Anyone who has been following my blog/site for awhile knows that I use Online Dating almost exclusively. I neither have the time, energy, or money to be chasing women around on the street, the grocery store, or in bars (“Day Game/Cold Approach” or “Night Game.”) Yes, I’m aware of the shortcomings of Online Dating and I’m fully aware that Online Dating can be a “buffer” from actual interactions with women. This isn’t a post about “what is ‘king’ when it comes to meeting women.”
This is a post about how most texting advice is complete garbage.
The only advice I have found written down somewhere else by someone else that has been effective is the “2/3rd’s Rule” by Roissy. That rule basically states that you give her 2/3rd’s of what she gives you. So less is more. I do agree with this. Most of the other shit I’ve seen is useless at best and will get you stepping on your own dick at worst. Too many guys complicating something that isn’t that complicated.
Here’s why most texting advice is garbage:
It’s not context dependent.
Every woman and every context is going to be different. Some women have a lot of time on their hands and spend a lot of time texting. Some have lives, jobs, and offline activities and don’t have a lot of time to text. You won’t know unless you get to know her, which is the paradox.
So “what to do?”
Other than the “2/3rd’s Rule,” I say do whatever works. There are no rules.
A more recent example that came up for me was matching with a woman from Venezuela. Her English is terrible, but it’s better than my Spanish. She comes from a completely different culture. She works two jobs. One full time and another that is practically full time. She doesn’t have a lot of time to be hanging around on social media and texting. I only found this out by actually getting to know her.
That advice that you hear about “if she takes two hours to text you back, so you wait two hours or more to text her back” is bullshit. That’s stepping on your own dick stuff right there. “Leaving her on read” is another one.
I know this because initially I thought of doing all of these things with this woman. I could hear “alfa male 2.0” telling me what I should do. I decided to follow my own advice instead.
So when “Arielle” (that’s what I’m going to call her) took forever to text me back, I didn’t overanalyze it and think it to death. I just did my own thing, I didn’t obsess over it or worry about it. Which you shouldn’t be doing either, by the way. When “Arielle” texted about being a “strong and independent woman,” I didn’t worry about that either. I just smirked to myself and said to myself, “That’s cute.” And then I invited her to meet up.
I’m glad that she accepted, because the woman she portrayed in text was a lot different than the woman who showed up in front of me. “Arielle” on paper or pixels could be seen as a feminist wet dream. The reality is that she is very VERY submissive. All of that posturing went out the window when she and I locked eyes.
If I had followed the texting advice from guys online, I would have stepped on my own dick and ruined any chance of meeting this woman. And not just her, but many, many women before her. I’ve read a bunch of “guides” in the past and like I’ve said, most of it is garbage because it’s not context dependent. Every woman is going to be different and every situation is going to somewhat different.
So are there some “Hard and Fast Rules?”
The short answer is both a yes and a no.
In general, the only rule is that there are no rules. Text back quickly if the context warrants it. Use emoji’s if that’s your thing. I do. I use them all the time and to great effect. The 2/3rd’s Rule is about the only thing that I would say is to your benefit. Less is more. Also another thing that Roissy brought up that works here as well as in real life is “Unless you are fucking her, everything is amusing, interesting, or irrelevant.” Don’t read into her texts. Keep it entertaining for you and for her. Be smirking and laughing on the inside when you are dealing with her through texts. Enjoy your texts with her, play and banter with her. Flirt with her. Save the “heavy conversations” for after sex, and in real life.
And for God’s sake, take what guys who have “Texting Guides” say with a grain of salt.