Tag: leadership

State Of Men Today With An Update

Rob Says6 Comments

silhouette of man during nighttime

A while back, I wrote about some observations that I had made about Men today, and apparently I’m not the only Man to notice other Men having this same lost look of confusion. While I was at a loss to this “What the fuck? How did I get here?” state, one of my new follows, MJ, has broken it down into how Men have got here and what they can do about it.

The truth is you got there slowly as she broke you down….Somewhere along the way you went from that carefree guy having a good time to being her pack mule.  Carrying the load.  Likely not getting laid like it said in the shiny LTR brochure you were shown.

Ain’t that the fucking truth. It’s the Death by 1000 Concessions.

I’m going to tell you how to avoid that empty look.  First, choose wisely when selecting a LTR mate….

The most important way to avoid this hell is to be upfront about what you bring to the table, and what you expect…

Show her you are willing to face her fury.  Hold strong in the whirlwind she stirs thinking it will result in you backing down when she demands something. (Bold and emphasis is mine.)

MJ goes on in his article, which is a fantastic read. You should go check it out. Like immediately. The Man has been married for quite some time and because of that, he’s more of an “authority” on this particular subject matter than me.

MJ got me to do some introspection, and when I think back to my marriage, I was that guy who had the “How the fuck did I get here” stare. I really was that guy. One of the ways that I got there was the Death of 1000 Concessions. I wouldn’t “face her fury” as MJ describes it. I would go along to get along in order to have some peace and quiet. I wanted tranquility. What it got me was “compromises.”

Compromises in the form of she, the ex-wife, wanting something, me not wanting whatever it was, a fight breaking out, or her nagging me until she wore me down, and her getting what she wanted. That’s what she called a compromise. She wanted a dog, I didn’t want a dog. We “compromised” and got a dog. She wanted a tablet, I didn’t think she needed a tablet (trust me, she didn’t need it.) We “compromised” and she got a tablet.

I’m not blaming her for any of this. This was totally on me. I didn’t necessarily create this particular “monster,” but I enabled it and endorsed it because I allowed it and wanted peace and harmony over conflict. And who wouldn’t want peace and harmony over conflict? Point is though, not all conflict is bad, and even when it is, you have to stand up and face it. Sometimes you do have to be the asshole and say no. Sometimes you do have to be the “bad guy.” Accept it and move on. Stand your ground on the things that matter. Learn to say no. Learn to stand against her fury and her outrage. Learn to deal with her behavior and more importantly, learn to accept less shitty behavior from her. Stop rewarding her bullshit. Put the kibosh on it or be willing to walk away.

 

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5 Pleasant Truths – 1

Rob SaysLeave a comment
backlit beach clouds dusk
Seek the Good, You’ll Find It

1. When you seek the good, you will find it.

2. A woman shouldn’t be the center of your life, but a great woman can help make your life fantastic.

3. Those screeching, harpy feminists? They are the minority. Most women out there are just as confused as we men are. Give them a break. Give them a chance.

4. While technology can be “bad” when overused, it can make life amazing. Look at how easy it is today, you can connect with amazing people across the world with a swipe, click, or a keystroke. How does it get better than that?

5. Helpers are everywhere. You just need to open your eyes to see them. Look around you. You’ll see.

 

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“Family Cloths”

Rob SaysLeave a comment

img_20180226_181617232702705631.jpg

Family Cloths. What are they? They are reusable toilet paper. Think of an old t-shirt that has been hacked up into squares, kinda like toilet paper and there you go. Good old reusable t-shirt toilet paper.

In my house, they are known affectionately as “Butt Wipes.”

Why do I have “Butt Wipes?” Well, you see, about 2 years ago, my girlfriend, she gets on these kicks where she wants to reduce her carbon footprint, get more “green,” and “do her part” to save the planet or something like that. These butt wipes are one of those moments that she had. Now, in her defense, it’s not actually a bad idea. They are much more softer than any of the best store bought TP. They definitely, ahem, clean you better. And what’s better than free? We’ve saved a small fortune from not having to buy any toilet paper in over two years.

What do butt wipes have to do with my journey through the Red Pill? I’m getting there. Trust me, I have a destination in mind, and yes, it’s tied to the Red Pill.

The other day, my girlfriend and I are lounging around the house. I’m doing my laundry for the next week at work. I stopped into the bathroom to take a piss and realized that the butt wipes were about out.

The following conversation ensued:

Me: “The butt wipes are running low, looks like it’s time to do a load in the laundry.”

Her: “Okay good to know.”

Me: “If we don’t do them soon, like tonight, you’ll be wiping your ass with your hand tomorrow.”

Cue hysterical laughter from her. I do that for her sometimes. Make her laugh hysterically. It’s one of my “things.”

So what do butt wipes and my journey through the Red Pill have in common?

Only just this:

Be Prepared.

Be prepared in whatever you are going to do. Have a plan. Decide where it is you’re going to eat. Decide what it is you are going to eat. Have a plan for when shit hits the fan. And it will eventually. Decide what you are going to wear tomorrow. Plan for leaving early for work when the weather turns to shit. Plan for an alternate way home when the freeway is stacked bumper to bumper because of some dip shits having an accident and snarling everyone else up.

Have a plan for if/when she leaves you.

Have a plan for your money. How are you going to save it? How are you going to spend it? What are you saving for? What are you spending it on? Do you really need anymore shit in your life? In your house? Be prepared to ask yourself these questions. Be prepared to answer them as well.

If you are a Man and are reading this, your’s is to LEAD. If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? If you don’t have a destination in mind, anywhere will do I guess. If you aren’t “driving the bus” of your life, someone else will be. Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere you didn’t want to go.

Stop sleepwalking through your life. Make some plans, be prepared. Be adaptable enough to change on a dime if need be when shit gets sideways and goes south. Have a plan and also learn to improvise when necessary.

Be prepared for when she shit tests you. And she will.

Know what it is that you want. What do you want from your job? Your family? Yourself?

Be prepared. Have a plan.

Be prepared or you might be wiping your ass with your hand tomorrow.

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