“Trevor” And Single Mom’s

I wrote about “Trevor” awhile ago.

Well, he’s “back” and with more updates.

A little backstory though:

“Trevor” turned 29 this year and his blushing bride is 28. They got married on September 15th of this year as you can see in the photo above. She’s a bit on the “chunky” side. Oh and she already has a 3 year old son. And she wants more kids.

“Trevor” went out on route with me today, that’s how I know his and her age, that she was a single mom, that she wants more kids, oh and they are having “financial difficulties” already.

I’m not terribly surprised about the financial stuff. “Trevor” has made a series of mistakes when it comes to his finances and his purchases over the past four years that I have known him. Let’s just say that he’s up to his eyeballs in debt. I can only imagine what her financial situation is.

I do know, from the mouth of “Trevor,” that he makes significantly more than she does, and that they are drowning financially at the moment. They have barely been married a month and are already having disputes and arguments over money. He’s trying to pay the bills, she wants to spend money that they don’t have doing “something fun.”

“Trevor” told me while on route that he and his wife had an argument over money earlier this week and that she’s pissed at him. “I guess we’ll just never do anything fun.” This is what he told me that she said to him. I can only imagine the attitude and tonality that went with it.

“Trevor” has been married barely a month and he’s already starting to regret it. It took me at least a couple of years before I started doubting my marriage, and look what happened there. And yes, it was primarily over money.

“Trevor” isn’t a bad looking guy. Yes, he’s a “thin-skinned man,” like I said in my prior post about him, but I think he means well for the most part. The problem is, he doesn’t see that he has options. Why else would he marry an overweight single mother?

Why would any man marry a single mother unless they don’t think that they have any other options? I’m not attacking or shitting on single mothers, but I can’t think of any real reason why a man who has options would choose that option.

All of the guys that I know personally that chose to marry a single mother couldn’t see that they had any other options. And most of them still don’t see it. Some of them have gone so long that they don’t really have any other options at this point in their lives, and so begins or continues their lives of “quiet desperation.”

When I got married back in 2009, I was one of those guys. I didn’t think or see that I had any other options, and so I “did what everyone did because that’s what you do,” and I married a single mother. It was a slow, silent descent into my own personal hell that I had created for myself. I loved her for “what was on the inside, because looks fade.” “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” right?

Except, “what about what really, truly mattered to me?” What about my and our financial situation? What about what actually turned me on? What about my life and my own happiness? Those were questions at that time that I had never asked myself, and no one else ever bothered to ask me about them either.

The first couple of years of my marriage were good, and then just okay, and ultimately I wanted out, any way that I could, up to and including, death. So I got divorced instead of taking my own life because I knew that I had more living to do. The slow death of my life, one day at a time, wasn’t fast enough.

“Trevor” is going to go down that same road most likely. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. And he just got married a month ago. I guess the honeymoon is already over. Is he done fucking his life up yet? I don’t know, but I doubt it. I imagine that he and his blushing bride will have a child of their own in the near future, and then “Trevor” will be truly fucked, at least for a while.

I don’t have a problem with single moms as I have said on podcasts and livestreams. Some of the best sex of my life came from single moms. And let’s be honest shall we? Let’s look at the positive side of dating and fucking a single mother:

  1. They have fucked in the past and most likely enjoyed it. The proof of their “deed” is one or more bundles of joy that you may or may not have to interact with.
  2. They are busy and their time is limited. That means that they aren’t necessarily calling, texting, or taking up too much of your time as they are busy with raising their children, dealing with work, and have lives of their own.
  3. They seldom flake. At least that has been my experience. Since their time is limited, they tend not to squander it. But then again, your mileage may vary.

That all being said, and yes, it’s a rather short list now that I look at it, I would never marry or cohabitate with a single mother again. I would never commit to monogamy with one again. Been there, done that.

I have seen the “guys shitting on single mom’s” on the internet again. What is old is new. I guess I’m throwing my own two cents in on the matter and adding to the dogpile now. I don’t like the idea that I’m “shitting on them,” because I don’t think that I am.

I’m just being honest. I wouldn’t commit to, cohabitate, and I would definitely never marry a single mother again.

Will the single mother’s “out there” find someone that they can call their own? I’m sure that the great majority of them will. There’s always a man out there who doesn’t see his own worth and value that will happily take up the yoke of provisioning and providing. There’s always a “dutiful beta” waiting in the wings. Rest assured, single mothers’, you’ll be fine.

But I do wonder if he’ll end up being what it is that you are truly looking for? Or will the cycle just keep going for you? (AF/BB) It’s a rhetorical question that I’m asking, of course.

The honest and truthful answer is that the cycle will continue without end, amen.

What am I going to about “Trevor?” Absolutely nothing. He gets to burn. It’s his hole that he has dug for himself and he gets to dig himself out of it if he so desires. I simply told him, “Congratulations on your marriage, I wish you both the best.” And I meant it. I do wish both of them the best. I just don’t see that happening, but then again, stranger things have happened.

And when “Trevor” told me about their already strained disputes, all I could think of to say was, “I’m sorry to hear that man, that sucks.” And I meant that too. It does suck. But it’s not my problem.

2 thoughts on ““Trevor” And Single Mom’s

    • She is.
      The choices we make and the things we do, and the things we get ourselves into and put up with, all because we don’t or can’t see that we have other options.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s