It’s been a minute since I last wrote something, and that’s because of two things: Lots and lots of work and lots of doing shit with women.

Since the end of June of this year, I’ve talked to no less than 12 different women from online dating. I’ve met 4 of them in person at least one time, had one of those ghost, had sex with one of them, and I’m currently working on having sex with the other two. I’m also texting with a couple more that just showed up for me in the last couple of days. Who knows where that’s going to go?

Now these numbers aren’t special by any means. I’m no PUA, and I’ve said that many times before. I’m just an average guy who happens to like women, I know how to talk to women, and in turn, I get laid by women.

While I’m out either working my ass off in the broiling heat of summer, or I’m out with women, the internet hasn’t slowed down in the slightest when it comes to guys moaning about pussy.

Guys, if you haven’t been laid in over a year, you’ve made a choice. You have chosen for whatever reason to not have sex. Sitting around and calling women 5’s or 6’s or 8’s or 9’s and 10’s isn’t going to get you closer to getting laid. If anything, it’s just you jerking off about a woman’s looks, which are subjective. Talking about “don’t lean in,” and drawing green lines isn’t going to get you laid. Reading and rereading books and blog posts and watching YouTube videos isn’t going to get you laid. Subscribing to an online men’s cuddle club isn’t going to get you laid.

What might actually get you laid? Going out in the real world and talking to women.

But you have to reassess that desert that is your mind.

Guys moaning about pussy and about how hard it is to date and how fucked up the dating market is and I’m over here with literally more women than I have time to talk to, let alone go out with, do shit with, and hopefully end up fucking them at the end of the day. How is the dating market bad again? I guess if you mean that I don’t have enough time in the day to see them all and fuck them all, then yes, the dating market is pretty bad right now.

The dating market isn’t a desert. You are. It’s in your mind. When you learn to let go of all the bullshit “9’s and 10’s and green lines, and are they banging, and is she a hoe or a housewife nonsense, and the feminist/tradcon buffoonery,” and start to see women as just women, not your archnemesis, you might actually find out that they are pretty fun, pretty lonely, pretty confused, pretty horny, and willing to give you a shot, if only you don’t step on your own dick.

The woman that I had sex with the other day is 33 and by her own admission, she hadn’t had sex in over 4 years. I still can’t wrap my head around that one. It just doesn’t compute. It’s not that I don’t believe her, because why would she make up something like that? It’s just that I try and put myself in that position of not having sex for four years and my brain does a 404 page not found error. I literally can’t fathom it. The longest I have ever gone with not having sex was a little over a year, and that was when I was 20 years old. Since that time I’ve always had sex. I ended “her vow of celibacy” as I jokingly called it and now she can’t get enough. And she is so grateful and so willing to please me.

And yet the dating market is bad and it’s hard, and feminism, and BPD, and 9’s and 10’s, and green lines, and pair bonding, and covid, and blah blah blah. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

You guys have deserts in your minds. Figure it out or go thirsty. And as Rian Stone said it, thirst is the worst.

At the time that I’m writing this, I just got back from a “college reunion” of sorts. To clarify, it wasn’t a reunion sponsored by the university that I attended, but it was put together by a good friend of mine that I roomed with when I was in college.

When I got to the restaurant that we all met up at I realized a few things:

We are OLD. 30+ years will do that I guess. No matter how good you take care of yourself, time DOES catch up to you in time.

Everybody was married except myself and Neil. Neil, when I first met him, was aspiring to be an alcoholic. Those were his words that he said to me back in the day. While I don’t think he ever got to full blown status, he achieved his goal for the most part.

Everybody had kids except myself and Neil. Tom and his second wife had two kids each, and two dogs. It’s the brady bunch for the 2010’s. Jim has been married to Amy for almost 18 years now, and they have two kids that are teenagers. The last time I saw Jim and Amy was at their wedding, 18 years ago. Jim is still in pretty good shape for his age and for how long he has been married, but time and good eating has been catching up to him. Same with Tom. It shows in their faces and in their stomachs. Neil… Neil needs help and fast. It seems that I’m the only one who lost weight and decided not to have children.

Tom’s new wife, now she was fun. From Georgia. The more she drank, the more that southern charm and that southern drawl showed up. It’s a good thing I like Tom and consider him a friend, otherwise… Tom is “married” married. His wife, on the other hand, I think she’s just “married.”

It was good seeing everybody and catching up with them but it made me realize that they hadn’t really changed all that much since I last saw some of them. I’m the one who has changed. I’m the one who can’t really relate to being married and living in “domesticated bliss.” I’m the one who can’t imagine what it is like having and raising kids, and that’s because for the most part, I haven’t. One thing I realized is that I’m genuinely happy for each and every one of them and the lives that they have chosen, but it’s not the life that I choose for me. I just can’t. It’s not for me.

And to think that over 20 years ago, almost 30 years ago, I could have been sitting next to these guys, just like I was today, the only difference is that I might have had kids and a wife that tolerated me, or worst case, that I tolerated. I just can’t do it. It’s not for me. I’m not the domesticated type, and I’m okay with that. I’m better than okay with that, I’m good with that.

Will I see these people before I die? That’s honestly a good question. The only honest answer I can give to it though is, maybe. Honestly it won’t happen by my hand, it will be one of them doing the set up and invite, and if I’m around and I have the time, I’ll show up, much like I did today. Otherwise…

Hearing Tom’s wife say, “Alabama.” With her southern laugh and her southern drawl…Now that was music to my ears. Guess I’m going to have to find me a Southern Belle is all that I can think of.

I don’t really have a point or a lesson to give you on this one, other than I realized that there were a lot of changes amongst my old college friends, and most of them were in me.

Fort Worth Playboy on Twitter brought up something really interesting a while back and I’ll be damned if I can’t find the original tweet, but he basically said that the “average” guy who worked a physical job doesn’t have a lot of time and/or energy to be out day gaming or out in the bars at night, which is why they typically meet women through online dating.

I’m here to confirm that. I’m not saying don’t learn to approach women on the streets or in the bars/night clubs. You’ll usually get better looking women doing those things. I’m all for learning game and how to approach women on the street. Being bold and walking up to women and talking to them takes guts and most women have hardly ever had a man do that to them. It can put them in a tailspin for sure. So learn game. Be willing to take risks and get rejected and learn to approach women on the street, in the grocery store, at the bar, etc.

When your life can be as busy as mine and you work long ass hours though, what to do? I still want feminine company, I still like and want sex. So, what to do? I don’t have a large social circle, most of the guys I know in real life are either married with children, doing the “happy wife, happy life” scene, or they are almost completely clueless. I don’t date co-workers because I don’t want to “shit where I eat,” and there aren’t a lot of women in my line of work. And the couple we do have? They are already taken or they are… *shudders* Let’s just say there isn’t enough alcohol in the world that would get me to a place where I could look at them and say to myself, “Yeah, she’s cute enough, she’ll do.” So again, what to do?

Online dating of course.

I have talked about online dating in the past. Nothing has changed there. I’ve even mentioned what the different body types in online dating actually mean. Nothing has changed there either. Nothing has really changed at all, but I want to share a couple of things with you so that you’ll understand the mindset that I have when it comes to online dating.

Online dating is like fishing. You set up your profile, put up some pictures of yourself, put out a little “bio” about who and what you are, set preferences, etc and there you are. That’s your hook, line, reel, and bait.

I tend to start swiping right off the bat. If she’s attractive to me, I swipe right, click yes, etc. Otherwise it’s a no for me. I don’t bother with her location, her age, height, weight, kids or not, or anything in her bio, if she even has one. I can burn through 100 profiles in under an hour doing this. Then I get off the dating app and get back to life. Oh, and then there’s the one’s that will open you, but I’ll be coming back to this one shortly.

Inevitably, one or more of those swipes is going to match. Call it luck of the draw, law of averages, whatever you want. That’s when I’ll go back and look at the details. How far is she from me? Kids? Smokes? Drinks? Height? Weight? What she has to say about herself in her “bio?” All those things. If a bunch of red flags turn up there, mostly too far away, too many kids, too fat, or too bitchy, I’ll un-match and move on to the next one. If there’s nothing there that turns me off, I’ll start the banter. Then I’ll wait and see what if anything, happens there. Sometimes they hook and the texting takes off and sometimes it goes absolutely nowhere.

The main point I want to emphasize is that like a fisherman, you need to have patience. As of this writing, I have talked to no less than 8 women. That’s all in the last two weeks. 2 of them I have met for drinks, one I was supposed to meet and she flaked, a couple of others are still in the text/talk phase, and a couple are going nowhere fast.

Between work, my shows I do with Nick, Bull, Joe, and Jack, plus wanting “me” time to read, write, drink, and fucking sleep, I don’t have a ton of time to be bullshitting with the babes.

Part of that patience is also realizing that you’ll have “feast or famine” times. There’s been times in my past where I could “cast my line” and get nothing for literally months on end. Then out of nowhere, I get matches and women opening me and opportunities galore to the point that I can’t keep up with them. If I wanted to try that I would have to quit my job and just focus on pussy. So learn to have patience. In many ways, when it comes to online dating, you are playing a somewhat “long game.”

As a final thought: I have seen guys recently who have said some incredibly dense and stupid shit about how if a woman opens you, it’s “masculine.” Bullshit. It’s practically a done deal is what it is. She’s fucking interested, stupid. Don’t step on your own dick. The last women to open me, I have seen her a couple of times, she actually looks better in real life than she does in her pictures, and she hasn’t ghosted or flaked. She’s interested.

Do you know what types of women I find interesting and attractive? Women that are interested and attracted to me.

Learn patience and don’t step on your own dick.