No one wants to hear or see the truth. Not really.

So today I’m going to speak of truths, half-truths, and straight up stories and lies. Maybe you’ll be entertained, maybe not. Maybe you’ll figure out which parts are true, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll spot the lies, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll care, but I don’t care if you do. But maybe I do. Then again, maybe I don’t.

I have always seen myself as grandiose. Larger than life. But I’m also invisible, seen and heard by no one. I’m a Lover and a Hater. I’ve had abundance in everything and I also have nothing. Everything matters and yet it doesn’t. Everything has meaning and form and yet it’s all meaningless and formless. Life is both absurd and yet it’s beautiful and terrible at the same time.

I can seduce and be shunned at the same time. I can be Desired and scorned. I bring Value on occasion and on others I bring nonsense and nothing.

It’s strange how life is a paradox.

In order to “get good with women,” you have to be desireless. In order to love them, you also have to hate them, just a little bit. (h/t to Rian Stone.)

You can accept the world as it is or you can make it your own. And you can do both. Or you can do nothing at all.

There is structure to seduction and at the same time there is a “flow” or “vibe.” There is observation and intuition. There is seeing with your own eyes and also “trusting your gut.”

There is “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

But what about, “I’ll see it when I believe it?”

What are you not seeing because you don’t believe?

What are you not hearing because you turn a deaf ear? What are you not seeing because you turn a blind eye? What is not happening because you don’t believe it can happen?

I’ve always envisioned myself walking with one foot in this world and one foot in another. Is it a fantasy? Yes. Is it a reality? Also, yes. Is it neither? Also yes.

Luke Skywalker said to Yoda after Yoda pulled Luke’s X-Wing out of the swamp, “I don’t believe it!” To which Yoda replied, “That is why you fail.” Am I waxing poetic from a fictional film? Yes I am. Have I taken that little “fiction” and turned it into something that I can use to further my life? Yes, I have.

Am I rambling? Of course I am. It’s nonsensical, grandiose bullshit from a guy who is no one, who is mildly drunk and decided to sit down at a keyboard and type this nonsense out. It’s also my experience with life itself.

And yet I’ve acquired and attained things that if you asked me 30 years ago would be possible for me, I would have told you, “No way.”

I am happier now than I have ever been. And yet I’m alone. I have friends and lovers and I haven’t lost myself in the process, I’m still and will always be my own person. I’ve sacrificed it all and have been given all in return. I see it because I believe it.

What else is possible? How does it get better than this? I don’t know. But I know I’ll see it because I believe it.

I keep “pushing the envelope” to see what will happen. I keep looking and waiting to be told, “No. That’s enough. Stop.” I keep waiting for a boundary, a “line in the sand.” I haven’t found it yet. I push further than I ever thought possible. Resistance has been but a token. It’s all smoke and mirrors. It’s all bullshit and timidity on the part of others. It’s all fear based. This is in everything.

Is it “magical thinking?” Sure it is. It’s also pragmatic and realistic at the same time. It’s Order and Chaos. It’s Black and it’s White. It is both and it is neither. It is confusion and clarity all in one.

It is ancestry and “magical dirt.” A motherland or fatherland. It is also “home is where the heart is.” It is “wherever you go, there you are.” You’ll see it when you believe it.

You’ll get “good” at “it.” Or you won’t. You’ll see it when you believe it.

Life, relationships, sex, women, “success.” They are fantastic, until they aren’t.

Every single relationship I’ve ever had with a woman, with another human being, was great. Until it wasn’t. And then sometimes it was great again. And sometimes it was never great again with that particular person.

I’ve watched and learned by observing others do what I initially thought was impossible for me. I learned from them. Then I had to unlearn what I had learned in order to make it work for me. And then I fucked up and failed and failed again, until one day it “just worked.”

And then I was like, “Ah ha! I have succeeded! I am the master! I won!” Until the next thought came around which was, “Wait. Is that it? That’s all there is to it?” What a bummer. Something that I thought was so complex was actually pretty simple. Until it wasn’t. The rabbit-hole can be never ending sometimes. And sometimes it’s a dead-end.

I could spoon-feed certain things to you, Dear Reader. God knows, I had a discussion with BullRush about it a few weeks ago after an episode of Let ‘Em Burn. He was like, “You and me and a couple of other guys need to sit down and record this and talk about it.”

I agreed with him and I disagreed at the same time. “I don’t think most are ready for these things, Bull. But maybe they are. But why should I give it away for free? Why should I put it “out there” at all? They won’t appreciate it. They haven’t suffered for it from learned experience, so fuck them.” And so, for now, that conversation hasn’t happened. At least not that I know of or that I have been a part of.

Is it egotistic of me to say those things and pronounce “judgment?” Of course it is. But hard won, first hand experience trumps watching YouTube videos and book learning, hands down. Why should I spoon feed anyone? You don’t “deserve” it and you don’t have a “right” to it. Why should I tell you straight up what I have learned when you don’t listen and you won’t apply it?

You don’t want the truth, not really. You want “bread and circuses.” You want to be entertained. Are you not entertained? So I speak in truths, half-truths, and straight up stories and lies. Because that is ultimately what you want to see and hear.

Don’t worry bro, either “just be yourselves,” or be 6’4, jacked and ripped. Be a millionaire with a yacht and a Lambo. Just watch one more YouTube video and read the latest “How to Get The Girl Of Your Dreams,” just one more time. Then, then you’ll be able to finally “get the girl.”

Read this and either dig deep, or don’t. Spot the bullshit or don’t. You’ll see it when you believe it. Or you won’t. You’ll either take something from this, or not. Figure something out for yourselves, or cope.

What do you want? What beliefs are actually yours? What was “planted in your head” by someone else? Do you think it’s possible? Will you see it when you believe it? Or will you believe it when you see it?

The other day, Rian Stone was taking some random asshole on the internet to task. Rian was mentioning hypergamy in a brief tweet and along comes this guy who writes a novella as a response to Rian’s original tweet: “until they find someone else. Jk. Where I part ways with the big guys is on the topic of monogamy. Most say it isn’t natural. Our society makes alternatives possible because of modern medicine & we are dysfunctional as a result.” yadda yadda yadda. Notice the “theoretical and abstract” in this response. Pay attention to it. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, and you’ll see it everywhere.

Rian then quoted the guy and said, “This is the nonsense that fills your thoughts when you let people who don’t fuck talk to you about fucking.”

To which the guy continued to reply with: “Ouchhh. Let me refine my overall point: monogamy (TM) is not necessarily natural and everybody desires it; however, our current sexual norms are only possible because of modern medicine and contraceptives.” More theoretical and abstracts.

I then replied to the guy who wrote the novella with:

Hypergamy in four words: Don’t care, got laid. Which is actually from Rian himself. Yes, hypergamy is a thing. It is real, it exists. I don’t care. I got laid. Hypergamy has existed ever since humankind has existed, it is nothing new. It has always been there. And yet people have been and are still fucking. You can get hung up on hypergamy, what it is, what it means, and you can write a novel about it on twitter.

Or you can not care about it and go out and get laid. The choice is yours.

When you see “theoreticals and abstracts,” know this:

The guy who is talking in theoreticals and abstracts isn’t fucking.

Another tweet I made right after replying to Rian’s tweet was:

Shit tests in 4 words: Don’t care, got laid.

If you are worrying about shit tests from women, you ain’t fucking. In fact, you’re not going to make it. You’re just stepping on your own dick and worrying about shit, yet again, that doesn’t matter. All women shit test. It’s what they do and they usually aren’t aware that they are doing it. Have you ever had a guy “bust your balls?” That’s all that a shit test is. Except it’s coming from a woman.

I’ve had almost all of the men that I have met “bust my balls” in one way or another. How do I handle it? Same way I handle shit tests from women. I either ignore it altogether or agree and amplify. I don’t let it get to me. When you let a guy who is “busting your balls” get to you, you are showing him that you have “thin skin.” And he’ll tease you mercilessly. He’ll probably lose a little, or a lot, of respect for you too. Same thing with women and their shit tests.

Are you really going to be so anal and autistic as to worry about something that a woman said to you as to wonder if she is shit testing you or not? Really? You get to burn then. Stop worrying about what she is saying to you. Just enjoy the interaction and treat her like a human being. Or you can treat her as something other than human, like a set of obstacles to overcome. All I have to say to that is, to each their own. Also, how’s that working out for you, bud? But hey, don’t lean in, you’ll be fine. Make sure your green line is pointing exactly due north and make sure that you know that if she’s folding her arms, she’s definitely banging the waiter at the restaurant that you saw of her in the picture that is going around on the internet. Or better yet, just buy a Lambo. That’ll fix your autism and get you the girls. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Oh wait, you’re not 6 feet tall… Bummer dude.

You can fill your head with all sorts of bullshit and nonsense. Things that don’t fucking matter, really. Or you can go out and meet women and see them as human beings. You can analyze everything they say and do and run back to your bro’s on the internet and ask them a million questions and get a million different answers, and of course, all of those answers are right and correct. Or you can just enjoy her and your conversation with her. Do you actually see her as a woman? A human being? Or is she just another statistic on your “quest for masculinity?”

Are you going to let hypergamy, shit tests, the “evil’s of a high notch count,” and green lines be “a thing?” Or are you going to let it go, stop giving a fuck, and just enjoy her and yourself while you are at it?