3 Days To The Village By The Lake

white house near sea and mountains

3 days and counting.

I’m looking forward to seeing my Brothers, Vince and TJ. I’m looking foward to the meet up that we are having on Saturday the 26th when we will be meeting some fellow Men and having some food, some drinks, and maybe even a couple of cigars with these guys. It’s going to be a good time.

In other news, I was serious when I said that I was going to limit my activity and my time on Twitter and I meant it. It’s been nice being off of Twitter. I have more time to pursue other projects and my stress levels and my blood pressure has dropped quite a bit.

It’s a good thing I’ve taken time away from Twitter, learning my new MIDI controller so that I can start creating music has been a challenge to say the least. The device itself isn’t too hard to figure out, it’s 8 pads, 8 knobs, a joystick, and 25 keys of a keyboard with other assorted buttons that do different things. Pressing keys, turning knobs, and tapping pads isn’t too difficult.

The difficult part is getting the DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) that I use to interface and recognize the MIDI controller. I was hoping for something that would be a “drag and drop” type of interface where I could just throw “kits” and samples into the DAW and then assign them to the MIDI controller, and then I could just start to play and record.

That’s not what has happened so far. So far, I need to tell the DAW about each and every button, pad, and knob. Thank god I don’t need to do much of that for the keys. That part seems to be fairly straight forward. It’s been a challeng to say the least, and it has taken a lot of time to get things sorted out and working. I still haven’t got it all figured out at the time that I’m writing this. One thing I know though is, once I have everything sorted out and set, I’m saving the profiles so that I can use them without issue.

I’ve also been recording some “B-Roll” video footage to use in upcoming videos. I broke down and bought a decent stand for my phone so now I can set the phone up and use it to record different scenes and footage and not worry that it is going to fall or shake or any other sort of nonsense. Stay tuned to my YouTube channel for future videos to see some of this new and somewhat interesting video footage.

I also broke down and bought a couple of video games. One of them is called “Among Us” and is something that you play online. I’ve played it enough so far to understand the general movement and mechanics of it, now I’m excited to play with some other guys from the ‘Sphere and see where it goes.

It’ll be a good way to get some additional video footage for future projects at least.

I also bought an Atari 2600 “package” that has 100 video games on it. Some of them are the actual arcade versions from back in the day, and many others are from the Atari 2600 console days. I’ve been playing Asteroids from the old console days. Talk about absolutely shitty graphics compared to games today, but man, were they fun and simple to play. No weird button combos to do special moves, no extra controllers or levers to push or manipulate to execute different actions. It’s literally up, down, left, right, and shoot.

Those are the games that I played the most when I was young and it’s what I remember the most fondly even though I had the original Nintendo, the Atari Jaguar, the Playstation, the Playstation 2, and the Wii. Not that I didn’t enjoy the games that I had on each of those particular consoles, but it was the old Atari 2600 that I played the most and had the most games for.

I’m still wondering what the State of Utah is going to do over the next few days because we have had a spike in ‘Rona cases. Apparently we have had more cases in the last few days than we did when the bug first hit Utah and peaked out in July. I know most of these new cases are because the schools are back in session, both the elementary levels as well as the college levels, and that’s where the spike in cases are coming from.

It’ll be interesting to see if Utah is going to shut the schools down again and make the “kids” do everything remotely, or if they are going to suck it up and keep going. I’m hoping for the latter. What we don’t need is another “lockdown,” though. The mandatory mask mandate is still in effect, and is supposed to go on until the end of the year from what I’ve heard, and that’s bad enough.

A lot of other people are getting sick of it as well from what I’ve been seeing and many of them are not wearing masks when they are going about their day. When I think about it and remind myself, I tell those people “thanks for not wearing a mask,” and I mean it sincerely.

I’m sure I could get a lot of grief for this view, but I don’t care. Life goes on and I want to get on with my life, and not under this “new normal” bullshit that a lot of people are calling it.

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Digital Dark Gods and Babylon

Babylon A.D.

Just got back today to the city of sin.
They say the apple and the snake is how it all began…

And now I’m back, in Babylon…

Those are lyrics from the song, “Back in Babylon” from the band, Babylon A.D. Check them out sometime if and when you get a chance, you won’t regret it.

I was going to write this post over a year ago, but other projects, people, things, situations, and life itself got in the way. Lots and Lots of distractions and things to do.

Today is September 14th as I am writing this. This post will be published on Wednesday the 16th, that’s when you, Gentle Reader, will be seeing it for the first time. Thursday September 17th will mark the second year anniversary of my Mother’s death.

Two years already. Two years.

In some ways, it feels almost like she died yesterday. In some ways it feels like she died a long, long time ago. I can still see her face in my mind’s eye without having to look at pictures and I can still hear her voice if I so call on it.

If and when the day comes that I can no longer recall her voice, I have a couple of voice mails that she left me several months before she died. I can always listen to those if and when I want to. Right now, almost two years later, I’m still good not listening to them.

I haven’t been to her grave in almost two years either. I was there the day we put her in the ground, but I haven’t been back. Part of me thinks I’m avoiding it. But why? All that is there is a headstone and grass. Underneath that is her casket and inside is her body. Her “soul” isn’t there. Her “essence” isn’t there. If I want to “feel her presence” so to speak, all I need to do is go and visit my Dad. Bits and pieces of what she did in life are still in that house. There are some toiletries and whatnot that she purchased that are still there. Hell, some of her personal belongings are still there. None of that stuff is at her grave.

So I don’t go. And honestly, I don’t know if I ever will go except for when my Dad dies. His plot was purchased years and years ago, and it resides right next to hers. That may be the next time that I see her grave. And after that? Like the wind, I’ll be gone. Gone from Utah. Gone from the life that I have known and into a new life somewhere else. Somewhere warmer than here. I’m tired of the snow and I’m tired of the cold. A warmer climate where I can ride my motorcycle year round would be ideal. But not so hot that I’m cooking at night. Probably Texas.

I’m not running from my life and I know that wherever I go, there I am. You can’t run from yourself. Wherever you run to, you’ll still have to deal with you because there you are. I knew a few guys when I was much younger who ran from things in their home and their lives, and yet they could never run far enough or fast enough from themselves. Nowhere was good enough because there they were. Some of them kept running and are still running to this day as far as I know.

That’s not me. I’m not running from anything. I’m good with my life and my life choices. I’m good with staying here in Utah for the time being, I’m in no hurry to leave. At the same time, once my Dad dies, there’s nothing keeping me here. I’m not close to any of my extended family. I can always transfer my job from here to wherever I want to go for the most part, and if I can’t transfer, I can always find another job.

As far as women are concerned, if I have someone serious in my life at that time, she’ll either come along for the ride, or she won’t. If she does, great! If not, that’s too bad, but I’ll find another one, or several other ones, wherever I end up.

Let’s move along.

I mentioned that I’m taking up music again. I’m excited for this. I’m excited that I’ll be creating things that I haven’t created in a long time. I’m nervous at the same time. I don’t know how to explain it, but there it is. I’m nervous too. I’m sure it’s my inner perfectionist yapping about being perfect and being able to just “master this shit” right off the bat. That’s not how it works though. Just like writing or making videos, or standing in front of an audience, I don’t think you ever truly “master” it. You might become so good at it and so comfortable with it that other people will call you a “master,” but in your own head, it’s never quite there. You’re always striving to achieve more and to “do better” than the last article, the last video, or the last performance that you gave.

Since I’m taking up music again, something has got to give. I don’t have enough time in the day to do everything that I’m doing. So what is going to get the axe?

Not dating. I like women too much. Not motorcycle riding. I like that too much too, plus it’s therapeutic in ways that non-motorcycle people will never know. Not shooting guns. Got to keep my skills up for the upcoming apocalypse. Not doing my videos or liveststreams. Those are too much fun too. I still need to work and I need to eat and sleep. I’m barely getting enough sleep as it is, so I’m not giving up more of that. And I’m definitely not giving up writing. It’s another creative outlet for me to focus and channel some of my energy to. This blog isn’t done until I say it is done, and I’m not done here by a long shot. I’m going to keep it “non-fiction” as it were, and I’ll focus my fictional creativity over at Punchriot. You should go there and subscribe if you want to see my fiction as well as many other amazing writers. The only thing that I hope when it comes to my fiction is that I don’t disappoint my editor, Nick August, and that I don’t disappoint the people who read my work.

So I’m not going to give up all those things. What am I going to give up then?


Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still keep my account active and up, but I’m going to limit my presence there. Twitter has become too much of a waste of time for me. A couple of interactions recently showed me this. I’ll still be there to use that platform to promote this blog, my YouTube channel, my audio channel, and I’ll still be there to interact with people in my DM’s, but other than that, I’m going to limit my time and interactions there severely. I want to have time to focus on my music and video creations. I don’t need to be spending my time on Twitter arguing with idiots.

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I Was Born In The Wrong Decade


amplifier analogue audio board

1987. That was the year that I first started learning how to play guitar. I remember borrowing my uncle’s cheap acoustic that would never stay in tune for long, because it had a warped neck. I graduated from that to my first electric guitar about a year later. I can’t even remember the name of that guitar now.

It was some sort of Fender knock off though and between the guitar, the amplifier, the handful of guitar picks, the case, and the cord from guitar to amp, I think I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $250 to $300 dollars total. It wasn’t a great sounding guitar, but compared to the crappy acoustic that I had been playing for the last year, it was a dream.

Fast-forward to 1989. My father had heard me playing this knock-off guitar and he knew that I wanted something “bigger and better.” I was listening to a ton of heavy metal because that was the music that I grew up with and that was what was popular at the time. Guys like Blackie Lawless from Wasp, Paul Stanley from Kiss, and of course, Metallica, were the guys that I idolized. I wanted something like what they played. I had my sights fixed on a B.C. Rich Warlock. Not one of the knock-off ones either, but an actual genuine B.C. Rich.

1989 was that year. My father took me to a local music shop and he bought me that B.C. Rich Warlock, and a Peavey amplifier to go with it.

My Guitar

It played like a dream and it sounded so much better than that cheap Fender knock-off. Now I could really play music, now I could really get the sound that I was looking for.

Why did I play music? Because I loved and still love music. And to get the girls of course. Chicks dig musicians and music.

Back in the late 80’s and early to mid-90’s, when it came to recording music, everything was analog, which meant you recorded everything on tape. Whether reel-to-reel, or on a cassette tape, everything was done physically. I always wanted to get a track recorder, a 4-track specifically, and convert one of the rooms in my parent’s house into a studio. Making minimum wage back then, at $3.35 an hour made a $400 dollar 4-track recorder pretty much prohibitive. Never mind a mixing board and/or a larger track recorder.

The track recorder was a dream and life went on. College came and went and the guitar ended up in storage. Dreams and priorities change as life goes on.

2020. I haven’t picked up that B.C. Rich guitar in many years, and I honestly don’t know if I’m going to pick it up again or not. But I still desire to make music, it still runs in my veins. Nowadays you can buy a drum machine MIDI controller for $150 dollars. Ask me how I know. You can also purchase software that is literally a complete studio, that you can run on your laptop for $60 bucks. Again, ask me how I know.

What would have cost me thousands of dollars and dedicated an entire room of my house now costs about $250 after tax. I’m blown away. If only I had this technology when I was 18 and had a band. I could have made an album or two or ten.

But I still can.

While I may have “been born in the wrong decade,” I realize that I really haven’t. Now is the time. I may have a learning curve to go through again, it may take me some time, but I am going to create music once again. I’m going to make songs, whether short, sweet, and silly, or some sort of deep, dark, epic poetry of sound. I’m going to create music once again. I have to. I don’t have a choice in this matter, not really. I’ll drive myself insane if I don’t do this.

Now it’s not so much about getting chicks as it is about the creation of the music itself. As I’ve said in the past, and to anyone that cares to listen to me in person, my whole life is a soundtrack. Whatever events happen, there’s a song or two to accompany it. More often than not, those songs are songs that someone else created. Every now and then though, it’s a song that has never seen the light of day. Every now and then it’s a song that resides only in my head and it is screaming to be let out into the world.

It’s time to do that. Who knows? Maybe there’s an album or two or ten in there somewhere.

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