When Binary Goes Bad…

internet technology computer pc

I had a conversation with a guy the other day who chooses anonymity online for a variety of reasons. One of them apparently is that he doesn’t look a “certain way.” That got me thinking…

We judge a book by its cover, it’s just the way it is. If you are going to preach a certain way, you had better know what you are talking about if you want to be taken seriously. Those that do know will find out eventually. This guy knows a lot of things about a lot of subjects. If I had to hazard a guess, a lot of his wisdom and knowledge he has gained through the “school of hard knocks.” He’s lived it and he’s lived through it.

It’s a damn shame that he hasn’t come out of anonymity. I for one would like to know what he looks like. Not to judge him and think he’s a fraud and a phony, and to point out discrepancies, but to look upon him as another Man, a peer, and hopefully one day, to call him a friend. The more interactions I’ve had with him, the more I want to sit down with him and have a beer and talk shit. The guy has had life experiences, a lot of them I recognize because I have had similar ones.

Binary is a bad thing because life isn’t binary. Nothing is truly black or white. Nothing is completely either/or. Sometimes “and” shows up. Sometimes it’s not either/or, but both. A lot of guys who have binary thinking are missing the nuance. Life is nothing but nuance really.

What works for me may not work for you at all. One woman may find me to be irresistible. Another right behind her may find me to be insufferable. I “opened” them with the exact same “lines and phrases.” I used the same tonality and as far as I know, I used the same body language. Why did it “work” on one and not the other?

Truth? Who really knows. That’s nuance. All I can say is that one was receptive while the other one was not. I succeeded and I failed all within a few moments.

Binary thinking on one end would say that my “system” was a roaring success, but that same thinking on the other end would say that it was a complete failure and doesn’t work. That’s what I’m seeing a lot of these days. Guys getting to the granular level with things that when taken to that level of granularity, lose their context. They lose their nuance. Like I said a paragraph or so ago, everything is nuance. Seduction is nothing but nuance.

Taking nutrition advice from a guy who is morbidly obese is probably not a good idea. But does that guy need to be absolutely “shredded and jacked?” I don’t necessarily believe so.

Taking dating advice from a guy who isn’t necessarily attractive may seem like a bad thing to do, but then again, what’s his track record? I’m not just talking about pure, raw numbers here. Plenty of guys can buy pussy. How does he interact with women? History is full of examples of men that were not attractive by any means, nor were they tall, or wealthy, or even necessarily fit, but women loved them and flocked to them.

Taking financial advice from a guy, just because he has money may not be in your best interest. How did he come about attaining his money? Did he inherit it? Did he walk into a bank and point a gun at the teller? Did the money fall off the back of an armored truck? Nuance. Binary thinking would lead you to believe that just because the guy has money, he knows how to make money.

Just because a guy is old enough to be your father doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It doesn’t necessarily make his thoughts and rationale outdated. Dig deeper keeping context in mind and look for the nuance. Yes it takes time and it takes work. It takes energy and it takes critical thinking, and it won’t all happen immediately. Just like life itself, nothing usually comes easily or quickly.

Learn to get out of binary thinking. Learn that everything eventually is nuance. Learn this lesson or you get to burn. Learn that it’s okay that you want to judge a book by its cover, but maybe, just maybe, once you’ve judged that book by its cover, maybe instead of putting it down and walking away from it, maybe it might be worth your time to read a few paragraphs of the first chapter. Maybe give it a quick skim before moving on.

Or stay locked in your on/off binary line of thinking, I don’t care. All I can say is that it will be your loss and that lost opportunity may never come around to you again.

To you Good Sir, the one I had the conversation with.. I hope you read this, I hope this finds its way to you. I hope one day to see your face and to be able to sit down and have a drink with you and talk about life. I think that we have a lot in common.

Here’s to one day. Cheers.

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“Hold My Beer…”

person holding white labeled bottle

When we talk about men versus other men, we are talking about intrasexual competition. We are guys, we like to brag, to boast, and to compete. You all are with me so far right?

What if it all sums up to:

“Dude, hold my beer.”

A guy goes online and mentions/brags that he just got laid.

Inevitably another guy sees this and..

Dude! Hold my beer!

“I ONLY bang 9’s and 10’s Brah!”

Another guy goes online and mentions that he’s happily married with children.

Hold my beer…

“I’m happily married with children too AND a side of JESUS!”

A third guy talks about working out.

Hold my beer…

“Dude! I just benchpressed a Mack truck!”

A final guy talks about firearms and getting into “prepping.”

Hold my beer…

“Dude I own a HK-AR-AK-4792FS! I have a DECADE of supplies in my thermonuclear-proof, heavy duty, solid-steel and concrete Fort Knox of a bunker, two and a half miles underground under my house! And I just cranked out 40,000 rounds of 45 ACP, 100k of 7.62 full metal heat seeking missles, all while fixing my 1/2 ton while banging my wife of 35 years who is only 22 and happens to be a soft 9, impregnating her with our 7th son! What the fuck have you done you fucking loser?!”

Hold my beer indeed.

Power Dad’s and Mommy bloggers are just saying hold my beer.

Guys pointing at green lines on pictures of guys leaning in are just saying “Hold my beer! Look how straight and fucking narrow I stand!”

I’ve mentioned to a couple of people who stumbled onto the ‘Sphere that it’s like going back to high school and peeking into the boy’s locker room. Lots of bravado, chest thumping, bragging, and outright lies. But I actually think it’s more like going camping and hanging around the campfire and getting drunk and then Billy decides to jump through the fire to get a few laughs and to show how “brave” he is.

Of course Wade can’t be outdone, so it’s “Hold my beer…”

The next thing you know Wade is naked from the waist down other than his boots, his ball hairs just got singed off, and he has a first or second degree burn on his sac.

That’s what the ‘Sphere is. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much what all of Twitter is.

“Dude! Hold my beer…”

The next time your favorite “guru” decides to run at the mouth, throw that phrase in front of whatever he said. See if I’m wrong. Check the replies too. Lot’s of guys telling other guys to hold their beers.

Keep this in mind when you decide if you want to believe in whatever shit they are shoveling.

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Life After the Red Pill — Some Thoughts

“If you meet a Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet a Ghost, kill the Ghost” — Zen koan

I listened to Rob and Jack Napier the other day, discussing life after the Red Pill. Nothing that I haven’t heard before or have thought before. Just one more person, or two, saying it.

The fuzziness of my memory notwithstanding, I got my first taste of the Red Pill in 1989.  (Shit!)  I was in my freshman year at a small college in southeastern Kentucky. (A story for another time.) I was miserable, because I realized that I had been seduced by the glossy brochures and the claims that the “college experience” at the school was what I was looking for. It wasn’t. The college was small, the town was small (Walmart was the main shopping experience . . . let that sink in), and it was in Southern Baptist country. My only saving graces were that my second semester roommate, who was from southern Georgia, and I got along decently and shared many interests, and that the college library was fairly well stocked, so that I could go there most nights and read to my heart’s content. Oh, and there was some pretty good hiking to be had, since the college was in a green valley.

Other than that, I planned my escape the fourth week I was there. I then returned home to northeastern Ohio and attended another small college, but lived at home with my parents and worked at part-time jobs.

My second Red Pill dosage came with the jobs I worked, which were a mix of labor and service jobs, specific to that area and that time (pre-Internet). As to be expected, most of the jobs sucked, but not because of the job itself. (I, for one, tended to enjoy the night shift and work in warehouses.) It was because of the people. As the saying goes, “Work would be great if it weren’t for the people.” How true that was then, and how true that was now.

Part of my Red Pill dosage at that time was learning that the vast hordes of humanity are just there, taking up space, and filling the air with vocal utterances. Words and actions often didn’t match up, even though I expected them to. Of course, this was me still purging the legacy of having grown up in a stable household (yes, I aver to that claim) and dealing with jobs where things were more or less cut and dried. That slowly changed over time, as I was about to find out.

My third Red Pill dosage came when I was in South Korea in the mid-90s, teaching English. The year prior, I was enmeshed in a bad relationship, most of which was my fault. I was immature and didn’t know how to have a relationship, other than showing up and scheduling bedroom fun time. That failed relationship was a severe blow to my sense of identity and agency, and it took me several months to recover. Good thing that I was intending to go over to South Korea when I could, regardless of my state of mind at the time.

My fourth Red Pill dosage came after South Korea, when I undertook a career change from teaching to IT. The difficulties were those that I’ve since encountered again and again: e.g., HR Karens, online systems that create a Kafkaesque environment, waste-of-time interviews where the other person either isn’t the right one to interview you or that person doesn’t know what they want, and radio silence unless the employer says “hell, yes!” and pulls out all the stops to hire you. It’s frustrating, aggravating, debilitating, and dehumanizing. Yet, better you learn this earlier rather than later.

My fifth Red Pill dosage came when I was in the U.S. Army. There, I saw many of the dramatis personae I had seen in years prior, with other, added grotesqueries. I was in my early 30s, so this Red Pill dose was, really, just a booster shot.

So, then this leaves early 2010, when I got out of the Army after six years on active duty, my move here to where I’ve been living for the past ten years, a few job changes, and my introduction to the Red Pill “community” and the players within it.

What’s my assessment? Overall, it’s been great stuff, and I’ve learned a lot. However, the bloom has fallen off the rose, as it does, inevitably, with many things, and now I’m in the same position as Rob, I feel. I’m older now, slower, creakier, more winded, and, I hope, ostensibly wiser. Would reading, listening, or watching other Red Pill content serve me? Maybe, but in ever-diminishing amounts. I check in every once in a while, but I’ve absorbed a lot, to the point where I should be producing more and consuming less.

Which then leads me to my earlier point . . .

If you see Vince, Rob, TJ, Aaron, Rich, Rollo, etc. on the road, kill them.

Not literally, of course, but figuratively.

Kill your gurus, in other words, youz mugs.  Myeah.

Or, to quote Ludwig Wittgenstein:

My propositions serve as elucidations in the following way: anyone who understands me eventually recognizes them as nonsensical, when he has used them — as steps — to climb beyond them. (He must, so to speak, throw away the ladder after he has climbed up it.)
He must transcend these propositions, and then he will see the world aright.

Time to go play in the sun, see.  Myeah.

And take that left turn at Albuquerque.