Maybe It’s You.

A Conversation between “Velvet” and me.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Alan Watts lately. Who is he? He’s a guy that back in the ’60’s did a lot of recordings of lectures on Taoism, Zen, and a lot of stuff that came from the Far East. He was a Westerner that was able to break down Eastern philosophy in ways that Western people could understand and comprehend.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to go all “woo-woo” on you. But I do like to ponder what this guy had to say. One of the things he mentioned was that thoughts and words are, and have, their own reality. Your thoughts not only create a reality, but have their own reality.

I thought a lot about this, and I have to say that Mr. Watts was correct.

Too many guys get caught up in intellectualism and are too caught up in their heads. Their thoughts and the words that make their thoughts have their own reality and create a reality for the thinker.

What sounds more liberating and “freeing” to you?:

“Women are the most responsible teenager in the house. They are goofy and don’t know what they want, but they are friendly and fun to be around.”

Or:

“It’s society’s fault. Feminism ruined women for men. Technology has further corrupted them and today’s modern culture has made them more undesirable than ever.”

I hate to break it to you, bro:

Maybe it’s not technology, or society or culture. Maybe it’s you.

I have seen a lot of guys recently blame Feminism, technology, society, and culture for the errant ways of women. But maybe it’s you.

“You don’t understand, Rob. You don’t live where I live.”

True, I don’t. But I do know that human nature, and women’s nature if we are going to get more specific, is universal. I do know that if I were to come to your “magic ball of dirt” area, I would find women to be basically the same as they are where I live. Give me a week to get settled into an area and find “where all the wahmen at,” and within another week at most, I’ll be pulling friendly, sexy women who want to fuck and to date, back to my place.

That’s because I made a choice a while back:

My life is my fault.

I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and so I had to make some changes.

I lost some weight. Not that I was planning on doing that, but I did. It helped. Quite a bit actually, but it wasn’t enough.

I changed how I looked at women.

I can’t change women, nor would I want to, if I’m being honest. I just decided that they are what they are, I stopped trying to fully understand them, and I chose to engage them. I also decided to “put my dick on the table” and see where it went.

Since 2019, I have met over 20 different women. Not all of those meetings ended up with me getting laid. 12 of them did, and 2022 isn’t over yet. I’m not bragging about my numbers, I’m really not. Averaging 4 women a year isn’t an incredible feat in my own estimation, but it’s better than zero. It’s better for me that I get laid than I don’t get laid. I also tend to date women for “the long haul.” My belly dancer and I have been seeing each other for over a year now, and I’m still meeting, seeing, dating, and fucking other women.

I saw Teriyaki for almost a year before I pulled the plug on that relationship. I like to keep women around me. I like to see returns on my efforts. What I don’t do is blame technology, location (magic dirt), society, and culture for my lack of success with women. My lack of success in the past was all my fault. I was the common denominator. It was because I was a pussy and was terrified of women when I was younger.

I was terrified of women because I grew up with a controlling mother. But I got through that. If you want to have success, however you define it, with women, you have to get through it too. I know a few guys who had or have controlling mothers. I get it. Hearing their stories, I can relate. Some of their mothers were not as severe as mine, and some of them were way more severe. They made my mother look like a saint.

It doesn’t matter how severe or not your mother is or was. YOU have to get through it. Rian Stone doesn’t really care for therapy, and generally I agree with him, but on this particular subject, you can’t “lift your way” out of years of bullshit. I know I couldn’t, and so I got help. Lifting and working out is a great way to get in shape and may help battle things like depression, but it won’t teach you Game. Lifting won’t help teach you how to get “good” with women. Therapy won’t teach you Game either, but once you get through your “Mommy issues,” you can then move on to learning what works and what doesn’t. That’s what I did.

Women aren’t the enemy. You are.

Your thoughts about women and what you think they are, is the enemy.

They are what they are, it’s their nature. Nothing more, nothing less. You can blame hypergamy, which has been a part of the female condition since the dawn of time. You can blame technology and how “horrible” women have become (in your own eyes.) You can blame society and culture, how the “West has Fallen.” You can blame the area you live in, “Dude, you don’t live here.” I’m sorry, bro, that’s a cope. You don’t live in a vacuum. Your “magic dirt” is no different than mine.

Dante, who is writing for my blog, and is a damn good writer I might add, is over in the Philippines. He’s out meeting women when he gets a chance. He gives field reports on a regular basis based on what he is seeing and getting. The women over there are no different than the women here in the West. Same shit, different day. Sorry bro, your “magic dirt” isn’t holding water.

Maybe it’s you.

It’s hard to look into the mirror and say that your life is your fault, but it is. It’s not your controlling mother’s fault, it’s not technologies fault, it’s definitely not society’s or culture’s fault, it’s not where you live, your “magic dirt’s” fault, it’s yours.

It’s far easier to blame everything else outside of you for your lack of success, whether it be with women or otherwise, but more often than not, it’s you. YOU are the common denominator in your life. YOU are the common denominator when it comes to interacting with women. Maybe, just maybe, it’s you.

One thought on “Maybe It’s You.

  1. Damn Rob, another post that is dead on. You speak to men dating, but the same goes for married guys. Many of them blame their wives for being relegated to a birthday hand job. In reality for most men, their problem stares back at them in the mirror each morning. But it’s easier to blame women, feminism, communism, or whatever excuse they come up with than examining your own flaws, short comings and failures. Great post

    Like

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