Tag: success with women

Do You Even “Like” Women? Part 2

Rob Says3 Comments
woman sitting on bench
Got Your Fucking Attention, Didn’t I?

Larryzb commented on my post: Of course, the question arises: Do women even know how to love men these days? Have you taken that one up previously?

And I responded with: My experience recently is that they can and do, just not in ways that we as Men want or expect.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t taken this one up previously. So I’m going to give my two cents on it now.

My response is what I have seen, and yes, I’m ripping off Rollo. Why? Because he’s right. Women can’t love men the way we as men want them to. For a lot of years, most of my life even, I’ve wanted women to love me the way that I love them. Idealistically. Passionately. Even fatalistically. I wanted them to take a bullet for me. I wanted them to cry to me their undying love for me. I wanted them to kill themselves for me. Because at least for me, back in the day, I would have done all of that for them. And more.

Pathetic? Yes. Sad? Yes. Sad but true. And then I woke up.

Women will never be able to love us the way that we want them to. That doesn’t mean that they can’t love us. They can only love us how they love us. That’s a shitty answer, I know. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. And I know that it’s a kind of circular answer too. They can only love us how they love us. Guys, I’m not a woman, and I can’t read their minds. I don’t know “how” they love us per se, only that they do.

For me, I’m big on affection. I like to touch and be touched. I’m sure there’s a “system,” or a book somewhere that will happily label whatever that means. Oh! Well Rob, that means you’re…

I don’t give a fuck. I just know that I like to touch and be touched. That’s one of the ways that I know that I’m being loved. When a woman fixes me a meal. That’s another way that I know she loves me. It shows me she cares and that she cares about my well-being. It really shows up when she takes the time to make something that I really like. It shows that she put thought into it.

Oh, and time. She may not have a fuckton of it, but if she makes it a point to spend time with me, that shows me that she loves me.

Of course, terms of endearment and words of affection are nice too. Calling me baby, is one. Calling me Daddy is even better, but that’s for another post at another time.

Sometimes when she either puts her head in my lap and puts her arms around my waist, or curls up on me, like a cat, that’s a good one. Even when she puts one or both of my legs to sleep.

Do women even know how to love these days? Yes, I believe so.

I see it in their eyes when they look at me. The sparkle, the shine, the shimmer. Whatever you want to call it.

I hear it in her voice when she answers the phone when I call her. All breathless and whatnot, like she just ran a marathon to grab the phone. And of course, she answered it on the first ring.

Sometimes she’ll send me YouTube videos of some sappy love song with a comment of, “Read the lyrics.”

Or she’ll just text me out of nowhere, “Thinking of You.” With the little kissy emojicons of course.

Or she’ll shave my head for me. Because that pleases me and I like that shit. Or she’ll shower with me and wash my back and the rest of my body. Or she’ll give me a full body massage, even though I know she’s dead tired from a long day at work. And she won’t even bitch, not once.

Or she’ll bring me a beer while we are sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Without me even asking her to do it. Or she’ll whip me up a mudslide.

Sometimes it shows up in her urgency to fuck the living shit out of me. Or the blowjobs. Goddamn..The blowjobs. But Rob! That’s not love! That’s lust! Fuck off, I don’t care.

There’s all sorts of ways that women love us men. It’s just not the way that we want or expect, or even hope for sometimes. She just does it her way, the only way that she knows how.

When we can let go of our expectations that they will love us the way that we love them, life gets interesting. You get to see that they can, and do, love us. You just have to drop the expectations and let them show and tell you in their own ways.

That’s all I’ve got for you on that one. I just know the one’s that show up in my world love me, in their own ways, even if it’s not what I wished for, hoped for, or expected. I guess I just roll with it and assume that they do. That’s enough for me at least.

I guess I could do worse. I could tell myself that they don’t love me, that they don’t know how to love me, and that they are incapable of loving me. But what good is that? Where’s that going to get me? Masochistic, I tell you.

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Do You Even “Like” Women?

Rob Says11 Comments

afterglow art backlit bokeh

“A Man Who Loves Women is Loved By Women.” – Zan Perrion.
Yeah yeah, Zan has received flak for being “purple pilled.” He’s definitely got a sort of “new age sensitive guy” thing going on and he can get all metaphysical, flowery, and mystical.
He’s not wrong though.
I’ve got a serious question for you guys though. It might be one of the most serious questions of your life.
You don’t need to answer me, but you do need to answer to yourself, and be honest with yourself. There’s no wrong answer here.
Here’s the question:
Do you like women?
I’m pretty sure you guys want women for a variety of reasons. But do you like them? Or do you simply want what they can give you? Do you want something from them? No wrong answers.
I’m bracing for the inevitable, “You’re virtue signalling to the wahmen!” with my next remark, but fuck it, here it goes:
I like women. I like being around them. I like them for being them. I honestly don’t have an agenda with them.  It’s not always about attraction and sex, I just genuinely like them. Even when they say and do stupid shit.
It wasn’t always that way.
Of course I wanted sex. Who doesn’t? But I can say up until a couple of years ago, I didn’t actually like them. I didn’t trust them. I figured they had agendas (and they do, but everyone does.) Hypergamy, AWALT, branch swinging, all of that stuff. Now I know that stuff exists and I know that women can and sometimes do, some fucked up shit. But I like them anyway. It’s a conscious choice for me.
I have a friend who recently started unplugging from the matrix. He’s taking care of his weight and his diet. He’s dressing better. He’s even starting to “get back out there” as far as being around women goes.
He’s still dealing with a lot of shit though. His latest thing is his “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” thing. He’s snubbing women closer to his own (and my own) age. Basically one of those, “Ha! Fuck you ladies! You didn’t want me back when we were in our 20’s! Well you can’t have me now in our late 40’s! Suck it!”
I’m exaggerating on the language part, but that’s pretty much the mentality. I know what that’s like because I’ve been there too, in the past. But I got through it and over it. I hope he does too. Until then, he gets to burn. I’m not going to try to tell him, “Dude. What you’re doing? Yeah, that’s not it.”
Guys, if you want to get “good” with women, I want you to understand a few things:
There are no tricks, hacks, tips, magic pills, short cuts, systems, or lines that will work.
Not if you want to be “good” with women over the long haul. Yeah you might pick up a few drunk ones and maybe a couple of really adventurous ones once in awhile using lines, hacks, systems and tricks. But honestly, almost all women can smell that bullshit from miles away. I know because I’ve tried it and failed spectacularly.
First things first. You have to get your mental shit together. You have to genuinely like women. You can’t hold grudges and do this “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” bullshit with them. So whatever bullshit you have against the women from your past, you need to get through that. You need to deal with that. You need to get over it.
You have to like women in order to love women. And if and when you do, they will love you in return and that’s when things get really fun and interesting. That’s when the world opens up to you.
I’m not bullshitting you and trying to paint some bullshit fluffy picture. It’s the only way I can describe it though.
When I gave up my anger towards women and began to actually genuinely like them, I learned to love them and they loved me back, hard.
So when you see or hear guys talk about, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah lol” Dude, that’s not it.
It’s okay if you don’t like them right now. Maybe you got really fucked over. Maybe you got really fucked over more than once. I get it. I’m not judging you. You just need to be honest with yourself and where you are at right now, mentally, with women.
Do you like them? Or do you just want something from them? Sex? Validation? Cure for loneliness? A hate fuck? It’s all good by me.
Do you like talking to them because you enjoy conversing with them? Or are you trying to “seduce” them? There’s a difference here.
I’m sure that I’m going to catch heat for what I’ve said here. “You’re pedestalizing the wahmen!” “You’re making it all about the wahmen!” “You’re giving the wahmen a pass!” “Your frame! You’re losing it!” No. I’m not.
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Issues

Rob Says5 Comments

analog binder blank book

Issues. I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues. I’m not talking about things like diabetes, stage four cancer, heart disease, or even something like high blood pressure. Those are issues. Those are things that if you don’t handle them, they will eventually handle you.

I’m talking about “other” issues. I’m talking about your receding hair. I’m talking about your scars on your body. I’m talking about your crooked teeth. I’m talking about your lack of height. I’m talking about your body hair, or your lack of it. These are the issues I’m talking about.

Guys, here’s the deal:

It will only be an issue for her, if it’s an issue for you. It’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.

As Jack Napier has said many times on Red Evenings, “it’s Story Time With Rob…” So here we go.

A little while back I met a woman. She’s smart, she’s energetic, she’s vivacious. She has kept her body in great shape. She knows how to make an entrance when she walks into a room. Everybody notices her when she does it. That’s how I noticed her.

This woman and I got to bantering, teasing, shit talking each other. We were flirting. The conversation moves and flows like it does, and at some point she started talking about her scars on her body. “I look like I’ve been cut in half,” is what she said to me. That’s a direct quote. Well, that picqued my curiosity. I had to know what a woman who had been cut in half looked like. I had images in my mind that made her look atrocious. I told her I wanted to see her scars, I wanted to know what they looked like, what she looked like, and so she showed me. She lifted up her shirt to expose her flat belly, and pulled down slightly on her jeans. And there they were. The Scars.

She has had an emergency hysterectomy when she was younger. If she hadn’t had it, she might well have not lived. So here’s this scar. Sure, it’s noticable, it’s definitely there. But you know what? It wasn’t a big deal to me. She definitely didn’t look like she had been “cut in half.” I believe my words to her were, “Oh. Is that it? That’s the big show? That all you got? I’ll be honest, I’m a little disappointed, I was expecting more.”

It wasn’t a big deal to me. In fact, if I had seen it before she had ever mentioned it to me, I don’t honestly know if I would have “seen” it. Same with some scar she had on her arm from…whatever. It was barely there and if she hadn’t pointed it out, I wouldn’t have noticed it.

Then she brought up her “laugh lines and crow’s feet.” She wants to get botox injections to get rid of them because they make her look “old.” Now, if she has an actual issue with something, by all means, do something about it. But I didn’t even notice those lines around her eyes and mouth until she pointed them out to me. Personally, I don’t know what she’s going on about, she looked perfectly fine to me. Beautiful in her own way.

Guys, it’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.

I used to be hung up about my receding hair. It was an issue for me. Every time I talked to somebody, especially an attractive woman, I always thought, “they aren’t looking at me, they are looking at my receding hairline.” And they were! Because I made it an issue. So what did I do? I shaved my head. That receding hairline issue? Yeah it went away immediately. Nowadays, I know they are looking at my bald head. What else are they going to look at? My feet? Their feet? Of course I’m bald, if I was any more bald, you would be seeing my skull.

I used to make my height, or lack of it, an issue. And so it was. Everybody noticed that I was short. It was an issue because I made it an issue. Nothing I can do about it though, so I let it go, I gave it up. I stopped worrying about it and making it an issue. So did everybody else. It’s funny to me now, I mention my height and people are like, “You’re not that short! You have to be at least 5’8!” That’s how people see me now. I guess I “walk tall” and carry myself tall.

Same with my teeth. They aren’t the straightest teeth in the world. I used to let that bother me, not enough to go and get braces or orthodontic work done, but enough that I wouldn’t do a lot of open mouth smiles. I’ve learned to let that one go too and not worry about it too much. You know what I hear a lot of? “You have a beautiful smile.”

Stop making things an issue. If you are a little bit overweight, it will only show up if you make it show up. If you are grossly overweight or morbidly obese, that is an issue. That is your health on the line right there. Do something about that.

Do you have a lot of body hair like I do? Own it. Trim it up or wax it if you must, but otherwise just own it. The women that show up in my life absolutely love the fact that I’m hairy. It turns them on. They love rubbing their hands in it and playing with it. It gets them purring.

Don’t have a lot of body hair? It’s not an issue unless you make it one. The women that will show up for you will like you as you are as long as you are good with you, as long as you are comfortable in your own skin.

So you can be a short, bald, hairy guy like me and still get a lot of attention from women, because your issues aren’t issues, or you can have your issues and the women will have issues with your issues. Stop getting in your own way. Stop “stepping on your own dick.”

Here’s a little fun thing I’ve observed over time:

Every woman I’ve met, every single one of them, has their own issues. Whether it’s stretch marks, scars, cellulite, laugh lines, crows feet, crooked teeth, thinning hair, moles and freckles on their bodies, small breasts, flat ass, too big of breasts, saggy breasts, too big of an ass, or…You name it. I think I’ve heard it all. Younger women are intimidated by older women who have “more experience,” and older women are intimidated by younger women because they are “younger, hotter, tighter,” and that they’ll be replaced by that younger woman.

So if women have all all these insecurities and hang ups, and they do, why are you intimidated by them? What is there to be afraid of? They are just as, if not more, insecure than you. They have their own issues, just like you do. Their issues and insecurities aren’t flaws, it just brings out their humanity. Just like your issues and flaws bring out yours.

When you stop making your shit an issue, they’ll stop making it an issue too.

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