I went to a couple of bars with a friend of mine this last Saturday night. It was the first time that I have been to a bar since the pandemic. There were a few slight changes that I noticed from the pre-pandemic days. Masks were required for entry and for when you were wandering around, but while you were sitting at your own table with your group, you didn’t need to wear it. Which leads me to believe that the whole mask thing is nothing but a bunch of bullshit.
That’s not the point of this post.
My friend and I were talking more or less all night long about women. His goal from the time that I have known him is that he wants “younger, hotter, tighter.” Why wouldn’t he? What’s not to want? Problem with my friend is that he’s in his head too much.
He would say all sorts of things to me and I would respond over and over with, “Yeah, but did you approach?” Of course he didn’t. I got so frustrated a few times that I wanted to punch him.
I’ve learned that guys will talk themselves out of damn near anything and everything.
I finally got to a point where I told him, “Dude, if you see a girl you like, just say hi. That’s it. Don’t worry about what else to say, don’t worry about how you are going to come off. Just smile and say hi. Then walk away. Do you think you can do that?”
Everybody has to start somewhere and when I first started learning about my own approach and social anxiety, that’s where I started. I would just smile and say hi and then go on my way. When that got to be no big deal, I would then add things to it and before too long I was having conversations with complete strangers. Sometimes those conversations went somewhere, sometimes they didn’t.
It was getting towards the end of the night and we were sitting there, getting ready to leave when this redhead early 20-something walks by and my friend says, “Hi!” to her as she and her friends are leaving. The girl stops, looks at him, her face lit up and she says “Hi!” back to him. He proceeds to say something along the lines of “How are you doing? What are you up to?” And the girl walks over to him/us. She starts talking and of course, her cockblocking fat friend shows up, grabs her by the arm and tells her, “C’mon we’re going.” And drags her off. Right on schedule.
Not two fucking minutes later though, the redhead came back.
“Let me give you my phone number.” My friend handed her his phone and she put her number in it and told him her name was Hailey and that she wanted to talk to him. She then proceeded to leave as the cockblocker was making her way back to her.
If my friend had told me this story, I wouldn’t have believed it. Except I was sitting there, heard it with my own two ears and saw it with my own two eyes. I’m not leaving any details out, this is literally what happened, it’s literally the whole conversation that happened between the two of them.
He said “Hi!” She said “Hi!” The cockblocker showed up and whisked PYT away and PYT came back and gave him her phone number without him asking for it. I’m not exaggerating.
Was my friend simply the right guy at the right place at the right time? Probably. It definitely wasn’t because he had tight game and gave her some killer routine or that he looked like Chad Thundercock because he doesn’t. It all started because he chose to nut up, stop being a pussy, and he said hi.
One thing I can fucking guarantee you though is this: If he hadn’t said “Hi” to her, nothing would have happened whatsoever.
I’m so happy he did something. I feel like a Dad watching his kid ride a bicycle without the training wheels for the first time. I’m so happy for him, it was almost like it was me who got the number.
I’m sure there are plenty of naysayers who will say some stupid fucking shit like, “She probably does that with all the guys she meets.” Or something like, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day.” You know what? Who cares? Sit back in the cheap seats and Monday night quarterback this all you want. At least my friend had the courage to actually try instead of just talking about it or bitching and moaning about “wahmen bad.”
“Don’t care, got laid.” – Rian Stone
Never tell me the odds that you can or can’t do something because you’ll be right. If you don’t think you can, you’re right. If you don’t think something is attainable, you’re right. Who am I to try and convince you one way or another about your point of view that you so desperately cling to?
I’m so proud of my friend for taking a chance and getting out of his comfort zone for just a moment. Will he and that girl end up going anywhere or doing anything? Who knows? That’s up to them. It could go in any direction. I’m just glad he took a chance, otherwise she would have been the girl that he talked about later that he wished he had said something to and didn’t.
Well done my Friend, well done.
Next time, after you say “Hi,” you can think of something else to say or you can’t just listen to her blather on, because they do. Don’t worry about fucking it up because you probably will, and that’s okay because nobody is watching and nobody gives a shit.