Rian Stone put out a video recently, and in my own opinion, it is possibly his best one to date. He has really grown as a video creator/editor and the message that he’s relaying to the watcher is very succinct, point blank, and it’s also something that is very important and is almost never talked about.
Early Frame Announcement or EFA is something that was brought up in the book, Practical Female Psychology. I have a copy of this book as I’m sure that Rian does too. I highly, highly recommend getting a copy of this book if you haven’t and read it. As far as I know, the author’s are the first one’s to bring up EFA. Hell, they may have coined the term for all I know.
I’m not going to go into EFA because Rian talks about it better than I could and it’s discussed thoroughly in Practical Female Psychology. I am however, going to tie something into it.
Let’s talk about “Rules…”
Now rules may or may not be a part of EFA. I’m not saying they are and I’m not saying they aren’t. I think that “rules” are at least a part or a manifestation of EFA, but I’m not here to split hairs and get bogged down in details and get into arguments. I’m here to show you what I have observed and how I deal with it. That’s it. So if you want to argue points with me about what EFA is or isn’t, know right now, I’m going to ignore you because I don’t care.
So what are “Rules?” Rules are those things that she says will or will not happen if and/or when you meet. Rules work in her favor because she is the one who created them. Here’s a couple of examples:
Me: “What are you looking for?”
Her: “Friendship first, and then we’ll see where it goes from there.”
Also her: “I don’t kiss on the first date.”
Also her: “I don’t share.”
You get the idea I hope.
I’m not including the “list,” which is the whole thing that most guys get all hung up on. You know:
At least 6 feet tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income, 6 inches in the pants, at least 6 months out of a relationship, and I believe 600 hundred horsepower under the hood.
Honestly, you can ignore her list. I do. She needed to put something in her profile to fill up the characters and so that’s what she put in order to finish her profile. Pay it no mind. If you do and you realize that you don’t meet most or all of the “list,” all you are doing is weeding yourself out for her and making her job and her life easier. Why do that? Why give her the reason not to fuck you? Let her figure that out for herself.
But back to “Rules…”
In my experience, “Rules” aren’t necessarily what she puts in a profile, although she can, but it’s usually what she says to you, either via written form like text, or she says it verbally over the phone or in person. This is where I think “Rules” fall under EFA. She’s telling you who she is and how things are going to go if you go along with her. She’s setting the frame and she’s setting it early. Like Rian said in his video, “Just believe her.” If she says, “friendship first,” just believe her. If she says, “I don’t kiss on a first date,” just believe her.
And then act accordingly.
Here’s my experience with dealing with women who have “Rules…”
If she gives you one rule, she’s going to give you two rules.
If she gives you two rules, she’s going to give you a thousand rules.
And if you go along with it in hopes of getting what you want (most likely that coveted, “golden pussy”) you are implicitly agreeing to not only her first and second rule, but to all of her rules.
Welcome to being in her frame.
What do you get when you get a woman with “Rules?” More rules. That’s it. Ask me how I know.
I have only one “Rule” when it comes to women and dating:
There are no rules.
I wrote about the “bitter, angry Jew” awhile back. She is a fantastic example of what I’m talking about here. She had rules. Lots of rules. Rules, regulations, and restrictions. Everything had to be a certain way, everything had to happen at a certain time and temperature (I’m not exaggerating about the temp thing, that was a real thing for her) and basically the fucking stars had to align in order for anything to happen between us. Long story short, she was open to the idea of meeting and fucking, but there were “rules.” Guess who didn’t meet up with her and get laid?
A lot of guys in the ‘Sphere, when they encounter a woman with “Rules” will fall back on something Rollo wrote:
“She will break rules for Alpha’s and make rules for Beta’s.” Or something like that. And then they will get all stuck in their heads about does she consider them an alpha or a beta and the whole “I won’t do (insert whatever here) with you.”
Guys, I don’t care if she considers me an alpha or a beta. I don’t care if she will make or break rules for me. You shouldn’t either as far as I’m concerned. All I care about is that there are no rules.
If I want to kiss her on the first date, I’m going to do that. It’s a great way for me to gauge her actual interest in me. It let’s me know if she’s a good kisser or not. It let’s me know how sensual she is. It shows me how uptight or not she is. It shows me if she has “genuine desire” or not. So that first kiss is kind of a big deal to me. Sometimes I get that kiss on the first time meeting her, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m not feeling it at the moment and so I let it pass. There will be another time in the near future where it will get there.
But if she tells me, “I don’t kiss on the first date,” I can promise you and her that there won’t be a second date. That’s even if we made it as far as the first date. If she tells me that she doesn’t kiss on the first date before we have even met, we won’t be meeting, it’s that simple.
Same goes with the whole, “friendship first” rule. She brings that up, it’s a rule. And where’s there’s one rule, there’s a thousand rules.
Baby, I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to be your lover. You want a friend, get a dog.
So learn to recognize when she’s giving you “rules.” And what happens when she gives you one rule? She’ll give you a thousand rules. And if you go along with the first rule in hopes of getting whatever it is that you want from her, you are implicitly agreeing to all of her rules. Welcome to being in her frame.
3 thoughts on ““Rules” and EFA”
This is kind of like ignore what she says, pay attention to her actions. For any married guys out there this rules thing, with some modifications, applies to you too. Read it and live it. Your life will become so much less complicated when you stop getting hung up on her words.
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The way I see it, EFA is a way women communicate what they’re really about. I 1,000% agree with your dismissal of rules. But there are other things women communicate that can tell a guy what he’s in for.
I know a girl who owns a souped up car with all the expensive bells and whistles (even though she doesn’t like to drive). She has a sign that says something like “work hard so you can shop hard”, and once we had a conversation where I think she was trying to tease out how comfortable I am financially. EFA: She’s very materialistic, and that needs to be taken into account if you want to deal with her long term.
Ignore these signs at your peril.
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Absolutely. 💯 👊👍