The New Little Rascals Building Forts

two-cats-one-box-fort-asshole
The Problem Is, You Can Only Have One Asshole In Fort Asshole

Hat tip to Nick August, @StoicRed1 on Twitter, for the title and the inspiration for this post.

Without knowing it at the time, Nick brought up something for me that has been an itch that I’ve been needing to scratch. His quote above brought it to the surface for me, and now, hopefully, I’ll get to scratch that motherfucker.

So here’s the deal:

I’ve always considered myself as a guy who is interested in what “is” instead of what “ought to be,” or what “was.” I’ve always been interested in improving myself instead of trying to be a part of a group. I know that the desire to be a part of something “bigger” is a real thing, and we are herd animals by nature. We are social, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve been a part of different groups over the years. Everything from the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts when I was a kid, to having a band in high school, to being in an honor society during college, and the last group that I affliliated with and belonged to was a Motorcycle Club. I understand group affiliation and the need to belong.

I also understand that you should seriously consider what it is that you’re looking for before joining a group. TJ Martinell wrote about it awhile ago, and it had something to do with “gamma’s” and also if you want to know how the group is, look to its leader. How is the leader, or leadership? The problem that I’ve encountered with most groups, especially those that are online, is that nothing actually gets accomplished or gets done except for possibly the “worship” of the leadership, and a lot of back patting each other. A lot of sitting around, talking shit, buying yet more “courses” or “secret information” from the leadership, a lot of digital “high-fives,” and a lot of mental masturbation.

I’m not part of any online groups at this time, other than hanging out with the guys from Masculine Geek. I do know and have happened to talk to some guys who either are, or were, a part of some online “exclusive” groups, groups coincidentally that you had to pay some sort of fee to join, and these people have given me a small taste of what is going on in these online groups. All the shit that I just mentioned? Yeah, that’s what’s going on.

Larping with a side of mental masturbation is what is going on. That and for a lot of guys in these groups, a lightening of their wallets. Personally, I don’t have an issue with the leadership fleecing its flock. A fool and his money are soon parted, or something like that. Sometimes that is the lesson that is needed. “What did you get out of that group, bud?” “Nothing but broke. But hey, I won’t be doing that again!” You get to burn.

The New Little Rascals Building Forts. In this case, cardboard box forts. Forts made of farts and hot air. But don’t worry Brother! We are going to save the West! Join us now and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!

Ooops, my bad, wrong quote.

The West can’t be saved because it doesn’t want to be saved. It would have already been saved by now, but here we are, on an express train to hell, with no engineer at the controls, and if you were to get inside the engine cab, you would find that the controls are broken and nobody has the manual or the tools to fix it. And nobody wants to fix it. Except for maybe that one leader guy and his seven subscribers to his online group. But even they don’t want to “Save the West.” They just want to talk about saving the West. The leader just wants to keep them around longer in order to get more money from the monthly memberships and whatever online courses he can sell to them. Otherwise, he’ll have to go back out in the real world and get an actual job. But fuck it, you’ve got money to blow and the camaraderie is awesome, so why not?

I’m more interested in how I can be more self-sufficient and how the world actually operates, instead of how I wished it operated. I understand that a Man cannot be an island unto himself, that teamwork gets things done faster, better, and more efficiently. But when the leadership and the group itself has no real idea of what is going on, and they have no real idea of how to deal with the situation that they claim to know about, yeah, that can be a problem. But hey, go ahead and join that group and build a cardboard box fort with your new buddies. Tell me how’s that working out for ya, bud?

Like most platitudes, mantras, and slogans, “building forts” is another narcotic. It makes you feel good getting those high-fives and back slaps, but at the end of the day, are you actually accomplishing something? Did you learn a skill? Are you learning something of actual substance?

Or did you get the latest “secret?” The latest “insider information?” If whatever it is made you feel good, it’s probably bullshit and a narcotic. Have fun with that. At least when I hang out with my group, I drink beer.

I’ll be over here dealing with “what is,” instead of building paper forts with the buds.

Honestly, you would be better off looking for something in your locality, literally in your own neighborhood when it comes to joining a group. At least I got to drink and ride with my Brothers in the club and we had each other’s back when shit went down. Real life beats online hands down, every time.

Like Nick said, “The question is, what do you need for the most important part of your journey, the part where you have to go it alone?” Are your buddies in their digital online fort going to be there for you? Probably not. When the money runs out, your money, let’s see where you are left standing, and who is still standing with you. Hint: I’m not going to hold my breath.

Better hope your new online buddies in your new online group, building their new online cardboard box fort are teaching you how to go it alone. You’ve got to be able to go it alone, because at some point, you’ll have no other choice but to go it alone. I guarantee you that.

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Do You Even “Like” Women?

afterglow art backlit bokeh

“A Man Who Loves Women is Loved By Women.” – Zan Perrion.
Yeah yeah, Zan has received flak for being “purple pilled.” He’s definitely got a sort of “new age sensitive guy” thing going on and he can get all metaphysical, flowery, and mystical.
He’s not wrong though.
I’ve got a serious question for you guys though. It might be one of the most serious questions of your life.
You don’t need to answer me, but you do need to answer to yourself, and be honest with yourself. There’s no wrong answer here.
Here’s the question:
Do you like women?
I’m pretty sure you guys want women for a variety of reasons. But do you like them? Or do you simply want what they can give you? Do you want something from them? No wrong answers.
I’m bracing for the inevitable, “You’re virtue signalling to the wahmen!” with my next remark, but fuck it, here it goes:
I like women. I like being around them. I like them for being them. I honestly don’t have an agenda with them.  It’s not always about attraction and sex, I just genuinely like them. Even when they say and do stupid shit.
It wasn’t always that way.
Of course I wanted sex. Who doesn’t? But I can say up until a couple of years ago, I didn’t actually like them. I didn’t trust them. I figured they had agendas (and they do, but everyone does.) Hypergamy, AWALT, branch swinging, all of that stuff. Now I know that stuff exists and I know that women can and sometimes do, some fucked up shit. But I like them anyway. It’s a conscious choice for me.
I have a friend who recently started unplugging from the matrix. He’s taking care of his weight and his diet. He’s dressing better. He’s even starting to “get back out there” as far as being around women goes.
He’s still dealing with a lot of shit though. His latest thing is his “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” thing. He’s snubbing women closer to his own (and my own) age. Basically one of those, “Ha! Fuck you ladies! You didn’t want me back when we were in our 20’s! Well you can’t have me now in our late 40’s! Suck it!”
I’m exaggerating on the language part, but that’s pretty much the mentality. I know what that’s like because I’ve been there too, in the past. But I got through it and over it. I hope he does too. Until then, he gets to burn. I’m not going to try to tell him, “Dude. What you’re doing? Yeah, that’s not it.”
Guys, if you want to get “good” with women, I want you to understand a few things:
There are no tricks, hacks, tips, magic pills, short cuts, systems, or lines that will work.
Not if you want to be “good” with women over the long haul. Yeah you might pick up a few drunk ones and maybe a couple of really adventurous ones once in awhile using lines, hacks, systems and tricks. But honestly, almost all women can smell that bullshit from miles away. I know because I’ve tried it and failed spectacularly.
First things first. You have to get your mental shit together. You have to genuinely like women. You can’t hold grudges and do this “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” bullshit with them. So whatever bullshit you have against the women from your past, you need to get through that. You need to deal with that. You need to get over it.
You have to like women in order to love women. And if and when you do, they will love you in return and that’s when things get really fun and interesting. That’s when the world opens up to you.
I’m not bullshitting you and trying to paint some bullshit fluffy picture. It’s the only way I can describe it though.
When I gave up my anger towards women and began to actually genuinely like them, I learned to love them and they loved me back, hard.
So when you see or hear guys talk about, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah lol” Dude, that’s not it.
It’s okay if you don’t like them right now. Maybe you got really fucked over. Maybe you got really fucked over more than once. I get it. I’m not judging you. You just need to be honest with yourself and where you are at right now, mentally, with women.
Do you like them? Or do you just want something from them? Sex? Validation? Cure for loneliness? A hate fuck? It’s all good by me.
Do you like talking to them because you enjoy conversing with them? Or are you trying to “seduce” them? There’s a difference here.
I’m sure that I’m going to catch heat for what I’ve said here. “You’re pedestalizing the wahmen!” “You’re making it all about the wahmen!” “You’re giving the wahmen a pass!” “Your frame! You’re losing it!” No. I’m not.
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Stoicism

person on a bridge near a lake

I’ve had some people reach out to me recently, asking me about Stoicism. I’m flattered and surprised that they are asking me about it, because frankly, what I am and what I do, I don’t consider “textbook” stoicism as it were. I don’t even know if I would call it stoicism at all. I’m just doing “me.”

I think I’ve got Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations somewhere. I think I have it on my Kindle. I think I’ve even read bits of it here and there. Honestly I don’t remember and I don’t really care. Beating off to dead philosphers has never really been my gig. There’s a world of experience to be had with the living that I would rather do than read philosophy.

My “brand” of stoicism would be ZFG. Zero Fucks Given. I don’t give a fuck what you think for the most part and I don’t give a fuck if you do or don’t give a fuck about that. I do me, that’s what I do.

How did I get “here” though? Maybe that’s the question that I’m being asked, even if not in those words.

Two major things happened that got me “here.”

  1. My mother died.
  2. A relationship that I had, that I didn’t want to end, and was terrified that it would end, ended.

Both happened within two weeks of each other. Back to back blows.

And I’m still here. I’m still walking, living, and breathing. I’m still standing. I’ve survived. I survived “it.”

I went through a period of grief and mourning for both deaths, and then I got on with living. As if there’s another alternative. If I survived that, I believe I can survive anything.

I gave up my fear. (For more on that, you should have signed up for the Masculine Geek newsletter, I talked about it there) I gave up my expectations of outcomes and was willing to see what would show up. I let go of disappointment for the most part. I made a choice to enjoy my life and I know that “good” times and “bad” times happen. I know that women will walk into my life and that they will also walk out of it too. Or I’ll walk out of theirs. Either way, there will always be another.

I realized that nobody gives a shit what I do or what I think. And that’s one of the most liberating things that happened to me. Since nobody gives a shit, I can do pretty much whatever I want. I know I’m not for everybody, I’m not everybody’s “cup of tea.” Nor are they mine. And that’s totally okay.

I don’t try and keep people in my life, I don’t try and hold them back from whatever it is that they seek. They are welcome to be around me for as long as they like or as long as I like. When they go, that’s okay, others will show up to take their place eventually. I’ll remember them and I choose to enjoy their company for the time that we share our lives in whatever form. I learn from them and I imagine they learn from me too. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. That part, that’s on them.

I gave up arguing with people, especially random motherfuckers on the internet. What a total waste of time and air. They get to burn. Just like I got to burn. Just like I’m positive that I’ll set myself on fire and burn again.

I learned to vote with my attention as well as my wallet. I only give attention and money to those things and people that I happen to care about, otherwise, fuck ’em. I’m okay with being the villain.

I know for a fact that I’ve covered all of this before in other posts and even in videos. So why am I going over it again? Because people asked and I’m trying the best way I can to describe my mental and emotional state I guess.

In some ways, all of how I got “here” took many experiences and a lot of time, and at the same time, it literally feels like one day I woke up, and here I was. Poof! Just like that.

I really have to thank Rian Stone. That Man popped my outrage bubble for me. I can’t control the bullshit that is against Men, even though Men aren’t the target audience. At least not my demographic. That was a huge vote with your attention moment for me. Huge. Rian, if you read this, thank you. And if you ever get to Salt Lake City, Utah, the drinks are on me.

I’m going to sound like I’m going off topic here, but bear with me, I promise I’m not.

Why do we lie to ourselves and each other? Rhetorical question. I believe at least one answer is because we are afraid of losing something. We lie to women because we don’t want to lose them as an “option.” We lie to them in order to get the pussy, to get laid. We lie because we get lonely. And women lie to us for similar reasons. We lie to ourselves because we put expectations on ourselves that we haven’t met. We don’t want to be losers. We don’t want to be seen as losers. We still care what other people think of us. We still give a fuck.

When you stop giving a fuck, you can be honest with yourself and with others. I’m not advocating intentional rudeness and being a douche or a sadistic prick. But when you are honest you become a breath of fresh air for yourself and for others, that’s the only way I can describe it. You let down your guard and they let theirs down too. That’s been my experience anyways. Don’t be naive and don’t eat paint (as Rian would say) but you get the idea. At least I hope you do.

I’m honest with the women that I meet and interact with. I know what I want, the question is, is it something that they want? If yes, great! Let’s do this! If not, no big deal. Thank you for your time, I enjoyed our moment, and it was a pleasure meeting you. And then move on.

Guys, I’m here to LIVE. I don’t have time for your morality crusade if that’s what you’re on. I don’t give a fuck about it. I want to live every moment to the hilt. I live in the present and I don’t dwell on the past. The past is the past. You can’t change it, undo it, or rewrite it, so fuck it, let it go. I don’t worry too much about the future either. “Men plan and God laughs.” I have ideas of where I want to go, what I want to see, and what I want to do, but I’m flexible enough to adapt as the situation warrants. And if it doesn’t work out the way that I envisioned? Fuck it. There’s always another opportunity. Or maybe, just maybe, it worked out even better than I had thought it would? Wrap your heads around that one.

I keep moving ever forward. I keep on keeping on. I learned to get out of my head and into my body. I stopped over-analyzing every little thing. I stopped overthinking things. Sometimes there is no hidden meaning there for you to discover. Sometimes the only meaning for something is whatever meaning you choose to give it. Sometimes things are only important because you give a fuck and make them important. The rest of the world doesn’t give a shit, so keep that in mind.

It’s kind of difficult for me to write about this subject because it requires me to give it a lot of thought and I’m used to just “doing” it. I guess I’ve “internalized” it or whatever.

I’m tired of rambling, so I’ll wrap it up with this:

Good times and bad times come and go. Women come and go. Nobody gives a shit, so neither should you. (Hey that rhymes! Sort of.) Stop being afraid of yourself and others. Start pushing the envelope and see what happens, you’ll find out more often than not, that people will go along with whatever it is you are doing or wanting to do. Be honest with yourself about what you want. Ideally, be honest with others about it too. They can’t actually use it against you as a weapon if you do. And if they do? You’ll survive. You’ll still find yourself standing. If you do fall on your ass though, or get put on your ass? Get back up and keep going.

Guys, for the record, this isn’t despair or nihilism. This is life. It is what it is. You can choose to enjoy it or you can be miserable in it. It’s up to you.

Go back and read the last year of my blog. Besides my love affair with women, and a few rants, all of what I’ve been talking about here is in there in one form or another.

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