Recently, a co-worker of mine told me that he has met somebody. A woman to be exact. He’s been texting with her, talking on the phone with her, and talking to her via Facetime or some other video service. He’s been enjoying their banter, and it sounds like in many ways, they have hit it off.

Why hasn’t he physically met her yet? Because she lives in another state.

He reached out to me a little while ago to tell me what I’m telling you, Dear Reader. Apparently, they have hit a “snag.” They have been planning on meeting up, and she had to tell him that she’s short on funds. Things happen, the unexpected shows up, and life throws you a curveball. You can’t plan for every eventuality. When he told me about the latest setback, all I could was say, “Ugh. That’s a tough call.”

It’s a tough call for him. Not for me. I know what I would do in this particular situation, but he didn’t ask me, “Rob, what would you do?” He didn’t ask me, “Hey man, what do you think I should do?” He simply stated that he “doesn’t know what to do” in this situation. As far as I’m concerned, “I don’t know what to do,” and “what should I do?” or “what would you do?” are completely different things. In fact, saying “I don’t know what to do,” isn’t a question. It’s a statement.

I have travelled to be with women before.

One time, I met up with one woman in Vegas, which then turned into her coming to Salt Lake, followed up by me going to where she lived, in Seattle.

The other time I flew from Salt Lake to Delaware to be with a woman.

I had a great time with both women.

That’s because they were invested.

I’m a risk assessor by nature. If the risk outweighs the reward, I’m not going to do it. End of story. That’s where investment comes in. By investment, I mean her investment.

Texting me results in getting a text or two back. Calling me gets you a phone call. Same with video chat. All of those are low risk, low investments.

I’m willing to travel to meet women. I’ve done it before and I’ll most certainly do it again. IF…

She’s invested enough.

The further I have to travel, the more money I may need to spend, the more logistics I need to put up with and go through, require more investment from her.

Low investment from her = low traveling radius from me.

I met a woman a couple of years ago, “Amanda.” Besides the things I talk about in that particular post, I look back and realize that “Amanda” was “low investment” on her end. I’m not going to drive 2 1/2 hours each way for a “hug and a handshake.” It’s too high of a risk for me and isn’t worth my time, money, or energy. That’s why I have a 25 mile radius in general. I’ll drive up to 25 miles or approximately a half hour each way to meet someone, only to get a “hug and a handshake.” Anything beyond that radius is going to require some sort of investment from her.

I realize that there are no 100% guarantees that I’m going to go somewhere and get laid. She absolutely has the right and ability to change her mind. In fact, I have the right and ability to change my mind. That happened one time, probably back in 2004 or 2005, I don’t remember exactly. I do remember meeting a woman online and she was decent looking enough, and she invited me over to her place.

I took a shower, shaved, put on good clothes, brushed my teeth, packed a condom or three, and headed out. She answered the door with her hair in a ponytail. She was wearing a stained T-shirt and sweatpants that looked like they needed to be washed. And she had Dorito breath. The crazy thing is, she had a beautiful home.

I was repulsed by what I saw and my desire for sex dropped to subzero. I talked politely with her for about 10 minutes and then I went home. If she couldn’t bother with the bare minimum, I couldn’t bother to fuck her.

The point is, I realize that there’s no 100% chance you are going to get laid. It happens. Whether she backs off for whatever reason, or you back off for whatever reason. But I do like to “hedge my bets.” And that’s where investment comes in.

She’s willing to pay for her own transportation, or drive herself to meet me? That’s investment. She’s willing to let me come to her house on the first “date?” That’s investment. She’s willing to come to my house, knowing why I’m inviting her there, and she shows up? That’s investment. She’s willing to pay for her own airfare to meet me somewhere? That’s investment. She’s willing to let me spend the night/weekend/week at her place, or she books us a room? That’s investment.

“Amanda” was not willing to come to me, so I gave her the option that I could come to her. “Called her bluff,” so to speak. That’s when I got a bunch of bullshit from her. She simply wasn’t willing to invest. So I never went. It’s really too bad for her, and for me too, we both could have had a great weekend of sex, food, and sightseeing. But alas.

I just had a woman reach out to me over the weekend. She found my phone number on one of my dating profiles. Yes, I do that. I’m willing to put that out there. Most women don’t have the guts to text or call, but the ones that do are usually worth my time. She actually tried to call me first, but it went to voicemail because when I go to bed, there’s only a couple of contacts that go through, everyone else gets voicemail. She then texted me right after. I woke up to that. Now, that’s not huge investment, but it’s enough for me to realize that she’s real, interested in me, and worth a text or two.

I got back to her and her english was impeccable. No english as a second language from her. That’s a good sign. She bantered and flirted like a normal human being, and then suggested we exchange photos. I told her, “you first,” and she complied. She was okay, but not great. We continued to talk and she suggested that we meet for drinks. (Do you guys understand investment yet?) I found out she lived outside my 25 mile radius. And that would have been totally okay, except…

I wasn’t attracted to her.

I’m almost positive that had I found her attractive, we would have met up, had a drink or two and a few laughs, followed up by having sex. But she didn’t do “it” for me. I had to pass. She didn’t “get my dick hard” as BullRush likes to say.

Like I said, I’m willing to travel to meet women. I call it “Sex and Sightseeing.” The sightseeing part isn’t mandatory. I’m perfectly fine with staying in a bed and never seeing the sun if the sex is there. Ideally I would like both though. The girl from Seattle and I saw a bunch of Vegas besides having sex. She got to see some of Salt Lake when she came here, and I got to see a bunch of Seattle. Sex was on the menu for all visits.

Same with the woman in Delaware. I got to see some places and some stuff that I would have never seen. That’s the only time I have been to Delaware so far. If “Amanda” had been more invested, she could have showed me around her town, but since she wasn’t…. Now that I think about it, there was a woman, the same year that I was in contact with “Amanda,” that lived about 3 hours south of me. She contacted me first and seemed interested (investment) but alas, the investment wasn’t enough for me to make a 6 hour round trip drive. I’m not going that far for “a hug and a handshake.”

When I first got divorced, I did a Tarot reading for a woman. I don’t remember now what I said or what she asked. But I do remember that she contacted a mutual friend of ours and wanted to know my “status.” Apparently I left a “mark” on her. Fast forward a couple of weeks and she showed up to my house, wrapped her arms and body around mine as we kissed, started stripping as she walked up my stairs, and asked me which direction to my bedroom. She lived 2 hours away, round trip. Not only is that desire, that’s investment.

Getting back to the guy I work with:

There have been some minor setbacks as to them meeting up. He also mentioned some things about her that in my mind, make her sound a little “skittish.” I don’t know her and all the information that I have about her is coming from him, so it’s second hand to me. What I do know, from my own perspective at least, is that she has less investment in what they are doing than he does.

She’s run into money issues, and from what he told me, he’s considering flying her out to him.

Personally, I wouldn’t do that. If he’s making all the arrangements and footing the tab, that’s less of an investment that she has to make. She could flake or ghost, and he’s left with a lighter wallet. Or worst case, she shows up, either he or she, or both, realize, “Yeah, it’s not gonna happen.” Or, maybe it does, but now she doesn’t want to leave. Or maybe she can’t leave. Not because of him, but because of money, timing, etc.

My thoughts is one of two things:

They either postpone their meetup until she has the money to fly herself to a middleground, if that is what they’re thinking, or he offers to go to her. And if she balk’s, hesitates, or gives some sort of bullshit answer? Well, there’s your answer.

Investment is a thing that I look for when it comes to sex and dating. I know it’s never a 100% guarantee that it will happen. But I want to get as close to 100% as I can possibly get it.

One last thing:

I’m okay with meeting women with a low investment if I happen to be in the same area that they happen to be in. What I mean is something like this:

I’m travelling abroad, and it has nothing to do with a woman. I happen to be in a city/state/town that she also happens to be in. She realizes that and hits me up. “Oh hey! You are (here?)” Or “You’re going to be (here?) We should meet up!” And if I have the time, I’ll meet up with her. If it turns into hot monkey sex? That’s a bonus. If it ends in a “hug and a handshake,” that’s okay too. Her low investment is fine, because she wasn’t the reason that I was in town.

If I’m going specifically to meet a woman though, I need a certain amount of investment from her.

Hello there, Dear Reader. It’s been a minute since I have posted something to you all. What’s been going on in my life? Well, for one, I have been doing fire performances and fire breathing. I have also been performing as a fire safety for some of these same events.

Yes, I’ve become a carny. Fucking carnies. Misfits, freaks, belly dancers, stilt-walkers, jugglers, fire eaters, fire breathers, fire dancers, acrobats, you name it, and I’ve been to several Renaissance Festivals, and it’s only the beginning of June.

That’s me. I’m the Faceless Jester. I don’t talk, so I’m sort of a mime as well. The “scare factor” when it comes to small children and even some adults, is nothing short of amazing. It’s “a little fun, and a little fear.” For whatever odd reason, the people going to these events love this costume and want to take pictures of me. Sometimes they just want a picture of me, sometimes they want a picture of us together. Either way it’s fun. You know you stumbled onto something when the person asking for a picture hands their phone to the belly dancer you are with, and asks them to take the picture.

You would be surprised how few know that there’s “me,” and then there is “The Jester.” I figured that everyone in the “Carny Crew” knew that we were one and the same. We all got a surprise when I found out that wasn’t always the case. I’ll leave the music video that I played a part in for another day.

Anyways, you’re not here for that, not really. You’re here for a “nugget,” a little piece of wisdom, insight, or even a rant. Who am I to not oblige you?

Jack Napier tweeted the first screenshot that I posted. It’s ultimately what got me thinking about what I am now going to write.

I believe it was Rian Stone who first mentioned “narcissistic fantasies,” and that was some time ago. It was all about how guys have these fantasies and “scripts.” I’m sure you know the ones.

“She needs a zero notch count!”

“She needs to be a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets!”

“She needs to be good with kids and wants to have kids and wants to homeschool them and stay home making waffles and sewing clothes for our seven kids.”

The funny thing is, you can telegraph your fantasy, (and let’s be honest, shall we? It’s just a fantasy) and any woman with a bit of observation and two brain cells, will sell it right back to you. Why would she do that? So that she can get what she wants. Does that make her Lilith, Destroyer of Worlds? No. It makes her human with her own wants and needs.

The problem is, most guys who telegraph these fantasies (and they are fantasies) forget that they are fantasies, and start believing in their own bullshit. You start thinking that the fantasy that you are spewing from your open mouths are real. She’s just giving you what you want.

Is it her fault? I don’t think so. I think it’s yours, because you blindsided yourself with your own bullshit.

Now… Let’s move on a little shall we?

Jack mentioned: “Want to know who your friends are? Try having the hottest girl at the party. You’ll find out REAL quick.”

I’m not throwing shade at Jack. I like to think I know what he meant when he tweeted this.

The thing is, guys are just like women. Or in this case, what I mean is, we are all just people. We have our wants, needs, and desires. We all have an “agenda.” So if that is the case, would you really be surprised to find out that your “buddy” wants to fuck your girl?

The whole “Bro’s before Ho’s” mentality is where most guys fuck it up with other guys. Any guy that tells me, “I would never!” is either straight up lying, or he’s naive and delusional. “I would never!” Until it happens. Whatever “it” is. The truth is, you don’t know what you would do in any given situation until it actually comes up.

Maybe you believe that “you would never,” and in certain circumstances and contexts, you wouldn’t. But there’s always something that would get you eating your words and doing the opposite of what you said you would “never do.”

I tend to look at all of my friends, and in my mind, I say to myself, “they are just humans, with human wants, needs, and desires. They fuck up like humans do, because nobody is perfect. They are going to do what they think serves their best interests.”

And if something arises, I act accordingly. I don’t get butthurt, angry, or bitter if what they do wasn’t something I anticipated. I may cut them out of my life if the offense is egregious enough, but I don’t assume that because I have sort of “loyalty test or expectation,” that they are going to follow it.

Just like women can sell your fantasy back to you, so can men. In fact, when I see a guy posting something about “brotherhood and loyalty,” I know where his blindspot is. I could sell it back to him if I was so inclined.

Does this mean that you should “trust no one?” I don’t think so. It’s more about don’t put “anything past anyone.” You can still have your friends, you can still have your women or woman, but don’t put anything past anyone.

If you think what I’m saying is negative, jaded, or cynical, then you missed the point. In fact, I would say that you are still hanging onto your fantasy. You’re “doubling down” on it. That’s where cynicism and bitterness comes from. Read those last couple of sentences again.

Could your childhood best friend fuck you over and fuck your girl? Yes. Will he? Maybe. Maybe not.

Could your girl “branch swing” to another guy? Yes. Will she? Maybe. Maybe not.

Their actions will tell you everything you need to know so that you can act accordingly. Don’t let your narcissistic fantasies get in the way.

It is NOT a philosophy or a “lifestyle”

I: Then what is it?

“There. Right there, for all you fucking feminists who keep talking about this like a flawed ideology, that’s all it is. Men talking to other men, swapping notes, and learning… that’s it.” – TheUltimateCad

Testosterone is the driving force behind civilization. You can be angry when you read this or you might want to try to refute it but upon reflection you will soon realize it has been men who built civilization through the millennia.

It made us fight predators, lead a tribe, find a town and fuck other tribes shit up and most of all reproduce with women to guarantee the continuation of our lineage in society.

Men wanted to fuck and wanted to since they came into existence.

That’s what trp, mrp, altfastseduction, sosuave and as its collective term ‘the manosphere’ is about.

Men figuring out how to optimize and maximize their sexual strategy.

From single, to dating to married these men in these spaces have connected over that single purpose.

Remember when you were a kid and you and the other kids with a Nintendo swapped notes on how to beat xyz boss?

It’s like that but with tits and for adults.

No one asked why and everyone cared about how.

Their how is how to get laid and keep getting it.

No ideology, no philosophy, no cult and especially not a lifestyle of likeminded individuals who will lift you up when no one else will.

II: But I need help

No one can help you but you. The men who came before you can share their experience and show you the tools they used to get their desired outcome but it’s you who needs to apply them.

There are no leaders, there are no priests and there are no bosses. Only men who came before you who were where you stand now.

They once had the same questions you have now.

They stood there with dick in hand and some raging harpy beating them into submission not knowing what to do.

They went through what you are going through and let go of their dick, tamed the shrew and took control of their life only.

Be grateful but don’t obsess.

III: What can I expect?

As Whisper made very clear once.

“TRP’s mission is to increase men’s sexual power and options. Anyone who does not share that goal will be banned the instant we detect them.

That means you must be here for one or both of these reasons:

• You are a man who wants to improve your own control over your life, mostly your sex life.
• You want to help men achieve that goal.

That’s all.

• Here for any other reason? Banned.
• Here to argue about whether that’s a good goal? Banned.
• Write anything in here that sets some other goal (moralizing, showing off, political agenda, etc) above that goal? Banned.
• Disrupting that mission in any other way? Banned.“

Keep your politics, convictions, morals and diet preferences to yourself.

And with that I bid you welcome to the locker room.