For any of my readers out there, whether you are new or returning, I want you to understand something about me. This will help with the rest of this post that I’m writing about today. I’ve always considered myself to be a “big picture” guy. I’ve always been more interested in application than theory for the most part. I don’t like to get bogged down into minutae, and so I try to find ways to “chunk up” as it were. Sayings like, “be attractive, don’t be unattractive,” are hugely appealing to me, as that way I have a lot of leeway where I can make things happen, and not get too caught up in the details. I’m the guy that had a lot of fun in applied psychology where I would try something out and if it worked, great! Do that again until it doesn’t. If it didn’t work out, well shit, let’s try something else. I have never worried too much about the “why’s” of things, I’m far more interested in the “how’s.” There are definitely better writer’s out there that can give you a lot of details, theories, and the “why’s” of something, nothing wrong with that, but for me, I’m the “fly by the seat of the pants” and see what happens guy. This may not be the best approach to doing things, especially when it comes to things of a highly dangerous or technical nature, but hey, I’m still here, breathing and running my mouth, and I’ve still got all my appendages.
That being said, let’s move on…
What do you think is the most powerful drug in the world?
It isn’t meth. It isn’t coke. It isn’t pot, LSD, ‘shrooms, XTC, or alcohol.
Now why did I throw quotes around love? Because I’m pretty sure that it’s a complex chemical cocktail that goes on in our heads and bodies. I could throw around words like dopamine, adrenaline, serotonin, ad nauseum, but I’m not going to. I’m also not going to give the word love a divine, mystical, other worldly or other being connotation either. Let’s leave the mystic, magical thinking, mumbo-jumbo out of it for today’s ramble and just agree for now that love is a chemical reaction that goes on in our bodies.
Yes, I know, I’m not being very romantic here. Deal with it.
It’s the highest high you will ever experience. The feelings of it can last longer than any other drug that you happen to ingest in whatever way. Most drugs last a few hours at most, maybe even a day. Seldom longer than that though. Some drugs only last a few minutes before you are either maintaining, sustaining, or chasing after that next high. Gotta take another hit, dose, shot, whatever.
Not love though. That one first hit of it, can go for days, weeks, even months. I would know because I’ve been in love several times throughout the years. I’m not talking about lust, or being horny. Yes, they are similar in nature, but I don’t believe that the rush is as intense nor does it last very long. Being horny or in a state of lust is powerful, but it can be abated pretty quickly. Have an orgasm and the horniness is slaked for the time being.
Love isn’t quite like that though. When I’ve been in love, I couldn’t think straight. The weird part is, on a certain level, I knew this. I don’t know about you guys reading this, but there’s been times in my past where I would get drunk or something, and yet there was this little part of me that was always sober. That part, usually in my brain, at least for descriptive purposes, would usually speak up at some point and say something like, “I just want to be sober right now,” or “What the fuck are you doing?” That last message was the more common one. Usually right after that message, the rest of me that was drunk would say something like, “Whee! Gimme another! Watch this! Hold my beer! Check this out!” And it would all be downhill from there until I actually sobered up.
That’s also how it’s been for me when I’ve been in love. Part of me knows that I can’t think straight, but then the “love drunk” part of me is saying, “Wheee! This is fun! She is awesome and I just want to run naked through her hair, lick every inch of her body, devour every last part of her, consume her, so that she’s inside of me, and burrow my nose and face on her so that I can inhale her.”
When I first met my ex girlfriend, in the very beginning, it was just lust. She looked good and I wanted to fuck and fuck and fuck, but then the love kicked in. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t think straight. I was consumed. It was the highest high. And that high went on for about six months, maybe more. That sober part of me would take control for awhile and things would be “normal” for a bit, but then she would show up, my brain would get a chemical bath, and it was off to the races again.
It’s something else, love. To feel that you have someone that sees you for who you really are. And they accept you for who you really are. They just get you. And they are okay with you being you. They are even turned on by you being you. Powerful stuff. Now these things, are they in fact, “real?” I don’t believe so, not in a literal sense. No one can truly know who you are, nor you them. But it’s what we create in our minds with that chemical bath. Powerful stuff indeed.
Now, I don’t know if this is how everyone is when they first “fall in love.” I would imagine that it’s something like this based on what I’ve heard people say, watched what they do, so on and so forth.
I’m pretty sure that “why” we experience this is hardwired so that we want to procreate and have children, and also the way that we pair bond. Like I said earlier, I’m not going to get into the “science” of it all, and I’m not going to get bogged down into the details. Let’s just leave it at we can all experience love, and it’s what we chase after, day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. If not, then why do we get up in the morning? Why do we do what we do? Why do we bother with doing anything at all? Why not just lie down and wait to die?
That all being said, I think it (love) is a wonderful thing. It’s a drug though. In my opinion it’s probably the most powerful and potent one out there. We all do some stupid and crazy shit to get a hit of it.
Where am I going with all of this? Here’s the wrap up:
When you, or somebody you know is in love, especially in the beginning, they can’t think straight. They are literally drunk or fucked up. And that’s okay. Hell, I think it’s a function and a feature, not a glitch or a bug in how we are. But keep that in mind when you are dealing with someone that is in love. Their mind isn’t focused or really in the here and now. They can’t think straight. So take whatever they say or do with a grain of salt. Don’t get caught up in their emotional high. Especially when they are handing out advice.
I know that I would give them some space to enjoy the rush and let it course through them, maybe six months or more, before I would take them seriously again. Gotta get through that good shit, if you know what I mean.
At the end of the day, we are all just a bunch of “love” junkies.
Ah “love.” Best drug ever.