A Guy Named “Dustin.”

July 22, 2020July 10, 2020 Rob Says2 Comments

grayscale photo of man walking on road

Recently I’ve had a couple of things transpire, and it just so happens that both things can be related to one another.

The first thing that happened is I ran into a guy on Facebook that I used to go to school with. I’ll call him, “Dustin.” From K through 12 I went to school with this guy. He was the kid that felt that hygiene wasn’t a priority. From messy, dirty, greasy hair, to bad breath and dirty teeth, to body odor…You get the picture.

Dustin was a kid that was a true outcast. A real social misfit. I don’t recall this guy having friends throughout school. Ever. Most of it was because of the lack of hygiene, but some of it was also the fact that he had no idea how to deal with people socially. He was the Original Sperg.

If ever there was a guy who could have easily turned into a mass shooter, Dustin was it. I’m slightly surprised he didn’t turn out that way, but then again, he was missing something that a lot of shooters have. The anger.

For all the shit that Dustin went through and put up with, he never got angry or resentful, at least as far as I could tell. Nowadays he’s a grown man with a decent job, a wife of almost 25 years and a couple of kids. Apparently there is somebody for everybody. Don’t get me wrong, Dustin didn’t marry an 8 and God knows, he’s no 8 either, but they are similar in SMV. Basically they are two peas in a pod and happy as a couple of clams. Good for them.

When I said that Dustin went through a lot of shit, I’m not kidding. From early on in elementary school, right up to the end of high school, somebody was always saying mean shit to him and in a lot of cases, they were kicking his ass too.

Before anyone goes off about bullying though, understand this:

Dustin brought most of it onto himself. He would say obnoxious things to people and get under their skin to the point that they would end up kicking his ass. He would harass and bother people until they couldn’t stand it and then the beatings would begin.

I remember working with Dustin when I was 16. We both worked at a local grocery store as baggers. I remember him goading me and being a nuisance and a menace until I wanted to kick his ass like everyone else did. But then I realized something:

Kicking his ass was no major feat. Nobody high fived you if you ended up in a fight with Dustin. The only problem with kicking his ass was that it was too easy. He would bring that shit onto himself.

For Dustin, there was no such thing as bad attention. Any attention was good attention to him. An ass beating was just as good as a kind word or two. I remember realizing this and since I didn’t feel like kicking his ass, which would just goad him into more bad behavior, I ignored him. Completely.

He would stand in my way, I would simply walk around him. He would say my name or some other nonsense, I acted like I didn’t hear anything. I totally shut him out and initially it drove him nuts. Then it didn’t and he moved on to someone else that would pay attention to him and usually the pattern would begin again.

Lately I’ve seen people on Twitter that have beefs with other groups. Each group thrives off of attention from what I’ve seen. You talk positive or negative about them, you’re just giving that other group attention and validity. I’m not talking about the joggers and skateboarders out protesting. This has nothing to do with the rioting and politics, at least on any sort of major level.

This is simply two groups of people that have different points of view and neither side is going to convince the other side of the “rightness” of their cause. To me it’s simply a time for both sides to agree to disagree and move on. What’s the point when neither side is going to budge?

Both sides have approached me in one form or another. Both sides want me to side with “them.” Newsflash: I side with myself. Don’t drag me into your drama. Trying to “take on” the opposition is only giving them attention and validity. You are just reinforcing their point of view as being the “correct” one and they are just going to double down, dig in, and become further entrenched in their beliefs.

Why bother? Life is too short.

What do you hope to gain by taking them on? A dopamine hit? Some weird flex? Do you think you’ll “convert them to your cause?” You aren’t going to change their point of view when they have become invested in it and identify with it, so give that up.

The only thing worse than a guy playing Cap’n Save A Ho with a woman is a guy playing Cap’n Save A Ho with another guy. It’s not going to work.

Remember what I’ve said time and time again:

Let ‘Em Burn.

This is just like Dustin from back in the day, doing and saying stupid shit all for validity and attention. Just ignore them and move on.

It’s funny to me when both sides approached me. Immediately I started thinking to myself, “Why are you coming to me? What do you want from me? What are you hoping to gain by having me ‘on your side?’ What is your agenda here? What do you hope to gain from all of this?”

The only questions that I asked myself that really matter to me though is, why bother? Who cares? Why get involved? It’s not my circus and not my monkeys.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Call This What You Will

August 28, 2019August 26, 2019 Rob SaysLeave a comment

beach blur clouds dawn

A while back, I read the book How To Fail At Almost Everything And Still Win Big: Kind Of The Story Of My Life, by Scott Adams. In it, he talks about ways that we can view the world, or filters, so that we can better predict things that’ll happen and that make us happy. It’s a good read and I highly recommend it.

Lately I’ve been on a tirade of sorts about my own “axioms” or “ways that Rob does shit and views the world.” The origin of those ways that I choose to view things and how to deal with them so that I can be happy all originated from Scott’s book. His “truth filters” was the seed that was planted, so to speak.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, my axioms, my “mantras”, my way of viewing the world, being better able to predict what is happening in it, and also what makes me happy is:

I’ve learned over the years, by watching people do what they do, that they are consistent if anything. They’ll keep doing the same things over and over, getting into the same relationships, just with different people, and yet they think that “this time,” they’ll get it “right.” I’ve been guilty of doing this myself. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. You can show people where they need to do something different, you can even show them how to do it differently, but until they are ready and willing to actually do the work themselves, they are going to keep making the same mistakes and doing the same shit over and over. This is why they have to burn.

Somebody paraphrased my concept of being the villain as, “some people aren’t going to like you, get used to it.” They weren’t wrong, but they were only half right. It’s true that the majority of people that you are going to come into contact with are not going to have an opinion about you one way or another. They are going to be totally neutral towards you. Some are going to dislike you no matter what. Maybe you look like their Dad who abused them and abandoned them when they were young. Maybe it’s the color of your skin. Maybe it’s your name. All guys named Jason are assholes and you happen to be named Jason. People are funny that way. But being the villain is more than accepting that you’re going to piss people off and that they aren’t going to like you. Being the villain is also embracing the fact that you are going to piss people off and taking that concept all the way. Embrace being the villain. Relish it. Cherish it. Become the best villain you can be. Be ruthless in your villainry. Enjoy the role. Wax your black moustache to fine points while cackling wildly and donning your black hat. Don’t just accept that you are going to be the villain, enjoy being the villain. It’s okay if people hate you, that just means you are doing it right.

Scorched earth is that ability to be willing to lose it all, to burn it all right down to the ground. To be willing to lose your job, lose all your money, lose your family and kids even. It’s the ability to destroy anything and everything that you hold valuable to you. It doesn’t mean that you have to destroy everything that you hold dear to yourself, but it does mean that you are willing to destroy everything that matters to you. You can’t bluff someone who isn’t bluffing. You can’t lose when you are willing to destroy it all. That’s what it means when you hear that saying, “he has nothing to lose.” It also means destroying your opposition completely. Don’t pull any punches and don’t hold back. If you decide to go scorched earth, you go all the way or you don’t go at all. Being able and willing to go scorched earth is where you get that zero fucks mentality from, and it’s hard to beat someone who gives zero fucks.

Vote with your wallet is really simple. Stop giving money to people, businesses, and causes that don’t align with your values. Someone shitting on you for being a man? Stop buying their products. Stop going to their establishments. Get shitty service on a consistent basis? Stop eating there. Don’t bother with throwing reviews up on Yelp, that’s just mental masturbation. Nobody reads that shit anyways. Just stop showing up. Stop buying. When someone asks me about an establishment, a person, or a business that I refuse to give my money to, my only response to their inquiry is, “I don’t buy from them. I don’t shop there. I don’t do business with them.” I don’t need to say anything else really. They get the message. What they do with that information is up to them.

Vote with your attention is the simplest and probably the most powerful one. It’s the simplest, but it isn’t always the easiest. With so many things competing for our attention, it can be difficult to tune the bullshit out. When your emotions get engaged, it can be difficult to disconnect and let it go, but ultimately that’s what you have to do. You don’t like women selling nudie pics and vids on the internet? Don’t buy them. Don’t watch them. Don’t “like” them. This is simple economics 101. The market will collapse if there is a supply of whatever it is, but there’s no demand for it. Women acting bratty and disrespectful? Ignore the behavior as best you can and remove your attention, even if it means that by removing your attention, you are walking away from her. We can’t use the rod or the stick anymore, punishment is pretty much out of the question, but we can remove the carrot and not reward shitty behavior.

It’s hard for trolls and idiots to engage you when you ignore and/or block. It’s hard for anyone wanting to sperg out on you to get a reaction from you when you refuse to engage in it. There’s no argument when one party refuses to participate. I don’t get bullshit coming at me from dumpster fires because I refuse to jump in and participate in them. Life’s too short. You enjoy dumpster fires? You do you baby. I’ll sit back here eating popcorn, drinking a beer, and smoking a cigar and giggling profusely as that shitstorm rages on. Let it burn indeed.

I’m sure as time goes on, I’ll be updating or even replacing these “maxims.” I’ll change and grow as I always do. I’ll replace them when they no longer work and no longer make me happy. But until then, this is where I’m at and this is what works for me. Give them a shot, they may just work for you too.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Situational Awareness

May 28, 2018January 3, 2019 Rob Says2 Comments

I was at the post office the other day with the girlfriend so that she could pick up a package and I was noticing all of the people around me.

First off, the unwashed masses are just that. Unwashed. Somebody was funking. And I mean bad.

The next thing I noticed was how everyone else there was literally a zombie. Heads down, headphones on, staring at their phones, worshiping at the altar of Facebook, Twitter, whatever. And a thought occurred to me: No one is paying attention to what is going on around them. I could massacre these people if I was so inclined. I could rob these people if I was so inclined. I could do all sorts of fucked up shit and no one would notice or be able to stop me until it was too late.

I didn’t do anything of the sort of course, but I could have. We shuffled along and got the package and went on our merry way.

Why am I bringing this up? What’s the point?

The point is this:

The majority of people are sleepwalking through their days. They have absolutely no idea what is going on around them. They really have no clue.

Don’t be one of them.

Pay attention to your surroundings. Be aware of what is going on around you. Put your phone away, take your headphones off. Know what’s up.

It could save you from becoming a statistic. It could save you an injury or your own death. It could save the lives of those you hold dear.

When I used to work in the armored car industry we were trained to have our heads on a “pivot.” We would constantly be swiveling our heads from side to side, up and down, back and forth. We would be constantly scanning our surroundings, looking for potential threats.

Learn to do the same. It’s not hard really, but if you haven’t done this before, it will take some practice and some getting used to.

Same goes for when you are riding a bike, a motorcycle, or driving your car. Keep scanning ahead. Keep your eyes moving. Keep checking your mirrors. I don’t know how many accidents I have avoided by simply doing this.

It still amazes me the lack of attention or the amount of distractions people have when driving in a vehicle. Talking on their phones, staring at their passengers while they talk, not paying attention to what’s right in front of them. Dealing with kids in the back seat, putting on makeup, eating, texting, drinking, reading a fucking book. Changing their clothes. I’ve pretty much seen it all.

When you have situational awareness, you can literally see the future. You’ll see what’s coming up, you see what’s next. You’ll be able to act instead of always reacting. You’ll develop a superpower. It will give you the ability to choose what to do next. You’ll be able to avoid a lot of bullshit, or you’ll be able to choose how to handle it if it is unavoidable.

Sharpen your Mind. Weaponize it. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter here.