjoying herself and having fun and I hope that she takes care of herself and is safe. I guess I’ll find out what adventures she had on Monday evening when she gets back into town.
I’m going to Wendover with my “Girl Who Likes Pain” on Saturday afternoon. I’ll be with her until sometime Sunday. She booked a room at the Rainbow Casino that has a private jacuzzi in the room itself. She’s bringing all sorts of “toys” with her. I’m pretty sure that drinking, steak, and debauchery are on the menu. She’s crazy about me.
That’s not a brag or a boast, it’s just a statement. She’s crazy about me. She’s not the first woman to basically obsess over me, and for all I know, she won’t be the last. My ex-wife obsessed over me. Teriyaki, at least in the beginning of our time together, obsessed over me. My Costa Rican girl from a couple of years ago, obsessed over me, and there was an Indian girl from India that I knew back in the early 90’s that obsessed over me for several years. She was a great “friend with benefits.” And there was the psychopath who was 5’11, had short brown hair, glasses, and farted in the restaurant, loudly, multiple times mind you, while we were on our date. She obsessed over me and became a full blown stalker for a brief period of time after I called it off. But that’s a tale for another time.
Why am I bringing this up?
It’s the price of admission when you date a lot. It’s the price you pay when you get to know women and their nature. Again, it’s not a boast. In some ways it can be a “curse” of sorts. You spend enough time getting to know women and you learn what AWALT (All Women Are Like That) really means. Of course each woman is unique and brings her own unique life experiences and thoughts to the table. Every woman is different. And yet, all women are like that. You learn that they are all neurotic to some degree, and I mean all of them. You learn that even the most secure woman is insecure, way beyond your average guy. You learn that when you don’t give a fuck, they do. You learn that they will bend over backwards to please you, if you just let them. And you’ll learn that they’ll leave if and when they get bored.
Can men obsess over women? Of course they can. It’s what we call Oneitis. I’ve obsessed over three women to one degree or another over the entirety of my life. My first Oneitis was when I was 18 and she was 16. She was my first real relationship and she was the one who took my virginity. That relationship lasted about a year and a half.
My second Oneitis was when I was 23 and the woman was 27. I met her on the job. She had Michelle Pfeiffer eyes and long, almost to the middle of her waist, blonde hair. She was my first blonde. She was also the first woman to ever give me head and make me come from giving me head. No woman had been able to do that before her.
My last Oneitis was my girlfriend from after my divorce. She was the one that was 20 years younger than me. I loved her harder than any woman before or since her. She truly fired all of my “switches.” No woman is perfect, and God knows, I’m no saint or perfect either, but this woman was about as close to perfect, at least for me, as you could get.
Before I met her, I was “spinning plates” and she was one of them. We did the monogamy thing for a couple of years and I even moved her in. Things were great until they weren’t. And that’s how life goes. That’s how relationships can go. I’ve met plenty of women since the end of 2018, slept with many of them too. And all women are like that.
Maybe I’m a bit jaded at this point. I’m not cynical by any means and I do enjoy the company of women. I’ve just seen the patterns, I’ve seen the trends. They happen like clockwork almost. It doesn’t matter their background, their age, their life experiences. Some obsess, some don’t. All of them want to know “where is this going?” eventually.
I’ve done enough dating to realize that I don’t have any “obsession” left in me anymore. Maybe there is a limit to how many times a man can obsess and get hung up on a woman and then he realizes that, “Oh! They’re all like that.” Maybe it’s also that you can only have your heart broken so many times before you just don’t have that in you anymore. I still feel “pain” and disappointment when a relationship ends, it’s just not devastating anymore. Why is that? For me, it’s because there is always another woman.
There’s a young guy talking to me via my DM’s on Twitter. He’s 21 and he’s dating a woman who is 31. She is his first when it comes to losing his virginity. He’s got Oneitis for her. He’s afraid of losing her. In a way, he’s obsessed with her. I feel for him, I really do. I remember what it was like when I was 21 and young and inexperienced with women and the world. I don’t want to sound cold and compassionless to him, but I do want to tell him, “Dude, your fear of losing her is what is going to drive her away.”
“If you are afraid that she is going to break up with you, break up with her first. It sounds crazy and counterintuitive, but seriously, break up with her first.”
“The best way to get over a woman is to get under another one, and keep getting under new and different one’s until that Oneitis is gone. Get enough experience to realize that women really all are like that. Pay the price of admission. It sounds bad, but it really isn’t. Each woman you meet and have some sort of relationship with will teach you about her, about you, and about women in general. You’ll realize eventually that they all are really like that and when you are up inside them, they all pretty much feel the same. Realize that there is always another woman. It’s like getting off of a bus. You get off one and 20 minutes later, another one shows up and you get on and go on an adventure until you decide to get off or the driver boots your ass off for whatever reason. So you get off and wait around for about 20 minutes or so, and another one shows up. And that’s life pretty much.”
Pay the price of admission and you learn that there’s no real reason or way that you can take any one woman too seriously. Because they are all like that.
Pay the price of admission. It may make you somewhat jaded and it could even make you somewhat cynical, but honestly it’s worth the price.