You can find The Forgotten Man, Part 1 here.
Nobody likes to be invisible, NOBODY.
I have been thinking more about the Forgotten Man, and I remember that I wrote a post about Dustin, a while back. There is great power and great pain when you ignore somebody. The same can be said for someone that just simply isn’t seen until needed. Like I just mentioned, nobody likes to be invisible. Unless you are either a spy collecting information and secrets, or if you are up to no good.
From what I gather, the most “cruel” punishment that can be doled out in prison is solitary confinement. Guys who “go in the hole” for an extended period of time come out “off.” We are social creatures, we want to be seen and to know that we matter. Why do you think guys are yammering on incessantly on social media about whatever their pet projects are? They want to be seen. They want to know that they matter. That’s probably the biggest part of why stupid things like semen retention and “My Legacy” are a thing. It’s guys wanting to get attention. Just like attention is the coin of the realm in girlworld (h/t Rollo T) it’s pretty much the same for men.
I’m beginning to think that all of these so-called “Alpha Males” are nothing more than feminized men. But that’s another topic for another time.
If we as Men are the Forgotten, if we are the Invisible, if we are truly the Epsilon class of society, which let’s be honest, most of us are, what do we do about it? What can be done? How can we be Remembered?
I’m being more rhetorical here, to be honest. But it is a legitimate question. Some guys think that they will be remembered because they became Dad’s and threw a ball around with their kids when their kids were young. They might be remembered. Or maybe their kids will tell Dad to go pound sand and disappear, never to be seen or heard from again. What I call a “Hard Rebellion” is a real thing. Your children aren’t an extension of you, they are their own persons, with their own thoughts, wants, and desires. You as the Father may not have any part in those thoughts, wants, or desires.
When we hear about atrocities such as mass shootings, most of the general public is shocked and horrified. How could something like this happen? It must be that “toxic masculinity” that’s been going around like a virus. Did you ever stop and think that maybe the shooter was Forgotten? That he, and let’s be honest, I don’t hear about a lot of women mass shooters, got tired of being Unseen?
I’m not defending the mass shooters actions, I’m simply saying that maybe being Forgotten, being Unseen, being Invisible, took a toll on the psyche of the shooter to the point that the individual decided that he wanted to be Seen, no matter the cost?
Being Invisible, being Forgotten, being Unseen is a slow death.
It’s mentally painful. It’s excruciating.
You try to be Seen and Heard. Nobody hears or sees you. So you wave your arms higher and more vigorously. You shout and scream louder. Nobody hears you or sees you, because everybody else is screaming and shouting and waving their arms too. So for some, you do the unthinkable. Agree or disagree, it’s an effective way to be noticed. Even if only for a moment. And for some, that brief moment is enough.
Living life as a Forgotten Man is living a life of quiet desperation. It’s a life where you smile on the outside because you don’t want to burden others with your troubles and because people get scared when they see that thousand yard stare in your eyes. It’s when someone asks how you are doing and you default to the answer of, “I’m fine.” Because people get uncomfortable when you say, “My life fucking sucks.” They don’t know how to respond to that brutal honesty.
I put up a little meme in a few posts a while ago:
And I still stand by this picture.
Most Forgotten Men fall under the first category, and I won’t lie to you, it’s a feat to get out of that one. It isn’t easy. But if and when you do get out of it and you can get yourself truly into the second category, that’s when you are truly free. You can be free and Forgotten and it doesn’t matter. You can do what you want, when you want, with who you want, and you’ll be good with that. You get to a point where you can watch what other people are saying and doing in order to be heard and seen and you end up just rolling your eyes and laughing to yourself. Because nobody gives a shit.
Nobody gives a shit about your kids except you. Nobody gives a shit about your Legacy except you. Nobody gives a shit about your problems, including the fact that you are Forgotten and Invisible, except you. And it’s okay.
I hope more Forgotten Men see this post and know that being Forgotten, being Invisible, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Being Forgotten and Invisible has its perks. You get to see and hear things that if you were Seen and Remembered, people wouldn’t be saying and doing those things around you. You get to see people how they truly are, what they truly think, how they truly act. You can go through life practically undetected and get away with things that those who are Seen and Remembered can’t do or get away with.
While living as Forgotten and Invisible can be a prison in its own right, living under a spotlight is a prison and a hell of its own.