Category: *

Let ‘Em Burn Part 2

Rob SaysLeave a comment

fire warm radio flame

The Latest Dumpster Fire Brought To You By BullRush.

Hang on with me here for a minute while I give you some definitions. I promise, there’s a point to it.

The definition of sadism: A delight in cruelty. Yes, there’s a sexual component in the main definition as well, but for the purposes of this article, I’m not using the sexual part, just the delight in cruelty.

The definition of masochism: pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering.

Normally, I’m not one to go back and read my blog posts once I’ve done the initial proof-reading and submitted it for posting. I’m definitely a “one and done guy” when it comes to what I write. Otherwise I would be constantly going back, changing shit up, adding something here, deleting something there, and the work would probably never see the light of day. My perfectionism in what I do is one way that I definitely set myself on fire.

I had to go back today though and read my first post about letting them burn. I wanted to make sure that what I’m going to bring up today isn’t just an entire repeat and rehash of that prior work.

Side note:

I’m really proud of that post. I’m also really proud of myself that I didn’t go back and start nitpicking it and rearranging it like I thought I would. I guess while I doused myself in gasoline with the thought of going back and revisiting it, I didn’t actually strike a match and set myself on fire.

The post still stands. I should hope it does, since it’s sort of my mantra.  Most of the stuff I write about is more, “notes to myself” than anything.

Here’s a funny thing I’ve realized:

I have a little sadistic streak. I get a little giddy when I watch someone burn. I find myself giggling when it happens. I’m not going to lie, it’s fun to watch them burn. I want to pull out the marshmallows and start cooking them over the fire, and then ask them, “How’s that working out for ya, bud?” But I know they won’t hear me over the sound of the flames.

I’m beginning to think in terms of sadism and masochism lately. The only thing I can think of when someone sets themselves on fire is that they want to burn, that they want to suffer. You and have both seen someone set themselves on fire again and again, over the same issue or issues. I’m thinking that if you do that, you’re probably a masochist. You enjoy the suffering. With the power of the internet at your fingertips, a group of Men in the ‘Sphere who are willing and able to help you out, and you ignore that help, or even better, you refuse it? You are a masochist in my eyes. You definitely get to burn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you are a decent person, but burn you will. And I will enjoy watching it happen. I’ll warm my hands over your fire.

Every now and then, I’ll stumble across someone burning and get this impulse to want to help them, to save them from themselves. I have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and tell myself, “Let ‘Em Burn.” And then I can smile and nod, tell them what they want to hear if necessary, and get on with my life. I don’t get nearly as pissed off as I used to.

I have empathy, believe me I do. Whatever dumb shit someone is doing at that moment, I’ve probably done it before. So I most likely know where they are coming from. I just don’t do pity. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself when I set myself on fire, and I’m not going to feel sorry for you or anyone else when they set themselves on fire. You just get to burn.

I’m finding myself wanting to add fuel to that fire these days. It’s that sadist in me. Instead of just sitting back and roasting marshmallows, I’m wanting to “agree and amplify” the inferno in front of me. I’m thinking and hoping that what will happen is that you will burn hotter, faster, and brighter than before, and therefore you’ll burn out or put your own fire out faster so that we can get on with the business of getting on. Maybe that will work out. Maybe not. We’ll see. Time will tell.

Guys, if you are going to take “Let ‘Em Burn” to heart and actually use it, you’re going to have to get merciless and ruthless, especially with yourselves. Don’t do pity on yourselves. Don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Don’t kill yourselves when you set yourselves on fire, but don’t have a pity party either. It’s okay when you burn, that’s hopefully when and where you will learn about yourselves. Maybe you won’t be so eager to light another match on the next go around. Then again, maybe you’re a masochist and you enjoy your suffering. I understand that too. And if you want, I’m more than happy and willing to help you in that endeavor as well. I like to watch people twist in the wind. I enjoy the bonfires. The marshmallows are especially tasty when I’m toasting them over you. I enjoy it when I roast those babies over myself. Guess I’m kind of a masochist too.

When you’re either done burning and have put yourself out, or it burned out on it’s own, I’ll be there for you if you would like. I can either hand you a damp towel so that you can wipe the soot off of your face, or I can hand you another container of gasoline and another match.

Either way, I’m good.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Do You Even “Like” Women? Part 2

Rob Says3 Comments
woman sitting on bench
Got Your Fucking Attention, Didn’t I?

Larryzb commented on my post: Of course, the question arises: Do women even know how to love men these days? Have you taken that one up previously?

And I responded with: My experience recently is that they can and do, just not in ways that we as Men want or expect.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t taken this one up previously. So I’m going to give my two cents on it now.

My response is what I have seen, and yes, I’m ripping off Rollo. Why? Because he’s right. Women can’t love men the way we as men want them to. For a lot of years, most of my life even, I’ve wanted women to love me the way that I love them. Idealistically. Passionately. Even fatalistically. I wanted them to take a bullet for me. I wanted them to cry to me their undying love for me. I wanted them to kill themselves for me. Because at least for me, back in the day, I would have done all of that for them. And more.

Pathetic? Yes. Sad? Yes. Sad but true. And then I woke up.

Women will never be able to love us the way that we want them to. That doesn’t mean that they can’t love us. They can only love us how they love us. That’s a shitty answer, I know. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. And I know that it’s a kind of circular answer too. They can only love us how they love us. Guys, I’m not a woman, and I can’t read their minds. I don’t know “how” they love us per se, only that they do.

For me, I’m big on affection. I like to touch and be touched. I’m sure there’s a “system,” or a book somewhere that will happily label whatever that means. Oh! Well Rob, that means you’re…

I don’t give a fuck. I just know that I like to touch and be touched. That’s one of the ways that I know that I’m being loved. When a woman fixes me a meal. That’s another way that I know she loves me. It shows me she cares and that she cares about my well-being. It really shows up when she takes the time to make something that I really like. It shows that she put thought into it.

Oh, and time. She may not have a fuckton of it, but if she makes it a point to spend time with me, that shows me that she loves me.

Of course, terms of endearment and words of affection are nice too. Calling me baby, is one. Calling me Daddy is even better, but that’s for another post at another time.

Sometimes when she either puts her head in my lap and puts her arms around my waist, or curls up on me, like a cat, that’s a good one. Even when she puts one or both of my legs to sleep.

Do women even know how to love these days? Yes, I believe so.

I see it in their eyes when they look at me. The sparkle, the shine, the shimmer. Whatever you want to call it.

I hear it in her voice when she answers the phone when I call her. All breathless and whatnot, like she just ran a marathon to grab the phone. And of course, she answered it on the first ring.

Sometimes she’ll send me YouTube videos of some sappy love song with a comment of, “Read the lyrics.”

Or she’ll just text me out of nowhere, “Thinking of You.” With the little kissy emojicons of course.

Or she’ll shave my head for me. Because that pleases me and I like that shit. Or she’ll shower with me and wash my back and the rest of my body. Or she’ll give me a full body massage, even though I know she’s dead tired from a long day at work. And she won’t even bitch, not once.

Or she’ll bring me a beer while we are sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Without me even asking her to do it. Or she’ll whip me up a mudslide.

Sometimes it shows up in her urgency to fuck the living shit out of me. Or the blowjobs. Goddamn..The blowjobs. But Rob! That’s not love! That’s lust! Fuck off, I don’t care.

There’s all sorts of ways that women love us men. It’s just not the way that we want or expect, or even hope for sometimes. She just does it her way, the only way that she knows how.

When we can let go of our expectations that they will love us the way that we love them, life gets interesting. You get to see that they can, and do, love us. You just have to drop the expectations and let them show and tell you in their own ways.

That’s all I’ve got for you on that one. I just know the one’s that show up in my world love me, in their own ways, even if it’s not what I wished for, hoped for, or expected. I guess I just roll with it and assume that they do. That’s enough for me at least.

I guess I could do worse. I could tell myself that they don’t love me, that they don’t know how to love me, and that they are incapable of loving me. But what good is that? Where’s that going to get me? Masochistic, I tell you.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Do You Even “Like” Women?

Rob Says11 Comments

afterglow art backlit bokeh

“A Man Who Loves Women is Loved By Women.” – Zan Perrion.
Yeah yeah, Zan has received flak for being “purple pilled.” He’s definitely got a sort of “new age sensitive guy” thing going on and he can get all metaphysical, flowery, and mystical.
He’s not wrong though.
I’ve got a serious question for you guys though. It might be one of the most serious questions of your life.
You don’t need to answer me, but you do need to answer to yourself, and be honest with yourself. There’s no wrong answer here.
Here’s the question:
Do you like women?
I’m pretty sure you guys want women for a variety of reasons. But do you like them? Or do you simply want what they can give you? Do you want something from them? No wrong answers.
I’m bracing for the inevitable, “You’re virtue signalling to the wahmen!” with my next remark, but fuck it, here it goes:
I like women. I like being around them. I like them for being them. I honestly don’t have an agenda with them.  It’s not always about attraction and sex, I just genuinely like them. Even when they say and do stupid shit.
It wasn’t always that way.
Of course I wanted sex. Who doesn’t? But I can say up until a couple of years ago, I didn’t actually like them. I didn’t trust them. I figured they had agendas (and they do, but everyone does.) Hypergamy, AWALT, branch swinging, all of that stuff. Now I know that stuff exists and I know that women can and sometimes do, some fucked up shit. But I like them anyway. It’s a conscious choice for me.
I have a friend who recently started unplugging from the matrix. He’s taking care of his weight and his diet. He’s dressing better. He’s even starting to “get back out there” as far as being around women goes.
He’s still dealing with a lot of shit though. His latest thing is his “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” thing. He’s snubbing women closer to his own (and my own) age. Basically one of those, “Ha! Fuck you ladies! You didn’t want me back when we were in our 20’s! Well you can’t have me now in our late 40’s! Suck it!”
I’m exaggerating on the language part, but that’s pretty much the mentality. I know what that’s like because I’ve been there too, in the past. But I got through it and over it. I hope he does too. Until then, he gets to burn. I’m not going to try to tell him, “Dude. What you’re doing? Yeah, that’s not it.”
Guys, if you want to get “good” with women, I want you to understand a few things:
There are no tricks, hacks, tips, magic pills, short cuts, systems, or lines that will work.
Not if you want to be “good” with women over the long haul. Yeah you might pick up a few drunk ones and maybe a couple of really adventurous ones once in awhile using lines, hacks, systems and tricks. But honestly, almost all women can smell that bullshit from miles away. I know because I’ve tried it and failed spectacularly.
First things first. You have to get your mental shit together. You have to genuinely like women. You can’t hold grudges and do this “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” bullshit with them. So whatever bullshit you have against the women from your past, you need to get through that. You need to deal with that. You need to get over it.
You have to like women in order to love women. And if and when you do, they will love you in return and that’s when things get really fun and interesting. That’s when the world opens up to you.
I’m not bullshitting you and trying to paint some bullshit fluffy picture. It’s the only way I can describe it though.
When I gave up my anger towards women and began to actually genuinely like them, I learned to love them and they loved me back, hard.
So when you see or hear guys talk about, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah lol” Dude, that’s not it.
It’s okay if you don’t like them right now. Maybe you got really fucked over. Maybe you got really fucked over more than once. I get it. I’m not judging you. You just need to be honest with yourself and where you are at right now, mentally, with women.
Do you like them? Or do you just want something from them? Sex? Validation? Cure for loneliness? A hate fuck? It’s all good by me.
Do you like talking to them because you enjoy conversing with them? Or are you trying to “seduce” them? There’s a difference here.
I’m sure that I’m going to catch heat for what I’ve said here. “You’re pedestalizing the wahmen!” “You’re making it all about the wahmen!” “You’re giving the wahmen a pass!” “Your frame! You’re losing it!” No. I’m not.
Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.