Tag: authentic

You Might Be Full Of Shit

Rob Says4 Comments

man with megaphone pointing

I had a brief but interesting conversation with a good friend of mine on Twitter recently. The actual conversation itself isn’t really what this post is about, so I’m not going to go into the details of that conversation, other than to say that the conversation was the catalyst for this post. So BullRush, if you are reading this, you sparked this. And thank you.

A lot of people do a lot of talking on the internet. Nothing new here, that’s been going on since the internet first became a thing. What’s really fun and interesting to me though is learning about what people want you to believe about them.

Some people are very short and to the point. Some people take long breaks from the internet, or at least social media, and some practically live on social media.

It’s that last group that interests me the most.

Guys on social media on a near 24/7 basis. Yes, I’m exaggerating a little bit, but not much. Guys constantly running their mouths about whatever the topic may be, and the fun thing is, the guy will inevitably make whatever the conversation is about him.

He may have started the conversation with a tweet, or he may have replied to someone else’s tweet, but he will inevitably try and make that conversation about him.

The places he’s been. The things that he has done. The people that he has met or that he knows (in real life too!)

There’s at least one term for this type of individual. It’s the Know-It-All. Whatever you have done, he’s done it many times and often better than you. You own a brand new car? He owns one too, only his is more expensive and has more bells and whistles.

You got with a woman? Dude, he bangs 9’s and 10’s on the regular.

You just got a raise at your job? Dude, he’s been making six figures since he was eighteen.

You got into a fight with your childhood best friend when you were 12? Dude, this guy has been shot, stabbed, mugged, hanged, and jumped more times than he can count. And this was all earlier this week.

Hold my beer, indeed.

Am I exaggerating a little bit? Of course. But the point is, there’s only so much time in the day. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all have to sleep, eat, shit, shower, fuck, and do whatever else it is that we do in that 24 hour time frame.

How can somebody get shot, stabbed, win a gold medal, get a huge pay raise, get the girls, buy 3 houses on 3 different continents, eat, tuck their children into bed at night and read them a bedtime story, and then make love to his wife before running off to “Save the West?”

He can’t.

It’s all bullshit.

You want to know if somebody is “the real deal” or not? How often are they on social media? If they are constantly running their mouths at all hours of the day and night, I can pretty much guarantee you that they haven’t done half the shit that they have claimed they have done. And that’s because when did they find the time to do all of that shit all the while posting constantly on social media?

You can’t be in two places at the same time. Sorry, you just can’t.

I’ve met a lot of people over the years and some of them have witnessed a lot of harrowing things. The thing is, they don’t usually like talking about those harrowing things. They would rather be done with them and put those things behind them. Most of my Father’s friends served in Vietnam. They’ve got the physical and mental scars to prove it and none of them want to talk about it and “relive the glory days” because the war for them wasn’t glorious. One of my Father’s friends has a crater in his lower back the size of a grapefruit. He got that scar from grenade shrapnel. I only found that out from talking to my Dad about it. The guy himself didn’t talk about it.

That same guy died about a year ago. From what I know, he had nightmares about the war from the time he was in it up to the day that he died. The only person that really knew what went down in Vietnam besides the man himself and his fellow soldiers that were there, was his now widow. I only know that he talked to her about it because I asked her, “Did he ever tell you what he witnessed?” And her answer was only 3 words.

“Yes he did.” And she didn’t say anything else about it.

I have a feeling even she didn’t get the whole story about what happened. He gave her enough so that when his PTSD kicked in it wouldn’t drive her crazy and send her running. And to give her credit, she stayed with him right up until the day that he died.

Guys bragging about their exploits, whatever they may be, are doing just that. Bragging. Guys that go on social media constantly and are constantly running their mouths truly only know how to do one thing: Run their mouths on social media.

You want to get a better idea of who may actually be legitimate and who is full of shit? Look and see how often they are on social media and what do they talk about. Do they have something to say about every topic under the sun? Are they the “James Bond hard to kill” guys? Are they constantly running their mouths? If so, you may have just encountered a Know-It-All. At the very least you’re dealing with a bullshitter. Act accordingly.

Ask yourselves one easy question:

“When does this guy find the time to do all of this shit and post on social media?”

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Authenticity and Anonymity

Rob Says2 Comments

photo of guy fawkes mask with red flower on top on hand

I’m sitting here drinking my third beer of the day and it’s already afternoon. Yeah you can’t drink all day if you don’t start drinking in the morning. I’ve been thinking about recent developments with the guys that I associate with online. What a bunch of magnificent bastards, each and every one of them. The funny thing is, most of them are totally anonymous. At least to the common masses and the riff raff. And yet they are some of the most authentic and genuine people that I’ve had the pleasure to get to know and interact with.

I know I’ve touched on anonymity before, so I’m not going to beat that dead horse too much. I do have to say that these guys that are running full-on anonymous, not only do they say what’s on their mind, they have to be some of the most authentic guys I’ve met. Way more authentic than some of the other accounts and people that I’ve followed who choose to show their faces and put their names out there.

I keep thinking about a post that TJ Martinell wrote for Masculine Geek. He titled it, “Authenticity Is The Future Coin Of The Realm.” I keep coming back to this post that he wrote, it’s like a piece of food stuck in my teeth, a “thorn in my side,” if you will. Not because what he wrote about isn’t true, but because it is true. The more technology advances and evolves, the easier it is for us to connect with one another, but it’s also easier to lie about who and what we are, and therein lies the problem.

We are social creatures looking for connection. Whether it be shooting the shit, expressing varied ideas, or looking to meet up with someone in real life and go out, have a drink, eat some food, and ultimately, hopefully, hop in the sack with someone and share ourselves sexually with them, it’s what we do.

Authenticity is what we ultimately seek I think. We want “something that is real.” I know I do. It doesn’t matter what form that connection is, but I want it to be “real.” To be genuine. To be authentic. I want to know that the people that I’m dealing with are indeed who they say they are, that they are expressing themselves however they do, but that they are indeed expressing who they actually are. Differences of opinion and moralities are fine by me, I’m not looking for an echo chamber or a clone of myself. I’m looking for you to be you, raw, warts and all.

You guys have no idea how frustrating it is for me to have all these thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head like a tornado, all screaming to be let out at the same time, and for me to try and get them all down here, and to hopefully have them make some sort of sense and have some sort of coherency. I worry more about, “do you fucking understand what I’m trying to say here?” than anything else. I can’t even begin to type fast enough to get this all out.

Hey techno-creator guys, it would be great if you could create an app or something that would literally be able to read my thoughts and spit them out here as fast as they show up for me, and to have them make some sort of sense. Could you get on that for me? I promise you, I’ll buy it if you do.

Anyways, back to anonymity. I’ve found an app or a site, I’m not really sure what it is to be exact. It’s both, but it’s not either really. It’s about as anonymous as you can get on the interwebs though. It’s become my guilty pleasure. I’m watching people say shit, under the guise of total anonymity, and they are being raw and real. All their dirty little secrets, all their hopes, dreams, and desires, all on public display. And the replies. Oh the replies. And then there is the private chats….

All these people saying what’s truly on their minds, because nobody knows who they really are. It’s messy. It’s sweaty. It’s high drama sometimes. It’s fucking brutal. And it’s who we are. We aren’t all clean, spotless, and shiny. We are a beautiful fucking mess. We swear, we fear, we attack sometimes. We smell. We sweat, and we are insecure. It’s all out there in full glory on display. And I love it.

I’m quasi-anonymous in the respect that I don’t reveal my exact location or my last name. My last name is so common though, that if anyone was to want to look for me, it would be like looking for a needle in a stack of needles. I put my real first name and my face out there though as a way of showing my authenticity. It’s also a form of exhibitionism I guess. I like having it out there. Maybe it’s a throwback to my younger days when I played guitar and had a band.

What’s the name of this app and/or site? First rule of fightclub is…

I’ve probably already said too much about it. I don’t know why I’m being possessive about it, but I am. Maybe if you are in my “inner circle,” I’ll let you know what I’m talking about and where it is, but for the common riff raff, nah. Figure it out for yourselves.

Here’s the question of the day for you:

How do we know when someone is being authentic? TJ talked about it in his essay. Did you read it?

The truth is, authenticity is something that has to happen over time. I think this is what the guys are talking about when they talking about “vetting.” It takes time to verify if someone is being authentic or not.

I strive for authenticity in myself because it is what I would like from others. What you see on my YouTube channel is who I am. It’s pretty much the same and consistent when I’m on Masculine Geek. It’s also who I am when I’m doing Red Evenings with Jack Napier. You’ll also see it show up on Twitter. I’m a clown sometimes. I’m an ass sometimes. I’m probably the guy, that when it comes down to it, I’m probably the poster boy of what NOT to do if you want to do better in your life. And yes, that was a shameless plug for all the things that I’m currently involved in.

You want to see Men being authentic? Go watch this video, and this video, for starts. That’s guys being authentic.

What’s the takeaway from this ramble? Be authentic. Whatever that is, be that. Be the Villain. Be an asshole. Be the serious guy if that’s you. Be the clown. Be whatever it is, but just be authentic. Even if you choose anonymity, be authentic. It works out better for you if you do.

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