Category: *

There Is No Spoon

Rob Says2 Comments

stainless steel spoon

Guys, I’m going to say something that might be considered anathema and controversial, but here goes.

There is no gender war. The only gender war that I’m seeing is on social media and in various media outlets. If all you do is consume what’s on the internet and on the television, of course there’s a gender war. When I go out at night, when I’m out and about doing my job, when I’m out grocery shopping or running errands, I don’t see a gender war anywhere around me.

I went out the other night to a couple different nightspots. I saw a handful of dudes and a bunch of women at one, and I saw about a 50-50 ratio of men to women at the other location. No gender war in sight. All I saw was a bunch of people having a good time dancing and drinking and mingling with one another. No toxic masculinity, no SJW’s on parade bitching about being oppressed. Just men and women enjoying their evenings with one another.

Does the gender war actually exist? I’m sure it does. At least in theory or on paper. It’s psychological warfare meant to divide and conquer. If you are getting sucked into it, guess what? You are the target at that point. Whoever is putting out this message is trying to divide you from other’s. Recognize it for what it is. It’s Wag The Dog writ large and in real time. Can you actually do something about it? Can you change it? Is it actually useful to you?

As Rian Stone put it, “Be Attractive, Don’t Be Unattractive.” How is getting fired up about a gender war attractive? Is getting fired up about “toxic masculinity” attractive? Is getting pissed off about some hit piece on some obscure website, written by some unattractive, outraged woman attractive, or unattractive? Is it useful to you? Besides the dopamine hit and being able to simmer in your own juices, does it do anything for you?

I’m all for a man or a woman being able to feed off their own emotions, god knows, I’ve done a lot of that over the years, but is it attractive or unattractive? Does it get you to do something useful for you? Or is it a form of masturbation and release? Are you becoming more attractive, or just jerking off?

I keep looking for the gender war around me and I keep missing it I guess. I’m not finding it. I see a lot of confused people trying to figure themselves and each other out and how they fit together in our world, but that’s been going on since I can remember. Not much has changed there.

I actually feel sorry for women today. Most of the garbage that is out there, claiming there is a gender war going on, was written by women for women. They are poisoning their own well, and then drinking it to boot. The women who stumble across it are stopping and having a big old drink of it and fucking themselves up even more than before. God help them. Oh well, I’ve said it before, and here it is again, they have to burn.

I think we as Men are too much in our heads most of the time. We overthink things and make them way more complicated than they need to be.

“This woman slid up to me and is grinding on me…What do I do? What do I say? I need to play it cool. I need to be calm and think straight. What if I put my arms around her and pull her in? What if she doesn’t like that? What if she doesn’t want that? Oh god, I don’t want her to think…Wait…She’s leaving! Dammit! I should have….”

Get out of your heads my Brothers. Get out of your heads and back into your bodies. Don’t think, just act. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

There’s no gender war. At least not in the streets that I occupy. Not in the space that I inhabit. Just men and women doing their thing.  I guess that none of them got the memo that there is a gender war going on. And man, those women? They are friendly as hell and looking for a little company, even if it’s only for a few moments.

Drop a few kind words. Crack a joke. Tease her just a little bit. Smile at her. That’s attractive. Or stay locked in your gender war, getting pissed off over imaginary boogeymen that you can’t do anything about anyways. The choice as always, is yours. You get to burn. Don’t worry though, I’ll be watching, eating popcorn, and laughing my ass off. And once you put that fire out, I’ll ask you just one question:

“How’s that working out for ya, bud?”

There is no spoon. There is no gender war. There is just being attractive or being unattractive. Choose.

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Appreciating Women

Rob Says5 Comments
woman holding flowers
It’s all about the Sun Hat Gods. LOL 😉

I’m probably going to catch hell from certain circles of the ‘Sphere about this essay. I imagine that there are going to be guys who will think that I’ve lost my mind and that I’m going “purple” or “blue pill” on them. I’m not. This isn’t about women all being sugar and spice and boy, do they smell nice. This isn’t about “you too can find and get your One.” This isn’t about pedestalization. In fact, it’s not really about women at all, or at least for the most part. It’s about You. Let’s carry on…

I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately, and something showed up for me that I’ve never really given a lot of thought to. Let me start off with a little back story…

The other day I was drinking and shitposting on Twitter as I usually do, and I had a conversation via DM’s with a guy that I follow and have a ton of respect for. We got to bullshitting as we do, and he sends me this link. Now in this link some asshole author called him an Esquire. The Red Pill Douche, Esq to be exact. Which got me to thinking, “this guy is fucking royalty!” That or the author of the blog post has a real hard-on for my guy. Either way, I decided right then and there that I too, wanted a title. So I knighted myself and gave myself the title of Esq. as well because, why the fuck not?

What did this little story have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing. I just decided to share it because I found it immensely amusing and immensely entertaining.

Anyways, after I knighted and anointed a few other guys and drank a couple more beers, I decided to see what my “daygamers” were up to. I have a lot of respect for these guys because they are out there in the field, hitting on the babes, getting shot down, getting the number, getting the close, and in some cases, getting the lay.

These guys are bulletproof, let me tell you. So I’m scrolling their timelines, reading their shit, and of course, links and blogs galore start showing up. And of course, yours truly has to go down THAT rabbit hole.

Many clicks later, I stumbled across a blog that I had only heard mention of, I’m sure the pick up guys will snicker and call me a noob as I’m sure this particular blog is old hat to that crew, but hey, you can teach an old dog like me new tricks.

So I’m combing through this particular blog and I stumble across a post written in 2016. It’s titled How To Appreciate Every Woman (At least temporarily), and it got me to thinking…

First off, it’s a great article and I highly recommend you read it, especially if you are a Man, and here’s what I got thinking about:

I’ve had a lot of experience with women over the years. I’m not just talking about sexually, but in general. Women don’t bother me for the most part. They are who they are, warts and all. Sometimes I see guys post some crazy shit about women, and I’m thinking to myself, “Really? Is that what happened to you? Man, that sucks. I’ve never had that happen to me, thank God.” And then I move on.

I see guys stressing about hypergamy, which is a thing, but it isn’t the be-all-end-all of women. There’s more going on there than that, and after I read that article that I just linked, it got me to thinking, “Are some guys opinions and points of view simply because they lack the experience with women that I’ve had?” Honestly I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that question, but it sounds plausible.

Guys, I won’t know how you answer this question, so at least be honest with yourselves:

How much experience have you had relating to women? I’m not just talking sexually. And I’m not talking about family either. How much interaction have you had with them besides, “Hello, how are you? How’s your day going?”

Based on my observations, I would think that there are some guys out there that have had little to no interaction with women. And that’s okay. I’m not judging.

Like the article mentions though, what if you decided to go out there and interact with women? Don’t worry about “getting the number,” or “getting the lay.” What if you just decided to talk to them? Have a conversation with them?

One of the things that I found really profound in that article was this:

Instead of looking for imperfections when you see a girl, look for her best feature.

This alone can transform your sex life.

I realize that I do this a lot. Every day, when I’m out and about, I run into women all over the place. A gigantic proportion of them I would not find sexually attractive, and I wouldn’t want to get them into bed. But I make it a point to find something about them that I find attractive, at least for that moment.

Maybe it’s her hair. The length of it. The color. The way she styles it. Maybe it’s the way she pushes her glasses up onto her nose. Maybe it’s her smile, or the way she snorts when she giggles. Maybe it’s something she is wearing. Maybe it’s her perfume.

I’ve even been able to find something attractive about a tatted up, pierced, and multi-colored hair SJW. After all, she is still a woman (at least as far as I know) and she may be pissed off at the world, but chances are it’s because she drank too much of the kool-aid.

So guys, you want to “up your chances” with women? You need to get out there and meet women and interact with them. It doesn’t mean you have to bed every woman you meet. Just talk to them. I challenge you to find one thing, just one thing that you can find attractive about her, and focus on that. See where it goes. You might surprise yourselves.

Picking up women is a numbers game. In many cases, as I have found through my own personal experience, it’s also a matter of being the right guy, in the right place, at the right time.

So here’s my challenge to you, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with women:

Go out and do your things like you always do. (That means you have to leave the house.)

See women all around you, and they really are all around you, so pay attention.

Every woman you see, find something about her that you find attractive. Could be anything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she walks, her laugh. Literally anything.

Make a mental note to yourself of whatever it was. Talk to her if you want. Or don’t. Move on. Rinse and repeat.

Our society and our culture has men and women at war with each other. It doesn’t have to be this way. It starts with you making a choice. Choose to look for something attractive about her when you see her. I don’t care if you talk to her or not. I don’t care how old she is. I don’t care if she’s “not your type.” Just find one thing, that one thing, that you can say to yourself that you find attractive about her. Instead of looking for reasons to reject her, look for something that you like about her.

It brings the humanity back to her. It takes the “us versus them” mentality down a notch.

One of the things that I have noticed is this: The more you can find something attractive about a woman, the easier it gets to talk to her. The more “experience” you have with women, the more success you will have with women. The more you interact with women, I’m not talking about texting and doing stuff online, I’m talking real life, face-to-face interactions with them, the more their humanity comes out. This whole, us vs them mentality starts to fade.

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The Internet Never Forgets.

Rob Says2 Comments

download

Many years ago, I had a co-worker who was literally the poster boy for the company. He had an incident happen, that for that particular industry, it was a really big deal. He did everything right, he did it by the book and did it by the numbers. Everything went perfectly. He was held up as the standard to aspire to for his fellow employees.

Fast forward a year and the guy gets fired. He didn’t get fired for theft, embezzlement, or any other sort of crime. Nor did he get fired for not doing his job. You see, he got fired for talking about work on the internet. He had a bad day and decided to take his frustrations to the internet and to vent. Now, he could have gotten away with doing this, except that he named the company. This company had IT guys that did nothing all day but scour the internet using the company name as one of the search parameters. They wanted to keep their fingers on the pulse of what the world at large thought of the company.

The company is and was international and a lot rode on their name, their reputation, so when his post, his rant, showed up, and he was talking negatively about the company, he was fired. He went from poster boy to pariah within a year. And this was back in the early 2000’s.

Why am I bringing this up? We all know shit like this happens all the time. People get fired and ostracized for wrongthink, especially when it comes to their jobs. Old news, right?

I’m bringing it up because of something that was said in a group that I belong to online. This group consists of a bunch of ordinary guys, swapping notes, shooting the shit, and busting each other’s balls. Typical dude shit.

Somebody screenshotted a photo of a young woman off of Tinder though. Now, to me, her face was ordinary. She wasn’t ugly, nor was she attractive. She was average. A 5 out of 10. A plain Jane. Totally forgettable. Except…

Except that in her “bio” she mentioned something along the lines of accepting money for dates. Something about being a “sugar baby.” Basically a form of prostitution.

Her picture, her bio, they are out there. Out in the wild. Out on the internet. And the internet never forgets.

Right now, today, jobs are not only looking at your criminal backgrounds and your credit scores, they are looking at your social media profiles. They are looking to see what you are doing, what you are saying, and who you are saying and doing those things with. Old news.

But what about this young woman, who is 19 or so? Maybe her job hasn’t seen what she’s saying she’s looking for, what she’s willing to do. Maybe they don’t care. Maybe what she does on her personal time is none of their business and none of their concern. I get that. And honestly, that’s how it should be.

But what about a guy she meets, whether online or off? What if he decides to do a little digging, see what shows up you know? Facial recognition software already exists. It’s only a matter of time before it becomes affordable and publicly available to the masses. Hell, you can take any photo off of the internet, throw it into Google images, and have a reasonable chance of finding the origin of that photo, or at least finding similar ones out there. That’s old news.

What if this young woman, after spending several years, living it up, partying it up, posting her antics and her whatnot’s on the internet decides she wants to “settle down” one day? We all want love right? We all, for the most part, are looking to spend a significant portion of our time with somebody else. Spend our lives together, start a family, that sort of thing. What happens if and when that potential suitor does an internet search on her face and that Tinder profile, showing that she was willing to exchange sex for money shows up? What is he going to do then? What would he think?

Thank god, I’m the age I am and grew up when I did. The internet didn’t exist when I was a hooligan. All of my exploits are lost to time, and since there are no pics, it didn’t happen.

I get it though. We either were or are, young and dumb at some point in our lives. YOLO and all of that. But just remember, the internet never forgets. Whatever you post online is out of your hands the moment you post it. Sure, you can set your privacy settings to “friends only.” You can even set them to “just me.” But what about your “friend” that does a screen shot from their phone? What if somebody gets your password or hacks your account? So much for privacy settings.

It’s probably wiser to take one from the mafia on this:

Keep your mouth shut. Or in this case, don’t be posting photos or videos of you doing stupid shit that could have repercussions a decade from now.

download

Here’s a picture worth a thousand words. You might also be lucky to be called “grandma,” as well. Let that sink in.

 

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