Tag: frame

Your Frame Is Everything

Rob Says1 Comment

white framed glass window

There’s a guy that I subscribe to on YouTube who put out a video recently that got me to thinking. I don’t always agree with this particular individual’s take on things, but I do think that he is highly intelligent, cares deeply about his topics, cares deeply about his subscribers, and that when he creates a video on a topic, he gives it a lot of thought.

That being said, I think for this particular video, it was a swing and a miss.

He talks about “hypergamy refuses to choose.” He talks about women in general refusing to choose either A or B, whatever those things might be. He mentions that women “want it all.” I agree with him on this. This is women’s nature. They don’t like to be “pinned down” and they don’t like to choose, not really. They don’t like to choose because they don’t know what they want.

Ask a woman what she wants and she’ll give you a different answer for the same question depending on the time of day, what’s going on in her life, and her mood. That’s just her nature. She doesn’t know what she wants, and that’s okay. Of course she wants it all. That’s just her nature.

“Would you rather spend time in the mountains, or on the beach?” “Both.”

“Would you rather go out or stay in?” “Both.”

The guy says, “Tell me about your values, your morals, and your ethics.” Women don’t know, not really. They are fluid. It doesn’t make women bad or inferior, it just makes them women. They are different.

I think the guy seemed pretty frustrated when he can’t get a woman to commit to an answer, and that’s because he’s still treating her like she is a man. She’s not.

Men will commit to an answer to the question of their values, morals, ethics, what they like to eat, and whether they would rather go to the mountains or to the beach. That’s what men do. We commit. That’s not what women do.

The guy mentions, “Pay attention to the girl who chooses everything, because that means she chooses nothing.” All women are like that. From 12 years old up until their deaths, women are like that. My 67 year old mother was like that right up until the day she died.

Women are the most responsible teenager in the house, so act accordingly.

I say his video was a swing and miss, not because he was wrong, but because he was asking the wrong questions.

It’s not about what she chooses, or what she stands for, or what she values. It’s about what do you stand for? What do you value? What do you choose?

Women are happy to go along, they are happy to support, they are usually happy with whatever you choose. So that’s what you do.

Instead of worrying and ending up chasing her around, you do what matters to you. Stop chasing her. Focus on your goals and desires. If she’s interested in you, she’ll be more than happy to come along for the ride. If not, she’ll go away.

Women want to be lead. They want to follow. Anything else will eventually lead to unhappiness and misery for the both of you.

Stop focusing on what she stands for. It changes and she doesn’t know what she stands for. Focus on what you stand for. Focus on what you want to do. Focus on where you want to go, and then invite her to come along. Either she will or she won’t. Either way, you’re doing what you want to do and you’re going where you want to go, and if she doesn’t want to come along, that’s fine. Worst case, you’ll find someone else who is more than eager and willing to go your direction.

You can’t be angry or upset that a cheetah has spots instead of stripes. You can’t be angry that a cheetah isn’t a tiger or a lion. A cheetah is going to cheetah. A tiger is going to tiger. It’s what they do, it’s their nature. Same goes for women. You can’t get angry over the fact that she doesn’t think and act like you do. That’s not her nature. It doesn’t mean that you put up with bad behavior, but you can’t be mad or overly concerned about her nature.

The guy goes on later in the video to say things like, “You can’t trust them.” Sure you can. You can trust them to be them. You can trust that they are going to act in their own best self interest. And then you act accordingly for your own best self interest. Maybe that means calling her out on bad behavior, maybe that means that you stop paying attention to her when she does something that you don’t care for. Maybe that means you let it slide because it’s honestly not that big of a deal. Or maybe that means you put her out the door or you walk out the door yourself and you don’t look back.

The guy more or less finishes the video with “Be very suspicious gentlemen and be very careful with women.” It was almost like he was about to say, “The juice isn’t worth the squeeze,” or something along those lines. I disagree with him here. That’s putting yourself in her frame, her reality. You are the one “worrying” about what she is going to do, say, etc. Worry about your goals and whatnot instead. Ultimately she either comes along or not.

Instead of asking her, “What would you like for dinner?” Ask instead, “Which would you rather have, chicken, steak, or pizza?” Whatever answer she gives you, you still “win” because you decided for yourself that either chicken, steak, or pizza sounded good for dinner for you.

When you make plans, you don’t have to do everything. Just the critical things. Give her things that she can help out with, but aren’t necessarily crucial. If you are going out of town for a few days, have her pack the clothes. Every woman I have met are master packers. They have it down to a science and are far better packers than I will ever be. Let her prep some of the food while you worry about making sure you have the tent, the batteries for the flashlights, the fuel and tinder for the campfire, and the firearms when you go camping. Let her support you. You don’t have to do it all. Just make sure that you handle the most critical stuff. Make sure if you are flying together that you have the airline tickets and ID’s. Let her worry about packing the luggage.

Stop trying to change a cheetah into a tiger, that’s not going to happen. Stop being concerned with why she does what she does and with what she wants. Focus on what you want and need and go from there.

In summation:

What do women want?

Who cares?

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Lust, Sex, And Corona

Rob Says1 Comment

mona lisa protection protect virus

Since the beginning of the pandemic, women have been staying in their homes, which isn’t too surprising as the majority of women are risk assessors and tend to follow the herd. Since the bars closed down in mid-February, meeting eligible and willing women became, let’s say, a helluva task.

So I had to resort to Online Dating yet again. Ah yes, online dating. You love to hate it. Red Pill Dad on Twitter got me to see the light and get off it, and yet, here I am, back on it, like a junkie relapsing.

February, March, April, and May were all busts. Completely. Not a lot of matches and the ones that did match were bored and scared. I couldn’t get one of them, not ONE, to come out of the house and meet me face to face.

You see, when it comes to the idea of Game, I look at it as nothing more than getting a woman to show up to have sex. Game is about getting laid. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m sure different guys will have different opinions about what Game is or isn’t, but to me, that’s the literal definition of Game.

Getting women to give you their phone number is great, but it’s only first step in ultimately getting to sex. Texting with them and even calling them and talking with them is just more steps to getting them out of the house and into your bed.

Here’s how I do my version of online dating:

I start off by “carpet bombing” a lot of women. I “like” or “swipe right” on a lot of different girls. I don’t generally bother reading their profiles because, let’s be honest, the majority of them are cut and paste and are pretty much all the same. I look at their pictures and if I like what I see, I swipe right. Then I move right on to the next profile and I’ll do this until I either run out of options or I get busy or bored, whichever comes first.

Then I’ll see what shows up.

Once I get a match, then I’ll actually take the time to read their profiles and see what I can gather from it. I look at the usual suspects: Age, height, weight, location, kids, and so forth. From there I’ll craft my intro text. I tend to keep it short, sweet, and to the point. I also try and inject some humor into it.

For me, whenever a woman shows any interest in me, “it’s on.” I start to banter, flirt, joke, and gently tease. I tend to not do “hard negs” because 99 out of 100 women are walking bundles of insecurity and I don’t need to add to that. I tend to look for things where I can bust on her co-workers or her roommates, or her boss, or maybe some of her friends. I try and create an atmosphere of “us against them.”

If she “shit-tests” I either ignore it completely as if she didn’t say anything, or I’ll “agree and amplify” it.

My whole goal during these interactions is to get her out of the house and in front of me, face to face. My mindset is that I’m an awesome Man and once she meets me she’ll want to be with me. If I can get her out of the house and in front of me, she’s mine.

Texting on the dating apps is fine for a moment, but the sooner I can get her phone number, the better. I don’t waste my time with getting her IG account or any of that nonsense. A woman who gives you her IG instead of her phone number isn’t interested in you other than you becoming an orbiter on her social media. Move on.

Sometimes I’ll ask for her number, sometimes I give her mine first, and sometimes they’ll give me theirs unsolicited. Different guys will have different takes about this, but I honestly think you should do whatever feels natural and whatever works in that moment with that particular woman.

Here’s a screenshot from a recent example:

Screenshot_20200720-160444_LI (2)

This woman and I matched on a Sunday evening and we started bantering and she ended up giving me her phone number unsolicited.

I texted her in the morning and we bantered briefly and by Monday as I was leaving work, I decided to call her, which for me, is the next step to getting her out of the house. We ended up talking for three hours. Not what I had initially planned, but sometimes you have to adapt and improvise and roll with it. She all but asked me to come to her house. Being that it was Monday evening and I was wiped out from work, I declined at that time and set up a date for the upcoming Thursday night.

While I was talking to texting with her, I had also matched with my Goth girl that I mentioned that I wanted to meet in a prior post.

Here are some screenshots of her and I texting one another:

Screenshot_20200717-121915

Notice the “shit-test.” How do you think I handled it? Here’s how:

Screenshot_20200717-121935

Not very creative, I know. The point is though, if my age is going to be an issue, it’s either going to be an issue now or later. I would rather it be now than later and not waste any more of my or her time.

Here’s what she said:

Screenshot_20200717-122003

As I said in the screenshot, I knew she was 28. Obviously me being 48 wasn’t an issue for her either. She had more to say though:

Screenshot_20200717-150313

So now she’s qualifying herself to me.

I matched up with Goth Girl a couple of days before the other woman and I was conversing with both of them at the same time. I had gotten their phone numbers and I had talked to both of them on the phone. Remember what I said earlier:

My goal is to get them out of the house and meet me face to face. If I can get them to meet me face to face, she’s mine.

I had made a date to meet Goth Girl on Tuesday and the other woman on Thursday. Not too shabby. Except on Monday, Goth Girl cancelled and I knew that she would. You do this stuff long enough, and you start to see patterns and when certain things like flaking or cancelling become predictable.

When Goth Girl cancelled, I turned right around and texted the other woman to see if she was available for Tuesday night. Turns out she was. Turns out she came over after work and spent the night with me. She did this all without meeting me face to face and only seeing a handful of photos and hearing my voice on the phone.

I say this not to brag, but to show you what is possible. Can a woman meet you at your own place and climb into your bed without actually meeting you somewhere else beforehand? Absolutely. Was it because I was running tight fucking game or was it because I was the “right guy at the right place at the right time?”

Don’t care. Got laid.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Roll With It

Rob Says2 Comments

people in concert

Mr. Skelton Elton and I went out again on Saturday night. We hit a couple of different bar/clubs, had a few drinks, and had a great time.

One area that I’m really “rusty” in is my night game. I haven’t gone clubbing in years, and even going to the occasional bar in the past, I’ve always had women with me, or it was a night with the guys, and there were few to no women around. Getting back out there with Skelton is good for him and for me as well. If you want to pick up women, it’s better in my opinion, to be able to meet them in all sorts of environments. Sure, it’s best when you can find a niche of your own to fish in, it will get you the best results overall, but it’s good to be able to move in any environment.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is to be open to pretty much anything happening at any time. I’ve learned to just “roll with it.”

Just “rolling with it” is when you’re out on the dance floor, moving to the music, and a woman slides up next to you, and starts to dance. Slide in to her, put your arms around her, and pull her in. Go all in. It’s a yes until it’s a no, that’s one that Vincent mentioned to me when I first met him and it’s a good mentality to have. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

When I first met my ex-wife years ago, she knew a little about my past. I guess it preceded me. She called the women that I had met, my “strange women.” These were the women that I met at bars and clubs, and also on the street. These were the women that I took home rapidly. You can think and say what you want about these women, that they were “low hanging fruit,” or that they were “easy,” or whatever you want. Maybe they were, but I don’t think they were. They were just women. They were women doing what women do. They were out looking for an adventure, looking to have fun and have a good time, and I was the guy willing to give them that adventure and that good time. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had to be flexible and adaptable and open to whatever would show up though. Whether I would only mingle with those women for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or even 5 years, it didn’t matter to me. It was just living in that moment, being in the present, and being open to whatever without having a whole lot of expectations.

Guys,

It’s a yes until it’s a no.

Be open to whatever shows up.

Be open to the idea that whatever does show up for you, that it’s normal. And not only that it’s normal, but it’s basically “business as usual.” It happens all the time. It’s just another day in your amazing life.

When whatever shows up in your life is normal and business as usual, and it’s a yes until it’s a no, you lead from there. Taking her hand and leading her where you want to go, whether it’s on the dance floor, or it’s taking her back to your home, that’s normal and it’s business as usual. Just roll with it.

“Dirty dancing” with a woman and you don’t even know her name? That’s normal. Kissing her on the same dance floor after only dancing with her for a short time? That’s normal. Taking her somewhere else and ultimately ending up in bed with her that same night? That’s normal. It’s a yes until it’s a no. It’s business as usual. It’s no big deal. It’s just another day in your life. Just roll with it. Don’t overthink it. Just roll with it. All of it is normal. All of it is expected, it’s just who you are and what you do.

And if it goes to a no? That’s no big deal either. It happens. No need to overthink that one either. No need to beat yourself up. Just roll with that too. Make a mental note about it, and then move on. Next woman, next dance, next place. Same amazing life though. She decided that it’s a no for whatever reason? Roll with it. It’s a no from her, but there’s another woman right behind her that it’s a yes until it’s a no. Keep at it and keep rolling.

Whatever you believe is normal in your life is what you will see and what you will get. It’s what you will be open to. If you think women are strange, mystical unicorns that are unfathomable, and therefore unapproachable, that’s what you will see and what you will get. If you think that they are lusty, goofy, funny, insecure creatures that are just as confused and worried about themselves as you are about you, that’s what you will get. My question to you is: which one is more approachable? The mystical and the unknown one? Or the lusty, goofy, confused one? Which one do you think you would be able to relate to?

As a related aside, someone sent me a link which goes far more indepth as to what I’m speaking about here, and it gives some actual steps to getting through it and over it.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.