Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

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First off, I want to say that learning how to do day game, night game, or whatever you want to call it is better than doing online game, at least in general. With day and night game, you get immediate feedback from the girls you are approaching, you learn how to interact better socially, and ultimately you start to lose a lot of what is called approach anxiety.

I’m in agreement with the guys who say do day game or night game over online dating, learn that before dealing with the online dating world. You’ll get better results with the women that you are actually attracted to over enough time if you keep at it and are consistent.

That being said, I personally like to keep all of my options open. I don’t believe in a day game or night game only, model. The more opportunities that I can have, the better.

So here’s some things about online dating, some pro’s and con’s if you will, and ultimately why online dating works for me.

Like I said earlier, with day game or night game, you can approach a lot of women quick and get immediate feedback. No waiting around to see if they “match” or “like” you. Also there is no waiting around for feedback. Online dating takes time, much like fishing. But for me, that works.

I don’t mind baiting my lure, casting it out, and then settling in and waiting to see what happens.

First off: I’m lazy. I’ll admit it. I work 10 hour shifts 4 sometimes 5 days a week. I spend most of that time driving around, dealing with traffic, dealing with pedestrians, dealing with parking, and dealing with high temperatures in the summer and cold temperatures in the winter. I’m out in the elements most of my day. My job is physically taxing and by the time I get done with my day and I go home, the last thing I want to do, especially on the week days, is get cleaned up, jump back into my car, head back downtown to where all the action is, wander around and approach only to get shot down and then go home to go to bed so that I can get up and do it all again the next day.

At one point several years ago, I asked myself a question. I didn’t care how outlandish the answer seemed, I just wanted to get my creativity going and go from there. That question was: “When it comes to women, what do I want?”

My answer was: “I want them to come over to my house, have sex with me, and then go home.” That way, no matter what, I “won.” I “won” because they would either show up and we would have sex and then they would go home, or they wouldn’t show up because they flaked, or ghosted, or changed their minds. Either way, I was where I wanted to be: Home.

Enter online dating.

I can do it from my laptop or my phone. I don’t have to get dressed up and go somewhere to do it. I can do it from my bed before I go to sleep if I want to. I have my full time job, I have all my assorted shows, videos, audios, books, meals, housekeeping, and sleep to do. My days are pretty much full from the time I get up to the time that I go to bed. Having some spare time to literally “do nothing” is almost a foreign concept to me and I treasure it when it happens to come along.

Online dating takes longer, you’ll still get ghosted and flaked on, you have the added hassle of catfishing and spam bots, and the quality of the women has a ceiling. You won’t find hard 7’s or higher on online dating. That’s because they don’t need to use online dating because guys will approach them and hit on them at work, or at the bar, or at the grocery store, or wherever they happen to be.

You also have to realize that all women are wizards and that they will use makeup, filters, and bizarre and strange photo angles to hide what their bodies actually look like. Protip for the noobs: If all you see are head shots, she’s fat.

Since my life is pretty full and I happen to be lazy, at least when it comes to wanting to go out and “do shit,” online dating works for me. I can carpet bomb the women that I find attractive, shut down the app or the site, do whatever else it is that I need to do, and then go back and deal with any hits.

Remember my ultimate goal is to get them to come to my house, fuck me, and then go home. I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not looking for “a keeper.” I’m not looking to play house. I’m not Mr. Right, I’m Mr. Right Now. I’m a big fan of catch and release. I like sport fucking. I like slumber parties. And when it comes to attractiveness, I don’t care what strangers and assholes on the internet think. I don’t care what my Dad thinks. I don’t care what my real life friends think. All that matters to me is do I find her attractive. Does she pass the “boner test” for me? If yes, swipe right. If not, swipe left.

When I get a “match” my goal is then to get her off the app and get her on the phone. I do this by being funny and showing her that I have a sense of humor and that I’m a fun, mostly sane guy who isn’t going to murder her and bury her in a shallow grave. I’ll do 3 or 4 texts on the app and then go for the phone number.

Either I get the number and I’ll then drop the app and do everything by phone calls from that point forward, or she won’t give me the number and usually from there I move on to better prospects. My time is valuable and I don’t want to waste it. I’m still “winning” though, because I’m home.

All this whole time, my mindset, my goal, is to get her out of her house and get her into mine so that we can have sex and then she can go home. The hardest time is the first time. After that, if she and I are interested in a “round 2” it’s simply a matter of calling her up, getting her to come over, and then working out logistics.

It’s totally possible to get a woman whom you have never met and she has never met you, to show up to your house, fuck you, and then leave if that is what you want. Once you’ve done it once, you can do it again. Repetition for the win.

Have I ever had a woman show up to my house and I realize that I DON’T want to have sex with her? Yes, that happened once many years ago. Call it a learning lesson. So now once I get the phone number, I get her to either send more photos, which tend to be more revealing, or in today’s world, I can get her on something like Messenger where I can video chat with her and see what she looks like better.

Ultimately this has been a long and rambling way of saying, while online dating and swipe apps aren’t always the way to go, don’t eliminate your options. While online dating is far from ideal, it can work. Know the limitations of it. Know yourself and what it is that you want, and be realistic in your expectations. Know your own limitations. Know your strengths.

Know what you want and what are your goals and go from there.

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No More Swipe Apps For Me

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If you don’t follow me on Twitter (@RobSays__) you missed out on something I did the other day. I uninstalled all of my “swipe/dating” apps and I deleted all of my profiles on all of the different dating sites that I had belonged to.

Why did I do this, considering I’ve had some measure of success with women on these various apps? I did it because of two main reasons:

  1. Online dating is slow and tedious. You have to “like” or “match” with someone most of the time in order to communicate with them. They don’t “like” or “match” with you? No conversation can be had. On top of that, having the same conversations over and over gets tedious. You text back and forth a few times, saying a lot of the same things that you said to 5 or 10 other women. They give back similar answers, rinse and repeat. Or, they don’t answer you at all, which happens more often than not. I would rather go out in the real world and get immediate feedback from a woman. At least that way, if she isn’t interested, I know right then and there and I can move on to another woman. Or if she is interested, we can escalate the encounter and see where it goes.
  2. The quality of women online tends to be “lower” than what I really want. The type of women that I seek are usually not found on swipe and dating apps. They don’t need to be there. They get approached enough in real life. So if I want what I want, I had better go where they are, and online dating isn’t usually it.

Deleting these apps has freed up a lot of time for me. I didn’t realize just how much time I was sinking into getting minimal results. I could spend hours looking at different pics and profiles, crafting conversations, etc, and the whole day could get past me. Now I’m able to do more of the things that I actually want to do instead of swiping pics and sometimes having conversations that more often than not, end up going nowhere.

Here’s a hard truth for you to swallow: Dating (pick up, hooking up, whatever you want to call it) in any form is mostly a numbers game. It will definitely help you to have Game, be in decent shape, wear decent clothing, and having some money never hurt anything, but at the end of the day, it’s a grind. You’re going to get told “no” way more often than you are going to get told “yes.” That’s just the facts. It can wear you out in the wallet if you are not careful, and it will definitely hammer your ego and your self-esteem. That’s why I don’t think that there are a lot of guys out there that pick up women for years on end. It can really mess with your head when you are in a “slump” and the chicks just aren’t digging you.

So it’s back to meeting women full time in real life.

That being said, I went out the other night to a local bar/club. It’s a bar that I’ve been to many times in the recent past, but this night was a little different from the other times that I went.

That night I felt totally alone. Lonely even. I felt like I was invisible and didn’t exist. I know it was all “in my head,” and that the feeling is and was, a temporary one. Today as I’m writing this, I feel great. I feel fine. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I’m in a good place today.

I think I need to change up the locations that I visit. I need more than just the one or two that I go to. I realize that I like variety, and I may have better results at a different venue than the one’s that I have frequented recently. I enjoy the music and the band at one of these locations, but even their set list is getting a bit stale. Also, I’m beginning to see a lot of the same faces there. Faces that I’m not necessarily interested in, nor are they interested in me. Time to move on. Fish in another pond.

In other news, since I’ve had quite a bit of time freed up to do other things, I’ve created a bunch of videos on my YouTube channel that I call “Two Minutes.” I take whatever idea or thought that comes to mind and I spend roughly two minutes on it. That way my subscribers get something to mull over and then they get to get on with their day. I’ll still be doing all of my live streams that I belong to, and I’ll still be putting out my more “long form” videos as well, but I decided to add something to my channel for shits and giggles. Check them out, tell me what you think.

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