Appreciating Women

September 2, 2019June 11, 2022 Rob Says5 Comments

woman holding flowers — It’s all about the Sun Hat Gods. LOL 😉

I’m probably going to catch hell from certain circles of the ‘Sphere about this essay. I imagine that there are going to be guys who will think that I’ve lost my mind and that I’m going “purple” or “blue pill” on them. I’m not. This isn’t about women all being sugar and spice and boy, do they smell nice. This isn’t about “you too can find and get your One.” This isn’t about pedestalization. In fact, it’s not really about women at all, or at least for the most part. It’s about You. Let’s carry on…

I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately, and something showed up for me that I’ve never really given a lot of thought to. Let me start off with a little back story…

The other day I was drinking and shitposting on Twitter as I usually do, and I had a conversation via DM’s with a guy that I follow and have a ton of respect for. We got to bullshitting as we do, and he sends me this link. Now in this link some asshole author called him an Esquire. The Red Pill Douche, Esq to be exact. Which got me to thinking, “this guy is fucking royalty!” That or the author of the blog post has a real hard-on for my guy. Either way, I decided right then and there that I too, wanted a title. So I knighted myself and gave myself the title of Esq. as well because, why the fuck not?

What did this little story have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing. I just decided to share it because I found it immensely amusing and immensely entertaining.

Anyways, after I knighted and anointed a few other guys and drank a couple more beers, I decided to see what my “daygamers” were up to. I have a lot of respect for these guys because they are out there in the field, hitting on the babes, getting shot down, getting the number, getting the close, and in some cases, getting the lay.

These guys are bulletproof, let me tell you. So I’m scrolling their timelines, reading their shit, and of course, links and blogs galore start showing up. And of course, yours truly has to go down THAT rabbit hole.

Many clicks later, I stumbled across a blog that I had only heard mention of, I’m sure the pick up guys will snicker and call me a noob as I’m sure this particular blog is old hat to that crew, but hey, you can teach an old dog like me new tricks.

So I’m combing through this particular blog and I stumble across a post written in 2016. It’s titled How To Appreciate Every Woman (At least temporarily), and it got me to thinking…

First off, it’s a great article and I highly recommend you read it, especially if you are a Man, and here’s what I got thinking about:

I’ve had a lot of experience with women over the years. I’m not just talking about sexually, but in general. Women don’t bother me for the most part. They are who they are, warts and all. Sometimes I see guys post some crazy shit about women, and I’m thinking to myself, “Really? Is that what happened to you? Man, that sucks. I’ve never had that happen to me, thank God.” And then I move on.

I see guys stressing about hypergamy, which is a thing, but it isn’t the be-all-end-all of women. There’s more going on there than that, and after I read that article that I just linked, it got me to thinking, “Are some guys opinions and points of view simply because they lack the experience with women that I’ve had?” Honestly I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that question, but it sounds plausible.

Guys, I won’t know how you answer this question, so at least be honest with yourselves:

How much experience have you had relating to women? I’m not just talking sexually. And I’m not talking about family either. How much interaction have you had with them besides, “Hello, how are you? How’s your day going?”

Based on my observations, I would think that there are some guys out there that have had little to no interaction with women. And that’s okay. I’m not judging.

Like the article mentions though, what if you decided to go out there and interact with women? Don’t worry about “getting the number,” or “getting the lay.” What if you just decided to talk to them? Have a conversation with them?

One of the things that I found really profound in that article was this:

Instead of looking for imperfections when you see a girl, look for her best feature.

This alone can transform your sex life.

I realize that I do this a lot. Every day, when I’m out and about, I run into women all over the place. A gigantic proportion of them I would not find sexually attractive, and I wouldn’t want to get them into bed. But I make it a point to find something about them that I find attractive, at least for that moment.

Maybe it’s her hair. The length of it. The color. The way she styles it. Maybe it’s the way she pushes her glasses up onto her nose. Maybe it’s her smile, or the way she snorts when she giggles. Maybe it’s something she is wearing. Maybe it’s her perfume.

I’ve even been able to find something attractive about a tatted up, pierced, and multi-colored hair SJW. After all, she is still a woman (at least as far as I know) and she may be pissed off at the world, but chances are it’s because she drank too much of the kool-aid.

So guys, you want to “up your chances” with women? You need to get out there and meet women and interact with them. It doesn’t mean you have to bed every woman you meet. Just talk to them. I challenge you to find one thing, just one thing that you can find attractive about her, and focus on that. See where it goes. You might surprise yourselves.

Picking up women is a numbers game. In many cases, as I have found through my own personal experience, it’s also a matter of being the right guy, in the right place, at the right time.

So here’s my challenge to you, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with women:

Go out and do your things like you always do. (That means you have to leave the house.)

See women all around you, and they really are all around you, so pay attention.

Every woman you see, find something about her that you find attractive. Could be anything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she walks, her laugh. Literally anything.

Make a mental note to yourself of whatever it was. Talk to her if you want. Or don’t. Move on. Rinse and repeat.

Our society and our culture has men and women at war with each other. It doesn’t have to be this way. It starts with you making a choice. Choose to look for something attractive about her when you see her. I don’t care if you talk to her or not. I don’t care how old she is. I don’t care if she’s “not your type.” Just find one thing, that one thing, that you can say to yourself that you find attractive about her. Instead of looking for reasons to reject her, look for something that you like about her.

It brings the humanity back to her. It takes the “us versus them” mentality down a notch.

One of the things that I have noticed is this: The more you can find something attractive about a woman, the easier it gets to talk to her. The more “experience” you have with women, the more success you will have with women. The more you interact with women, I’m not talking about texting and doing stuff online, I’m talking real life, face-to-face interactions with them, the more their humanity comes out. This whole, us vs them mentality starts to fade.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Call This What You Will

August 28, 2019August 26, 2019 Rob SaysLeave a comment

beach blur clouds dawn

A while back, I read the book How To Fail At Almost Everything And Still Win Big: Kind Of The Story Of My Life, by Scott Adams. In it, he talks about ways that we can view the world, or filters, so that we can better predict things that’ll happen and that make us happy. It’s a good read and I highly recommend it.

Lately I’ve been on a tirade of sorts about my own “axioms” or “ways that Rob does shit and views the world.” The origin of those ways that I choose to view things and how to deal with them so that I can be happy all originated from Scott’s book. His “truth filters” was the seed that was planted, so to speak.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, my axioms, my “mantras”, my way of viewing the world, being better able to predict what is happening in it, and also what makes me happy is:

I’ve learned over the years, by watching people do what they do, that they are consistent if anything. They’ll keep doing the same things over and over, getting into the same relationships, just with different people, and yet they think that “this time,” they’ll get it “right.” I’ve been guilty of doing this myself. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. You can show people where they need to do something different, you can even show them how to do it differently, but until they are ready and willing to actually do the work themselves, they are going to keep making the same mistakes and doing the same shit over and over. This is why they have to burn.

Somebody paraphrased my concept of being the villain as, “some people aren’t going to like you, get used to it.” They weren’t wrong, but they were only half right. It’s true that the majority of people that you are going to come into contact with are not going to have an opinion about you one way or another. They are going to be totally neutral towards you. Some are going to dislike you no matter what. Maybe you look like their Dad who abused them and abandoned them when they were young. Maybe it’s the color of your skin. Maybe it’s your name. All guys named Jason are assholes and you happen to be named Jason. People are funny that way. But being the villain is more than accepting that you’re going to piss people off and that they aren’t going to like you. Being the villain is also embracing the fact that you are going to piss people off and taking that concept all the way. Embrace being the villain. Relish it. Cherish it. Become the best villain you can be. Be ruthless in your villainry. Enjoy the role. Wax your black moustache to fine points while cackling wildly and donning your black hat. Don’t just accept that you are going to be the villain, enjoy being the villain. It’s okay if people hate you, that just means you are doing it right.

Scorched earth is that ability to be willing to lose it all, to burn it all right down to the ground. To be willing to lose your job, lose all your money, lose your family and kids even. It’s the ability to destroy anything and everything that you hold valuable to you. It doesn’t mean that you have to destroy everything that you hold dear to yourself, but it does mean that you are willing to destroy everything that matters to you. You can’t bluff someone who isn’t bluffing. You can’t lose when you are willing to destroy it all. That’s what it means when you hear that saying, “he has nothing to lose.” It also means destroying your opposition completely. Don’t pull any punches and don’t hold back. If you decide to go scorched earth, you go all the way or you don’t go at all. Being able and willing to go scorched earth is where you get that zero fucks mentality from, and it’s hard to beat someone who gives zero fucks.

Vote with your wallet is really simple. Stop giving money to people, businesses, and causes that don’t align with your values. Someone shitting on you for being a man? Stop buying their products. Stop going to their establishments. Get shitty service on a consistent basis? Stop eating there. Don’t bother with throwing reviews up on Yelp, that’s just mental masturbation. Nobody reads that shit anyways. Just stop showing up. Stop buying. When someone asks me about an establishment, a person, or a business that I refuse to give my money to, my only response to their inquiry is, “I don’t buy from them. I don’t shop there. I don’t do business with them.” I don’t need to say anything else really. They get the message. What they do with that information is up to them.

Vote with your attention is the simplest and probably the most powerful one. It’s the simplest, but it isn’t always the easiest. With so many things competing for our attention, it can be difficult to tune the bullshit out. When your emotions get engaged, it can be difficult to disconnect and let it go, but ultimately that’s what you have to do. You don’t like women selling nudie pics and vids on the internet? Don’t buy them. Don’t watch them. Don’t “like” them. This is simple economics 101. The market will collapse if there is a supply of whatever it is, but there’s no demand for it. Women acting bratty and disrespectful? Ignore the behavior as best you can and remove your attention, even if it means that by removing your attention, you are walking away from her. We can’t use the rod or the stick anymore, punishment is pretty much out of the question, but we can remove the carrot and not reward shitty behavior.

It’s hard for trolls and idiots to engage you when you ignore and/or block. It’s hard for anyone wanting to sperg out on you to get a reaction from you when you refuse to engage in it. There’s no argument when one party refuses to participate. I don’t get bullshit coming at me from dumpster fires because I refuse to jump in and participate in them. Life’s too short. You enjoy dumpster fires? You do you baby. I’ll sit back here eating popcorn, drinking a beer, and smoking a cigar and giggling profusely as that shitstorm rages on. Let it burn indeed.

I’m sure as time goes on, I’ll be updating or even replacing these “maxims.” I’ll change and grow as I always do. I’ll replace them when they no longer work and no longer make me happy. But until then, this is where I’m at and this is what works for me. Give them a shot, they may just work for you too.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Demons

August 26, 2019August 24, 2019 Rob Says2 Comments

1_1e8i4KFLv8IOBTkKtCD08A

I got into a discussion with a friend a few days ago about “demons.” Now I’m not talking about mystical, woo-woo, entities from another plane of existence here. I’m talking about that metaphorical idea of the dark thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that reside in us all to one degree or another.

Our “demons” can come to be from a variety of ways. Trauma of one form or another is what comes first to my mind. Violence, assault, that sort of thing. Those “demons” can become that voice, or voices inside our heads that are our inner critics. Those voices that hold us back in fear and doubt. Those voices that tell you that you can’t, and that you shouldn’t and that you’ll never be good enough.

Here’s the thing though:

What if those “demons” aren’t necessarily a bad thing? What if all “they” are is your own body and mind’s way of trying to protect you from the unknown or from repeated exposure to something? What if you “harnessed” them and put them to good use?

Awhile back I had a “chat” with my “demons.” Instead of assuming that they were bad and out to cause me harm, I just genuinely observed them, what they were, and what they were trying to tell me. I realized that they came from a place of good intention and that they were either trying to protect me or that they were trying to galvanize me into doing something else instead of continuing down the road that I was walking.

What if you shifted your perspective about your own personal demons? What are they actually trying to tell you? What place of comfort are they trying to move you from? What sort of action are they trying to get you to take?

I tend to view my demons as drill instructors from boot camp giving me a swift kick in the ass to get me up and over that obstacle in front of me. They are not my enemies or obstacles themselves, they are my allies and friends. They aren’t here to hinder me or slow me down, they are here to push me, to make me uncomfortable so that I’ll grow.

What if instead of viewing your demons as a hindrance and using them as some sort of excuse to play the victim, what if you allied yourself to them and actually gave them an ear to their counsel to hear what they are really trying to tell you? Do they serve you? Or do you serve them? You have a choice in this matter. You always have and you always will.

Maybe they are trying to make you stronger. Maybe they are telling you that it’s okay to play the villain. Maybe they are telling you that sometimes, people have to burn. Maybe they are telling you that sometimes, you have to burn the village in order to save it.

And what’s wrong with a little cleansing fire? Fire isn’t a bad thing, it just is. Sure it can be destructive, but it also eliminates the old, the decaying, and the decrepit so that something new can rise from the ashes.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.