Rian Stone tweeted something recently that hit home for me. Check out the screenshot.

Now, I have waxed poetic about morality and amorality in the past. I personally prefer to keep morality out of the conversation when it comes to the “Red Pill.” Why? Because I prefer to keep my own morality to myself. You can keep yours to yourself. That way, we’ll get along better in the long run, because your morality and mine are probably not going to intertwine.

And here we are. When Rian was talking about a guy “sorting out his problem,” he was specifically mentioning something about a guy who decided to cheat on his wife. All three of Rian’s “Rules” are legit if you decide to go down this path. 1. Be discreet. 2. Don’t rub your wife’s nose in it. And 3. Don’t offload your guilt with a confession, that’s selfish.

Again, for the moment, Dear Reader, leave your morality at the door.

IF you decide to “solve your problem” (your lack of sex in the bedroom) with another woman, be discreet. Be fucking quiet about it.

IF you go there, don’t rub your wife’s or your girlfriend’s nose in it. Don’t tell her about it. Don’t wave it in front of her. Honestly? She probably already knows or has a good idea of what you are up to. She’s not stupid.

And IF you do go there, DO NOT offload your guilt about it to her as a confession. It IS selfish of you.

Here’s a story about this last part…

I told you all a while back about a friend from college, Brett.

Back in the 90’s, Brett had a girlfriend that he was crazy about. So crazy that he ended up moving in with her. She was a flight attendant for a major airline, and she had fantastic breasts. She also made a ton of money. She was over the moon for Brett.

I figured that the two of them would end up getting married and having a bunch of babies and doing all the TradCon shit that you all love and know about. But…

That didn’t happen.

Brett went out one night, slipped and fell, and ended up with his dick in another woman.

How do I know this? Because he showed up at my door the next day and looked like a man who just received a death sentence.

He was wracked with guilt. He was full of remorse. He was beside himself.

I asked him what he did and he told me.

I asked him if he had told his flight attendant girlfriend. He hadn’t. Yet.

I asked him what did he think would happen if he told her. He said that it would break her heart and that she would kick him out and leave him.

I asked him if that was what he wanted. He said no, it wasn’t.

I then told him, “Then you say nothing. You live with your guilt and shame. You bury it and you never do it again. If you tell her, it’ll only hurt her, and it will only be because you want to assuage your guilt. If you love her, you’ll never mention it to her, and you’ll never do it again. That is the price for what you did.”

A few days later he showed up again, looking worse than before.

“You told her didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“What did she do?”

“She broke up with me and kicked me out of her house. She said she never wants to see me again.”

“Do you feel better now that you confessed?”

“No.”

“Let that be a lesson.”

Brett and the flight attendant never spoke again. Not to this day.

I’m not advocating that you cheat.

But if you do, be discreet, don’t rub her nose in it, and don’t offload your guilt as a confession. It’s just selfish of you. If you feel guilty, that is your “cross to bear.” Don’t throw it on her to “lighten your load.” You did it, now you get to live with it. You. You get to live with it.

Maybe that’s my morality coming into play, I’m not exactly sure. But I’ve always believed that “you have made your bed, now you get to sleep in it.”

So either go there, or don’t. But if you do, you get to sleep in it as far as I’m concerned.

And it’s better if you don’t

Most guys don’t accept that they need to change. They think being Red Pilled means talking about these ideas and wearing the Red Pill mask instead of solving their actual problems. They’ve turned Red Pill into a kind of performance art that they have to present to the world in order to get the results they want. And while you can play Don Quixote for a while, as Rob Says says, “they always out themselves.”

This performance of course isn’t grounded in any real change. It’s a lie that guys tell themselves because it’s an easy way to get validation from people on the internet. I’ve talked with guys who will outright lie to you in order to make it appear that they are slaying pussy left and right. But when prodded further, the stories, framings, and suggestions they give you can be seen to be neither reliable nor helpful. And the guys who fuck know that they’re bullshitting. Being a fuckup is one thing; lying that you’re not a fuckup when you are is much much worse.

“I am Alpha. And I have no problems.”

Here’s how you can tell these guys are faking it. They will be the first to talk about how successful they are with women and how they’re lives are just awesome. I laugh now when I see this happen, because a) nobody fucking asked, b) once you have it, you don’t brag. Consider the following: why would a successful guy want loudly prove that he’s getting what he wants? Who exactly is he trying to convince? Hint: Not you.

Another tell is that he’ll talk about how he’s never getting rejections, and he’s never getting LMR, and he’s never getting flakes, and he’s always banging 9s and 10s. I don’t know about you, but in my experience, when an uncertain event in question isn’t in your control, I’m certain of two things: It is never 100% failure, nor is it 100% success.

And finally, what you’ll notice is that details don’t add up. They’ll talk about how they pulled off something that will not work if you try it. The words they use are so bookish that they can’t talk about the experiences they’ve had in their own words. They’ll use ideas that have no relation to the situation you’re dealing with when giving you advice.

Cope hope

One of the few things that stuck in my mind when reading No More Mr Nice Guy is this idea of guys learning to cope. Lying is a form of coping. By lying you get to tell yourself that you’re still awesome even if by your own definition, you are far from where you want to be.

You’re hoping that by saying these things, you get to make up for the fact that you’ve done nothing. Here’s the thing: even if you convince all of us that you’ve got your shit together, none of us who believe in you have to sleep in and wake up in your bed. A guy might get his validation from RP Twitter, Reddit or YT, but if what he says doesn’t match reality, he has to suffer the consequences of that reality.

It is much easier to cope with a lie than it is to accept the truth of your reality and fix it as you feel like you need to. And the reality is that most of the guys on these platforms are doing it and that’s all they know.

Absolutely unnecessary

And here’s the thing. If you’re in a space that is built so guys and shamelessly post field reports and ask for feedback from total strangers, it is absolutely unnecessary to lie. If anything, it’s better that you don’t lie. If you find a place that gives you harsh feedback when needed, it’s one of the last places on earth that you need to lie to.

If I meet a guy on Twitter that wants to learn this stuff, he doesn’t need to be awesome right out the gate. In fact, quite the opposite. I expect him to be terrible with women, have no social skills, and only come forward with a willingness to learn and try things.

This is the last place on earth anyone needs to lie to. We all suck, me included. There will come a time when you no longer suck. But today is not yet that day. You’re in good company if you feel like you need work. If we see your effort, we are often inclined to help.

So if you’ve spent time here online and you’ve been lying your whole time here. Don’t. You’re wasting everybody’s time. And most importantly to yourself, you’re wasting your time. Start a new account and eat your humble pie. Maybe you’ll be better for it.

I used to be angry at how most of us suck. It bothered me because some of the people. I thought already “made it”, in fact did not. I started a discord server in the hope of giving guys a chance to explore these ideas together and to apply it in our own lives. I failed to do so, only because all of the work required is on them, and not on me. This realization frustrated me for months. It took me a long time to resolve this issue for myself, but I think I’m not angry anymore. And here’s why.

I was wrong to assume that men, if untouched by society, are going to live their lives as self-sovereign individuals. Quite the contrary. All men for the vast majority of human history were entirely slaves in one form or another, whether as prehistoric humans, as ancient peoples, or as modern creatures. Consider the following:

• Only in the last few thousands years did mankind have the ability to choose which goods and services to buy.
• Only in the last thousand years did men realize that rulers could be persuaded to act on the needs of the many.
• Only in the last five hundred did the notion of the people choosing who ruled become a reality.
• Only in the last 100 years has technology freed us from the land, made our labor super efficient, and gave us the free time to do whatever the fuck we want.

The rest of that history? Being a slave for the pack. Being a slave for the king. Being a serf for the lord. Being an upright citizen of the law. And working for “the man” on company time.

Slavery is our default setting. Human freedom is the anomaly. All the evolutionary, societal, and life scripts we have, for the most part, do not optimize for mental point of origin. You should not be surprised to see men suck.

All of our instincts are wired for us to find direction in others, if not others, an abstract ideal that has no real relation to our personal interest.

Why then would you be angry? We’re animals doing animal things running on animal scripts.

So if you’re doing work, what does this observation mean for you?

It means that this takes effort to go from slave to master. You need to do continuous reflection on yourself to figure out where your weak spots are and to work on them. You need to figure out whether this thing you’re doing is for your best interest or for somebody else or to seek validation from somebody else. And that work never stops, but it does become trainable.

There’s a lot of places you can take this insight. Maybe you don’t want to be a slave and you want to change your lot in life. Maybe you’re content with your station and are okay with life coming to you as it sees fit. Maybe you want something in the middle, where society can lead you into doing something that’s beneficial for it, but other times, you get your slice of the pie. Whatever you choose, and whatever people choose, understand that you’re a slave first, but not forever if you wish.

Originally posted on Substack.