A Case Of “The One”

adult blur bokeh bright

“Stanley” is another co-worker of mine. He’s a fairly young man, around the age of 27 or 28. He’s not originally from Utah and at least as long as I have known him, he’s been morbidly obese.

Stanley had gastric bypass surgery not too long ago, within the last 6 months and he’s losing a lot of weight and he’s beginning to look good. Stanley is also a guy that if I had to guess, has never had sex with a woman. He just gives off that “vibe.” He’s more of the guy that likes to play his video games and hang out with his buds.

Stanley made an announcement at work the other day. He’s moving on. He’s moving to Arizona.  That’s all he said to the majority of us. I found out his reasons as to why he’s moving though. It’s because of a girl.

Apparently Stanley has had some sort of “long distance” relationship with this woman. He’s known her for at least six years, or maybe it’s eight years. The time that he’s known her is a little “fluid,” if you get what I mean.

From what I gather, she’s a “good girl,” she goes to church, which is where and how they met those six or eight long years ago. According to Stanley, he’s found his “One.” He’s ready to uproot his life, his job, where he lives, and run off into the desert of Arizona to be with her.

On one hand, he’s pulling a “Go Big or Go Home” move, which I can appreciate. I don’t know if the guy really knows what he wants, I highly doubt it given what he’s doing, but hey, his determination is there and I can admire that.

The fact that he’s willing to literally give up and trade in his entire life over a woman is the part that has me shaking my head. In some ways, I literally don’t have the words. I don’t have the words for Stanley at least. The guy isn’t just setting himself on fire, he’s self-immolating. This is taking it to an extreme. There is literally nothing I can do for him. He truly gets to burn.

He’s leaving in a few days to go to Arizona to make arrangements for his move in a couple of months. All I can do is shake my head and wave goodbye.

Goodbye Stanley, and godspeed. I hope things work out for you with your “One” and that you live happily-ever-after with her. May you truly find whatever it is that you are looking for. Amen.

No point in trying to talk to him, he’s made up his mind. Last rites commence.

For you guys reading this, I wish this was a work of fiction, some fantastical bullshit that I pulled out of my ass, but it’s not. It’s a true story.

I’ve mentioned guys in the past doing stupid shit and doing some really dumb things, but this one has to be maybe one of the worst. This is a guy who is gambling his future away on a “possibility.” A possibility of love and of sex. Because that’s what this is really about.

Desperation and thirst.

You want to run off and fuck strange pussy in another state? Fine. Do that. I’ve done it and I have no regrets. But you don’t uproot your life, quit your job, and move for that pussy. Go and have an adventure but don’t change your life for it.

Maybe I’m truly an anomaly. Or maybe I’ve had some common sense, a sense of self preservation, and at least a modicum of self esteem that would scream at me, “Dude! What the fuck are you doing? Don’t fucking do that!” to even entertain an idea of what Stanley is doing.

My father will be 70 years old in April. He was with my mother for almost 50 years total by the time she died. He’s now dating another woman and will probably be with her until he dies or until she kicks his ass to the curb, which ever comes first. He has never heard of the Red Pill, and has no idea about it or my involvement with other men in it. He’s very blue pilled when it comes to women, their nature, and relationships, but even he has a modicum of self preservation and self respect.

My father’s girlfriend suggested a little while ago for him to sell his house and then they would use the proceeds of that sale and buy a house in Mesquite, Arizona and live there in the winter and then live in her home in the summer.

My father’s exact words were, “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to sell my house. Why don’t you sell yours? What happens to me if our relationship goes south and you give me the boot?”

Even my Boomer Dad, who’s pretty much computer illiterate and doesn’t really understand women’s natures, understands enough to know that you don’t gamble your whole life away on the prospect of pussy.

Guys, if you have done something like this, like what Stanley is doing, or if you are seriously considering doing it, I can’t help you. No one can. You are truly on your one when it comes to this one. You really get to burn.

Godspeed, good luck and all of that. Amen and goodbye.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Morality and Biology

affection art backlit couple

Recently I’ve been listening to Sex at Dawn and Mating in Captivity while I’ve been out and about doing my route. (Hey it rhymes!) Both audio books have given me a lot of food for thought.

A lot of people have decried and discredited Sex at Dawn, saying that the research is biased and that the author’s have their own agenda. I would agree with the agenda part for sure, some of their language that they use and the way that they write (or in this case, the way that it was narrated) makes an agenda very apparent. I’ve seen and heard that there are other books and whatnot that, at the very minimum, refute a lot of what the author’s had to say. (Sex at Dusk comes to mind, as well as Promiscuity.)

There is a “statement” of sorts that the authors of Sex at Dawn mentioned several times throughout the book that got me to thinking though, and it goes something like this:

If monogamy is our “natural” state, if it is our “natural” sexual strategy, then why do we need to enforce it?

We’ve had years of religion and family forcing monogamy down our throats. We’ve enacted laws, both past and present, that either try to curtail “extramarital activities,” or provide punishments for those who get “caught.” We’ve even got tax break incentives for people to get married.

If monogamy is our “natural” sexual state/strategy, then why adultery? Why “cheating?” Why the “cock carousel?” Why do we need to enforce monogamy if that is our natural state? Why is it both men and women usually end up having multiple partners over the years?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe monogamy is our natural state. At least it’s not mine. The idea of being with just one woman for the rest of my life, at least sexually, doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m glad for the experiences that I have had, and intend to have more before I’m done.

My argument, my complaint, is with the fact that bias and morality end up in research when it comes to damn near everything. I know that confirmation bias is a real thing. I know that we as human beings, as people, are not infallible and that we end up usually looking for things to confirm our ideas, our outlooks if you will, instead of actually seeking “the truth.” It just gets so frustrating when you want to learn about a subject and it seems that for every article, or paper, or what-have-you, there is another article, paper, etc., that refutes it.

Sex at Dawn cites a lot of studies and research that points to the notion that we as human beings aren’t naturally inclined to monogamy. Apparently Sex at Dusk (I haven’t read it yet, so I don’t know for certain. It’s on my next to read list) refutes a lot of what Sex at Dawn had to say.

That seems to be the problem with a lot of “research” these days, and maybe it always has been this way. One study or finding points at one thing, and then another points in a totally different direction, refuting the orginal premise. Who is “right?” Who is “wrong?”

I just want to find the truth. That’s all I’m looking for, is the truth. What is, instead of what “ought to be” or what “should be.” This is what I find so frustrating with many things and is why I tend to “go off” on moralists and purists. I don’t want your morality, I just want the facts. I want the truth. Stop selling me your agenda and just show me the information that points to how things are.

This is why I take issue with the “patriarchy” and TradCon crowd. I don’t have a problem with their message as a whole, but I do have a problem when they are offering it up as “the truth” when clearly you can see, on a daily basis, that the only real patriarchy that exists in the United States and in the West today is the State. If monogamy and marriage were the “natural ways” of us being, then why no-fault divorce? If patriarchy really exists in our modern times, then why do men get divorce raped and have no authority in their marriages?

Again I ask, if monogamy is our “natural sexual strategy,” then why all of the laws and whatnot that enforces it? If monogamy was our “natural state,” then wouldn’t we be doing it as a whole? Why would we need laws and social or cultural customs to enforce it? We don’t need laws and codes of enforcement in order to make us take a shit or to eat, so if monogamy is “natural,” why the enforcement, and why do we as a whole seem to be going against what is supposed to be biologically natural for us?

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

“I Only Bang 9’s and 10’s Brah”

group of woman wearing bikini on body of water
How Would You Rate These Hunnies, Brah?

I’ve always sort of struggled with the “1-10 scale,” and that’s because, at least to me, it’s so subjective. What I consider an “8” you might consider a “5.” I see and hear guys on Twitter all the time saying stupid shit like, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah,” and it makes me laugh and roll my eyes.

Maybe I’m an extremely harsh critic, but I’ve never seen a “10” in the wild. I’ve never met one personally or been introduced to one face-to-face. That’s because, to me, a “10” is literally “perfect.” There are literally no flaws, at least physically, that I can see. I’ve definitely seen my share of “5’s,” “6’s,” “7’s,” and “8’s,” and I’ve even encountered what I would consider to be a “9” or even a “9.5” in the wild. In all of the years that I’ve been walking on the planet, I could count all the “9’s” and the “9.5” on one hand, and probably still have a finger or two left over.

That being said, I don’t ever recall seeing someone so ugly, so deformed, so hideous, as to be considered a “1.” To me, a “1” would be that person that no one would want to fuck, it’s really that bad. So that leaves the “2’s” on up to the “9.5” that I’ve encountered in real life.

I know I have my standards, as I’m sure you do as well. It gets really interesting when you move from the purely physical, to such things as personality, scent, and voice. I’ve met women that on initial approach, I would have rated them a solid “8,” only to catch a whiff of them, or hear them talk, or find out her personality is, let us say, “unpleasant,” and she drops to maybe a “5.” Sometimes even lower if the smell, personality, and voice are all left to be desired.

I’ve also encountered women that on initial approach I would have rated a solid “6.5,” and due to their personality, the way they smell, and their pleasant sounding voice, they got bumped up to a “7.5,” or even an “8.” Have that “6” do her hair, put on a little makeup in just the right amount, and have her throw on her “little black dress” and she moves up to an “8.5.”

You see and understand where I’m going with this don’t you? Everybody has their standards of what they find as attractive and everybody is throwing random numbers around. I’ve seen women rated as “10’s” that I would never even come close to giving that high of a mark to them. Other than seeing models in magazines (do you remember those?) or pictures on the internet, I honestly don’t believe a “10” exists.

Back in the day, Hot or Not used to let you rate people based purely on their looks. You might have been able to guess or get an age, and you might have had a name thrown in there for good measure, but that was it. It would blow me away when I saw women getting “10’s” or “9’s” as their rating, when to me, they might have made for a good “7” or “7.5” At least with Hot or Not, they would average all of the ratings out and you had a better idea of their “true rating.” Not super scientific, but at least it was something.

I even threw a picture of myself up there for shits and giggles, because aren’t we all curious what other’s think of our attractiveness? Of course I got rated as a “1” a couple of times (ouch!) and there were even a couple of “9’s” and “10’s” thrown my way (all I could figure was that I either fit that person’s particular niche, or they were just being really generous.) Turns out after about 500 ratings or so, I averaged at a “6.5” Not bad. It’s actually about where I would have rated myself in the past.

The thing is, the 1-10 scale is not only subjective in the sense of what we individually find attractive, it’s also subjective in the sense of what we think women ought to be.

A “5” is the top of the bell curve. She is average in every sense. She’s neither too thin or too fat. She’s not ugly, but she’s not beautiful. She honestly wouldn’t garner a second look if you were to meet her on the street. She’s just, average.

However, women (and men) today have changed over the years. Obesity is unfortunately the norm now. An “average” woman today is going to be overweight. Maybe not the clinical definition of obese or morbidly obese, but she’s going to be overweight. I’ve seen this firsthand on dating sites and apps where women today are describing themselves as “average” and yet to me, they are overweight. “Thin” is actually still thin, or in some cases, what I would consider “average.” Average to me has always been height/weight proportionate.

What are we to do in order to have some sort of standard when it comes to the 1-10 scale? How are we supposed to come to a concensus of what an actual “5,” or any other number actually is? Are we just “fated” to leaving the 1-10 scale as simply a matter of subjective preference and just “know beauty when you see it?”

Aaron Clarey over at CaptainCapitalism actually came up with an answer that I think actually works out if we are going to have some sort of realistic concensus as to what an actual “5” or any other number actually means in today’s day and age.

Go check it out.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.