Tag: leading

State Of Men Today With An Update

Rob Says6 Comments

silhouette of man during nighttime

A while back, I wrote about some observations that I had made about Men today, and apparently I’m not the only Man to notice other Men having this same lost look of confusion. While I was at a loss to this “What the fuck? How did I get here?” state, one of my new follows, MJ, has broken it down into how Men have got here and what they can do about it.

The truth is you got there slowly as she broke you down….Somewhere along the way you went from that carefree guy having a good time to being her pack mule.  Carrying the load.  Likely not getting laid like it said in the shiny LTR brochure you were shown.

Ain’t that the fucking truth. It’s the Death by 1000 Concessions.

I’m going to tell you how to avoid that empty look.  First, choose wisely when selecting a LTR mate….

The most important way to avoid this hell is to be upfront about what you bring to the table, and what you expect…

Show her you are willing to face her fury.  Hold strong in the whirlwind she stirs thinking it will result in you backing down when she demands something. (Bold and emphasis is mine.)

MJ goes on in his article, which is a fantastic read. You should go check it out. Like immediately. The Man has been married for quite some time and because of that, he’s more of an “authority” on this particular subject matter than me.

MJ got me to do some introspection, and when I think back to my marriage, I was that guy who had the “How the fuck did I get here” stare. I really was that guy. One of the ways that I got there was the Death of 1000 Concessions. I wouldn’t “face her fury” as MJ describes it. I would go along to get along in order to have some peace and quiet. I wanted tranquility. What it got me was “compromises.”

Compromises in the form of she, the ex-wife, wanting something, me not wanting whatever it was, a fight breaking out, or her nagging me until she wore me down, and her getting what she wanted. That’s what she called a compromise. She wanted a dog, I didn’t want a dog. We “compromised” and got a dog. She wanted a tablet, I didn’t think she needed a tablet (trust me, she didn’t need it.) We “compromised” and she got a tablet.

I’m not blaming her for any of this. This was totally on me. I didn’t necessarily create this particular “monster,” but I enabled it and endorsed it because I allowed it and wanted peace and harmony over conflict. And who wouldn’t want peace and harmony over conflict? Point is though, not all conflict is bad, and even when it is, you have to stand up and face it. Sometimes you do have to be the asshole and say no. Sometimes you do have to be the “bad guy.” Accept it and move on. Stand your ground on the things that matter. Learn to say no. Learn to stand against her fury and her outrage. Learn to deal with her behavior and more importantly, learn to accept less shitty behavior from her. Stop rewarding her bullshit. Put the kibosh on it or be willing to walk away.

 

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Labor Day

Rob SaysLeave a comment

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It’s that time of year again. Most, if not all of the summer vacations are over. The kids are back in school. While summer itself continues on for yet a little while longer, summer for most people is officially over.

It’s Labor Day.

Let’s not only make today about drinking beer, eating hot dogs, and basking in the hot summer sun, let’s take a really quick moment to think about Labor.

It’s Men that have created our society, our civilization. It’s the toil and sweat of Men that have made our dreams so far into reality.

It’s Man’s Labor that has given us our greatest innovations, our greatest technologies.

It’s Men that have advanced us to where we are as a people.

It’ll be Men that put us on Mars and other planets in our universe.

It’ll be Men that solve the mysteries of the depths of our oceans and of our planet itself.

Because that’s what Men do.

We Men are the idealists, the dreamers, the thinkers, the innovators, the romantics, and the problem solvers.

Labor Day to me is a celebration. It’s a celebration of what Men has created and will create in the future. It’s a celebration of where we have come from, where we are today, and where we will be tomorrow.

I give and say my thanks to my fellow Men of the past, the present, and the Men of the future. Here’s to many more to come.

The present is good and the future looks bright.

Cheers to you, my fellow Men.

As a side note:

If you find yourself in jail for doing something that got you there, realize that you’ll be there until tomorrow. The judge is off today celebrating too.

 

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5 More Unpleasant Truths – 6

Rob SaysLeave a comment

pexels-photo-277870.jpeg

  1. Ladies, I can’t necessarily speak for other men, but I love you. God knows I do. However… You really need to back off wanting to be in all the men’s spaces. You don’t need to be in all of them or even most of them. You have plenty of your own spaces, go play there. Leave the men be. This leads me to:
  2. Men, for the love of all that is holy, take your fucking spaces back! Stop inviting the women in, stop letting them in without a fight. Stop capitulating. Grow a set of balls, grow a spine, and learn to use the word: NO.
  3. Let’s talk about “equality” shall we? Ladies, when you have to sign up for selective service, when you decide to join the men collecting the garbage, climbing the power poles, digging the trenches, cleaning the sewers, roofing the houses, framing the houses, plowing the highways, digging in the mines, laying the cement, installing the power lines, chopping down the trees, slaughtering the animals for food, working on the oil rigs, building the buildings, transporting hazardous chemicals, refining the oil, etc., ad nauseum. I think you get the point. Then we can actually talk about “equality.” Until then, let’s suffice it to say that you’ve got it better. Read The Priviledged Sex and then get back to me.
  4. Guys, stop with the bragging. You sound like a blow-hard. No one but you buys your shit. When you brag, you are compensating. Keep that in mind. Think big truck, little dick. Your actions will speak far louder than words.
  5. Stop pandering to the women for the pussy. You ain’t gonna get it that way.

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