Tag: men and women

Observations

Rob SaysLeave a comment

sea sunset beach couple

In addition to writing my blog posts, shit-posting on Twitter, making my videos on Youtube, doing shows with Masculine Geek and Jack Napier, working a full time job, and hanging out on Saturdays with Mr. Skelton, I’ve also been seeing 3 or 4 different women. I don’t know where I get the time in all honesty. Maybe I’m burning the candle at both ends. I probably am, but fuck it, you only live once, so you might as well make the most of it.

One of the things that has showed up with all of the women that I’ve been seeing is this:

They all think I’m amazing. Now this isn’t meant to sound like a humble-brag, that’s not my intention. It’s just an observation I’ve had from all of the women. Now just a little backstory on these women:

I’ve met all of them online, and they are all fairly close to my age. They range from 40 to 43. Two of them are divorced, single mothers, and two of them don’t have children for one reason or another.

I can hear the screams and the shouts of outrage from the peanut gallery now, “Rob! You don’t give single mothers the time of day! You don’t have anything to do with them!” And so on and so forth. Guys, I’m not “wifeing” any of them up, nor am I getting into LTR’s with any of them either. Give it a rest, I know what I’m doing. Maybe this is one of those “Let ’em burn” moments for me. I’ve said multiple times on Twitter, “I’m the posterboy of what NOT to do,” so keep that in mind.

What I’ve found is that they are fun to be around, they are about as well adjusted as any woman can be, and man, are they lusty.

I’m starting to get sidetracked here, so let’s get back on target.

Where was I? Oh yes, the whole “I’m amazing” bit. The funny thing is, I’m not going out of my way to do anything special or unique. I’m not “pulling out all the stops” or anything like that. I’m just doing me.

I take them by the hand and lead them where I want to go. I don’t ask them permission to hold their hands, I don’t ask permission to kiss them, I put my arm around their waist when I’ve escorted them through the occasional door, and I’ve been the one to decide where we are going if we are going out for the most part. Once we figure out the day that we want to get together, I start throwing times at them that I’ll meet up with them, that work for me. Then it’s just a matter of deciding what time works best.

It has been blowing these women away, and honestly, I don’t really understand it. Aren’t all guys “like that?” Apparently not. Now granted, maybe these women made a whole bunch of poor choices when it comes to dating and in some cases, marrying the men that they chose. I’m not going to eliminate that possibility. I’m sure that factors in somewhere to some degree.

But fucking really? Are guys that inept? Is the bar really that low? Are women’s expectations so few? Is it really that shitty out there in the dating world? Understand this: I’m literally nobody. I’m a short, bald dude who is maybe average in looks. Same with my dress. Nothing too fancy or too flashy, but at least my clothing fits and it isn’t loose-ass t-shirts, cargo shorts, and flip flops. I’m not fat, but I’m not “buff” either. I’m truly just “average.”

I would almost think that I met these women from the same neighborhood, or even the same family. Their experiences with the men in their pasts seem that abyssmal and almost identical. The thing is, they aren’t from the same family or neighborhood, and one of them is from another country. If I can do something as simple as hold their hand without asking, or lead them to where I want to sit, eat, or go, and they are blown away by it, guys, you have no excuse to not get out there if you are single and start absolutely killing it.

So what are you waiting for?

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There Is No Spoon

Rob Says2 Comments

stainless steel spoon

Guys, I’m going to say something that might be considered anathema and controversial, but here goes.

There is no gender war. The only gender war that I’m seeing is on social media and in various media outlets. If all you do is consume what’s on the internet and on the television, of course there’s a gender war. When I go out at night, when I’m out and about doing my job, when I’m out grocery shopping or running errands, I don’t see a gender war anywhere around me.

I went out the other night to a couple different nightspots. I saw a handful of dudes and a bunch of women at one, and I saw about a 50-50 ratio of men to women at the other location. No gender war in sight. All I saw was a bunch of people having a good time dancing and drinking and mingling with one another. No toxic masculinity, no SJW’s on parade bitching about being oppressed. Just men and women enjoying their evenings with one another.

Does the gender war actually exist? I’m sure it does. At least in theory or on paper. It’s psychological warfare meant to divide and conquer. If you are getting sucked into it, guess what? You are the target at that point. Whoever is putting out this message is trying to divide you from other’s. Recognize it for what it is. It’s Wag The Dog writ large and in real time. Can you actually do something about it? Can you change it? Is it actually useful to you?

As Rian Stone put it, “Be Attractive, Don’t Be Unattractive.” How is getting fired up about a gender war attractive? Is getting fired up about “toxic masculinity” attractive? Is getting pissed off about some hit piece on some obscure website, written by some unattractive, outraged woman attractive, or unattractive? Is it useful to you? Besides the dopamine hit and being able to simmer in your own juices, does it do anything for you?

I’m all for a man or a woman being able to feed off their own emotions, god knows, I’ve done a lot of that over the years, but is it attractive or unattractive? Does it get you to do something useful for you? Or is it a form of masturbation and release? Are you becoming more attractive, or just jerking off?

I keep looking for the gender war around me and I keep missing it I guess. I’m not finding it. I see a lot of confused people trying to figure themselves and each other out and how they fit together in our world, but that’s been going on since I can remember. Not much has changed there.

I actually feel sorry for women today. Most of the garbage that is out there, claiming there is a gender war going on, was written by women for women. They are poisoning their own well, and then drinking it to boot. The women who stumble across it are stopping and having a big old drink of it and fucking themselves up even more than before. God help them. Oh well, I’ve said it before, and here it is again, they have to burn.

I think we as Men are too much in our heads most of the time. We overthink things and make them way more complicated than they need to be.

“This woman slid up to me and is grinding on me…What do I do? What do I say? I need to play it cool. I need to be calm and think straight. What if I put my arms around her and pull her in? What if she doesn’t like that? What if she doesn’t want that? Oh god, I don’t want her to think…Wait…She’s leaving! Dammit! I should have….”

Get out of your heads my Brothers. Get out of your heads and back into your bodies. Don’t think, just act. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

There’s no gender war. At least not in the streets that I occupy. Not in the space that I inhabit. Just men and women doing their thing.  I guess that none of them got the memo that there is a gender war going on. And man, those women? They are friendly as hell and looking for a little company, even if it’s only for a few moments.

Drop a few kind words. Crack a joke. Tease her just a little bit. Smile at her. That’s attractive. Or stay locked in your gender war, getting pissed off over imaginary boogeymen that you can’t do anything about anyways. The choice as always, is yours. You get to burn. Don’t worry though, I’ll be watching, eating popcorn, and laughing my ass off. And once you put that fire out, I’ll ask you just one question:

“How’s that working out for ya, bud?”

There is no spoon. There is no gender war. There is just being attractive or being unattractive. Choose.

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Observations From A Saturday Night

Rob SaysLeave a comment

photo of glass overflowing with beer

It’s Labor Day again. By the time you guys read this, it will be past Labor Day, but yeah I’m writing this then.

I did what I didn’t think was possible. I’m actually burned out on drinking. I’m writing this sober and even the idea of having a beer just doesn’t sound good right now. I’m not hung over, I’m just….Done. At least for today, maybe longer, who knows? We’ll see.

It all started Friday afternoon and continued well into the wee hours of Monday morning. So that’s what, two and a half days of constant consumption of alcohol? 2 and a half days of being in some sort of buzzed state, if not straight up drunk? Yeah something like that. I think a few of my guys would be proud. (Carl and BullRush come to mind.) Or maybe they would be a little nervous. (Jesus, do we really want to go out drinking with Rob? The guy might actually put us in the grave.) Be afraid Jack, be very afraid.

Not bad for a short, skinny guy.

Skinny. That’s a funny word to me. It’s funny to me because I’ve never been able to see myself as skinny. I’ve always been the overweight guy. Even now when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t necessarily see myself as thin. There’s residual “love handles” that are still there. And yet when I touch them, I realize that the protrusion I’m seeing and feeling is more hip bone than anything.

I’ve had people online on Twitter call me skinny or thin and it makes me pause. Again, because that’s not how I see myself. But these people have never seen the younger, fatter version of me, they never grew up with that. All they know about me is what they see now and I guess they see a skinny guy. A “bundle of stix.” I take that comment as a compliment. I’m okay with that. In today’s world of obesity, it’s been my personal experience that it is better to be a bundle of sticks than to be fat. Especially if you are a Man.

Which brings me to the next observation:

On Saturday afternoon and well into the night, I got the pleasure of meeting up with a fellow Man by the name of Elton Skelton. He’s a great guy. He’s recently “unplugged” and is figuring out what he wants out of his life and is truly starting to live his life on his own terms. I couldn’t be happier for him.

Mr Skelton and I went out Saturday night to a local club here in Salt Lake and listened to the house band, which was phenomenal by the way, had a few drinks, and had a great time. It’s been over 15 years since I’ve been in a “club.” Oh I’ve been to many bars since those 15 years ago, but not a club. Clubs to me are usually too loud, too chaotic, and now that I’m getting older, I could be easily seen as the “creepy old dude at the club.”

One thing I’ve learned about women is that they are conformists and herd animals. They typically travel in packs, and whatever the group does or believes, the individual tends to tow the party line. What that means to me is, I know there are young women that would be totally into an older guy like me, but because the group as a whole may frown on “the old guy,” she will go along with her peers and not be open to being approached by said “old guy.” I’ve come to realize that while I’m sure I could take a much younger woman to a club and we would be just fine and have a good time, trying to approach and meet a much younger woman at the club is going to be very difficult to say the least.

I want to approach and “pick up” women with ease. I don’t need to summit mountains to get the phone number. I think that’s an ego thing for the guys who do that, and that’s okay for them, you do you. I’m more concerned about my success with approaching than I am about the degree of difficulty. In fact, the less difficulty, the better. Maybe that makes me lazy in some people’s eyes, but I don’t really care. That degree of difficulty or the lack of it may be all the difference between you getting blown out of the water, and me going home with someone that I can enjoy. I’m rambling, let’s move on…

Another observation that showed up for me while I was at the club with Mr Skelton was that he, myself, and one other guy were the best dressed guys in there. 3 guys. That was it. The rest of the guys were seriously doing the ill fitting t-shirts and cargo shorts thing. Clones of each other. It was really sad and a bit pathetic.

Also, I found myself, at least for a little bit, going into “security mode.” I used to do armed security for a couple of bars back in the day and I guess that training and mentality dies hard. I was finding myself scanning the room, looking for any threats. Looking for the big, aggressive drunk dudes who may decide to pop off and throw down. Looking for anything that could show up for me as something to avoid or to keep an eye on. There was none of that on Saturday night. Not a single one. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want there to be trouble, I don’t want to avoid people in order to avoid ending up in a fight, but there was none of that there.

The guys that were there were all so “soft.” Soft in their bodies and in their actions, which tells me, they are soft in their minds. Not an assertive one among them. Not one “predator.” Just soft, lost doughboys. Pillows wearing ratty oversized t-shirts and cargo shorts.

Guys, that’s your competition. That’s what’s out there. I don’t know if the bar could fall any lower. I found it really sad that here I am, 47 years old, and I’m in better shape than 99% of the club, and I’m not even trying. I’m no paragon of healthy eating and living. I’m in better shape than all the guys that were in their early to mid twenties. It still blows my mind when I think about it.

Guys, you don’t have to work hard to be in the “upper tiers” today. Just do a little work. Seriously.

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