Tag: online dating

Sheila Likes…

Rob Says2 Comments
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“Sheila”

Sheila likes Tequila – Steelheart

I swear to god that my entire life is a fucking soundtrack. Every major event for me and even some of the minor ones, have an accompanying soundtrack. It’s one part musical, one part opera, and one part concert that is constantly going on in the background.

Today is no exception.

Red Pill Dad wrote a totally awesome blog post the other day that specifically dealt with the question of, “Do you give a woman your phone number, or do you take her number from her?” While he definitely came at it from a particular angle and I do happen to agree with him, I can also see the “other side” as well. As a side-note, I’ve had some success with both approaches. To me, it all depends on the context and the woman. More importantly though, Red Pill Dad addressed the pudwacks in the Spergosphere. On that particular topic I agree with him 110% and then some. Maybe that is part of why I do what I do. I got tired of seeing the dipshits doing dipshittery and taking other guys down with them. It’s tough enough out in the world trying to be a Man, let alone have some dumbass filling your head with nothing but pure unadulterated bullshit.

Anyways, while I was reading his article, I was drinking a beer and listening to Steelheart, and the song “Sheila” came on. I have no idea why, but this song reminds me of a woman that I met this last December.

Now mind you, I met her online, and she’s 43 (Gasp! I can almost hear and see the pudwacks pulling their dicks out to have a masturbation circle over what I’m writing about. Dude! I only bang 9’s and 10’s! She’s old! Blah, blah, blah…)

“Sheila” is another woman with a bunch of red flags.

Now, I don’t want you, Gentle Reader, to misunderstand me. I’m not shitting on her. She was an amazing woman. She was under 5 feet tall, 4’9 if my memory serves me correctly, and to a short fucker like me, that made me a literal giant when she stood next to me. She weighed 95 pounds, had an athletic build, and had no children. She was intelligent, had a razor sharp wit, and even had the goth thing going on. Physically, this woman pressed ALL of my buttons. Well, almost all of my buttons. The only thing that I could bitch about was her hair was much shorter than I generally like. But now I’m just being picky.

But…

The red flags…. And oh man, were there red flags…

She was on SSRI’s. She had enough mental issues going on that she was able to get disability from the state. She didn’t have a job and she didn’t work. She didn’t have a car, and she didn’t have a drivers license. And at 43 years old, she lived at home with her parents.

Whew…

Being on disability is a big one for me. That means she’s on a fixed income with a minimal likelihood that it was going to improve unless things in her life changed in a major way and she was able to rejoin the workforce. I can’t have that in my life. Not in any medium to long term sense. I can’t be the only one bringing in the money. She has got to be able to pull her own weight to some degree.

The not having a car or the ability to drive legally was another big one for me. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lazy fucker and I like my women to be able to drive to me. I like it when they will come to my house, help me fix dinner, fuck me, maybe sleep over, but then drive their happy asses home the next morning, or even later that same night. The idea that I would have to play chauffeur for her happy ass is not something I wanted to do except maybe once or twice, but after that? Nah.

Did I mention that this poor woman had been engaged and that her fiance had committed suicide? Oh I must have forgotten that one earlier. That was something I learned from her on the first and only occasion that I went out with her. While we were driving to the bar to get a drink is when I learned about her guy and how less than a year earlier, he had taken his own life.

“Sheila” wasn’t ready to date. Why she was on dating apps still blows my mind to this day. She hadn’t dealt with her grief and her loss and here she was, out on the town with a guy who wanted to bang the fuck out of her.

Ultimately “Sheila” and I went nowhere. There was nowhere to go and the writing was clearly on the wall for me. I just wanted to bang because she pressed all of my physical buttons. Given half a chance, I would still take a swing at that one. The red flags though, they are too much, even for me, especially when all I wanted to do was bang.

Not every encounter is a win. Not every date is a lay. Sometimes they “get away,” and sometimes you release them because you know what you are getting yourself into and it’s not worth the energy or the effort. Sometimes the results aren’t worth the price you pay.

I like to think that “Sheila” is getting help for her myriad of ills and issues. I really hope she does. She’s a sweet girl who is highly intelligent, has a fantastic body that she takes a lot of pride in and takes care of, and whether you believe “deserve” has anything to do with anything, I believe she “deserves” another chance at finding love and happiness. She just won’t find it with me.

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Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

Rob Says1 Comment

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First off, I want to say that learning how to do day game, night game, or whatever you want to call it is better than doing online game, at least in general. With day and night game, you get immediate feedback from the girls you are approaching, you learn how to interact better socially, and ultimately you start to lose a lot of what is called approach anxiety.

I’m in agreement with the guys who say do day game or night game over online dating, learn that before dealing with the online dating world. You’ll get better results with the women that you are actually attracted to over enough time if you keep at it and are consistent.

That being said, I personally like to keep all of my options open. I don’t believe in a day game or night game only, model. The more opportunities that I can have, the better.

So here’s some things about online dating, some pro’s and con’s if you will, and ultimately why online dating works for me.

Like I said earlier, with day game or night game, you can approach a lot of women quick and get immediate feedback. No waiting around to see if they “match” or “like” you. Also there is no waiting around for feedback. Online dating takes time, much like fishing. But for me, that works.

I don’t mind baiting my lure, casting it out, and then settling in and waiting to see what happens.

First off: I’m lazy. I’ll admit it. I work 10 hour shifts 4 sometimes 5 days a week. I spend most of that time driving around, dealing with traffic, dealing with pedestrians, dealing with parking, and dealing with high temperatures in the summer and cold temperatures in the winter. I’m out in the elements most of my day. My job is physically taxing and by the time I get done with my day and I go home, the last thing I want to do, especially on the week days, is get cleaned up, jump back into my car, head back downtown to where all the action is, wander around and approach only to get shot down and then go home to go to bed so that I can get up and do it all again the next day.

At one point several years ago, I asked myself a question. I didn’t care how outlandish the answer seemed, I just wanted to get my creativity going and go from there. That question was: “When it comes to women, what do I want?”

My answer was: “I want them to come over to my house, have sex with me, and then go home.” That way, no matter what, I “won.” I “won” because they would either show up and we would have sex and then they would go home, or they wouldn’t show up because they flaked, or ghosted, or changed their minds. Either way, I was where I wanted to be: Home.

Enter online dating.

I can do it from my laptop or my phone. I don’t have to get dressed up and go somewhere to do it. I can do it from my bed before I go to sleep if I want to. I have my full time job, I have all my assorted shows, videos, audios, books, meals, housekeeping, and sleep to do. My days are pretty much full from the time I get up to the time that I go to bed. Having some spare time to literally “do nothing” is almost a foreign concept to me and I treasure it when it happens to come along.

Online dating takes longer, you’ll still get ghosted and flaked on, you have the added hassle of catfishing and spam bots, and the quality of the women has a ceiling. You won’t find hard 7’s or higher on online dating. That’s because they don’t need to use online dating because guys will approach them and hit on them at work, or at the bar, or at the grocery store, or wherever they happen to be.

You also have to realize that all women are wizards and that they will use makeup, filters, and bizarre and strange photo angles to hide what their bodies actually look like. Protip for the noobs: If all you see are head shots, she’s fat.

Since my life is pretty full and I happen to be lazy, at least when it comes to wanting to go out and “do shit,” online dating works for me. I can carpet bomb the women that I find attractive, shut down the app or the site, do whatever else it is that I need to do, and then go back and deal with any hits.

Remember my ultimate goal is to get them to come to my house, fuck me, and then go home. I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not looking for “a keeper.” I’m not looking to play house. I’m not Mr. Right, I’m Mr. Right Now. I’m a big fan of catch and release. I like sport fucking. I like slumber parties. And when it comes to attractiveness, I don’t care what strangers and assholes on the internet think. I don’t care what my Dad thinks. I don’t care what my real life friends think. All that matters to me is do I find her attractive. Does she pass the “boner test” for me? If yes, swipe right. If not, swipe left.

When I get a “match” my goal is then to get her off the app and get her on the phone. I do this by being funny and showing her that I have a sense of humor and that I’m a fun, mostly sane guy who isn’t going to murder her and bury her in a shallow grave. I’ll do 3 or 4 texts on the app and then go for the phone number.

Either I get the number and I’ll then drop the app and do everything by phone calls from that point forward, or she won’t give me the number and usually from there I move on to better prospects. My time is valuable and I don’t want to waste it. I’m still “winning” though, because I’m home.

All this whole time, my mindset, my goal, is to get her out of her house and get her into mine so that we can have sex and then she can go home. The hardest time is the first time. After that, if she and I are interested in a “round 2” it’s simply a matter of calling her up, getting her to come over, and then working out logistics.

It’s totally possible to get a woman whom you have never met and she has never met you, to show up to your house, fuck you, and then leave if that is what you want. Once you’ve done it once, you can do it again. Repetition for the win.

Have I ever had a woman show up to my house and I realize that I DON’T want to have sex with her? Yes, that happened once many years ago. Call it a learning lesson. So now once I get the phone number, I get her to either send more photos, which tend to be more revealing, or in today’s world, I can get her on something like Messenger where I can video chat with her and see what she looks like better.

Ultimately this has been a long and rambling way of saying, while online dating and swipe apps aren’t always the way to go, don’t eliminate your options. While online dating is far from ideal, it can work. Know the limitations of it. Know yourself and what it is that you want, and be realistic in your expectations. Know your own limitations. Know your strengths.

Know what you want and what are your goals and go from there.

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What Online Dating Body Types Mean in 2020

Rob Says2 Comments
three women s doing exercises
This is “Thin” or “Athletic.”

I wrote a post about an experience I had with a friend of mine while at a couple of bars, and today I want to expand on that with some other observations and information.

The last time that I had seriously done “the bar thing” was over 20 years ago. Probably closer to 23 years ago. I started going back to the bar in late 2019/early 2020 before the pandemic hit and put that on pause. The bar I would go to had an eclectic mix of people and a wide demographic of ages.

Everything from the early 20-somethings up to the early to mid 60-somethings if I had to guess, was there. I’ll be honest and say right now that guessing someone’s age has never been my biggest strength. So there was roughly an equal ratio of men to women and the age groups were pretty much all represented at this particular bar.

The last bar that I went to though, the age demographic was almost entirely the early to mid 20-somethings. There might have been a few in their late 20’s and a very, very small handful of people in their early 30’s. Definitely what you would call the “college crowd.” And then there was me and my buddy, the two “old” guys in the bar.

I’ll be honest when I say I was a little hesitant to going to this particular bar. My buddy told me about it as he had been there a few times before and he really enjoyed it. “Lot’s of eye candy” as he put it. I was hesitant because I remember what it was like being in my mid 20’s and there was always “that one creepy old guy in the bar.” Everybody would look at him and roll their eyes and wrinkle their noses up at him. Girls would laugh and not in a good way. That guy was tolerated at best and pitied and avoided at worst. I definitely did not want to be “that guy.”

As things would have it though, I didn’t have to worry about it. Everyone was very friendly with me. I can see why for some of it. The bar was happy for the patronage and when you’re the “new guy” everybody is interested in you to one degree or another. Whether it’s intrasexual competition from the other guys in the bar, or it’s the possibility of an encounter with the women, you’re being sized up. Especially when you’re new.

Nobody had an issue with my buddy and me being there and honestly I didn’t care. Being comfortable in your own skin will do that. A couple of beers doesn’t hurt either.

So here’s what I’ve observed and don’t worry, I’m going to take these observations and apply them to online dating because they are applicable:

  1. Men and women as a whole are fatter now than 20 years ago. Applying this to online dating means that the category of “Average” today isn’t what “Average” of yesterday was. Average from 20 years ago meant that you were neither thin or fat. You were just, average. Kind of like Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Not too hot, not too cold, but just right. Average from yesterday doesn’t exist today, not anymore. Average today means you are fat. You may not be obese or morbidly obese, but you are fat. Think 20 pounds plus. There literally wasn’t any women that were like 5 pounds overweight. They were either thin (which I’ll get to next) or they were 20+ overweight.
  2. Thin women still exist. Most of the guys were thinner and in better shape than the women as well, compared to 20 years ago. Thank god for thin women since this happens to be my personal preference. There were plenty of skinny girls there, plenty of “eye candy” for me to see. I’ve seen plenty of women that would describe themselves as thin in online dating as well, they just aren’t the majority anymore.
  3. Athletic as a type definitely exists. I would consider it a “sub-category” to thin. The only major difference to me at least, is that athletic women tend to have more muscle definition and tend to be more toned. Otherwise they are thin, hence the “sub-category” classification.
  4. Lots and lots of tattoos on everybody for the most part. I have a lot of tattoos but the younger crowd is either giving me a run for my money or they have me beat hands down. Nothing wrong with this per se, just an observation. The women and the men who had no visible tattoos tended to stand out, that’s how many people have tattoos in the bar today.

I made a tweet a few days ago that has summed up my experience when it comes to online dating and “body types” or “body descriptions:”

Average = Fat

A Few Extra Pounds = Fat

Curvy = Really Fat

BBW = Really Fat with an extra dose of attitude

Thin = Thin (but only if there is a fully body shot, otherwise = Fat)

Athletic (see Thin)

This may be hilarious to some degree, but it’s true unfortunately. I’ve encountered far too many women who say they are “average” when it comes to their body type and I have to admit that it’s my fault for not actually seeing them that way. That’s because I was holding on to what “average” was 20 years ago. Average today is overweight. Curvy used to be what Madonna was back when she did “Lucky Star.” Think hourglass. Curvy today is obese. A few extra pounds 20 years ago, was a tiny bit of a tummy. A few extra pounds today is 20 pounds overweight. Not obese and definitely not morbidly obese, but definitely pushing into obese territory.

The one that I have the most conflict with today is Athletic. Athletic to me and probably to most guys is a person who has low body fat and has muscle definition and tone. I’ve seen women who say they are “athletic” and sure they are in a selfie pic at some gym somewhere, wearing a yoga top and yoga pants, but they are far from having an athletic body. A muffin top body isn’t athletic. Nor should counting that one time you went hiking over a year ago count as athletic. That’s why I say, full body shots in the pictures or they are fat.

I’m not saying any of this as a condemnation of women being overweight. I’ve dated plenty of women over the years who genuinely were “a few extra pounds.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But “a few extra pounds” was just that. 5 or 10 extra pounds at the most.

If we are going to keep the body types “honest” with today’s standards and averages, there should be only 2 choices with one possible sub-category:

Thin or fat. There’s no need to have an “average” category anymore since “average” as it once was doesn’t exist. The sub-category would be “athletic” and that would only be applicable if you were actually “thin” first.

There’s no need for a “curvy,” “a few extra pounds,” or “BBW” anymore, since it’s all basically just one degree of fat or another. Actually, I’ll take that back. There should still be a BBW category. That’s because most of the women that I have encountered that identify as “BBW” also tend to be the most entitled and have the most bitter of attitudes. At least the bigger girls who didn’t consider themselves to be BBW had more pleasant demeanors and personalities.

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