Tag: night game

No More Swipe Apps For Me

Rob Says1 Comment

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If you don’t follow me on Twitter (@RobSays__) you missed out on something I did the other day. I uninstalled all of my “swipe/dating” apps and I deleted all of my profiles on all of the different dating sites that I had belonged to.

Why did I do this, considering I’ve had some measure of success with women on these various apps? I did it because of two main reasons:

  1. Online dating is slow and tedious. You have to “like” or “match” with someone most of the time in order to communicate with them. They don’t “like” or “match” with you? No conversation can be had. On top of that, having the same conversations over and over gets tedious. You text back and forth a few times, saying a lot of the same things that you said to 5 or 10 other women. They give back similar answers, rinse and repeat. Or, they don’t answer you at all, which happens more often than not. I would rather go out in the real world and get immediate feedback from a woman. At least that way, if she isn’t interested, I know right then and there and I can move on to another woman. Or if she is interested, we can escalate the encounter and see where it goes.
  2. The quality of women online tends to be “lower” than what I really want. The type of women that I seek are usually not found on swipe and dating apps. They don’t need to be there. They get approached enough in real life. So if I want what I want, I had better go where they are, and online dating isn’t usually it.

Deleting these apps has freed up a lot of time for me. I didn’t realize just how much time I was sinking into getting minimal results. I could spend hours looking at different pics and profiles, crafting conversations, etc, and the whole day could get past me. Now I’m able to do more of the things that I actually want to do instead of swiping pics and sometimes having conversations that more often than not, end up going nowhere.

Here’s a hard truth for you to swallow: Dating (pick up, hooking up, whatever you want to call it) in any form is mostly a numbers game. It will definitely help you to have Game, be in decent shape, wear decent clothing, and having some money never hurt anything, but at the end of the day, it’s a grind. You’re going to get told “no” way more often than you are going to get told “yes.” That’s just the facts. It can wear you out in the wallet if you are not careful, and it will definitely hammer your ego and your self-esteem. That’s why I don’t think that there are a lot of guys out there that pick up women for years on end. It can really mess with your head when you are in a “slump” and the chicks just aren’t digging you.

So it’s back to meeting women full time in real life.

That being said, I went out the other night to a local bar/club. It’s a bar that I’ve been to many times in the recent past, but this night was a little different from the other times that I went.

That night I felt totally alone. Lonely even. I felt like I was invisible and didn’t exist. I know it was all “in my head,” and that the feeling is and was, a temporary one. Today as I’m writing this, I feel great. I feel fine. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I’m in a good place today.

I think I need to change up the locations that I visit. I need more than just the one or two that I go to. I realize that I like variety, and I may have better results at a different venue than the one’s that I have frequented recently. I enjoy the music and the band at one of these locations, but even their set list is getting a bit stale. Also, I’m beginning to see a lot of the same faces there. Faces that I’m not necessarily interested in, nor are they interested in me. Time to move on. Fish in another pond.

In other news, since I’ve had quite a bit of time freed up to do other things, I’ve created a bunch of videos on my YouTube channel that I call “Two Minutes.” I take whatever idea or thought that comes to mind and I spend roughly two minutes on it. That way my subscribers get something to mull over and then they get to get on with their day. I’ll still be doing all of my live streams that I belong to, and I’ll still be putting out my more “long form” videos as well, but I decided to add something to my channel for shits and giggles. Check them out, tell me what you think.

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Roll With It

Rob Says2 Comments

people in concert

Mr. Skelton Elton and I went out again on Saturday night. We hit a couple of different bar/clubs, had a few drinks, and had a great time.

One area that I’m really “rusty” in is my night game. I haven’t gone clubbing in years, and even going to the occasional bar in the past, I’ve always had women with me, or it was a night with the guys, and there were few to no women around. Getting back out there with Skelton is good for him and for me as well. If you want to pick up women, it’s better in my opinion, to be able to meet them in all sorts of environments. Sure, it’s best when you can find a niche of your own to fish in, it will get you the best results overall, but it’s good to be able to move in any environment.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is to be open to pretty much anything happening at any time. I’ve learned to just “roll with it.”

Just “rolling with it” is when you’re out on the dance floor, moving to the music, and a woman slides up next to you, and starts to dance. Slide in to her, put your arms around her, and pull her in. Go all in. It’s a yes until it’s a no, that’s one that Vincent mentioned to me when I first met him and it’s a good mentality to have. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

When I first met my ex-wife years ago, she knew a little about my past. I guess it preceded me. She called the women that I had met, my “strange women.” These were the women that I met at bars and clubs, and also on the street. These were the women that I took home rapidly. You can think and say what you want about these women, that they were “low hanging fruit,” or that they were “easy,” or whatever you want. Maybe they were, but I don’t think they were. They were just women. They were women doing what women do. They were out looking for an adventure, looking to have fun and have a good time, and I was the guy willing to give them that adventure and that good time. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had to be flexible and adaptable and open to whatever would show up though. Whether I would only mingle with those women for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or even 5 years, it didn’t matter to me. It was just living in that moment, being in the present, and being open to whatever without having a whole lot of expectations.

Guys,

It’s a yes until it’s a no.

Be open to whatever shows up.

Be open to the idea that whatever does show up for you, that it’s normal. And not only that it’s normal, but it’s basically “business as usual.” It happens all the time. It’s just another day in your amazing life.

When whatever shows up in your life is normal and business as usual, and it’s a yes until it’s a no, you lead from there. Taking her hand and leading her where you want to go, whether it’s on the dance floor, or it’s taking her back to your home, that’s normal and it’s business as usual. Just roll with it.

“Dirty dancing” with a woman and you don’t even know her name? That’s normal. Kissing her on the same dance floor after only dancing with her for a short time? That’s normal. Taking her somewhere else and ultimately ending up in bed with her that same night? That’s normal. It’s a yes until it’s a no. It’s business as usual. It’s no big deal. It’s just another day in your life. Just roll with it. Don’t overthink it. Just roll with it. All of it is normal. All of it is expected, it’s just who you are and what you do.

And if it goes to a no? That’s no big deal either. It happens. No need to overthink that one either. No need to beat yourself up. Just roll with that too. Make a mental note about it, and then move on. Next woman, next dance, next place. Same amazing life though. She decided that it’s a no for whatever reason? Roll with it. It’s a no from her, but there’s another woman right behind her that it’s a yes until it’s a no. Keep at it and keep rolling.

Whatever you believe is normal in your life is what you will see and what you will get. It’s what you will be open to. If you think women are strange, mystical unicorns that are unfathomable, and therefore unapproachable, that’s what you will see and what you will get. If you think that they are lusty, goofy, funny, insecure creatures that are just as confused and worried about themselves as you are about you, that’s what you will get. My question to you is: which one is more approachable? The mystical and the unknown one? Or the lusty, goofy, confused one? Which one do you think you would be able to relate to?

As a related aside, someone sent me a link which goes far more indepth as to what I’m speaking about here, and it gives some actual steps to getting through it and over it.

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