Be Approachable

black chimpanzee smiling

Here’s something I’ve noticed recently:

Lately I’ve been in contact with quite a few women. Some of them online, and some of them when I’m out and about. The really interesting thing is, they’ve all said something similar:

“You’re approachable.”

It got me to thinking. Why wouldn’t I be? My whole goal, my mission as it were, is to live life as fully as I can. In order to do that, I need to connect with people. Aaron Clarey got it right when he said something along the lines of, “people are the most important thing.”

They are. People are the most important thing. Not your money, not your clothes, or your house, or your car, but people.

Another interesting thing:

The women that I’ve interacted with online? Most of them have approached me first. Literally “slid into my DM’s,” or reached out via other online means.

Some of the women are on Twitter. They’ve been hanging around the circles that I run in, watching us guys talk shit to one another. Taking a peek in the “locker room,” if you will.

I got some feedback from them that I found interesting, but not surprising:

Most of the guys that they observe, they take those guys at face value. Whatever you are saying online, they are taking as gospel truth. So when you have a sperg moment and go full retard, they are assuming that’s who you are. “Spergs and retards, spergs and retards.” Sorry, had a tune in my head for a moment there. (Damn you Aaron!) All the anger and all the bitterness towards women? They see it and that’s who you are to them. Angry, bitter, and sometimes scary dude.

So yeah, when you are coming across as “Mr. Alpha” with a capital A, they are assuming that’s who you are, but before you start patting yourselves on the back, consider what image you are projecting.

Are you “hard core Mr. Alpha” who drinks Drano, snorts powered glass, eats razors and shits barbwire? That’s who you are to them. Are you so hard core that the last time you laughed was, well, never? That’s what they see. Are you the ultimate “hard to kill, badass warrior of warriors?” Understand this, women like guys who can take care of business, protect themselves and ultimately protect their women as well, but they also like a guy who is laid back and can laugh and tell a few jokes. A guy who can smile and not take himself so goddamn seriously.

A guy that is approachable.

Why did they reach out to me? Because I’m approachable. I don’t take myself too seriously, or anyone else for that matter. I’m quick to laughter and I’ll tease and clown on you from the word go. That’s just how I roll. Especially with women.

I mentioned something along the lines of, “I’ll have you laughing your pants off all the way to the bedroom,” to one of these women. She came back with, “Yeah, I really don’t understand why that’s not a bigger subset of advice for guys on here. Getting a chick to laugh..They are leaving a lot of pussy on the table.”

Relax for a minute guys, I can already here you now: “Rob! Don’t take dating advice from da wimmin!”

I get you, I get you. It’s not dating advice though, it’s just the truth. What I lack in height, money, looks, all of that shit? I make up for in teasing, bantering, and humor. I’m not patting myself on the back or bragging, but I’m not kidding when I’ve said that “I can have you laughing your pants off all the way, right into the bedroom.” I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. In many cases, it’s one of my “signature moves.”

Guys it’s okay to be the “ripped/jacked warrior of warriors of all time.” You can be “hard to kill, straight from the ‘hood,” for all I care. You can shit razors, shower in ice water that you got from your own veins, and you could have a “1000 yard death stare” all from the massive body count that you stacked up almost as high as your money pile is, but if you aren’t approachable, good luck. Like the woman that I mentioned earlier said, “You are leaving a lot of pussy on the table.”

That being said, you’re still going to have to do the work. You are still going to be the one doing the approaching 9 out of 10 times if I had to guess. But that one time? Or maybe even 2 times? She’s doing a little of that work for you. Doesn’t mean you get to fuck off and step on your own dick, but she’s giving you a chance, why not take it?

Guys that are too serious, both online and in real life? Yeah, there’s a term for that. It’s called a “stick in the mud.” I’ve seen plenty of guys online that I would consider sticks in the mud. I’ve met a few guys like that in real life too. Always too serious. Always have the weight of the world, or at least the West, on their shoulders. What a buzzkill. What a downer. What a drag. What a “stick in the mud.” Another term I’ve seen that is applicable and is thrown around quite a bit too, is “caricature.” Hmmm….

Don’t be that guy.

Show people, not just women, that you are approachable. Smile once in awhile. I promise your face won’t shatter and it won’t kill you to do it. Be able to laugh and be quick to laugh, even at yourself sometimes. I do that all the time, otherwise I just get to burn. Tease, banter, play, goof around. It’s okay to be a clown once in awhile.

“But Rob! Nobody will take me seriously!”

You’re right, nobody will take you seriously.

Newsflash: Nobody cares.

I definitely won’t take you seriously, especially when you are being a stick in the mud. So who cares? The world is too goddamn serious as it is.

Remember what I said a while ago:

Nobody gives a shit. So why should you?

Instead of being Chad Thundercock, the black coffee drinking, cold shower taking, kill a million guys with a five finger death punch, maybe you could just be…Approachable?

But fuck me, right? What do I know?

Better yet, you keep doing you bud, that just means there’s more for me. You get to burn.

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