Category: Uncategorized

The New Little Rascals Building Forts

Rob SaysLeave a comment
two-cats-one-box-fort-asshole
The Problem Is, You Can Only Have One Asshole In Fort Asshole

Hat tip to Nick August, @StoicRed1 on Twitter, for the title and the inspiration for this post.

Without knowing it at the time, Nick brought up something for me that has been an itch that I’ve been needing to scratch. His quote above brought it to the surface for me, and now, hopefully, I’ll get to scratch that motherfucker.

So here’s the deal:

I’ve always considered myself as a guy who is interested in what “is” instead of what “ought to be,” or what “was.” I’ve always been interested in improving myself instead of trying to be a part of a group. I know that the desire to be a part of something “bigger” is a real thing, and we are herd animals by nature. We are social, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve been a part of different groups over the years. Everything from the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts when I was a kid, to having a band in high school, to being in an honor society during college, and the last group that I affliliated with and belonged to was a Motorcycle Club. I understand group affiliation and the need to belong.

I also understand that you should seriously consider what it is that you’re looking for before joining a group. TJ Martinell wrote about it awhile ago, and it had something to do with “gamma’s” and also if you want to know how the group is, look to its leader. How is the leader, or leadership? The problem that I’ve encountered with most groups, especially those that are online, is that nothing actually gets accomplished or gets done except for possibly the “worship” of the leadership, and a lot of back patting each other. A lot of sitting around, talking shit, buying yet more “courses” or “secret information” from the leadership, a lot of digital “high-fives,” and a lot of mental masturbation.

I’m not part of any online groups at this time, other than hanging out with the guys from Masculine Geek. I do know and have happened to talk to some guys who either are, or were, a part of some online “exclusive” groups, groups coincidentally that you had to pay some sort of fee to join, and these people have given me a small taste of what is going on in these online groups. All the shit that I just mentioned? Yeah, that’s what’s going on.

Larping with a side of mental masturbation is what is going on. That and for a lot of guys in these groups, a lightening of their wallets. Personally, I don’t have an issue with the leadership fleecing its flock. A fool and his money are soon parted, or something like that. Sometimes that is the lesson that is needed. “What did you get out of that group, bud?” “Nothing but broke. But hey, I won’t be doing that again!” You get to burn.

The New Little Rascals Building Forts. In this case, cardboard box forts. Forts made of farts and hot air. But don’t worry Brother! We are going to save the West! Join us now and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!

Ooops, my bad, wrong quote.

The West can’t be saved because it doesn’t want to be saved. It would have already been saved by now, but here we are, on an express train to hell, with no engineer at the controls, and if you were to get inside the engine cab, you would find that the controls are broken and nobody has the manual or the tools to fix it. And nobody wants to fix it. Except for maybe that one leader guy and his seven subscribers to his online group. But even they don’t want to “Save the West.” They just want to talk about saving the West. The leader just wants to keep them around longer in order to get more money from the monthly memberships and whatever online courses he can sell to them. Otherwise, he’ll have to go back out in the real world and get an actual job. But fuck it, you’ve got money to blow and the camaraderie is awesome, so why not?

I’m more interested in how I can be more self-sufficient and how the world actually operates, instead of how I wished it operated. I understand that a Man cannot be an island unto himself, that teamwork gets things done faster, better, and more efficiently. But when the leadership and the group itself has no real idea of what is going on, and they have no real idea of how to deal with the situation that they claim to know about, yeah, that can be a problem. But hey, go ahead and join that group and build a cardboard box fort with your new buddies. Tell me how’s that working out for ya, bud?

Like most platitudes, mantras, and slogans, “building forts” is another narcotic. It makes you feel good getting those high-fives and back slaps, but at the end of the day, are you actually accomplishing something? Did you learn a skill? Are you learning something of actual substance?

Or did you get the latest “secret?” The latest “insider information?” If whatever it is made you feel good, it’s probably bullshit and a narcotic. Have fun with that. At least when I hang out with my group, I drink beer.

I’ll be over here dealing with “what is,” instead of building paper forts with the buds.

Honestly, you would be better off looking for something in your locality, literally in your own neighborhood when it comes to joining a group. At least I got to drink and ride with my Brothers in the club and we had each other’s back when shit went down. Real life beats online hands down, every time.

Like Nick said, “The question is, what do you need for the most important part of your journey, the part where you have to go it alone?” Are your buddies in their digital online fort going to be there for you? Probably not. When the money runs out, your money, let’s see where you are left standing, and who is still standing with you. Hint: I’m not going to hold my breath.

Better hope your new online buddies in your new online group, building their new online cardboard box fort are teaching you how to go it alone. You’ve got to be able to go it alone, because at some point, you’ll have no other choice but to go it alone. I guarantee you that.

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Driven To Distraction

Rob Says1 Comment

blur car cellphone contemporary

It’s almost the holidays around here. Work has gotten crazy, life has gotten crazy. People around me are going crazy. I’m going crazy. Too much shit to do, not enough time to do it. Too many articles to write, too many videos to shoot, too much all at once it seems.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself and honestly, I’m not bitching. It’s just….Crazy. I don’t feel like I have enough time to breathe some days. Here’s a little “too much information” for you:

At the time of me writing this, I just got out of the shower. Freshly scrubbed and clean. God it feels good. I took a shower the night before as well. But before that? Sunday. It had seriously been almost 5 days since I had showered. I just got too caught up in everything that I have going on that I forgot to shower. Gross, I know.

What’s my point? My point is decide what is important to you and focus on that. To hell with literally everything else. You only have so many fucks to give, and you can’t give a fuck about everything, so choose what you are going to give a fuck about.

There are so many book recommendations I’ve been given over the last little while, that if I were to try and read them all, I would have to quit my day job, stop seeing my girls, stop writing and podcasting everywhere, and just read. The amount of material would probably take me the rest of my life to read too.

I’ve all but stopped listening to podcasts. I don’t have the time and there’s other things that I would rather do with my time. Life is too short. So basically, I don’t give a fuck about listening to podcasts. Same goes with almost all links and articles that are presented to me. I don’t give a fuck about those either. There’s a couple of blogs that I still read, and always will, unless the writers stop writing, they are that fun and entertaining to me, so I don’t give a fuck about blogs and articles with a couple of notable exceptions. Those writers/authors know who they are. I “like” their stuff and I enteract with them in the comments from time to time, and if it’s something that really hits home for me, or I find it valuable, I’ll share it on social media for others to enjoy.

I don’t give a fuck about the way things were or the way they ought to be. I don’t have time for that. We as a society, maybe even as a species, can’t go backwards. We never have and we never will. There are no time machines that exist as far as I know, and even if there were, I wouldn’t use it. As “bad” as things are, I like living in the time and era that I live in. There’s no machine to take us to an “alternate world” either. Too many people fantasize about shit that never happened and never will, wishing they lived in that alternate universe. That’s a complete waste of time to me. The only thing I can think is, “Wow, your life sucks that much, or you’re so bored, that you want to live in another different fantasy universe?” That’s sad to me. Again, I’m perfectly content with where I’m at in the world I’m in, right this moment. No sense living in the past or living in the future. Better to live in the present. Live in the past or the future and your life is going to pass you by regardless. Might as well be present and enjoy what you have while you have it.

My ex-wife and I used to have a sort of “argument.” She had an opinion about anything and everything, and she wanted to know my opinion about whatever it was that she had an opinion on. My answer almost every time was, “I don’t have an opinion. I don’t care about [insert thing here].” It drove her crazy. She couldn’t understand how I couldn’t have an opinion about [insert thing here]. Whatever [insert thing here] was, it was usually something outside of my control and something I couldn’t affect. So why care about it? Why give a fuck?

So what do I give a fuck about? I give a fuck about the time I spend with my girls. They are fun. They whisper nasty things in my ear and that’s really fun. I give a fuck about beer, because well, it’s beer. Beer is fun. Getting a good buzz going is fun.

I give a fuck about what I’m doing on Patreon. Talking with my guys there, I feel like we are a bunch of evil, cackling dudes rubbing our hands together, saying shit like, “Excellent!” as we are watching the world burn. I’ve decided to make my Patreon page be about things that are nearest and dearest to me, stuff that I don’t necessarily want to share here or elsewhere. I’m giving a fuck about that big time. By the way, this isn’t a plug. In a way, I like that I only have a few patrons, it’s more intimate that way.

Apparently I give a fuck about this blog, because here I am, writing some more nonsense for you to enjoy. Or not enjoy. That part I don’t give a fuck about. I guess I enjoy the process of writing, especially when I “get into a groove,” and things just flow and go, you know?

Right now, I give a fuck about sleep. I feel like I haven’t slept in a week. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go to bed. But before that, I’m going to turn off the computer, turn off the alarm, and turn off my phone. I’m pulling the plug on it all, at least for the night. Maybe even for a full day or two. The world will keep on keeping on without me. Nothing and nobody needs my attention that bad. The world won’t end while I take a siesta.

Decide what is important to you and focus on that.

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Honor, Virtue, and Chivalry

Rob SaysLeave a comment
knight in front of woman in green dress
Bending The Knee For M’Lady.

The definition of honor according to Webster: A good name or public esteem.

The definition of virtue according to Webster: Conformity to a standard of right.

The definition of chivalry according to Webster: Literally, mounted men-at-arms. Or, a gallant or distinguished gentleman.

These things all sound great don’t they? Sure they do. They all sound great on paper and in theory. However, honor, virtue, and chivalry are nothing but “container” words. What is a “good name?” You get to decide what that is. You get to put that meaning in the container. What is a standard of right? Again, you get to put that meaning into the container. Same with a gallant or distinguished gentleman. As a bonus, gallant and distinguished are also container words.

They are vague. They are “hypnotic.” What they have in common though, is expectations. When you throw around words like honor, virtue, and chivalry, what you are really doing is telegraphing your expectations. Your expectations of you, and most likely, other people. News flash: You are setting yourself up for disappointment. People are going to do what they want to do and rationalize it and justify it after the fact, but they are still going to do it. Meanwhile, you are going to be disappointed because they didn’t live up to that expectation of your definition of honor, virtue, or chivalry. But hey, you get to burn.

I’ve had a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because they are going to mean something different to everybody. Sort of like the word, love. We all “know” what it is, but it’s going to be different for everybody. I have a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because more likely than not, your definition of these words are going to differ from mine. I know I’m not going to hold you to my definition of these words, and that’s because I don’t “deal” in them. I guess I’m not “honorable, virtuous, and chivalrous” like “everybody else.”

I would rather deal in “what is,” instead of what was, or even better, what ought to be.

To me, talking about honor, virtue, and chivalry is mostly mental masturbation. We are jerking off over definitions of something that is vague and is out of reach. It’s an ideal. Philosophers both recent and long deceased have argued the merits and terms of these words, and that’s fine. I don’t care. I’m just going to live my life and “do me.”

I would rather choose to live for experiences than argue or discuss what is or isn’t honorable or virtuous. I would rather feel the burn of a good scotch going down my throat than talk of the mythical days of yore.

I would rather feel the sting of cigar smoke in my eye, especially if it brings a tear. That’s an experience.

Here’s a fun experience I had recently:

Me: “Mmmm…You are salty!”

Her: “My attitude or my skin?”

Me: “Yes.”

Massive amounts of laughter ensued.

That’s the kind of shit I live for.

Maybe my lack of interest in honor, virtue, and chivalry may make me “immoral” in some people’s eyes. I don’t care. I don’t consider myself moral or immoral. I guess I’m amoral. I do what I want to do for the experience that doing whatever it is, brings. I try not to infringe on other people and what they are doing, because I don’t care for it when they infringe upon me.

I guess I spent so many years in my head, talking about ideals and codes and what ought to be, and ultimately ending up miserable, that now as I’ve gotten older, I realize that ultimately, nobody gives a shit, and that set me free. For the most part, I can do what I want. If people don’t like it, nobody gives a shit, especially me. As long as I’m not putting you in harm’s way, I’m good.

If you want to wax poetic about honor, virtue, and chivalry, that’s totally fine by me. You do you. You do your thing. I’m not interested in those subjects though, and frankly, I don’t think I would have anything to add to it, other than what I’m saying about it right here, right now.

I’ll be over here, feeling the burn of booze in the back of my throat, smelling the sweet smell of a good cigar, tasting the spice and heat of some good food, and enjoying her salty attitude and her salty skin.

Cheers.

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