It’s damn near impossible to sell something to you.
I made a tweet a couple of days ago, saying “If by saving the west, you mean: semen retention, sunning your asshole, ‘don’t lean in bro!’ and what is or isn’t alfa, I’d rather let the fucker burn.” I got the reply above.
“What if saving the West just involves being a good man, husband, and father?”
That’s great if that is what you want, but why should I be on board with that?
What is in it for me?
I’ll be the first one to admit: I’m not a “team player.” Actually, I take that back. I am a team player, I play for team ME.
Monogamy and children and being a husband aren’t for me, so what else do you have? Your religion, whatever flavor it is, doesn’t interest me, so again I ask, what do you have?
What do you have that would be of interest to me?
As a side note: notice the use of the words, “good man.” Being a “good man” is a moralistic definition. I guarantee you that your definition of being a “good man” is going to be different from mine. So who is “right?” You are, of course. At least to you. But not to me. For me, I am right.
To quote Jack Donovan:
There’s being a good man, and there’s being good at being a man.
One is defined by morality and the other is defined by action and capability. If you don’t have capability and the ability to take action, being a good man becomes a moot point. A man that is capable and is willing to use violence may not be a “good man,” but he’s good at being a man. I’ll take him as an ally over a good man any day of the week.
Which brings me back to where I started:
What’s in it for me? You have your cause, you have your beliefs, you have whatever it is that you want me to sign up for, to buy, to get on board with. But what is in it for me? If you can figure that one out, you’ll have an interested buyer and possibly a great ally in me. Until you figure that one out though, go pound sand.
“Your duty as a man…” Dude, go fuck off.
You don’t get to decide what my “duty” is. Go fuck yourself. My “duty” is to me and mine and that is it. Period. Full stop. Struggle, pain, honor. Nice container words that are absolute nonsense and bullshit. What’s in it for me to consider anything that you are flapping your gums about? What do I get out of it?
Struggle? Pain? Fucking “honor?” Coming out the “other side as a better man?” Like I’ve said before: Nobody gives a shit about your struggles. Nobody gives a shit about your pain. And what is a “better man?” I’m sure you have your own convenient definition that will have absolutely nothing to do with my own definition of what is “better.”
Here’s the truth about your “honor”:
“Stand in the ASHES of a TRILLION dead SOULS and ASK the ghosts if HONOR MATTERS. Their SILENCE is your ANSWER.”
Brilliant. Brilliant because it is true. Nobody gives a shit about “honor” but you. The only time “honor” matters is when it gets you what you want.
None of my ancestors, deceased friends or family have come back from the grave to talk to me about honor, virtue, or anything for that matter. They haven’t come back because they are dead. The dead don’t care about the affairs of the living. The dead don’t care about anything and that’s because they are dead. Sell your shame and after-life fantasies to someone else, I’m not interested in them.
How about thinking for yourselves for once in your life? Instead of asking what to think, how about figuring out how to think? One thing I’ve noticed over time is that guys with the least amount of experience in whatever topic it is, are the one’s that are most likely going to tell you what to think about it. Instead of encouraging you to learn how to think for yourselves, they are going to teach you what to think instead. Of course, what they are going to teach you to think benefits them.
But what’s in it for me? How does them telling me what to think benefit me?
Here’s a hard lesson to swallow:
Most guys don’t want to think for themselves, they don’t want to think at all. They want to be told what to think and be told what to do. Like a good little follower. Like good little sheep. Like cannon fodder. Most guys aren’t looking to lead, they are looking to be lead. Like Rian says in the above tweet, “You want a shepherd, not a family.”
Most guys are looking for their mother’s in their girlfriends and in their wives. Most guys are looking for their father’s in either some random asshole on the internet, or in the idea of some higher being known as “god.” You are the only “god” that exists. Figure out your own rules and live by them.
Figure out how to think instead of looking for someone else to tell you what to think. When you figure this one out, you’ll see that most everything else, especially on social media is set against you. It’s geared to get you to not think. It’s geared to get you emotional and to get you to buy. Or to get you on board with whatever the latest “cause” is.
Think about that the next time some outfit selling razors shits on men. Think about that the next time some outrage over children dancing seductively on camera comes up. Think about that with anything that deals in politics. It’s all designed to get you to not think. It’s designed to get you to what to think, instead of how to think.
As for me, I want for nothing. I’m happy with my life. I’m good where I am and with what I’m doing. I’m good with the state of affairs when it comes to men and women. I don’t have a problem with dating and having sex. It’s easier now for me than when I was in my 20’s. I don’t have a problem with longer term relationships either, they are easier now for me than when I was in my 20’s and 30’s.
My struggles are minimal and nobody except me, cares about them anyway. Why would I possibly want to change any of it? What’s in it for me?
I know the things that I do want, and for you reading this, I’m not going to hand them to you on a silver platter. Figure it out. Do the work. You’ll get a loyal friend, ally, lover, buyer, customer, whatever it is that you want, if you do.
Until then, what’s in it for me? You don’t know what that is? Go pound sand. I’m not interested.
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2 thoughts on “When You Want For Nothing…”
Well said Rob. I’d like to try to help men get to a good place, but they either are full of excuses or “honor”. At the end of fix yourself first is “What if she doesn’t care?” That separates the men from the boys. Are you willing to walk away? If so, it will suck but you own your life. If you aren’t, then continue in you misery. You know what to do, you just need the nads to do it. Being a good husband and father isn’t going to save shit with the definition most men have of that. Being a good husband father and man is sometimes being seen as an asshole and being okay with it. Nobody can save the west at this point.. all you can do is save yourself and those willing to follow you.
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