Desperate And Lying Guys, And The Things They Say..

“A conversation no one is ready for is when it comes to choosing a spouse attractiveness is MAYBE 3rd on the list, might be situationally lower for many.” – Skull King Bjorn

I ran across this particular tweet, thanks to Rian Stone quoting it and giving his own two cents about it. I liked what Rian said, and I’ll come back to that in a bit, but for now, let’s talk about my take on this tweet, shall we?

I’m going to start off by saying that this particular tweet is one of the most dangerous tweets that I have seen in a while. I’m not trying to be melodramatic, but it really is that dangerous. Why is it dangerous?

Because if you believe in what he is saying, you’re going to be disappointed down the road, and that’s because you are going to “settle.”

Only someone who is desperate and who is lying to himself would say that attractiveness is “MAYBE 3rd on the list.” What I’m hearing him say without saying it is, “It’s what’s on the inside that matters.” I would know, because that is how I ended up getting married back in 2009.

My ex-wife was never a “hot” woman. But she was kind. And she was self-sufficient. And she laughed at my jokes. And she liked to touch my dick. The truth is, I was desperate and lying to myself back then. I was in a place where women were few and far between. “Thirst is the worst,” as Rian states it, and indeed it is. I was thirsty and I had a low self-esteem and I didn’t think I could do any better than her, and I didn’t want to be “shallow,” because “it’s what’s on the inside that matters.” And I was getting older. Are you getting the picture here yet?

Fast forward towards the end of my marriage…

She had gained weight. She was never a petite girl, but yeah.

And there was a host of other things that contributed to the demise of our marriage, and if they had been in a vacuum, I could have probably dealt with them. Each of those things by themselves wasn’t enough for me to pull the pin on the grenade, but altogether? Goodbye marriage, hello divorce and being single again.

When I got divorced, I hit the ground running when it came to dating and sex. Turns out my sex-drive wasn’t diminished because of aging and “low T,” it had gone to sleep. Once I started dating women that I was truly, actually attracted to, I couldn’t stop fucking. It was like being 20 years old, all over again.

Even today at the tender age of 51 as I write this, I literally can’t stop fucking. I can’t stop fucking the belly dancer, or Velvet, or Kitten, or some of the other women that I met in my past. That’s because for me, attractiveness is NUMBER ONE. Go on and tell me I’m “shallow.” I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK.

Any man who tells you that attractiveness is “MAYBE 3rd on the list” is fucking lying.

He’s lying to you, the reader, watcher, or listener, and he’s lying to himself. The only part that I can’t figure out and ultimately doesn’t really matter is, is he lying intentionally or not?

A guy who says that attractiveness is “MAYBE 3rd on the list” is desperate and he is lying, at least to himself. If you want something that will potentially “stand the test of time,” you have to be attracted to her. If not, you have a roommate who you are raising kids with, if that’s how your life turns out. Or you have a “friend.” A “good friend.” Someone that you can share a few laughs with and swap stories with. But that’s about it.

Take it from a guy who ultimately didn’t want to fuck his own wife. And look where that went.

To wrap it up, I’m going to post Rian’s quote for posterity:

“This has no attachment to reality.” And THAT is why it is so dangerous.

But if you read it enough times, you too, might start seeing the “sense” in it. If you do, all I can say is, “You get to burn, and I’ll see you in a couple of years.”

6 thoughts on “Desperate And Lying Guys, And The Things They Say..

  1. One of the few Christians to try to tackle this one.

    It is relatively dishonest to marry someone you weren’t attracted to in this modern age. It isn’t something to feign. It will take a lot of work and prayer to make it work out if you are not attracted to your significant other. Many people don’t have that level of work ethic in them or have some type of alternative path in them.

    It is really Pollyanna (and dishonest) to marry someone hoping you can “grow” attraction for.

    I hated hearing stories of the church going crowds doing this. Worse that no one is willing to say it, either. This was Churchian stuff from the 80s and 90s that held over. “Pray, pray, pray it is going to workout, etc.” My big beef was that people were nowhere near reality and loved to bs people with dream boat shit.

    Ranks up there with marrying someone, knowing you might be gay or a lesbian,

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Rob, if you aren’t initially attracted to her it’s not going to work. It’s how we are wired. I’m glad you posted this. It needed to be said. Looks aren’t everything, but it’s a lot. Yes, looks fade over the years, but that’s when her kindness, caring and other attributes become the wife goggles. You are right, to marry someone you’re not attracted to is settling. Nobody should settle.

    Liked by 2 people

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