Tag: red pill

Are You Experienced?

Rob Says2 Comments

jimi-hendrix-are-you-experienced

“Who, after all, are the most anti-sex people and slut shamers aside from trad-con males? Feminists, and women who are fat and/or old.” –@redpilldadpua

The above quote (emphasis mine) and link are from Red Pill Dad Pua’s blog, you should check it out.

Let’s get to the heart of this post shall we?

Trad-Con males. Or guys in general that slut shame and are “anti-sex.” Why are they “anti-sex?” That’s the million dollar question for me. Were they abused as children? Probably not. It’s more likely they were brought up with certain religious views and religious convictions that make sex either dirty and forbidden, or that it is only something that should be between a man and a woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. And then it’s primarily for procreation only, heaven forbid you actually enjoy sex for the sake of sex. God forbid you bust out the floggers and rope or put your woman in a choke-hold. Can’t have any of that.

The “anti-sex” people are doing a dis-service to themselves if you ask me. How are you going to be good at sex if you don’t have sex? How are you going to know if a potential partner is good at sex if you haven’t had anything as a reference point to base it off of? How are you going to know if you are sexually compatible?

Here’s what I mean by that:

I’ve had a lot of sex over the years. According to a survey I found, the average number of partners that people have over a lifetime is 7. There’s other studies and whatnot out there that are basically saying the same thing, so for now, I’ll accept 7 as the average number of partners that both men, and women (I know, I know, hush) have over a lifetime. So according to this particular survey, not only have I had a lot of sex, I’ve also had a lot of partners too. I’m way past the magic number of 7. I still don’t know if I believe this number or not. It just seems so…small.

Anyways, in all of that sex, in all of my partners, I’ve learned a lot about what pleases women in bed in general, as well as what pleases me. I’ve got experience. I’ve got enough experience that when a woman shows up in my life and we become sexually active, I have a good idea based on her actions and behaviors to know that she has either had a lot of sex, but with only a handful of guys, or she’s had some sex with a lot of guys, or both. Or that she hasn’t had a lot of experience. It actually does show up in the bedroom. I wouldn’t be able to know this without having my experiences that I’ve had.

I’m not saying any of this to brag or to shame anyone, it is what it is. A woman shows up and can rock my world? She has experience, whether it’s a lot of sex or a lot of partners or both. Any of these scenarios is neither good or bad to me, it just is. She shows up and fumbles around a lot and then tells me she doesn’t normally do stuff like this? I’m more likely to believe her. But what if I didn’t have the experience? How would I know if she was being honest or not? I wouldn’t know because I have either no reference point or a very limited reference point to base her words and abilities on.

That’s what I mean by “anti-sex” people doing themselves a dis-service. They have either no reference point at all, or a very limited one to go off of.

My biggest gut-clenching “fear” is what I remember reading in Rollo Tomassi’s Saving The Best: “I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”  Without any reference point to base things off of, without any experience “under your belt,” this could be you. Is having experience a guarantee that it won’t happen to you? Of course not. You could meet someone and she could still end up not giving you her best. At least with experience though, you have a better chance of finding that out, even if your sex with her is fairly basic and “vanilla.”

So if you are a guy and you are “holding out” for your “special unicorn,” you might be shooting yourself in the foot. I can understand your religious convictions if that is what is stopping you, and as I’ve said in the past, you do you. Be aware that a lack of experience especially when it comes to sex, may put you at a disadvantage with women, and not just in the ability to give her good, satisfying sex.

Another reason that I personally wouldn’t hold out is something I wrote about a while back: Ray. He was a co-worker of mine that died shortly after his 30th birthday, and he died a virgin. He’s a guy that never got to experience the pleasure of sex or the pleasure of a woman. He was holding out and waiting for his “One.” At least for me, if I die tomorrow I know what sex is like, what it’s cracked up to be, what it’s not cracked up to be, what is still a mystery to me there, and what isn’t. I’ve had the pleasure of women and I’m happy and excited for more. At least I’ve had that. For me I would hate knowing that I’m dying and I never got to experience that, even if it was only once.

This is why I don’t pass up sex too often. I love and want the experience. Each woman is different in her own way. Her body is a little different from the next woman. You learn nuance after awhile. You definitely learn what works for you and what doesn’t.

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The Relationship That I Don’t Want

Rob SaysLeave a comment

photo of couple hugging during dawn

I’m not sure if I wrote about this particular topic or not, so I went back and revisited some of my old posts, mostly around the time that my Mother died. I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I’m going to go over it here. If you guys out there reading this have seen this before, my apologies for rehashing old news. (Oh, and if I did go over it, drop me a comment pointing me to where I talked about this, thanks in advance.)

Right after my Mother died, my Father and I had a real genuine, man-to-man talk about his and her relationship. He shed some light on it for me that was truly eye opening. I had imagined that they were together out of “true love.” Not that bullshit, blue-pill “The One Soul Mate” shit that’s part of well, everything, but that they genuinely really loved each other.

Turns out that wasn’t the case. My Mom divorced my Dad when I was around eight years old or so, and long story short, they got back together when I was eighteen and remarried each other when I was twenty or twenty one. They were by each other’s side until the day she died. That’s where I figured that they really loved one another. Don’t get me wrong, I know they loved each other, but as my Dad told me:

“There was no love lost between me and your Mother.”

“Why did you stay with her then?”

“Because it was cheaper to keep her.”

Those are exact quotes.

Because it was cheaper to keep her. My Dad was more concerned about his “stuff,” his possessions than truly living his life on his own terms. I don’t fault my Dad. He’s a baby boomer that has pretty much drank all of the Kool-Aid when it comes to life.

Those words keep ringing in my ears. It was cheaper to keep her.

My Dad now has another relationship with another woman, and she’s a good woman. They seem to get along pretty well and both seem content with one another. I’m happy for the both of them. And yet, what I’m seeing is my Dad recreating the same relationship that he had with my Mother. This woman is…Okay. I think my Dad has a scarcity mentality going on. Maybe it’s his age. Maybe it’s his generation, I don’t know.

All I do know is that I don’t want the relationship that he has and that he had. If that is what life is truly about, if that is what relationships are truly about, then I want nothing to do with them. I would rather be alone. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than live like that.

The thing is, I know that’s not how life is and that relationships have to be that way, they don’t have to be that way because I’m living it, I’m living proof that there is “another way.” He’s even met two of my girls. He has witnessed “how I roll.” And over the last year, I’ve tried to gently explain all of this to my Dad. Consider it me dropping little red-pill nuggets on him from time to time when the discussion of his or my dating life comes up. He doesn’t want to hear it though, and that’s the hard part. I get to watch him burn.

Who am I to tell him what to do and how to live his life though? He’s happy enough with how his life is and with what he has, so I just smile and nod and go with the flow and let it go.

He thinks what I’m doing when it comes to “spinning plates” is absolutely crazy. He thinks I should date women my own age. He thinks a lot of outdated things when it comes to women and relationships. That’s okay though. He can think whatever he likes and I don’t mind when he offers me dating advice, even if it is quaint, out of date, and honestly, at least for me, just plain wrong. He can do him and I’ll do me.

Oh Dad, if only you could see what I see. If only you could see through my eyes. You might change your mind about damn near everything. But you can’t see through my eyes. You can’t read my mind. And the few times I’ve tried, you’ve turned a blind eye and a deaf ear on what I have said. That’s okay though Dad, I don’t fault you or blame you, you just get to burn is all. You do you, Dad, and I love you anyway.

Dad, you are so smart and so wise when it comes to many, many things. I thoroughly enjoy sitting with you, at the kitchen table, in the back yard, down in the basement, and at the car shows, listening to you dispense your wisdom about vehicles, home repair, even fixing meals. But I have to draw the line with you. I have to draw the line when it comes to women. Dad, I know I’m no “expert” when it comes to women, far from it. But I do know that I have more experience with women than you have or will ever have. Even if I swear off women today, right now, and never deal with them again, I know more about them than you ever will.

I know for a fact that I do not want the relationships that you have created for yourself when it comes to women. I won’t settle. I won’t. There’s too many of them out there. There’s just too damn many of them and not enough time. I may choose to see women of all age groups, including women in my own age group, but that will be because that is what I choose. Not because that is what I “should” do, or “ought” to do. I’ll follow my own path when it comes to women. It’s okay if you don’t understand why I’m doing what I’m doing, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you don’t press the issue, even if you think I’m absolutely crazy. Because I’m not, Dad. I’m not crazy. I know what I’m doing. Thank you for trusting me on how I choose to live my life, even if you don’t agree with me. It’s totally okay that we can agree to disagree.

I firmly believe that we create or find the relationships that we grow up watching. I know I did that for many years. What I saw that my parents had, well, that’s what relationships are about. That’s how they just are. But that’s not the case though. Not to sound like some “New Age” bullshit artist, but you really can create the relationships you want. You just have to have the balls to do it. You just have to literally take it.

You want kinky, horny women in your life? All women are like that. They really are. You just have to “expect” it. It’s just a normal part of life, a normal part of your life. If you think it’s possible and normal, then it is. If you think it’s all bullshit and not possible, you’ll be right on that one too. If you think women are goofy, fun spazzes, they are. If you think they are cold-hearted and “out to get you,” they are that too. They are and will become whatever you see and think about them. They “reflect” back you. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

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Be Approachable

Rob SaysLeave a comment

black chimpanzee smiling

Here’s something I’ve noticed recently:

Lately I’ve been in contact with quite a few women. Some of them online, and some of them when I’m out and about. The really interesting thing is, they’ve all said something similar:

“You’re approachable.”

It got me to thinking. Why wouldn’t I be? My whole goal, my mission as it were, is to live life as fully as I can. In order to do that, I need to connect with people. Aaron Clarey got it right when he said something along the lines of, “people are the most important thing.”

They are. People are the most important thing. Not your money, not your clothes, or your house, or your car, but people.

Another interesting thing:

The women that I’ve interacted with online? Most of them have approached me first. Literally “slid into my DM’s,” or reached out via other online means.

Some of the women are on Twitter. They’ve been hanging around the circles that I run in, watching us guys talk shit to one another. Taking a peek in the “locker room,” if you will.

I got some feedback from them that I found interesting, but not surprising:

Most of the guys that they observe, they take those guys at face value. Whatever you are saying online, they are taking as gospel truth. So when you have a sperg moment and go full retard, they are assuming that’s who you are. “Spergs and retards, spergs and retards.” Sorry, had a tune in my head for a moment there. (Damn you Aaron!) All the anger and all the bitterness towards women? They see it and that’s who you are to them. Angry, bitter, and sometimes scary dude.

So yeah, when you are coming across as “Mr. Alpha” with a capital A, they are assuming that’s who you are, but before you start patting yourselves on the back, consider what image you are projecting.

Are you “hard core Mr. Alpha” who drinks Drano, snorts powered glass, eats razors and shits barbwire? That’s who you are to them. Are you so hard core that the last time you laughed was, well, never? That’s what they see. Are you the ultimate “hard to kill, badass warrior of warriors?” Understand this, women like guys who can take care of business, protect themselves and ultimately protect their women as well, but they also like a guy who is laid back and can laugh and tell a few jokes. A guy who can smile and not take himself so goddamn seriously.

A guy that is approachable.

Why did they reach out to me? Because I’m approachable. I don’t take myself too seriously, or anyone else for that matter. I’m quick to laughter and I’ll tease and clown on you from the word go. That’s just how I roll. Especially with women.

I mentioned something along the lines of, “I’ll have you laughing your pants off all the way to the bedroom,” to one of these women. She came back with, “Yeah, I really don’t understand why that’s not a bigger subset of advice for guys on here. Getting a chick to laugh..They are leaving a lot of pussy on the table.”

Relax for a minute guys, I can already here you now: “Rob! Don’t take dating advice from da wimmin!”

I get you, I get you. It’s not dating advice though, it’s just the truth. What I lack in height, money, looks, all of that shit? I make up for in teasing, bantering, and humor. I’m not patting myself on the back or bragging, but I’m not kidding when I’ve said that “I can have you laughing your pants off all the way, right into the bedroom.” I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. In many cases, it’s one of my “signature moves.”

Guys it’s okay to be the “ripped/jacked warrior of warriors of all time.” You can be “hard to kill, straight from the ‘hood,” for all I care. You can shit razors, shower in ice water that you got from your own veins, and you could have a “1000 yard death stare” all from the massive body count that you stacked up almost as high as your money pile is, but if you aren’t approachable, good luck. Like the woman that I mentioned earlier said, “You are leaving a lot of pussy on the table.”

That being said, you’re still going to have to do the work. You are still going to be the one doing the approaching 9 out of 10 times if I had to guess. But that one time? Or maybe even 2 times? She’s doing a little of that work for you. Doesn’t mean you get to fuck off and step on your own dick, but she’s giving you a chance, why not take it?

Guys that are too serious, both online and in real life? Yeah, there’s a term for that. It’s called a “stick in the mud.” I’ve seen plenty of guys online that I would consider sticks in the mud. I’ve met a few guys like that in real life too. Always too serious. Always have the weight of the world, or at least the West, on their shoulders. What a buzzkill. What a downer. What a drag. What a “stick in the mud.” Another term I’ve seen that is applicable and is thrown around quite a bit too, is “caricature.” Hmmm….

Don’t be that guy.

Show people, not just women, that you are approachable. Smile once in awhile. I promise your face won’t shatter and it won’t kill you to do it. Be able to laugh and be quick to laugh, even at yourself sometimes. I do that all the time, otherwise I just get to burn. Tease, banter, play, goof around. It’s okay to be a clown once in awhile.

“But Rob! Nobody will take me seriously!”

You’re right, nobody will take you seriously.

Newsflash: Nobody cares.

I definitely won’t take you seriously, especially when you are being a stick in the mud. So who cares? The world is too goddamn serious as it is.

Remember what I said a while ago:

Nobody gives a shit. So why should you?

Instead of being Chad Thundercock, the black coffee drinking, cold shower taking, kill a million guys with a five finger death punch, maybe you could just be…Approachable?

But fuck me, right? What do I know?

Better yet, you keep doing you bud, that just means there’s more for me. You get to burn.

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