Tag: game

No More Swipe Apps For Me

Rob Says1 Comment

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If you don’t follow me on Twitter (@RobSays__) you missed out on something I did the other day. I uninstalled all of my “swipe/dating” apps and I deleted all of my profiles on all of the different dating sites that I had belonged to.

Why did I do this, considering I’ve had some measure of success with women on these various apps? I did it because of two main reasons:

  1. Online dating is slow and tedious. You have to “like” or “match” with someone most of the time in order to communicate with them. They don’t “like” or “match” with you? No conversation can be had. On top of that, having the same conversations over and over gets tedious. You text back and forth a few times, saying a lot of the same things that you said to 5 or 10 other women. They give back similar answers, rinse and repeat. Or, they don’t answer you at all, which happens more often than not. I would rather go out in the real world and get immediate feedback from a woman. At least that way, if she isn’t interested, I know right then and there and I can move on to another woman. Or if she is interested, we can escalate the encounter and see where it goes.
  2. The quality of women online tends to be “lower” than what I really want. The type of women that I seek are usually not found on swipe and dating apps. They don’t need to be there. They get approached enough in real life. So if I want what I want, I had better go where they are, and online dating isn’t usually it.

Deleting these apps has freed up a lot of time for me. I didn’t realize just how much time I was sinking into getting minimal results. I could spend hours looking at different pics and profiles, crafting conversations, etc, and the whole day could get past me. Now I’m able to do more of the things that I actually want to do instead of swiping pics and sometimes having conversations that more often than not, end up going nowhere.

Here’s a hard truth for you to swallow: Dating (pick up, hooking up, whatever you want to call it) in any form is mostly a numbers game. It will definitely help you to have Game, be in decent shape, wear decent clothing, and having some money never hurt anything, but at the end of the day, it’s a grind. You’re going to get told “no” way more often than you are going to get told “yes.” That’s just the facts. It can wear you out in the wallet if you are not careful, and it will definitely hammer your ego and your self-esteem. That’s why I don’t think that there are a lot of guys out there that pick up women for years on end. It can really mess with your head when you are in a “slump” and the chicks just aren’t digging you.

So it’s back to meeting women full time in real life.

That being said, I went out the other night to a local bar/club. It’s a bar that I’ve been to many times in the recent past, but this night was a little different from the other times that I went.

That night I felt totally alone. Lonely even. I felt like I was invisible and didn’t exist. I know it was all “in my head,” and that the feeling is and was, a temporary one. Today as I’m writing this, I feel great. I feel fine. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I’m in a good place today.

I think I need to change up the locations that I visit. I need more than just the one or two that I go to. I realize that I like variety, and I may have better results at a different venue than the one’s that I have frequented recently. I enjoy the music and the band at one of these locations, but even their set list is getting a bit stale. Also, I’m beginning to see a lot of the same faces there. Faces that I’m not necessarily interested in, nor are they interested in me. Time to move on. Fish in another pond.

In other news, since I’ve had quite a bit of time freed up to do other things, I’ve created a bunch of videos on my YouTube channel that I call “Two Minutes.” I take whatever idea or thought that comes to mind and I spend roughly two minutes on it. That way my subscribers get something to mull over and then they get to get on with their day. I’ll still be doing all of my live streams that I belong to, and I’ll still be putting out my more “long form” videos as well, but I decided to add something to my channel for shits and giggles. Check them out, tell me what you think.

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Demonstrating Higher Value

Rob Says3 Comments

man wearing blue suit

I’ve seen a lot of guys talking over the years about demonstrating higher value, or DHV. Now, here’s the thing, I’ve seen a lot of guys talking about it, what it is, what it means, all sorts of definitions and whatnot.

What I haven’t seen though is a lot of guys actually demonstrating higher value. DHV is the acronym for it, of course. Lots of guys have come to a consensus as to what higher is, and what value is. They are missing the most important part of it though. Demonstrating.

Demonstrating is actually doing. It’s not thinking about it, it’s not talking about it. It’s actually taking some form of action, and doing it. Lots of guys are missing this important distinction. You have to actually demonstrate. You have to actually do.

You walk into a room and you feel like “the man.” Yet, you don’t do anything. You see a beautiful woman standing there, giving you all sorts of “indicators of interest,” and yet you do nothing. You freeze, you hesitate, and another opportunity is lost.

Understand this:

Maybe you are in fact, the Man. Maybe you have more money than Carter has liver pills. Maybe you know all sorts of people from all over the world. Maybe you know how to dress to kill. Maybe you’re even in good shape. Maybe you’re “The Most Interesting Man In The World.” All of that makes you a rare commodity in today’s world. But if you don’t act, if you don’t demonstrate, all that other stuff doesn’t count for shit.

Men and women out there, out in “the real world,” most likely they don’t know you. They no nothing about you except for what they see, and if you don’t demonstrate, if you don’t act, they’ll dismiss you and forget all about you. You’ll be just another dude in the bar, another face in the crowd. You’ll be forgotten and you’ll be invisible. You’ll literally cease to exist to them, no matter what you think of yourself. No matter what you think you want to do.

You have to act. You have to demonstrate. Stop thinking about what DHV is, and start displaying it. Start showing other people your own higher value. Otherwise, all your thoughts and discussions about what DHV is, is mental masturbation. You’re just jerking off in your own mind.

It can be hard getting out of your head and into your body, but that’s what has to happen. That’s the only way you are going to stop thinking and start acting. Stop worrying about what DHV is or isn’t, it doesn’t matter except in the circle jerk that you are having with your buddies online, or in your own mind.

It doesn’t matter “why” a woman does whatever she does. Ultimately she does whatever she is doing because she can. Whether you think that she thinks you’re too short, too tall, too thin, too fat, too young, or too old, is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter what she thinks honestly. It’s either a yes or it’s a no from her. That’s all that is relevant. Yes or no. That’s it.

I take it a step further and it’s either a hell yes, or a fuck no. That’s all that matters to me. Everything else is just details, and most of the time, they don’t matter much. They definitely don’t matter as much as you are making them out to be, so stop that.

Most guys I’ve had the pleasure to meet have one thing in common:

They over-analyze things to the point of ludicrious and ridiculous. They get so caught up in the nuances and the tiniest of tweaks. That’s great if you can act. That’s great if you can approach. It’s great when you’ve got a solid game plan going on and you are running tight game and you’re seeing some results.

If you can’t act? If you can’t or won’t approach? You are just stepping on your own dick. You are shooting yourself in the foot. All those tweaks and nuances don’t mean shit if you can’t simply talk to that woman in front of you. Or that guy, if you are doing a business deal, or whatever it is that you’re hoping to get out of that encounter. Get out of your heads. Get into your body instead. The only way I can really describe it is, be in the present moment. Diminish your thoughts, or ideally, shut them off. At least for that particular moment.

Stop worrying if she is a “quality woman.” She isn’t. She’s just a woman. Better yet, she’s not even that. She’s just a girl. Girls are fun. Girls aren’t scary. Girls are goofy. Stop worrying about trying to “wife her up on the first date.” That’s just thirsty and pathetic. Stop worrying about how you’ll be perceived by your buddies in the bar if you get shut down. Guess what? Nobody is watching and nobody gives a shit.

Find that one thing that you can admire about that woman, for just that one moment. Then get the fuck out of your head and into your body and just go. Approach. Dance. Talk. Do something. Demonstrate your higher value.

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You Don’t Really Know Her, And You Never Will.

Rob SaysLeave a comment

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Here’s another truth that I’ve had to swallow that has been a bitter pill:

You can be with someone for a long time, months, years, even decades, and you will never really know them.

You will think that you know them, and I’m sure that is part of the idealism that lives inside of Men. You think you know your wife, your girlfriend, your significant other, whatever title, name or term of affection that you want to give her or call her.

But you will never really know her. Not truly.

Swallow that pill. Choke it down.

You will never really know her.

In all fairness, she will probably never really know you either. But if you are like most Men out there, you will take many opportunities to show her who you are, to invite her into your world and to get to know you better. To know who you really are.

Do not expect the same courtesy in return. She will always hold something back. I’m not saying this from a place of anger or bitterness, I’m just speaking from my own personal experience.

After every relationship I’ve had that has ended, I end up seeing more of who that woman really was.

Sometimes it’s not pretty. Sometimes it’s okay. Either way it is what it is.

I wrote a while back about a bitter red pill that I had to swallow. Check it out if you haven’t already. It’s a good place to start. This one would be the next one that I have encountered that has been really hard to get down my throat.

I don’t blame the women that have been in my life and are now gone for this lack of knowing them. It’s not their fault for the most part. It’s mine.

Goddamn, unplugging is a bitch. You go along, thinking you’ve unplugged and then something hits you. Sometimes it even blind sides you. That’s where you realize that you haven’t unplugged as much as you thought you had. That’s when you realize you are still a long way off and that you still have a lot of work to do.

Rollo Tomassi wrote about this to a degree a few years ago in an article that he called, “Kill The Beta.” I imagine to some degree this was what he was talking about.

I don’t know why this one is bothering me so bad right now, except that it shatters an illusion that I once had and cherished. That illusion was that I knew the woman I was with, that I really knew her.

Knowing now that I didn’t really know her, it’s sad to me. It’s sad because now I know more about her and what she is actually capable of. Which means that she is truly capable of anything.

In the past if you asked me if she was capable of “X,” I would have told you no way, not in a million years.

Now if you asked me if she was or is capable of “X,” I would have to say that “X” is totally possible. She could do it. Doesn’t mean she would, but she could.

That opens up a whole world of uncertainty for me. That uncertainty makes me uncomfortable. If she is capable of say, lying, cheating, deceiving, stealing, and even taking a life, it means that I don’t really know her and I cannot trust her.

I take that back. I can trust her to be her. Someone who is capable of anything. Even theft and murder.

The question that keeps haunting me is this:

Knowing that a woman is truly capable of anything and could turn on you for no reason at all, how do you trust them? How can you live with them? How can you spend time, any significant amount of time with them?

I don’t want to go through the rest of my life not being able to trust a woman. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life realizing that a woman is truly capable of anything and everything.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and sleeping with one eye open, wondering when, not if, she’s going to go feral on me and pull whatever shit she’s going to pull.

How do you overcome that? Or do you?

Is it simply throwing your hands up in the air and giving up? Is it submitting to the fact that All Women Are Like That? How can you be with someone that you can’t trust? Or that you can trust that she will do what she’s going to do and that she will go feral at some point and betray your trust, betray you?

I can already hear some women that might read this saying, “Not all women are like that!” To which I would answer them, “Prove it. Your words don’t count for shit with me. You’re going to have to show me that I can trust you, your words don’t count.”

I understand why some Men decide to go MGTOW now. It makes more sense. Sometimes it seems to me that it would be a much easier life not dealing with women. If I want female companionship I can always hire a professional and be done with it. At least with her, I know what I’m paying for and what I’m getting. I can see why some guys do this.

Maybe I’m just zeroed out emotionally at this point when it comes to the idea of dating and dealing with women. Right now I don’t feel like it’s worth the hassle to get to know someone only to know that I’ll never really know them and that I can only trust them about as far as I can throw them. It sucks knowing that the only thing I know for certain is that I can trust her to be her and that means that I can trust that she is capable of anything at any time. I can trust that she can go feral at any point for any reason or no reason whatsoever.

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